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A/N:
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Again sorry for typos :( I had no time to edit this omg
PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT LOTS IF YOURE STILL ACTIVE!
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- Mia x
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- Natalie -
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I wanted to burst into tears again, but decided against it.
After crying, and growing tired of crying, I cleaned myself up to the best of my ability.
Running my fingers through my hair a few times, I got my black clutch bag that clearly matched my dress, and my soul.
Tucking my phone into it, I sighed.
Heading out, and down the elevator, I went outside to find Zayn already in his car waiting in the parking lot.
"Ready?" He smiled softly at me, as I nodded silently.
"I'm sorry." Zayn shook his head. I'm willing to wait if it's going to take some time for you to open up to me. I just feel like there's something there, you know? Like there's still some ice not broken." He shrugged, turning on the radio.
The station on was an r&b, rap station that clearly did not match my music taste, but I grew used to it.
I guess that was another change I needed, some new music to listen to.
"Who's this rapping?" I changed the subject as he reversed the black sports camaro.
"G-Eazy." Zayn simply replied, seeming pretty educated in the genre itself.
"I think I've heard of him." I chuckled. "Clearly, I'm not educated in these things."
He noticed my attempt at yet again drawing away from any clue from my past, and I literally prayed he wouldn't bring it up again.
Zayn noticed the uneasiness in my tone, and in the expression on my face.
It wasn't hard to notice, now that I glanced at my face in the rear view mirror.
"Look, let's just have a good time tonight. Have you heard anything from Alex?"
I checked my phone again, only to see that she's been texting me for the past ten or so minutes.
How the hell did I not even notice?
About to type in a short reply, my phone started vibrating lively.
"Hello?" I picked it up quickly.
"Hey dude! What's up, you haven't been answering any of my texts! Were you dead?" She joked, laughing.
Yes.
"No! No, um.. I just.. I didn't hear my phone, I was in the bathroom getting ready."
"Oh, well okay then. I just wanted to ask how long until you get to the frathouse?"
"We're on the way, so maybe fifteen minutes?" I glanced at Zayn who nodded in approval.
"You are going to freak when you see who came by to party with us." She shrieked. "You'll cry!"
"Well, we'll just have to wait and see." I said in a blunt tone.
I seriously just finished crying, not long ago, Alex.
There was a silence on the other line, as I stared out my window.
"Is something.. I don't know, wrong? We were so excited and you seemed so happy these past few weeks. If something happened--"
"Nothing, I've just been having a really off day today. Like earlier, I burned my finger with a straightener." I shrugged.
The incident really happened, and it only pissed me off more, adding to the rest of my emotions.
"Well tell Zayn not to crash his car a second time, alright then? And sorry about the finger, I know the feeling." Alex joked, making me laugh faintly.
"Yeah, I'll tell him. And thanks babe. We'll see you in a bit, and happy birthday again." I babbled on, not really knowing what I was saying.
Not with this again..
These symptoms of post break-up.
Or at least, an assumed break-up.
Zayn was singing along to the song playing, I had no idea which though.
I tucked my phone back into my bag, Zayn's hand brushing my leg.
I froze, as he had slightly grazed it.
"I wish I could take all the pain away. I really wish I could, baby. Whatever it is." He said gently, weakly smiling at me.
But you can't.
No one can.
"Yeah, me too." I whispered softly on purpose so he couldn't hear me.
I just nodded in response at him.
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The rest of the drive was dead silent, and honestly I was perfectly fine with that.
I'd prefer silence than him trying to appease me every few seconds like a little, helpless girl.
I couldn't help but think..
What was Harry doing about now? Has he moved on, like I did?
Well, I sure as hell haven't moved on if I still think about him like this.
Maybe if I just let loose tonight, I'd remember how I went by living my life, surviving.
Hopefully.
I was yet again deep in the pit of my dark thoughts to even realize we were already pulled over next to the sidewalk.
To my right was the frathouse already booming with music and loud people.
"Natalie." Zayn waved a hand in my face as I looked over at him.
"You alright?" He chuckled, tilting his head in confusion.
"Yeah, god sorry. I keep zoning out." I faked a smile, waving him off.
He pressed a kiss to my temple as I rested a hand on his chest.
As he slowly drew away, he pecked me on the lips tentatively.
"Few minutes?" He whispered against my lips. "You know, to get you back down to earth."
I laughed, as he leaned closer to me.
He began to kiss down the skin on my neck and to my collar bones as I breathed out.
"A few minutes." I agreed in a murmur.
I doubt any of these people would care if we made out in the car, there were probably even more horrifying and scarring things in that frathouse, honestly.
Zayn kissed me heavily as I tried my best to climb over the seat.
My foot hit the steering wheel as I cursed. "Ow, Jesus Christ."
Nope, still not smooth at this.
Zayn laughed as I struggled to straddle his waist properly.
His hands went to my waist as I stared at him.
"I need this. I need this." I repeated aloud to myself. "I need you."
He smiled toothily at me, as I leaned in kissing him heavily.
Zayn mindlessly pinned me back onto the steering wheel as my lips parted.
My fingers tangled into his hair, way too in the moment to anticipate the next thing happening.
The horn beeped loud as I gasped, pulling away.
His eyes widened as I held a hand to my mouth.
"God, sorry." I gushed, about to bury my face in my hands.
He had caught my wrists, shaking his head.
"Look, it's okay. We should get going inside anyway. Alex is probably wondering where we are." He smiled, kissing me on the cheek once more
"And thank you for talking to the frat to let us use the place for Alex's birthday. It really means a lot." My hand cupped his face.
"Of course, anything I could do to help, I will do." He stared at me admiringly.
I felt sorry I couldn't do the same.
I slowly climbed right off him and back into the passenger seat with a deep sigh.
Without another word, we both had gotten out of the car and into the already party-vibed house.
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- Harry -
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I stood behind the counter, too busy staring down at the register to even realize my friends in front of me.
"Oh hey, what can I get for you guys?" I asked, glancing at the couple.
Louis and his girlfriend Danielle.
"Hi Harry! Good morning, and tall chai latte please." She grinned as I smiled friendly at her.
I punch it in and playfully cock my head at Louis. "And what about you chump?"
He playfully rolled his eyes, Danielle holding back a laugh.
"Don't ever say chump again." He sassed, pointing a finger. "I'll have just a regular coffee. Tall." He smirked, pulling out his leather wallet and picking through it.
"Put that away." I whispered cautiously, looking behind me if the manager was around.
Thankfully he wasn't.
"What?" Louis asked cluelessly.
"The drinks are on me now put the cash away." I chuckled.
"Oh! Oh are you sure mate?" He furrowed his eyebrows.
"It's fine." I insisted. "You two be cute somewhere else now. It'll take five minutes."
Dani giggled, scrunching her nose. "Come on Lou. And thanks Harry, you're the best."
I waved her off, with a slightly smug smirk on my face.
"And Harry. You and me, a talk after your shift alright?" He turned his head around, his arm wrapping around the petite girl's shoulders.
"Yeah." I nodded once.
Knowing Louis for awhile now, a long while, I knew it'd be another get together of some sort.
He was always all out with socializing, yet me on the other hand, liked to keep a small group of close friends.
Staring at how Danielle and Louis held hands, smiled at each other, and laughed together, made my eyes soften at the sight.
There was never a time I went without envying Louis.
How he got his happy ending, how he has Danielle to hold whenever he wants.
I wanted that.
But I just had to fall for a girl all the way across the country from me.
I didn't regret anything with Nat. My Nat.
I had no idea what she was like now, only because it's been awhile ever since we both just.. Stopped.
I assumed it was the end, she didn't want anything else to do with me, and if it was like that, I'd prefer her happy.
Even if I was suffering on the inside and out.
I knew we didn't agree, or set off in the right path..
She was so miserable, and it was unfair of me to go about my life here and leave her in misery.
So I did what was best for her, and it was to let her go for good.
I even deleted her number off my phone.
But no, not our conversations. I never really got myself to, no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't.
They were memories.
Memories like her name on my wrist, the photos we took in LA.
I couldn't just let them slip away.
But overall, I did her good.
I let her go, and she's happy.
Could she have been this happy without me? What if I never met her? What if she could have been happy for a longer time?
Just without me in the picture.
It was weird to think about it this way, but we wasted our time if we were going to end up with nothing at all.
Wow, that hurt like hell to think of.
I shook my head, realizing a man was already waiting for me to take his order.
"Sorry." I mumbled, glancing at him. "What can I get you, sir?"
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- Natalie -
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*****
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By the time we all gathered to sing Alex a drunken happy birthday, I was smashed.
I felt it.
I only had three shots of vodka, but I was already really loopy..Or was it four?
I couldn't even remember anymore.
Yeah, maybe five, now that I think of it.
"Shut up everyone, I have an announcement!" I shouted. "Alex is my best friend." I slurred, pointing a finger to the ceiling, and back to her. "And she deserves everything to night. You pricks better calm your anacondas down, and you snarky girls, avoid the cat fights." I giggled, leaning on Alex's shoulder.
"Happy 20th, you." I coo'd, booping her nose as she laughed so hard.
"Thank you, Natalie for that touching speech."
"No problem. Call me when you need a preacher." I whispered into her ear.
Pretty soon, Alex had blown out her candles and everyone had cheered loudly.
I didn't even realize Zayn was already right beside me.
"Oh hey there Mr. Malik.'' I pointed, booping his nose again as he grinned.
He seemed drunk. Was he drunk?
"I wrote a song called drunk." Zayn laughed randomly.
"I don't believe you." I gasped, staring at him as I set a hand on my chest.
We're all interrupted by a voice from behind us.
"Hey! Guys, sorry I was late, there was a delay with my flight and wow." He breathed out.
Wait.. I know that Irish accent from somewhere.
"Niall?" I gasped, turning around. "Oh my god, you were the surprise Alex was telling me about!" I stared at him with widened eyes.
"Hey Natalie! How are you, love? How have you been? I missed you." He pouted, pulling me into a bone crushing hug.
"I've been peachy." I shrugged, squeezing him as well. "How's it going in Mullingar?"
"Very.. Laid back, I should say." He chuckled. "Overall, it's been great."
We withdrew from the hug, Zayn staring at him in confusion.
"Should I know who you are?" Zayn asked, as Niall chuckled.
"Well, I don't know. Who are you?"
"I'm--"
"Where's Harry! I need to see the bloke, Natalie. Where is he?" He looked over at me as I froze.
Zayn tensed at the mention, this unreadable look on his face.
"Um.. Niall, look. He's gone, as in nada, no more." I slurred, leaning on Zayn as I shook my head.
"What? No..You're joking." His jaw dropped visibly, blue eyes soft. "Oh my god Nat, I'm so sorry. I--"
"Don't be. It was a mutual decision a long time ago." I went on, staring at him.
I could have sworn my eyes crossed for a second which probably wasn't a good sign.
"This is Zayn. This is my boyfriend." I motioned.
"Oh, oh well that's great. I'm Niall. A high school friend of Natalie's." He politely shook his hand as Zayn nodded.
"Nice meeting you mate."
"Well. Gotta run! I've got to greet the birthday girl before having a drink myself." Niall chuckled.
"Yeah, you do that." I breathed out, suddenly feeling like breaking down again.
It was just a mix of emotions I couldn't really decipher.
"Hey, are you alright? You look like you're going to faint Natalie. Do you want to sit down?" Zayn went over to me as I shook my head.
"G-give me a second. I just need some air." I gushed, shaking my head in a panic.
"Okay, alright. Just be careful."
I nodded once before I stumbled away from him and nearly had to crawl up the stairs because of my struggle to stand up straight.
I needed an empty room where I could think, and get away from this loud, crap music.
I'd rather be listening to Twenty One Pilots, Halsey.
No offense, but not freaking Fetty Wap.
I had to embarassingly barge into a few rooms where it was obviously taken by some couples, and I nearly gagged.
Instead, I rolled my eyes and moved to another door.
Once I found an empty bedroom, I sighed, walking in and locking the door behind me.
Finally. A quiet place.
Now I can be sad in my own misery.
For some reason, tears had streamed down my cheeks as I angrily cried.
Sitting at the end of the bed, I buried my face in my hands.
"Dammit, what is wrong with me." I whispered. "I love him. I loved Harry." I continued to talk to myself.
Sniffling, I thrusted my clutch bag away from me and buried my face in my hands.
I needed him. Not Zayn, not closure.
I didn't need anything else but Harry himself, and the fact we both let three months slip away, gave me a sense of deja vu to when we got at each other for almost a week and hadn't talked.
So how the hell did I even manage to survive three months?
As much as I hate to say this?
Zayn was what kept me distracted for as long as I had hoped.
I cried, whispering curse words as I had fumbled with my bag and pulled my phone out.
It was at 6%, only making me groan loudly.
God, my life was at 6%.
Everything, was at six percent.
I was drained as hell.
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- Harry -
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I was finally on my ten minute break as I shamelessly third wheeled with Danielle and Louis at a booth.
I was in the middle of this addicting game called Best Fiends and honestly, this was the only thing getting me through this week.
"What level are you on?" Louis asked, probably to make me feel less bad.
"Fourty one."
"Wow, that's amazing." He forcefully said, trying to sound interested.
"Yeah, lots can happen when I'm not caught up texting." I shrugged, as his eyes immediately softened.
They both silenced, staring at me, pitying me.
Once I continued with my game, they went back to their conversation.
I sighed, about to swipe up, before a message popped up at the top of my screen.
"What the.." I mumbled, furrowing my eyebrows as my phone buzzed.
I looked at the message, my heart dropping.
I didn't need to read a name to figure out who it was.
I knew.
"Oh my god." I said loudly in shock, everyone in near proximity looking over at me in curiosity.
But i didn't give a shit.
Tapping on it, I intently read it.
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Unknown : i love you too.
If it's not too late.
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A/N:
SHIT
CRAP JSKDKSKD
THIS CHAPTER IS NEARLY 3000 WORDS BY THE WAY, I FIGURED I OWED IT OMG
BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!
OH AND IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THE PLAYLIST FOR THIS BOOK ON SPOTIFY, ITS CALLED >
To: Harry - From: Natalie
EXACTLY LIKE THAT^, PLEASE GO SUSCRIBE TO IT ON SPOTIFY!
IT ALSO HAS SOME SONGS HARRY PUT ON THE IPOD THAT HE SENT TO NATALIE OMG ♡♡
oKOK BYE
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- Mia x
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