NOT EDITED
In the morning light
Watch my roots take flight
Watch me fall above
Like a viscous dove
They don't seem to come, who can blame them?
They never seemed to catch my eye, but I never wondered why
I won't fall asleep.
I won't fall asleep.
(Tiptoe - Imagine Dragons)
Paralyzed, I stare down at the pictures. What? How? My neck strap? I thought ... Drew ...
That son of a bitch.
But, his picture's here, too! the small voice in the back of my head argued. And he wasn't here ... you couldn't hear the rain over the line, could'ya? He was listening to Fall Out Boy.
He could've gotten one for his gang members to do it.
He's not in a gang.
Shut the hell up.
I shudder, looking down at the handwriting. It's ... almost not human. Like a claw was dipped in black ink and was forced to drag across paper.
I don't realise I'm crying until a wet spot appears on the yellow sticky note. I wipe at my cheeks furiously; haven't I done enough crying today?
I sniffle, curling up into a ball. What's going on? My mind can't comprehend.
They know everything. I found a file from my school with everything about me.
Dylan Elizabeth Scott
12.14.95
Height: 5'4
Wt (lbs.): 108
Extra Curricular: Photography
I scan the paper once more before lying on the floor, petrified. Why? Why me? Why not any of the other pretty - faced sluts Drew bangs?
The rain beats against my rooftop, matching my swift heartbeat. The rhythm is fast, scared. I sob harshly, tears running down my face in large, warm drops.
A clap of thunder shakes the house. I welcome the rain - it matches my emotion. I shake, squeezing my eyes shut.
You know that sudden truck of fucking terror when you realise; 'I'm about to get fucking murdered and potentially raped?'
Okay, let's go with something more realistic.
That one moment, after jumping off the cliff into the water thousands of times, when you think 'I could die', and stop. When you're about to go on your first roller coaster with a loop and decide, at the very last moment, 'I'm going to murder my friends who forced me on this'. Or, that small gap between when you trip and hit the ground, when you realise, 'this is going to hurt'.
That's what I'm experiencing. It's the terror of death and giving birth all in one.
Okay, maybe not the second one so much.
How could my life go to shit in one month? How did I get from the girl blushing at sexual innuendos to the girl who's being stalked?
I sob, loudly. This is irrational; why am I so scared? I should not be so ... terrified of something like this.
Wait, it's completely rational.
I swallow back the rest of my tears, silently writing in discomfort. Standing, my knees are weak. I need to shower.
Jogging to my bathroom, I strip down and step into the tub. The spray of water is warm and calming, I sigh and let the tension get massaged away by the water. The steam is humid, uncomfortable, but it's somehow helping.
Lathering soap into my hair, I sigh again. It can't be that bad, can it?
Wait. Shit. It is that bad.
I groan, dropping my head back.
Rinsing my hair, I shut off the water and move the curtain, half expecting the guy from Psycho to be there.
Finding no one, I take a towel that's hanging on the rings by the shower and wrap myself in it.
Water dripping off my body, I pad to my room, sliding open my pyjama drawer open noisily. Shrugging on an over-sized t shirt and sweat pants, I twist my damp hair back into a pony tail and walk downstairs.
I take my phone from the floor, needing someone to talk to. The house is too empty, too quiet.
To: Noel
Come over?
Not a second later, she replies.
At Oliver's house ... Drew's here. Want all of us?
My better judgment gets to me.
No. Too much rain.
I turn off my phone, leaning back into my chair. Tonight is going to be a long night.
Funnily enough, I look forward to school in the morning.
***
"You look like shit," Noel comments as I slide into her car.
"I didn't get enough sleep," I yawn. She shrugs, starting the car.
She begins to drive to school, the car silent. Almost too silent.
Sucking in a tight breath, I lean against the headrest and close my eyes. Seconds later, the car stops, and I open my eyes.
It's now or never, tell her, tell her.
I gulp. "Noel-"
"So you won't believe it, this Louis Vuitton bag was on sale, and I-"
"Noel-"
"So wanted it, and it was like ... never mind," she grins. "You're bored."
"N-"
"So Drew was talking about you yesterday," she pipes up, and, just like that, all coherent thought vanishes.
"What? Details, woman, details!" I cry out, shaking her shoulders.
"Okay, we were taking shots - don't look at me like that," she chastises when I give her a disapproving look. "And he had a bit too much, and..." She trails off, purposely leaving me in suspense.
"You bitch! Carry on," I move my hand in a circling motion for her to go on.
"Okay, and he started talking about your eyes - total swoon moment, might I add," she winks. I bite my lip to keep from smiling like an idiot. "He was like, 'her eyes are really pretty, I like looking into them a lot'," she grins again. "And he started on about how much of a rocking body you have," she shrugs. "I've seen it, nothing special."
"Oh, hush."
A/N:
Soooooo sorry! This took forever. I mean, three re - writes, four days of, 'I'm a disgrace to all writers', and this still didn't turn out well.
So story time!
My ... somewhat friend (we have a complicated relationship), named ... we'll just call him Daniel for right now. Same first initial, right?
So usually, we HATE THE SHIT out of each other, so today surprised me.
I like bothering him, so I went up to where he was sitting, and sat down. I can't tell you what, went down, this chapter would be so long ... but we had a heart-to-heart.
Some back story: He's my best friend's age, two years older than me, and I'm his younger brother's girl best friend. So yeah. We all walk to school together, so...
Super nervous about tomorrow morning.
Until next time,
~Jayy