"I bought these ages ago and you still haven't worn them!" Radia complained taking pyjamas out of Sami's wardrobe. She was in the process of organising hers and Sami's wardrobes.
"But it's...it's fluffy," Sami replied, looking at the pyjamas in distaste.
"No it's just soft! Besides, it'll be comfy for and then comfy for me when I hug you."
"And the size is large. I'm medium."
"Oh we'll get you into large, don't worry. I just need to bake more cakes and cookies."
"I'm five foot nine, I shouldn't be size large. Stop making me so unhealthy," Sami whined.
"But you're finally getting cuddly again. This time I know for sure because I can feel it. And if you wear this, you'll be like a grizzly bear!"
"I don't want to be a grizzly bear."
"Maybe I want you to be a grizzly bear."
"Well I don't want you to want me to be a grizzly bear."
"Fine, I'll just cuddle Squeaky then."
"Fine!" Sami exclaimed and Radia huffed as she picked up their kitten.
A short while later, the doorbell rang and Sami went to answer it. There was a delivery and Sami was confused as to what it was. He dragged it inside and saw his name written across the top. Then he remembered what it could be and grinned.
"It's here," he said, dragging the box into the living room.
"What is it?"
"It's for Zaki," Sami said and Radia raised her eyebrow.
"For Zaki? What is it? Tell me!"
"Well, it's not as great as my original plan to get him a battery powered batmobile which he could drive but do you know how expensive those things are? So I got him a go-kart instead. My dad got me one when I was a kid. Spent hours playing on it."
"That sounds so fun! Do you think I'd fit in it?"
"Yeah if you shrunk about a foot."
"Hilarious. What's it for though? Just randomly giving him a present?"
"Yeah, why not? I originally thought of it as an Eid present but Eid's too far away. Plus, I have a better idea for an Eid present."
"Better than a go-kart? Ooh, tell me please!" Radia pleaded but Sami tapped his nose.
"You'll see towards the end of Ramadan."
"You suck."
"I think Zaki will disagree. And so will you on Eid."
"Are we still going to your mum's house now or are we going to mine to give that to Zaki?"
"Well, we already told mum we're going to see her. We can go to see your mum tomorrow."
"Okay, good because I want to talk to you about something," Radia said, playing with her hands nervously.
"Yes?"
"I want to see you hug your mum today. Before you say anything, I know you're going to claim it's awkward and you're okay with the way things are but I'm not. I want you to hug her and I want you to be completely relaxed around your mum and sister." Radia looked up at Sami challengingly.
"What's the point when I have you to be relaxed around?"
"That's a silly thing to say. You can't abandon your family for your spouse."
"I'm not abandoning anyone!" Sami said defensively. His heart was beginning to race as he recalled some of his past. Radia realised she touched a nerve walked over to Sami and pat his arm.
"I didn't mean you're abandoning them. I'm just saying, you've come a long way with your family but you can still improve. Relax around them. Laugh, joke, hug."
"I'm not the hugging kind unless it's you," Sami replied, putting his arms around Radia and pulling her close.
"Come on, Sami. Stop making excuses. Imagine the reward you'll get for this. I know they make you all awkward but you've got to do something about it. You can't just feel sad about it but not do anything. You're going to hug your mother today otherwise I refuse to hug you."
"Fine." Sami sighed and got up from where he sat. "But I'm not going to wear this then, okay?" Sami held up the soft-almost-fluffy pyjamas.
"That's a waste of ten quid."
"Well, I didn't ask you to buy it. Anyways, if we're going to go then let's get going. The wardrobe looks neat enough."
"Okay, let me just put these last few clothes away," Radia said, working faster. Sami got up to help her. Then they got ready and left for Sami's mother's house.
The whole time during the visit, Radia kept poking Sami and Sami understood why. She poked him every time his answers were short. She poked him when he didn't laugh at a joke properly. Sami felt sometimes she just poked him for fun. He also felt like he was going to get a bruise from her poking.
"So you don't want to be a Learning Mentor anymore?" Sami's mother asked. Sami shook his head. Poke.
"No." Poke. "It's a decent job but I think I'd prefer to be an Educational Psychologist."
"What exactly is this new job?"
"Helping children." Poke. "As in, helping kids who are finding it difficult in an educational setting. Being a psychologist but for students."
The conversation and poking went on until Sami's mother left the room. Manahil wasn't home and being alone with Radia, Sami grabbed her finger and threatened to bite it.
"I'm going to tell your mum you're threatening me." Sami and Radia stared into each other's eyes challengingly before Sami brought Radia's finger to his mouth and licked it.
"Ew! You're so gross!" Radia screeched, pulling her finger away from Sami and wiping it on his top. Sami doubled over laughing and Radia lightly punched his arm.
Sami's mother entered the room and Sami's laughter ceased as he sat back shyly.
"What's so funny?" She asked.
"Nothing," Sami mumbled.
"He licked my finger because I poked him," Radia admitted and the look Sami's mother gave made Sami want to curl into a corner and disappear. She looked surprised and confused. Sami frowned at Radia and she smiled back sweetly.
"That's not nice," Sami's mother said.
"It's okay, I deserve it. I've been torturing the poor guy since the day we married," Radia said and Sami shook his head, silently disagreeing. She was anything but torture. She was the woman who made him rush home from wherever he was just so he could feel the comfort of seeing her and holding her. Never had he loved home so much.
Sami went along with what Radia and his mother spoke about. He was beginning to speak more to save himself from Radia's pokes which were getting increasingly painful. Finally, it was time to go. Manahil still hadn't returned but Sami and Radia needed to do grocery shopping before the shops closed.
When Sami and Radia got to the door, Radia gave Sami a look. She was asking him to hug his mother.
"Just randomly?" Sami asked and Radia nodded, turning Sami around. Sami faced his mother, took a deep breath and stepped forward, pulling his mother into a hug. He could feel his mother was shocked. She was incredibly tense at first. But then she seemed to melt into him and Sami felt tears pricking his eyes as his mother held him back. After a while, Sami reluctantly pulled away. His mother cupped his face and brought it down to give him a kiss on his forehead.
"Come again soon, okay?" She said.
"I will do, in'sha'Allah." The happiness Sami felt at this moment was different to anything he had ever felt before. Behind him was his amazing wife, the woman who chose to marry him and love him. In front of him, for perhaps one of the first times in his life, Sami was looking into the eyes seeing what he had been craving for his whole life. His mother looked at him with pride and love. And Sami could feel Allah's mercy and blessings being showered upon them. Sami felt special in that moment. Complete.
Sami's mother moved over to hug Radia too. In her usual respectful way of speaking to elders, Radia promised to visit again next week when Manahil was at home. Then, Sami and Radia left.
In the car, Sami thanked Allah under his breath. Things really were improving. He also remembered to thank Radia.
"Jazak'Allah khair for being annoyingly persistent," Sami said.
"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch it," Radia replied with her usual teasing glint in her eye.
"Sorry, can't talk. Driving," Sami said and Radia shook her head.
"I'm glad you listened to me. I could tell by your mum's face, she's glad too. It seems to me you're both so similar and that's a problem. She feels too shy to be open with you and you're the same when it comes to her. Glad we can slowly get over this now."
"In'sha'Allah," Sami responded. He parked up near a supermarket and they got out of the car.
"Shoot, they're closing in ten minutes," Radia said, looking at the time.
"That's alright, isn't it?"
"Our drawers are empty. It's going to take longer to get everything."
"Well let's get going then!"
"Okay, we're going to have to split up. I'll text you half of the shopping list; I have it saved on my phone. Meet me here when you're done or wait for me until I'm done, okay?" Radia ordered and Sami nodded. The made their way to the doors of the supermarket, grabbed a basket each, and went their separate ways.
***
While Sami went to the dairy section, Radia headed towards the bakery section for bread. She made her way around, dragging the basket with her as every item made it heavier. When she got to the cereals aisle, she saw her old neighbour and gasped. He looked at her for a few moments before he recognised her.
"Pooja," Pritesh said and Radia scowled.
"Really? After all these years?" Radia asked, feeling that old desire to punch him though she was happy to see him. Growing up, Pritesh was like a little brother and they always played on the streets together along with the other neighbourhood kids. Once, Pritesh invited them all around to watch an Indian film. It was the first and last time Radia watched a Bollywood film and all the kids teased her for her shock and horror at one of the actress' clothing. Of course, her horror resulted in the kids calling her by that character's name. She'd punched a fair amount of kids for it, Pritesh being no exception.
"Why not? How are you?" Pritesh asked, not coming forward for a hug or a handshake. Radia was flattered he remembered her lectures about how girls and boys can't touch in Islam. He always caught her out when she punched him for calling her Pooja and she had to make a lame excuse to justify her actions.
"Good. How are you? How are your parents? How's Neeraja?"
"They're all good. Neeraja's starting uni soon."
"What? I thought you were still in secondary school!"
"I'm at the end of my second year of uni," Pritesh said.
"Wow, you kids grow up so fast," Radia replied, wiping a fake tear.
"What about you, Pooja? What are you doing these days?"
"If you call me that again, I will chase you with a spade again and this time, you won't be able to hide behind your little sister for protection," Radia threatened and Pritesh burst into laughter. Radia joined in, recalling memories which she hadn't thought about in so long when she felt a shadow behind her. Protective arms came around her shoulder and Radia could immediately sense something was off. She looked up to see Sami glaring at Pritesh. "Hey Sami, this is my old neighbour, Pritesh. They used to live next door to us for like a decade."
"I'm Sami, Radia's husband." It sounded like a warning and Pritesh looked a little scared. Sami proceeded to kiss Radia's head with much force, as if marking his territory. Pritesh put his hand forward to shake but Sami turned away, dragging Radia with him. Radia gave an apologetic look to a stunned Pritesh before she was pulled out of sight.
"What the heck was that?" Radia asked, pushing Sami away. Sami avoided eye contact as he took his basket towards the checkout aisle, a scowl etched on his face. Radia decided to do the same.
In dead silence, they brought their bought things to the car and filled the boot. Then, they sat in the car and buckled up. The journey was painfully quiet.
When they got home, they unloaded the car and Radia began to put things in the right places. When she was done putting the last item away, she turned to see Sami hovering behind her, looking like he had something to say.
"Shall I get started on dinner?" Sami asked, as if everything was normal. Radia crossed her arms.
"First tell me why you embarrassed me like that."
"I didn't embarrass you. The guy was laughing with you and I thought it was inappropriate," Sami said, trying to justify himself. That's when it clicked. Sami was a jealous man. Very jealous. It made Radia feel a little panicked.
"I know him from my childhood. He's two years younger than me. I know his entire family. Aunts and uncles too."
"I don't care if you know his ancestors. I don't like the way you were casually having a laugh and he was calling you Pooja. What the flip is that about?" Sami said angrily.
"It was a name all the neighbourhood kids sometimes called me because I hated a character called Pooja in this Indian film."
"Well it's not funny."
"We were kids!"
"I don't care. I don't like random men talking to my wife like that."
"You do know I have to work among men. I can't not talk to my managers or colleagues because my husband doesn't like it. Guess what? We occasionally crack a joke. You do the same with your colleagues, don't you?"
"That's different."
"How's it different?"
"I'm not attractive like you."
"I think Hareem would disagree," Radia said and Sami sighed.
"Really? You're bringing her up?"
"Look, Pritesh is just this neighbour from my childhood. We grew up together playing football and riding bikes with all the kids on our street. Just because I spoke to him for a minute doesn't mean I'm now madly in love with him and I regret marrying you! Do you really not trust me at all?"
"It's not you who I don't trust! It's them!"
"What? All the guys in the world? Are you delusional?"
"Yeah, maybe I am."
"Then sort yourself out. Do you know how mortified I was with the way you behaved? Okay, let's say I was wrong. I shouldn't have been joking with him. Fine. But that doesn't mean you come and act like that. What the heck will he think of you now? Or me for that matter."
"Why do you care so much?"
"You know what? Forget it. Just... Forget it. I don't want to talk to you right now," Radia said, marching past Sami, ignoring the hurt expression on his face. Right now, she was too angry to care.
A whole hour went by and neither of them spoke to each other. They didn't cook dinner or eat. Sami was sat in their bedroom since he returned from the masjid and Radia sat in the living room, watching TV.
It felt like forever before Sami walked into the room and sat next to Radia. He poked her side to get her attention but Radia ignored him.
"Hey," Sami said, putting his finger on the dimple in Radia's chin. Radia moved her head away. "Look, I'm sorry," Sami said. Radia continued to ignore him. Sami sighed before getting up.
He returned five minutes later in the soft-almost-fluffy pyjamas Radia bought him. "How do I look?" He asked. He sat next to Radia and put an arm around her. "Or better than that, how do I feel? Like a grizzly bear?" Radia couldn't help but smile.
"I'm still angry at you."
"But I said I'm sorry," Sami said, kissing the side of her face. Though Radia's mind was telling her to protest, Radia couldn't bring herself to push Sami back.
"I need you to really mean it. You can't act like that again. If you don't like something, talk to me about it. That sort of behaviour's unacceptable," Radia said and Sami nodded with seriousness.
"Okay. If there's anything else in the future, I'll talk to you about it. Let's not let today repeat itself. Half the day was so amazing. The other half was so bad."
"We can still make it better," Radia responded, leaning into him.
Radia had learnt something new about Sami. She didn't like it and it scared her a little too. But Radia was sure this was something she could overlook. She didn't even talk to guys to the extent where jealousy would become such a problem. Besides, Sami sounded like he learnt his lesson. It was just a little slip up. It happens in marriages. Most couples argue at one point or another, right? With these ideas floating around in her mind, Radia was sure everything was going to be okay.