Pic of Ian >>
-- Ali's POV --
I thought I was dreaming.
“Ali,” he breathed, and his voice was like music to my ears. My heart did a somersault. How was it possible that, after two years, he could still have such an effect on me?
Shock froze my muscles, causing me to stay rooted to the spot. I must’ve looked like somebody hit pause on me. I didn’t even blink.
"Ali,–" he repeated, this time with worry in his voice. It seemed to snap me out of my daze. "Are you–"
“What are you doing here?” I almost shouted, surprise clear in my voice. “W-what... how... you... why... huh?”
He let out a low chuckle and held out the flowers. Lilies, my favourite. He remembered?
I shoved them away roughly, glaring. “I don’t want to see you.”
“But –“
I probably should have just slammed the door in his face. You should never really let an ex back into your life, unless they’re really over you – which he was not. But I couldn’t, because even I had to admit there was still something there with Ian. Nothing compared to what I felt for Dennis, but something. That something would probably never disappear.
“Can I, uh, come in?” he asked, trying to side-step me.
“No,” I responded coldly, blocking his way with a scowl. “You will leave, and we will not see each other again.”
“Take the flowers,” he said, thrusting them into my hands before I could object. I staggered slightly from the force and, when I regained my balance, I threw them back in his face.
“No,” I said again. I shook my head with a sigh. “Please can you just leave? I don’t want you here.”
“I want you to take me back,” he said, clasping both my hands in his. His touch sent a jolt through me and a chill went down my spine. Why was I feeling like this? I should be immune to his touch. “I still love you, Ali. I never stopped.”
Disgusted, I yanked my hands away. “You can’t just walk back into my life,” I cried, “and expect me to let you! Leave! Now!”
“Please, give me five minutes,” he said, a sad smile on his lips. His eyes were filled with a longing and I, being an idiot and a softie, caved.
“Okay,” I replied, “five minutes. No more.”
He stepped in gratefully and I saw his eyes sweep the apartment. It was the same apartment him and I had lived in two years ago, the same apartment where he had told me about him and Summer. We had made major changes since he left like getting new furniture, painting the walls and just arranging things differently. It looked like a whole new place – which was my intention.
Ian stuffed his hands in his pockets and strolled around the apartment. “Wow, this place has changed,” he said, reading my thoughts.
“That was the whole idea,” I said in a hard voice. “Now, enough with the chitchat. Say what you want to say and get the fuck out.”
He flinched at my tone. “I want to do whatever I can to get you back.”
“That will never happen,” I said, sauntering over to the couch and plopping down. Ian sat next to me, sitting awfully close to me.
“I am so sorry,” he said quickly, raking a hand through his tousled brown hair. “Cheating on you was the biggest mistake of my life.”
I sighed, angrily. “It’s been two years. I’ve moved on, so should you.”
“I can’t!” he whispered and then turned so that he was facing me. “I’ve tried moving on, but I can’t.”
When he inched even closer, I bolted to my feet, walking quickly away from the couch.
“That’s not my problem,” I said simply.
Ian looked hurt. “Summer was a mistake. I love you, Ali. I want you back. I need you back.” He stood up and stepped towards me, gripping my shoulders tightly. “Why can’t you understand?”
I scowled, shaking off his hands. “Please get this into your head. We. Are. Over.” My voice was acidic as I told him this and he cringed.
“I think you’re the one.”
I threw my head back and laughed. “No,” I said, “we’re not soul-mates. We might’ve been if you hadn’t cheated on me with my sister, but you did, okay?”
“But –”
“I don’t love you!” I shrieked, clenching my fists and stomping my foot on the ground like a stubborn child. “I hate you! You are a fucking jerk who broke my heart! Nothing will ever happen between us again because I will never learn to trust you and I have moved on! Okay? I’m over you! Now, please, get out of my apartment and out of my life – because you are not wanted here!”
He blinked at my sudden outburst and I breathed out heavily, surprised at myself for those cruel words.
Something died inside Ian’s leaf-green eyes when I uttered those words. His shoulders sagged and suddenly, he was sobbing. I knew Ian, and I knew when he was lying, and this time he wasn’t. Those were real tears on his face, just like the tears from two years ago. And I felt exactly the same as the last time he had broken down in front of me. Uneasiness.
He sunk to the floor and bawled like a baby and all I could do was stand there. Even I could feel tears threatening to spill over, but I was careful to hold them back. No way was I shedding a tear over him.
At that moment, I realised something. I didn’t hate Ian. I didn’t love him either, but the hatred seemed to have evaporated in those last few minutes. If I was honest, I probably never hated him. Maybe at the start, but after that, I just hated what he did – not him. Because you never stop loving someone, not completely. But did I love him? Did I want to have him back in my life? Figuring out the answer was tough, and I couldn’t do it.
But sometimes, life can be tough. Sometimes, when everything seems to be going great, something will happen that will ruin that. It happens to everyone at some point in my life. Ian and Summer were the tough spots in my life. If they hadn’t existed – or maybe if thing had gone differently – then my life would’ve probably turned out better than most. It would have saved a lot of tears and heartbreak. But, as I said, life’s tough, and I’ve just got to deal with it. In some ways, I already have. Like, with Summer, I’ve already dealt with her, banished her from my life, and, sadly, that was what I had to do to Ian too.
I walked over to Ian and knelt down beside him, tilting his chin up with my finger. He tried avoiding my gaze but I stared determinedly until his eyes met mine.
“I loved you,” I croaked, wiping away the tears with my thumb. “But that was in the past. It wasn’t meant to be. Now, I want you to leave. Forever. I don’t want to see you ever again, is that clear?”
He opened his mouth to say something but suddenly, I felt something vibrating from my pocket which cut him off. After a nervous glance towards Ian, I reached into my pocket and scooped out my mobile, which held a text from Dennis.
Hey, on my way to yours. I know we weren’t supposed to meet, but I miss you. Xx
My heart skipped a beat and I felt my cheeks heat up. Dennis...
“Who’s that?”
My head snapped and my hand flew to my heart, which was beating furiously. I had almost forgotten Ian was here!
“You need to leave,” I said sharply, stuffing my phone back into my pocket before grabbing his arm. He let me pull him up.
“What? Why?”
“My boyfriend is coming over,” I said, looking at my watch. In a lower voice, I added, “Please. You’ve got to leave.”
Ian wrenched his arm out of my grip and folded them across his chest. “And what if I don’t? I want to stay, Ali.”
“Move!” I screamed, pushing against his back with all the strength I could muster. I was bummed when he didn’t budge. Wow, I’m weak.
“I’ll leave,” he said, tapping his chin thoughtfully, “if you agree to meet me later this week.”
Anger boiled up inside me. “What? No! If you loved me, you’d let me move on.”
“If I loved you,” he whispered, stroking my face softly, “I would win your heart.”
I swallowed nervously, hating the fact that I loved the feeling of his skin against mine. “My heart belongs to somebody else.”
He smiled. “That’s why I’m going to steal it.”
“N –“
“I’ll call you,” he said.
“You don’t have my number,” I pointed out, “and I won’t give it to you.”
“That’s okay,” he said, scooping his phone out of his back pocket and dangling it in my face. “I still have your number saved.”
I glared at him. “I have a new number.”
“You don’t,” he said, and he was telling the truth. “Goodbye, Ali. I’ll see you soon.”
“Leave,” I snapped, irritated by his sudden cockiness. In some ways, he was similar to Dennis... “Now!” I pointed to the door.
He smirked (definitely like Dennis) and shuffled back into the hallway. My hand gripped the door handle, about to shut it when he bent down and picked up the abandoned lilies from the floor. Ian passed them to me and I took them without an argument. Then, he was gone.
**
“Hey,” I said, as Dennis stepped into the room. He was dressed in a black T-shirt, a similar colour to his messy hair, and jeans. There was one of his signatures smirks on his face and I couldn’t help but grin back at him.
“Hello gorgeous,” he replied, wrapping his arms around me. I inhaled deeply, loving the smell of his cologne. But somehow, it didn’t calm my feelings.
“I missed you,” he said, stroking my face just like Ian had only a few minutes ago. Somehow, I felt a queasy feeling in my stomach. Was it guilt?
He led me towards the couch and then he kissed me.
His lips were soft against mine and when I locked my arms around his neck, things started to heat up. Before I knew it, I was lying flat on my back on the couch with Dennis’s body pinning me there.
The kisses were definitely distracting but my thoughts were still as loud as ever.
Why did I feel guilty? Ian and I didn’t do anything! What is wrong with me? Why can’t I feel the passion with the Dennis? I don’t still feel anything for Ian! ...Do I?
“Ali?”
I blinked, my train of thoughts shattering. I was wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t realise me and Dennis had stopped kissing and he was now talking to me.
“Sorry,” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “What were you saying?”
“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously. “You seem... distant.”
I chewed on the bottom of my lip. “I’m not in the best of moods today, sorry. I... Well, Summer called me today.”
“What?” he said, shocked.
“Yeah,” I said, running a hand through my tangled hair. “And she was apologising and... I just felt so guilty! And then I started looking through our old photos... And, um, it just brought up emotions.”
“Oh, Ali,” he whispered, pulling me into a hug. I heard him smell my hair and was instantly reminded of Ian. Why can’t I stop thinking about Ian?
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “You probably didn’t want me being all soppy.”
He pulled away and looked at me hard. “Don’t you dare apologise,” he ordered, shaking his head slightly. “This is not your fault. I’m here for you, just remember that.”
I nodded, and then my cheeks felt wet.
It was that night, when he cradled me in his arms whilst I cried, that I was sure about my feelings towards Dennis. Although I was still confused about Ian, I was absolutely certain about Dennis.
I was falling for him.
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QUESTION: Ian or Dennis? :/ I'm pretty sure most of you will pick Dennis, but are there any Ian-lovers? :3
Let's try for 10 votes again? XD It's almost 1am but I felt like writing :/
<< VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! Because that last sentence was nice, you've gotta admit it :D
Alsooooooooooo, probably less updates, since I'm back to school on Monday -_- So yeahhh, enjoy this! Hope this is longer than I think :P
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