I want to go home. I want to be with my family, in the comfort of my own home, and spend as much time with Alton as I could. I can see the others want to go back home also, and I am willing to die just to be able to see my family.
Today Cason asked if I could go with him to look for the markers in the ground and at least try Trace's first escape plan. Cason collected rocks in the past week for the plan and I have to put them up against the markers and set the alarm off. I do not know why Cason asked me because I rather be in the kitchen cooking or taking inventory. Then again, cooking makes me sick and not want to eat and now Hadley is cooking.
Everything is changing at a rapid rate.
It messes with my brain.
I got dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and boots. I put a light jacket on and went downstairs to the hall, where Cason was putting a gun in the back of his pants.
"Hey," I tapped Cason on the upper arm. He grinned and gave me a utility knife. He tilted his head towards the front door and began to walk out of the house first. I followed.
We then began to walk into the forest. The tree tops created a canopy over our heads and made only small sunrays squeak through and give light to us. There were all sorts of sounds out here like toads croaking, birds chirping, and the occasional movement from behind.
Cason was about 500 feet ahead of me. He wasn't paying attention to the forest, he's focused on getting to the markers and start planning the escape. I ran to him and walked beside him.
"So," I began. Cason quickly glanced over at me. "Why did you ask me to come with you and not Hadley?"
"You need to get out of that kitchen and basement." I laughed and shook my head. "You're starting up again, Anya. I can see you falling behind and we don't need another incident like before with you. We are already down two people and can't be down three." I sighed and looked at the forest floor. "I'm recreating the rules also."
"What?!" I yelled and stopped. He continued walking then stopped and stared back at me. "What's wrong with the rules we have now? Who made you in charge of the house also?"
"Number one, no one was ever in charge," he pointed his pointer finger at me. "You assumed it was you because of all the medical stuff you know. Number two, I'm the only sane one right now and can handle whatever could happen. I'm the man of the house now, not Trace, he can't even walk, and number three, we need different rules now that two people can't do anything, and it means change of chores."
"I'm still going to cook. You can't stop me," I said while I walked past him and to the markers.
"Anya!" He yelled and ran after me. "You need a change, we all do, and I want someone to watch Locklyn because she is getting close to labor and I don't want her alone. Change is good." I took a deep breath, held it in, and allowed my face to fill with anger. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, my nostrils flaring, and my eyes becoming dark from the inner demons attacking my mind.
"No!" I yelled and turned on my heels to face him. "Change isn't good! It means everything will be different and you have to alter yourself to fit the changes. It isn't always good, Cason. Change is scary. It causes you to sit and actually have to listen to your emotions and then try and figure out how to survive." I was waving my arms around.
Change is scary to me because after Armin died, I had to get used to the quietness of the car rides home afterschool, how the house was stuck in a standstill, and everyone saying sorry and hoping he is in a better place rather than suffering, really quick. Cason should understand because he is having children and has to change from being a normal eighteen-year-old to a father of two or three. He has responsibilities now. He can't lack and go off to a party when things get too tough. Change isn't good.
"Anya?" Cason was more shocked I yelled than what I really said. "Are you okay? You just flipped, I've never seen you like that before."
"No, I'm not okay! You have to change because you are having children. No more being the eighteen-year-old boy you were back home. You have responsibilities to take care of now. You can't party, you can't leave, you can't do anything anymore." He stepped back and shook his head. Tears were filling the rims of his eyes. "You think it's a good thing when while the whole time we were here our lives have been changing in front of us. And did it ever cross your mind that maybe it's killing us instead of keeping us alive. Look at Locklyn and how she has to change her whole body and appearance for the babies inside of her. Or Trace, who has to adjust to new ways of walking and change the idea of ever playing baseball again. Or Hadley and how her body needs to change to the stress and restlessness she keeps having and the anxiety attacks that come along. Change isn't good and it never will be!" I was yelling. I felt water on my face and looked to the sky to see the sun still out. It wasn't raining. Why was my face wet? I touched my eyes and realized I was crying and the wetness are my tears falling.
"You don't like change?" I shook my head and continued having the tears fall down my face and hit my shirt. "Why? Some change is good and some is bad. It just works like that and we can't do anything about it. Change happens everyday; the way the sun shines, the earth turns, even tomorrow. We can't change what we don't know will happen yet. Life does that to us and makes it unpredictable. If I knew I was going to be a father at eighteen, I wouldn't have been the person I was back home, I would have been the complete opposite. Now I'm going to have a family to take care of and that includes Locklyn being my side. What is happening to me is a good change and is making me into a better person than before. I won't leave my children, I won't leave Locklyn to take care of them, and I won't let my friends suffer with the aftermath of this cabin alone. I will be there for all of you."
"Cason, you don't understand my point of view. I had to change and make myself look like I was fine when really I was dying inside. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to die so I can be with my brother. Change isn't good with me and I can't even get used to the fact I'm dating Trace." My eyes widened when I said that.
"What?" Cason was glaring at me and took a step forward. "You don't like dating Trace?"
"No! I never said that. I have to get used to it. I've never had a boyfriend before, it's all new to me. After Armin died I just thought everyone would look at me and feel bad my twin brother died a tragic death and wouldn't want to date me. I am still dealing with his death and it may never go away. I'm happy to be dating Trace, it's just I have to get used to it and not look at him like he's dating me out of pity, he is actually the only one who understands why I may never get over Armin's death."
"We all understand, Anya." Cason came over and hugged me. "We were all there and we will all be here for Alton and you. Alton would come to me for girl advice and training for the soccer team. I get he was closer with Trace, but I made sure no one picked on him in school after Armin's death."
"You did?" I let go of the embrace and wiped my eyes. "I thought Trace was the only one who made sure Alton was okay."
Cason giggled, "No we all made sure he was okay. Locklyn put money on his account for food for the rest of high school because she was nervous when he began skipping lunch and Hadley helped him with his homework and some tutoring. This was all happening behind your back because we were afraid of how you would act if you knew what we doing."
"You four are the best. I really appreciate all that you did for Alton and I after Armin's death. Now I can see why we will be friends forever." Cason smiled widely.
"Of course." We continued to walk into the forest some more and Cason kept looking at the ground for the markers.
"So, what are the new rules going to be?" I asked while he was surveying the area for the markers. He was talking to himself and looked confused. "Cason?" He was spinning around in circles staring at the ground. He stopped, stared, and soon shook his head. "What's wrong, Cason?"
"We passed the markers," he pointed to the ground and we saw many red flashing lights sticking out of the ground. "Shit!" He took hold of my wrist and pulled me along with him while he ran back into the perimeter.
When we were passing the markers I felt a zap in my hips. I screamed and fell to the ground. I turned to my stomach, screamed and cried into the grass, and clutched my hips with my left arm.
"Anya!" Cason stopped and came over to me. "Anya, what hurts?" I screamed and cried while my hips burned and my thighs became numb. "Anya, talk to me!" he yelled and turned me over. He lifted my shirt just to show my lower stomach area. He gasped and stared at my stomach.
"It burns!" I yelled and cried. He was too quiet and it was scaring me some more. "Cason!" he shook his head and wiped his eyes. "Help me," I whispered and took a hold of his arm. He nodded, stood up, and then picked me up off the ground and cradled me while he walked back to the house.
My mind was blank, nothing going through it. My eyelids became heavy, I was going in and out of consciousness. My hips tingled, making me worry I have damage on the inside.
Cason walked into the house through the front door and put me lightly on the couch across from Trace and next to Locklyn. I was breathing heavily and sweating, but shivering because of how cold I was from sweating.
"Anya?" Trace sat up on the other couch and stared over at me. "What happened to her?" He yelled and stood up. He made a noise through his teeth and came over to the other couch with the crutches. He sat down on the coffee table, dropped the crutches, and took my hand. "Anya, what happened to you?"
I took a deep breath and moved my hand away from lower stomach. he gasped, covered his mouth, and looked up at Cason standing next to Locklyn.
"What happened out there, Cason?" Locklyn asked. Soon Hadley came into the living room and covered her mouth when she saw me. She looked at everyone around me. "Cason, answer my question!" Locklyn grew impatient.
"We walked past the markers and I pulled her back into the perimeter. When we passed the markers in the ground, she just fell and her hips are bright red with burn marks on her sides."
"I was electrocuted. Something zapped me when I came back into the perimeter. I am guessing it was for animals because it was strong, especially since it gave me burns."
"This is crazy!" Trace yelled. "We need to get out of here now! No more waiting. Everyone got hurt besides Cason and what if he has the worst injury." Locklyn gasped and shook her head. "We need to go home right now! This is out of control." Soon someone banged the front door in and the guy in the suit and tie and two police officers were standing there dressed in bulletproof attire.
"Who passed the markers?" the guy who was dressed in the suit and tie seven months ago, yelled, his voice echoing and booming throughout the house. "Who passed the markers and ran back in?"
We were quiet and the police officers searched the house. He was waiting and soon Cason bowed his head and raised his hand. I raised my hand thirty seconds after Cason.
"You two come with me." He motioned for us to get closer to him. I couldn't move because my legs were numb from the zap I took.
"I can't move. My legs are numb."
"Because you got zapped from the invisible animal detectors. You will be numb for a good week." My eyes widened. "Listen, we are not going to detain you for we have important matters back in New York, but if you cross them one more time, that's it, no warning, you are getting arrested and put in a jail cell."
"When can we leave?" Cason asked. "We've been here for seven months, when can we go home?"
"When the trial is over and they find the terrorists."
"It technically wasn't a terrorist attack if the threat was only towards Senator Quinn," Locklyn said. "Where was the threat to the country? Maybe you should call it a murder instead of a terrorist attack. It isn't scary to us anymore."
"Smart one." He pointed at Locklyn. "Let's go." The three men went towards the front door. "Oh, and the president is always watching now." He smiled and left, leaving the door as it is, broken.
We looked at each other and wondered what that meant. Are there really cameras here? They lied to us! They said there were no cameras and now look at it.
"I guess I'll fix the door," Cason sighed and went into the hall closet and got the tools out. He fixed the door and closed and locked it. He came back and began to rub Locklyn's shoulders from behind the recliner. She moaned and smiled while her eyes were closed. "You feeling okay, Anya?" he asked, his voice shaking a bit. "Do you need anything?"
"Can I have an ice pack to put on my lower stomach? It's burning." Cason nodded, left, and came back with the ice pack wrapped in a paper towel.
"I want everyone to listen to me," Cason said while standing in front of the fireplace. We all looked at him. "I'm setting some new rules. Since we are down a couple people, I want to make new rules and I am now the head of the house, not Anya." We nodded. "So, Anya, after you feel better, I don't want you cooking, I want Trace to cook."
"Dude, no!" Trace yelled. "I can't cook."
"Do you want to fish?" Trace's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Hadley, I want you to fish because I can't be hunting and fishing at the same time." She nodded. "Anya, you are doing laundry and making Locklyn fold and sort it." Lock and I nodded. "Now, since Lock is getting close to labor, I want someone to directly be assigned to help her for the day. I made up a list and we will each take turns to help her in any way. The babies are going to be here very soon and if I am hunting when she goes into labor, I want Hadley to come look for me in the forest."
"Why me?" she asked.
"Because you did indoor and outdoor track throughout high school. Trace can't walk and now Anya is hurt, so you are my only other option." She sighed and didn't respond to his choice. "Here are your assigned days and on that day you don't have to do your other chores. On Mondays and Thursdays, Trace will be helping Lock. On Wednesdays and Fridays, Hadley will help her. On Tuesdays and Saturdays, Anya will be helping Lock. I get Sundays and the only reason why I have one day is because I'm going to hunt every other day and will be with Lock at night. You just have to help her until dinner and then I will take over. I will try and make up a plan for when the babies do arrive in the next month."
"I really don't need their help, babe." Locklyn rubbed her stomach. "I'm fine."
"No, you do need their help because you are huge and can go into labor at any minute. You can't even stand up without me helping you." She nodded. "It's for the best, baby." She smiled at Cason.
It was quiet after Cason set the new rules. I think a change of rules might be good for the cabin and for me. I don't want to starve myself again and I see myself going back into those habits. It's not healthy. I know it's not, but it's a mental thing and I feel like it is okay to starve myself. It's not and I am realizing it now.
After the damage has been done.