*A few days later
I tiptoed quietly out of the tent, making sure not to wake up my snoring roommates. A small cricket's chirp stopped me in my tracks. I winced as I turned to the satchel swung over my side. "Shhh" I warned Cri-Kee.
"Your selfish, you know that? Ain't nobody tryna' go anywhere at this time of night!"
Well, ain't nobody said you had to go with me. I'm just going to visit Khan.
"Right, cause we all know how well that went last time."
I can handle myself Mushu-
"Just shushhhhh." He held his finger to his lips. "I have a headache the size of Poe's appetite. I need silence."
I rolled my eyes as I pulled the flap of the tent back. I strolled down the path that led to the horse stables, humming silently to myself. Soon, I could see the large wooden structure come into view. It was about 4 rows of separate compartments that each held a magnificent stallion. My own black beauty was kept in the very middle. He whinnied when he saw me approaching him, and I reached out to touch his nose. Smoothing down his hair, I held him close to me, rubbing my cheek against him. I closed my eyes and imagined I was back on my own farm.
But suddenly, I heard a strange noise coming from another direction. I looked all around me, trying to find where it was coming from.
"What is that?"
I don't know. Ima check the next row.
I peeked around the corner and saw a slumped over Shang, sitting on the wire fence that gated the stables and reading a stack of papers. He held a bottle of some sort of alcohol in one of his hands, which he brought to his swollen lips slowly. He took a big swig, and some of it drizzled out the side of his mouth. He sniffed again, wiping his nose.
"Mulan, you better not!"
Even from here, I could see the tears running down his face. His eyes were probably puffy and red. He was clearly under the influence.
"Your not supposed to be out here! And he's probably drunk out of his mind, who knows what he could do!"
He threw the papers to the ground and finally His head dropped down to his hands. I saw his body shaking violently as he wept. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him. To comfort him.
"Don't even think about it!"
Too late.
I awkwardly shuffled into the middle of the isle and, of course, nosily knock over a bucket of water. Shang was so startled by the sound that he fell off the fence with a loud crash. Out of instinct I formed a large O with my lips and stopped in my tracks. He glared at me from the ground and stumbled to his feet. "What are you doing here? It's way past c-curfew!"
He stumbled forward but I caught him before he could fall flat on his face. Slowly, I sat him down on the ground. "I couldn't sleep well, my apologies sir." I dared myself to look him in the eyes for once. He looked so broken and vulnerable, which was very unsettling to me. I was always used to looking up at him when I talked.
He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, attempting to dry away his tears. "I should kill you with my bare hands. No one should ever live to tell there comrades that they saw there own General... crying."
"Well...you won't have to worry about that cause I won't tell anyone." I lingered awkwardly above him, deciding whether or not it would be disrespectful to sit down beside him.
He looked up at me for a second, an fiery anger in his eyes, then suddenly the anger turned into wells overflowing with sad tears. He buried his face in his arms and began wailing again. "Don't look at me! Leave me!" He commanded.
Oh boy. I thought to myself. Well I had no other choice now. I HAVE to sit down.
"You know I can't do that sir."
"Thats an order private."
"Im sorry, I can't leave you. Mentally you are unstable; sad, angry," I held up the bottle of beer that was thrown to the ground " drunk."
He said nothing, but snatched the bottle from me.
My eyes curiously drifted to all the pieces of paper that scattered the ground. I scrambled to pick them all up before they flew away in the wind, thinking they were somewhat important to him. "They're letters from my mother."
Looks like I was right. I looked down at the crumbled paper with ink that was smudged all over it. "Your mother has beautiful handwriting." I mused.
"Had..."he added sadly. "She had beautiful handwriting."
My mouth hung low. "Im so sorry sir-"
He raised his hand. "Don't. I don't want your pity. I didn't come here to avoid pity from my colleges to just get it from you."
"I...I don't pity you sir." I had to restrain myself from pulling him into a hug. With his broad shoulders slouched down and his head hanging low, he looked like a big handsome teddy bear. I wanted to smooth the few stray hairs out of his face and back into his sloppy ponytail.
"Oh right." He sniffed. "You think I deserve this don't you? Well, your right. She was a wonderful mother and I took her love for granted. And now she's gone." He cried a little more. "Im not mad that she left me or anything, I'm mad at myself." He thrusted a paper towards me and I took it in my hands.
....Shang, the doctors still have not given me a specific name for my disease. I fear I will not survive to see you and your father's return from war. Please know that I love you, and will watch over you both when I pass into the second life. I know you are angry with me and feel as though I have always wanted to control your life, but I pray you will find it in your heart to forgive me one day. I everything I have done (although I'm not proud of it) was for your good.
I hoped I might be able to make amends with my only son before I pass, but seeing that you have not responded to any of my letters, I doubt my wish will come true.
Just remember that I love you Shang. Always have, and always will. And I pray that you and your father will return home safely. Fair well, my son.
Love, Mother.
I raised a hand to my mouth to cover my gasp, but realized how feminine that must have looked and put it back down.
"That was the last one she wrote." He took another drink of beer. "She sent me over 20 letters in four months, and I didn't read a single one of them."
"I know its none of my business, but what happened between you two?"
He grabbed the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tight. All that alcohol must be finally catching up to him." Me and her have always had our differences in the past. Usually we would get over them. But most recently, she arranged for me to get married without me knowing."
My eyes grew wide. "Really?"
"Insane, right? And the worse part is she expected me to be grateful for it. I never truly forgave her for what she did, but now I regret holding it against her. The only thing I'm thankful for is that she wasn't brutally murdered like my---" he stopped suddenly, telling me that he was about to reveal information I was not supposed to know.
"W-who sir?" I presses on. He brought the beer back to his lips, pretending to not have heard my question.
We were silent for quite some time before I decided to break the silence. I wrapped my arms around my knees, feeling a little chilly. "So...when you get back home, are you gonna do it?" I couldn't stop myself from asking him.
He sniffed. "Do what?"
"Marry her."
"Who?" He rubbed the side of his head, probably trying to soothe his headache.
I rolled my eyes. "The lady your arranged to marry."
"Ohhhh. No." he shook his head lazily. "Her father married her off to someone else."
He hiccuped and began to lean down till his head was resting fully on my lap. "And besides, her hips were too small to have children anyway."
"Wh-what are you doing." I shifted so I could move his head off my chest, but he wrapped his arms around my waist to stop me. If someone see's us like this, they were SURE to get the wrong idea.
"Stop moving." He grumbled, burrowing his face further into my lap.
"Shang...General Shang...if you are tired, we should start heading back to your own tent."
But it was too late, he was already fast asleep. My own General was right here, snoring away on my lap. Hold fast to my waist as if I were a stuffed animal. Looking down at his still face, he almost looked like a little boy who cried his self to sleep. I moved the hair that was plastered to his forehead with his sweat off his face. I had a strong urge to stay with him the whole night, held in his arms, but I ignored it.
I broke free of his strong embrace, and headed back for my tent, but not before saying goodnight to Khan. I pray to the ancestors that he will forget everything that happened. He would be devastated to know that he shared such personal things with me, and the last thing I want to is cause him more heartache.
Even so, I also prayed to the ancestors that I would NEVER forget anything that happened, because tonight has been by far the most fun I've had since I've been here.