September 24th
Jake had dropped me off at school with a cheery wave. Of course, this earnt confused looks as I made my way into school, keeping my bag hoisted on my shoulder as I made a beeline for my Form group.
Of course, I wasn't going to be granted peace this morning.
A hand gripped the collar of my shirt and I was pushed against a wall, my back pressing against the empty fire extinguisher holder, due to the idiots in the younger years spraying it for fun.
"So, who cares enough about you then, freak?"
"My brother." I muttered and Casey laughed.
"Like he'd stick around. I bet he's just putting on a face to deal with you so you won't get hurt," The grin on her face was one which could match any evil villain. "Then again, it's not like you're a stranger to pain. How are the cuts, you freak?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." I muttered, glaring at her.
"Did Everett not leave a nice reminder in your skin? Looks like he'll have to catch up with you then." Without another word, she let go of me, pulling a face and walking away. I just let out a shakey breath as I hoisted my back up on my shoulder and continued to form, ignoring the stares that I recieved on a daily basis.
A lot of people in my year suffered with family problems, but I was the only one who didn't have one. My parents had left me on the doorstep of the orphanage and that was that. No contact, no nothing.
The day passed by quietly. Last lesson after lunch was English and I didn't know whether I was looking forward to it or not.
As I reached the classroom, I realised that I was the first in, so I took the letter from my bag and sat down at my desk before pulling my book out as well. Miss Lorrell walked in minutes later, smiling at me briefly before she set things up for the lesson.
Everyone else started arriving and I just ignored the stares as the class started to settle down.
Because I had a desk to myself and I was at the back in nearly every lesson, it meant that I was able to work without distractions.
It also meant that Casey couldn't get to me without being caught by a teacher.
As the lesson started, I watched Miss Lorrell set up our objectives and the class began talking amongst each other whilst we were waiting.
"Right." Her voice caused the class to fall silent and I let my attention snap to her. "First off, I'm going to collect your letters. They'll be sent off after school. And today, we're starting on Romeo and Juliet."
The girls whispered excitedly as the guys groaned.
I just let my head rest on my arms as I sighed.
As she came around the room to collect our letters, I handed hers mine and she smiled somewhat at me as she went back to her desk placing the letters in her draw.
As the lesson went on, we copied down the lines that people would be reciting. We all knew that Casey would go for Juliet. And all the guys would go for Romeo just to be able to hold her hand.
It was actually quite sad.
"Charlia, I want a word after class." Miss Lorrell spoke without looking up from the books that she seemed to be marking. A lot of the class sniggered and whispered things about how I was in trouble or how I was going to be taken off this project.
I ignored it all and got on with my work.
About ten minutes before school ended, I felt a paper ball hit the side of my head and I looked up from my work. Amazingly, everyone was still working on the lines, but then again, no one dared to mess around in Miss Lorrell's class.
She wasn't strict to a point where it took the fun out of the lesson, but she was firm. And people just knew not to mess with her because you don't want to face her wrath when she's angry.
I looked down to the paper ball which was sitting on my desk, all crumpled up. I noticed on one part there was some ink, so I slowly opened it up, keeping it at silent as possible.
'Don't run. You've got an appointment after school.'
I couldn't help but gulping.
I felt the panic flood through me as I crumpled the paper up again, my hands shaking as I tried to return to my work.
But I couldn't focus.
Jake was going to ask questions. He was going to storm into the school. She'd get hauled in, her mother would get her out of the problem, I'd get it worse.
I could never win. It was a vicious cycle.
Once the bell went, the class packed away. I took my time with packing my things away, drawing it out as long as possible.
I didn't want to leave here.
"So, Charlia." My head snapped up to Miss Lorrell who had left her desk and she was moving towards me. I waited silently until she'd taken a seat on the desk in front of mine. She guestured to my own desk. "Sit, please."
I did as she requested.
"So, what's up?"
"Well, I want to ask you a few things. Is that okay?"
"Sure."
"Why does Casey continue to throw paper balls at you in some lessons?" I felt the answer get stuck in my throat. I didn't know what to say.
"I, I don't know."
"Are you scared of the repercussions?" Her voice was softer than I'd ever heard. I just nodded my head, my eyes looking down to my hands in my lap. "You don't have to be." My head snapped up.
"But I can't win. If I complain to the school, she gets hauled in and all she has to do is phone Mommy dearest who will get her out of any situation." I snapped. My eyes widened as my hands covered my mouth in shock. "I'm so sorry." I mumbled behind my hands and she simply smiled.
"Don't worry. And she does seem to have a habit of calling her mother in. So I've requested that I deal wth her mother, seeing as she's in my tutor group."
"But, she'll just get me after school."
"You don't walk home, correct?"
"No, but in a month I'll be walking three days a week." I mumbled, my eyes avoiding her gaze.
"How come?" I blinked in shock at her soft and caring tone. Was she the same teacher that my whole English class was afraid of?
"Because Jake is going back to University. He lives on campus during the week and home for weekends."
"By home, I assume that you mean at-"
"The orphanage, yes." I cut her off. I could feel the tears well up. I hated talking about it with the teachers.
"I wish there was something that I could do. But I will be having a word with Casey's mother. Is Jake meeting you after school today?" I nodded my head. "Good. Also, I think you of all people will benefit from the letter project. I have spoken to Rosie and she's agreed to let you correspond without the school inbetween. She feels you're sensible enough to talk to her if anything inappropriate is shared with you." At this, my cheeks turned a light shade of pink as I nodded my head.
"Thank you." I murmured.
"I just want you to at least enjoy the last few months of your high school years. I understand how you feel." I looked at her in doubt.
I really did doubt that people knew how I felt.
"How?" I didn't mean to sound so rude, but how could anyone understand? How could anyone truly know the loneliness I suffered on a daily basis?
"I lost my parents at a young age. I was put into the system and I never left until I got into University." I binked in shock.
"Wait, so you're-"
"Just like you." I couldn't help it. I smiled. "It's why I'm trying to help you. All those times I pushed you, it was because I knew you could do better."
I finally understood why she was so sharp with me. Why she always demanded my attention when she let other kids get away with a lot.
She wanted me to be the best that I could be.
She was the first person outside of the home to even show any care towards me.
"Thank you. That honestly means more than you'd probably ever know."
"Hey, all is not lost. Now, I think you should get going. I assume Jake would be getting worried around about now?" I laughed and nodded my head.
"Cheers miss."
"No problem. You'll be getting your letter back when your pen pal replies. Keep a diary of when you get a letter and when you send a letter. Just so I know, 'kay?" I nodded my head and left the classroom.
I hadn't even made to the main corridor before I felt a hand grip my hair and I let out a yelp.
"You made me waste so much time." I stiffened automatically. Everett's voice was the kind which could be enticing or put the thrill of fear in you.
He was the one person I feared.
"Sorry." I whispered and he just laughed as he pulled me into the cleaners cuboard. No one ever actually used this place. It was neary empty and if you searched in the right places, you'd find condoms and condom wrappers.
You'd also find blood stains.
Pushing my top up, I fought back the shudder as the tip of the blade traced my stomach lightly.
"Looks like I'm going to be making sure that this message sinks in." I bit my bottom lip as the blade pierced my skin and the tears burned in my eyes.
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