My heat stopped beating and my mouth fell open.
“Hey, I'm Brian! I'm going to talk to y'all after the show! See you!” he smiled, before walking backstage, the whole band following him. I turned to Alice, who had a massive grin on her face.
“Does this mean that-” I began, trying to order my words. Alice nodded making me squeal while jumping, making Alice chuckle. But she soon joined me, and I knew, this tour was going to be fucking amazing.
“So you guys know The Summer Set?” Vinny asked laughing, making us nod. We talked for most of the show, and just like he said, some fans came out during the show to buy merch or just ask us something. Most of the questions were pretty personal and both, Alice and I, looked at Vinny every time. After the show was finished, a pretty big amount of fans stayed to buy merch or try and meet the guys. My phone buzzed off and I got it from the desk in the back.
Hey, take Alice and come backstage! Jack xx it read. I chuckled and took Alice's arm, jumping into the direction of the backstage rooms. We arrived a while after and knocked on the door, waiting for somebody to reply. After a while, Alex opened the doors, grinning at us and dragging us in.
“Okay guys, this is the summer set” Alex explained grinning.
“I know” I replied, as if it was normal, and could have slapped myself for stating it that way. “Like, I know who you are and...” I looked at Alice, searching for help.
“We're fans of you” she blurted out, making me laugh shortly.
“No shit Sherlock”I mumbled laughing, making her roll her eyes. She nudged me and I smiled at her, before facing the familiar faces, standing now in front of us. I could feel my knees becoming weak, and my hands shaking.
“H-hey I'm J-Jay” I stuttered, waving at them, still stunned.
“I'm Ali-” Alice took a deep breath before continuing “Alice” she smiled at them.
“Hey I'm... is there actually need to introduce myself?” Brian laughed, pulling Alice in a hug, and then me.
When I hugged him, I swear to god I could feel my heart exploding. Not like I loved him, but you know how strong celebrity feels are? Like when you really love a celebrity? Yeah, I could feel all of that rushing through my blood. I was hugging Brian fucking Dales.
He pulled away and I tried to hide my grin somehow but, of course, failed. As I looked over to Alice, I saw her blinking away the tears, making me chuckle lightly. Stephen and John aw'ed and rushed over, hugging her. I tried to contain my giggles, knowing that she was probably exploding right now. I then walked over to Jess and hugged her, and she hugged me back. While Alice was still hugged by the two, I went over and hugged Josh, who laughed and hugged me back.
After that, Alice was finally released and I hugged Stephen and John, smiling after pulling back. I saw Alice calmed down, and was now smiling as bright as me.
“Sorry for all the crying” I laughed, blinking the coming tears away, just as Alice did.
“Aw, it's no problem! It's cute” Jess smiled. We talked a lot, and I couldn't believe how lucky I was, I mean I was touring with the coolest people ever, my best friends, my boyfriend, and my favorite band. I seriously didn't know, why and how I deserved this, but I was so freaking happy. We talked while All Time Low was having a signing, and it was amazing. We got to know each other, and they were all so nice and lovely. About two hours later, the guys came back, and Jack ran up behind me, hugging me tightly, making me jump.
“Jesus Christ Jack!” I laughed, turning around and hugging him back. He kissed my forehead and I smiled against his chest.
“We're going to hit a bar, are you coming along?” He asked grinning. I nodded my head furiously, making him laugh, and suddenly it clicked. The energy drinks were kicking in. Now you see, energy drinks have effect on me, shortly after it for about 30minutes, and then after about 4-5hours later again. And now, adrenaline was rushing through my veins, and I felt myself getting hyper.
“YES WE'RE GOING TO A BAR” I screeched, jumping up and down.
Jack looked weirded out at me, and I started to run all over the place, before running over to Alice, hugging her and making both of us fall to the ground.
I giggled uncontrollably and apologized to Alice, who also giggled. We both got up and I walked over to Jack, pecking his lips, before grinning at him.
“Okay guys, let's go before somebody gets hurt” Rian laughed, and well all exited the venue. The guys stayed for a couple of minutes to sign things and talk to the fans who stayed behind, before joining us again. Jack was about to take my hand, but I jerked away, hoping it wasn't too obvious.
“What the...” he started, looking confused at me. I looked at him, before pointing at the fans.
“Seriously, we haven't told them, and I don't want them to find out this way” I whispered, fastening my path. Jack nodded and soon, Alex was next to me and we were talking about some random things, I can't remember anymore.
We arrived at a bar finally and walked in, ordering some drinks and shots for everybody. After we all got quite a few shots, I sat next to Jack and looked at him pouting my lip. I could tell he was still pissed at me for shrieking away. He sighed and looked at me.
“Look I'm sorry it's just that it would be a LITTLE obvious” I explained, hoping he'd accept it. He looked at me shortly, before taking a sip of his beet.
“Are you sure that it's not too dangerous for you to sit next to me right now” he huffed, looking away. He was drunk, he wasn't being serious, everything is okay. I leaned back and took out my phone, checking twitter and facebook, but nothing important happened. I shifted uncomfortable in my seat, before standing up.
“Anybody up for another shot?” I asked, looking in the round. Some of them nodded or shrugged, and I nodded my head, ordering another 2rounds for all of us. The drinks were soon at our table, and everybody took their shoots. I looked at Jack every once and a while, but he was determined to ignore me. After an hour, I decided it would be best to just leave, I mean I had a headache anyway, so what's the point in staying.
“Okay guys, I'm going! I'm pretty tired so see you tomorrow” I smiled and waved good bye at everybody. Just as I was about to walk out of the door, Alice grabbed my wrist, making me flinch, but look at her.
“Yeah?” I asked confused.
“Why are you leaving? And don't say I'm tired cause I know you're not” she asked.
“It's nothing seriously, I just want to go to sleep” I replied, she had this look that told me she knew I was lying. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Fine, it's because I'm quite pissed at Jack, and so is he. He just needs some time and so do I” I replied. She nodded and hugged me. I hugged her back and said good bye once again.
I walked out and the cold hair hit my face, and I felt tears making their way down my cheeks. Fuck it, it's not like I've done something wrong... Right? I didn't want to think about that right now and headed to the hotel, and find it after a while. I smiled at the people working there, and clicked on the 4th floor, waiting for my level. I wiped away the tears while waiting, and just as I was about to finish, the doors opened. I walked out and walked towards our room, opening the door and lying down in the middle of the bed. I stood up after some minutes, walking over to my bags and started to search for my pills. I find them about 5minutes later and searched my depressant tablets, along with some sleeping tablets. I then walked into the bathroom, grabbing a glass from the shelter, pouring water in it, and took the depressant one first. I sat back on the bathroom floor and just waited for it to set in, so I could drink the other tablets. I lied my head on my knees and let the coming tears fall. I wasn't even sure why I was crying I mean, Jack and I wouldn't argue for ever, that's not how it works … We are meant for each other … Right? After 10minutes, I felt myself getting calmer and I stood up, seeing my mascara and eye liner all over my face. I sighed and decided to head for a shower before going to bed. While I searched for my towels in my suitcase, my eyes fell on my razor. My mind went crazy. Should I? Maybe it wouldn't be too bad... But I promised Alice though … I looked at the clock and thought about how long they'd be away. It was only half past eleven. Without thinking twice, I grabbed my razor and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water soak my hair. Before doing anything else, I grabbed the razor and pulled it along my wrist, where I had some other fading scars. The release came soon and the feeling of it made me relax.
'What the fuck have I done' I thought instantly after doing it. I put the razor away, and pushed the thought out of my head, focusing on my shower. It burned like a bitch. Of course it did, but I ignored the pain, and got into my pj's, before taking my sleeping tablets and lying down.
Thanks to them, it didn't take me long to drift off into a deep sleep.
I was woken up some time later, by somebody shaking my body.
“What?” I asked, my sound cracking but still sounding pissed.
“What have you done?” Jack asked, tears in his eyes.
“What do you mean?” I asked, still confused.
“You know exactly what I mean” he replied, a tear falling down.
“Jack, if I knew I'd tell you” I answered, sitting up.
“Jay, what the fuck” he whisper yelled. Just then I realized that my cuts haven't been dry when I lied down.
“Shit” I mumbled, looking at the blood stains on the sheets.
“Shit? No! This is fucking horrible!” he replied, walking up and down the room.
“Jack calm the fuck down, it's not that bad” I said, standing up and walking into the bathroom to wash my hands.
“Not that bad? Excuse me, but you're fucking cutting!” He nearly yelled.
“Jack! Stay silent! And yes I did, so what?” I asked, not understanding the fuss of it.
“My heart stopped beating when I saw you not moving and all the blood on the fucking bed” he explained, looking hurt. “It fucking hurts”
“Oh really? Well it also fucking hurt when you were ignoring me just because I was being careful Jack!” I fought back.
“I was just holding your fucking hand!” he replied. I huffed and grabbed my phone, going on tumblr. I searched the All Time Low tag, before finding the post from earlier.
'Okay, so I don't want to jump to conclusions, but Jay (the new merch girl) seems to be pretty lost every time somebody mentions Jack. Not saying they are together, but it's kinda obvious... Isn't it?'
'Oh c'mon, I actually think it's really weird that they took Alice along? I was at the concert, and they didn't even looked like friends LOL! Like, why do they have to act like they're friends, and then there is the question, why is she on tour ;)'
'Oh and guys, I asked them if they knew who Jack's gf is, and they answered it was Jay, but tbh they sounded pretty sarcastic so idk, but thought you'd need to know'
Jack read through it, before handing me my phone back, looking at the ground.
“Nothing to say?” I asked. He still looked to the ground and I rolled my eyes, walking past him. But just as I was to lie down, he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back, hugging me tight. I tried to get out of the hug, but he just tightened me, and I sighed after a while deciding not to fight back.
“I'm so sorry” he mumbled against my hair. I just huffed and rolled my eyes. “No really, I am, I didn't think that far...” he said, pulling away and looking into my eyes.
“Jack” I sighed, I was about to argue again, but before I could say anything else, he crashed his lips on my, making me nearly fall over. I soon closed my eyes and replied the kiss. After a few moments he pulled away, stroking my cheeks.
“I really am sorry” he whispered, kissing me all over my face. I smiled hugged him again.
“Sorry for being a bitch” I laughed quietly. He once again, pulled again and looked at me.
“No, you don't have to be... Seriously I'm so freaking sorry... Jay?” He asked, after a short moment of silence.
“Hm?” I asked, looking at him.
“Promise me to never cut again” he whispered.
“If you promise me not to tell Alice” I replied, taking his hands in mine. Suddenly he froze and started shifting.
“Y-yeah I w-won't tell her...” he stuttered, making my eyes go wide.
“You already did, didn't you?” I asked, my voice not louder than a whisper.
“Listen, I was just worried and didn't know what to do, I called Alice as soon as I saw the blood and she told me to wake you up and then just I'm so sorry but I was in panic” he rambled.
“Fuck” I muttered “No, don't worry, you just wanted the best, don't blame yourself or anything, it's fine...” I replied.
He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me softly.
“Everything will be okay” he whispered, and I swear in that fucking moment, I actually believed it.
We cuddled up in bed shortly after, and soon both fell asleep.
next morning
We had to wake up early, at around 7am to get ready for the tour. I sighed and stood up, starting to put everything back into my suitcase, before taking out some blue skinnies, along with one of Jack's Boner shirts. I put both on, brushing my teeth and hair, and putting on my glasses. I didn't bother to put in my contacts, since I would for sure sleep on the bus.
I looked down at my fresh cuts and thought about how to cover them. Make up would burn and wouldn't cover them enough. I sighed and grabbed some bracelets, putting them on and then also a sweatshirt. I looked into the mirror and put my hair into a high pony tail. By the time I finished, Jack was already up and ready to go. I pecked his lips, neither of us said anything, we were both still really tired. My phone buzzed off and I got it, looking at the messages.
5minutes to go guys! Matt x
I smiled and took Jack's hand in mine, walking towards the lifts, and going down. We arrived in time and, what for a surprise earlier than Alex.
As we joined the group, I could feel Alice's glare on me, but I didn't dare to look up at her. I knew she was giving me the death stare, and would probably freak out if I'd smile at her. A couple of minutes later, Alex joined and we all got onto the tour bus. We'd drive with two buses, one for All Time Low and crew, and the other for The summer set. We hugged the guys from TSS good bye and got onto the bus. Matt gave us the plans of where we'd be sleeping and went through all the rules, making the boys groan, and me and Alice chuckle.
The boys started to walk around in the bus, and in the next moment Alice and I were alone in the back lounge. Oh shit.
I thought about what to do, and tried to stand up and walk out, but Alice was faster and stood at the door way, giving me a mad look. I looked sorry at her and she nodded towards the sofa, making me sigh and sit down.
“Don't be mad” I said to myself, but Alice probably heard it.
“How the fuck can I not be mad? You fucking PROMISED” she raised her voice in the end.
I've fucked up.
A/N: hello everybody!!
Todays author note is a bit different! So, first off, how are you guys? I hope you had a good day? Leave me a comment below! I want to know how you precious people feel like!
Also, my usual thanks to everybody who's reading this and actually likes the story! You are the reason I keep on writing <3
Also, I want Alex to find his 'mate' now, and I don't know how to call her, or how she should look like, so if YOU want to be Alex' mate, leave me a comment below, and just tell me what your favourite song by ATL is! (I know it's weird but seriously, I need to know who's interested :) )
I hope you guys enjoy this story! Love you all sooo much
Jay