“Uh!” I grunted, struggling under the weight of boxes of shirts I was carrying. Who knew clothing could be so heavy. I was literally going to kill Jeremy for not helping me.
“Midnight!” I heard someone yell behind me. I tried to turn around carefully, but the top box didn’t seem to want to cooperate and fell to the ground. I let out a groan. Who put me in charge of merch anyway?
“I am so sorry,” Ricky told me as he ran up to me. He immediately bent down to help me pick up the shirts that had fallen to the grass. We were going onstage in less than a half hour, so I really didn’t have time for this.
“It’s ok,” I replied even though I was a lit angry. It wasn’t really his fault, but I needed to be heading over to the stage soon. I picked up a shirt and examined it for grass stains knowing that if any of them were stained, I was dead.
“Well, before that box dropped, I was just gonna say you dropped your drumstick,” he told me, holding out my custom drumstick. I instinctively felt my back pocket where I usually kept my drumsticks only to find that only one was stuck between the layers of fabric.
“Thank you. I would’ve been so mad it I lost it,” I replied, taking my drumstick from his open hand gratefully. I was always losing or breaking my sticks and I couldn’t really afford to lose too many more.
“It looks like you need some help with these boxes,” he commented with a chuckle. He picked up the fallen box and instead of handing it back to me, he started to head towards the Into The Dark merch tent. The first thought that came into my head was how much of gentlemen he was. Any of my other friends would’ve have ran off as soon as soon as they had thrown everything back in the box if they had even stopped to help me.
“Thanks, Ricky,” I told him when we got to our tent. I gave him a huge smile as we handed Trent, who was Into The Dark's merch guy, the boxes. Trent raised his eyebrows at me as Ricky started expecting the merchandise that was already displayed. I wanted to give Trent the finger, but I didn’t want Ricky questioning it, so I held back.
“Ooo, is this your guys’ album?” Ricky questioned excitedly, gesturing to the CD case that was taped down on the table. I nodded looking down at the album art. We had chosen to put a skull on it since we called the album The Living And The Dead. “I like the title,” he told me with a half smile tugging at his lips. I was really proud of the album. From the title to cover to the lyrics, which I helped write, to the drums. I was just so proud that I had been able to help create such an awesome album. I’m not trying to sound conceited, I just really put a hard work into that album.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, feeling my face get hot for some reason. I looked down at the table hoping that my hair would hide me face. I had yet to see some of the bracelets we were selling this tour so I busied myself with that. I usually ended up taking some of them. I wore a lot of bracelets and I got them for free if I just took them from my own band’s merchandise.
When I looked back up at him, he was reading the track listing. “These are awesome song titles. Who came up with them?” he complimented yet again. I was starting to feel uncomfortable. If he complimented one more thing, I might have to make up some excuse to get away.
“Um, Jeremy mostly but I came up with a few,” I replied and proceeded to point out the three titles that were my idea. My favorite song on the record was the very last one. I named it and had written most of the lyrics. It was about my childhood and what it was like growing up without a dad. My dad left when I was ten, which is a huge reason why I don’t like letting people into my life. The worst part is that I remembered him. We had been so close, but yet he had left my mum and me.
“Aren’t you suppose to be on stage in, like, ten minutes?” Trent interrupted. I was kind of glad he did since I had started rambling on about the record. I usually only rambled when I was nervous.
“Oh, shit, yeah,” I answered, checking the time on my phone. I felt my hands get sweaty at the thought of playing. This while tour was making me nervous. It was such a big, well-known tour that I felt pressure to make every show perfect. Instinctively, I started speed-walking to the stage. Ricky followed close behind.
“I thought you died, Midnight!” Jeremy exclaimed when he spotted me. After he spoke, he quickly went back to his vocal warmups. I was glad that I had never had the desire to be a singer because those vocal warmups seemed like a bitch.
“Sorry, I lost track of time,” I apologized, tapping my sticks on my warmup pad. Ricky just stood near me awkwardly. He was always pretty quiet. I could feel my hands getting sweaty at the thought of playing in front of such a big crowd. I probably be like this the whole show.
“You guys are on!” someone yelled. I took a deep breath and tried to mentally calm myself down. I could feel my stomach churn with nervousness and I suddenly began craving a cigarette. Hopefully by the end of this tour I’d be more comfortable on stage.
“Good luck,” Ricky called after me as I ran on stage. I was the first one to go on. Then Blake, Aaron, and Dan and finally Jeremy. The crowd went wild when Jeremy finally graced the stage.
As my foot hit the kick drum, I could see Ricky on the side of the stage out of the corner of my eye. He was watching me intently. I could feel his eyes on me and I was surprised my sweaty hands didn’t drop my drumsticks. I took another deep breath. I couldn’t let Ricky make me nervous. I, to be honest, didn’t really care what he thought anyway, or at least that’s what I told myself. I felt myself getting in the zone like every other show we’ve played. I was able to block out everything besides what was playing in my in ears and what my arms and legs were doing. After playing the same sixteen songs for the past two years, I had learned these songs by heart. I could probably play them with my eyes closed.
The half hour went by really fast. I managed to pay attention to the songs and keep my mind off Ricky, which was surprising. I still couldn’t quite put my finger why I was so nervous around Ricky. I guess we were becoming friends, but I wasn’t this nervous around any of the other bands I had become friends with since we started touring. I had managed to become pretty good friends with Pierce The Veil, Asking Alexandria, The Word Alive, and I See Stars, but never had I felt this way around any of those guys. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t have feelings for him. I had just met him and you can’t have a crush on someone you barely know. Other than that, I didn’t want a boyfriend. I didn’t need one. Relationships just caused pain in the end. Anyway, I’m sure he would never like me like that. Even if I wanted him to, he wouldn’t. Who wanted a girl like me?
“You guys were amazing!” Ricky exclaimed, pulling me out of my thoughts. I couldn’t help but smile. Even if I was unsure how I felt about him, it was nice to be complimented.
“Thank you,” I told him, a blush forming on my face. Why did he have such an affect on me? I shoved my drumsticks in my back pocket and wiped my sweaty palms on my black jeans.
“That was great, Midnight!” a familiar voice shouted from behind me. I turned around to see Devin from I See Stars. When we had been touring with ISS, we had become really good friends. Jeremy used to joke that we acted like a couple and we had actually fooled everyone to think we were going out for about a week.
“Devin!” I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around him. I know you’re probably thinking that I hate most people and shouldn’t be so close with someone I met six months ago, but my friendship with Devin was different for some reason. I had felt comfortable around him since I met.
He hugged me back happily. “It’s been so long since I seen you,” Devin told me after letting me go. I had truly missed him. Outside of the band, he was my best friend.
“Did you guys play already?” I questioned. Last week we had been texting and I had promised to watch I See Stars play everyday if I could. I wasn’t one to go back on my word.
“Nope. We play next,” he responded, putting his arm around me. I could see Ricky eyeing us questioningly, but him being so quiet, I doubted he would say anything. He was probably thinking we were together or something.
“Awesome. I’m glad I didn’t miss it,” I told him excitedly. I was a pretty big I See Stars fan. After Devin and I became such good friends, I obviously started listening to them.
“Hey, Devin,” Jeremy greeted. I always kind of thought Jeremy was a bit jealous of my friendship with Devin. Jeremy would always be my best friend, though, no matter who else I was friends with.
“Hey, nice to see you, man,” Devin responded with a smile. That’s when Devin caught sight of Ricky. Ricky fit in with us pretty well considering we all wore makeup and wore black most of the time just like all the Motionless In White members, so it was no wonder why Devin didn’t notice him.
“Devin, this is Ricky. Ricky, this is my friend, Devin,” I said quickly as their eyes locked. Ricky’s expression seemed to change when I said ‘my friend.’ He looked almost relieved. Why, I didn’t know.
“Nice to meet you,” Ricky greeted. He took a long drag of his cigarette and gave Devin a smile. Something about his body language told me he was getting a bit uncomfortable about being around all these people, just like I got.
Devin was about to respond when someone announced that I See Stars was on. Surprisingly, Ricky stayed and watched with me. Not even Jeremy stayed. He wasn’t a big fan of all the electronic stuff so he obviously didn’t like ISS too much. He liked a few of their songs, but he mostly stayed away. The whole time, Ricky bobbed his head along to the music and I mouth the words. I didn’t really feel comfortable singing in front of Ricky even if he probably wouldn’t even be able to hear me over the music. For some reason, I was really glad that Ricky had offered to stay with me.