The elders and Stephen sat at the table , and Matt and I stood behind them silently like the last executions. As Luna I was expected to witness all executions, and even though I felt nauseas I fulfilled my duty. Zeke had been brought out blindfolded with a gag in his mouth, and he was chained to the ground on his knees. Stephen read his sentence of death and put the paper down in front of him. I wondered where the executioner warrior was but remained still.
Stephen stood up and walked to Zeke. Oh no, I thought to myself as I wanted to walk to him to stop him. Stephen was going to be the one to kill him, why didn't he tell me? We just didn't discuss the specifics of the execution, Stephen told me when it was and I met him here- it didn't occur to me to ask about the details. We were in the same deathly still field behind the jail, and all noises were dampened and no animals moved.
"Traitor, this death is too merciful for your crimes." Stephen stood in front of Zeke so the prisoner would not be able to see me, and I would be blocked from seeing the killing also.
Stephen reached down and made a faint noise and we all heard his quiet whisper, "But know this, Traitor, your last vision will be the very Messenger of Death himself." And with a quick movement Stephen twisted and broke Zeke's neck and the man slumped to the ground, the blindfold down around his neck and his now blank eyes staring up at Stephen in what appeared to be horror.
Stephen turned away and walked toward me, his breathing was normal but his eyes were slightly blackened. I know Stephen wanted to tear the bastard apart, and truly thought the quick death was too merciful. But Pack Law was still the law, and Stephen refused to be above his own laws. I met him and reached for his hand. We both walked back to the pack house along a path that went behind all the buildings in the village. When we left the execution field I immediately heard the birds singing and felt a slight breeze on my face. I looked up to see some clouds drift high above the trees.
************
Later after dinner I was restless. I couldn't stay still or concentrate, for some reason the outdoors was calling me- not for a run but to just walk in the woods and look at the moon. I needed the moon tonight. Stephen was working in his office, there was some sort of conference call that needed his attention. And Matt was playing on the floor next to me with all his toys, right now he especially enjoyed chewing on a soft wolf doll and drooling all over.
"Matt, how 'bout we take a little walk outside?" I asked my pup smiling down at him. He glanced at me then went back to chewing on his toy with gusto. I reached down to pick him up and he raised his hands like always, I put a sweater on him, and held him on my hip. I walked downstairs and could hear people in the kitchen, the game room, the tv room, and various places in the pack house. There were a lot of people here, and I knew the scent of every one of them, I knew their faces, I knew their current relationship status, their issues, and so much about them. I realized I had created a social network that funneled information to me so I could keep tabs on them, and I remembered all of it.
I was their Luna, and I did this for them to try to keep them healthy and balanced. We were connected and I cared. They were all my family.
I carried Matt as I walked slowly down the path that led to the lake, I didn't particularly want to walk all the way there, but I wanted to walk under the trees so I could see the moon through the branches.
"Matt," I said looking down at him while he just looked back up to me with those familiar grey eyes. "there's something I need to know tonight only I don't know what it is. Your mommy's a little nutty but you already know that." I kissed his forehead and kept walking. I got to a small meadow and stepped out into it. The grasses seemed to shimmer with the slight summer's night breeze, the little brook reflected the moonlight making the image look like it was dancing. The surrounding forest was dark but felt familiar, the woods smelled and felt comfortable, the trees seemed to calm me. I put Matt on the grass and he sat there looking at me as I played with his hair. I then leaned back on my arms while I looked at the sky.
I thought about everything that had happened with Zeke, those events seemed so remote somehow, but it was only two days ago. I thought about how the madman forced me to explore this side of myself that would have otherwise remained hidden. I had thought about all of this many times before and I was tired of it, I just wanted my ordinary life back. I wanted to be able to drive where I wanted, to do what I wanted- I missed my freedom that he had stolen from me.
Well now he was dead and I was... what? I still wasn't free, we didn't yet know the scope of his organization or what they were planning. I sighed since I didn't have any answers.
I looked to my right as I heard a deer moving in the darkness, I heard the other critters scurrying around, I heard the almost silent flapping of an owl as it scooped up a distressed rat. This was the life of the wild, this was the balance of the forest. I sat and looked at the moon, which was just over half phased.
"Why, Luna?" I asked the moon. I poured all my anguish in that question knowing there were no answers for me. I held out my hand and created a single flame and held it high. Matt looked over at me as I looked up at the moon. I never did understand why I was chosen, of all she-wolves why was I chosen? I felt so alone, there was no one who I could really talk to about my loneliness.
It was crazy to feel lonely, I had my soul mate who has given me everything. His heart, his name, his son, his pack- everything. And I loved him and smiled. I closed my fist and lay back on the soft grass and rubbed Matt's back. I had hoped that Gavon would be able to make the flame, but he hasn't been able to. I could transfer the flame but that was all. Mave was unable to create the flame either, it was just me.
I sighed and put my hands behind my head.
"Luna, I don't understand," I kept talking to the moon. "I have never understood my life. And I feel... it... Luna, I know something's coming. I know it. I wish I understood the Machine, I wish I understood the Azhar Pact, I wish I understood the ancient writings- I just wish I understood."
And I knew what I had to tell the Goddess.
"And I don't understand... death." I kept looking at the moon, not expecting any answers or clarity.
"I don't understand this force, Luna, I don't understand the evil that only lives for pain, for the play of torture. I don't understand the blackness that invites such suffering, that is void of any feeling except a selfish malice."
I thought for a moment then whispered, "I could use some help now, a vision would be nice. Or a letter in the mailbox telling me what's going on." Matt decided to crawl up on my stomach and I reached around to keep him safe, smiling at his babbling. I loved this pup so much, our bond was as strong as any mother's. I smiled at him as he squirmed around, it seemed he was never still.
A voice behind me startled me, "You look so beautiful in the moonlight."
I relaxed and smiled at my Mate's voice. Matt looked at his father and held out his arms, and Stephen walked to us slowly and picked up his pup. They both smiled at each other and Stephen sat beside me and absently bounced Matt up and down in a playful way. I leaned back and put my hands back behind my head.
"I didn't smell you," I mentioned to Stephen.
"I was down wind," he replied and shrugged his shoulder. I realized I should have been more alert.
"I feel your discomfort Danika," Stephen said and looked at me.
"I'm fine," I replied still looking at the moon.
"I know what you're feeling, Mate," Stephen said back to me after a moment. "I feel your confusion which almost borders on pain. I know you've felt like this for a while now, and I wish you would have talked to me."
I just sighed and looked over at him, I simply didn't know what to say. "I have everything I could want, Stephen. I have you, my mate and my love, I have my beautiful boy, I have a pack I'm crazy about- I have everything I could want."
"But..." Stephen prompted.
"I don't know, Stephen."
"I killed Zeke." Stephen said without any lead up to the subject.
"Yes," I replied and looked back at the moon.
"You're bound to feel... something... about that," Stephen said still looking at me and putting Matt down in front of him.
"I wish you would have let me kill him in the village," I replied.
"That's not what we needed to show our pack, you know that. You weren't in control, Danika."
I was silent.
"Say it love," Stephen prompted.
I remained silent.
"You need to say it, we've gone through this before. You keep everything bottled up, and you need to admit the truth to yourself."
I looked over at my Mate, he had quickly become annoying. I blew out a breath, "I don't know what more I can say about it, Stephen. I wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch with my own hands. I didn't want to let anyone else kill him. I wanted to be the one to kill him in cold blood, and I already admitted I had become a monster. What more do you want from me?"
Stephen kept looking at me with this dark intensity, his eyes were almost glittering in the moonlight.
"You know what else, Danika."
I sat up quickly, "God, Stephen, you keep saying this cryptic shit and I'm supposed to know what you're talking about."
Stephen reached out a hand and ran his fingers along my cheek, then put his hand on my shoulder.
"I know you, love, I hear you. I can feel this ongoing, aching pain that sits inside of you, I watch you try to pretend that everything's fine and you refuse to talk about it. Well I feel you damnit! So don't tell me you don't know what the problem is."
I felt the sudden stinging of my eyes and turned away from him, blinking my tears away. "It's my problem, Stephen."
Stephen dropped his hand and blew out a breath. "If you haven't figured it out by now, there's no 'you' or 'I' anymore, Mate. I feel you intensely. When I'm working I can feel you howling to the moon in distress. I try to give you your space, love, but you keep ignoring your pain. Only it's not just your pain, love, because I feel everything that you do. Most of the time I don't know where you start and I end, the lines, the boundaries are all blurry. When we sit together our heartbeats and breaths sync together. Our very pulses beat together, our rhythms connect in harmony."
Stephen smiled on one side of his face, "I need you to tell me why you have tears in your eyes."
I huffed out a breath and looked into the deep woods. I lifted my face to the moon and said a sarcastic internal 'thanks for the help' to the Goddess, and felt a tear run down my face.
I felt anger and knew it wasn't Stephen's fault. "Zeke pulled something from me, Stephen. It was a type of... rape... is how I feel about it. Like he knew so much more about me then I did, and he kept manipulating me to act how he wanted me to. He..." I stopped unable to continue.
Stephen reached out and took my hand and kissed my palm. I looked over to him as I felt the familiar tingles his touch always created, the current ran down my arm and to my core. God what that man did to me, every single time.
I took in a deep breath to just finish saying what I needed to say. "He blended our energies, Stephen. It's hard to describe, but he was trying to join with me in a type of way that was foreign to me, it helped to flame my rage." I looked at the moon as Stephen held my hand.
"And the fucking truth of the matter is that I was stronger because of it, the merging of our two different energies was tempting me... making me want... the thoughts were so alien... I could have been... more." I stopped and caught my breath. "Only I was rejecting the merging as it was happening, I tried to prevent it and didn't know how to stop it."
"Who can teach me about this, Stephen? There's fucking no one to fucking teach me what I need to know. There's no one, Stephen! There's no one." I trailed off at the end of it.
Stephen looked away for a moment. "I wish I could help you more, Danika. I see you struggle, and my people have been researching all the pack history texts and can't find any other references about these types of energies. There's one thing you haven't factored in though," Stephen leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
He pulled back and stroked my hair from my face. "The one factor is that you're so strong. You fight for what you believe in. These strange things have happened to you, and you face them head-on. You might doubt yourself later, but when you need to stand and look 'death' in the eye you even want to lead 'death' away. You face the unknown 'stranger', you defend your pack, your mate, and your pup. You need to factor in how strong you actually are." Stephen leaned down and kissed me harder as Matt started to climb in between us.
I smiled and reached up to cup his cheek. "I love you, Mate."
Stephen held Matt and stood up, reaching down to help me up also. He pulled me close to his body and kissed me hard the way I liked it. Pulling back slightly he smiled and said, "I love you, Mate."
************
After we returned to the pack house we checked with everyone to make sure the patrols were on schedule, there were no 'ops' running, and that there were no emergencies or issues that couldn't wait. We put Matt in his crib in the room next to ours and walked back to our room in silence. Stephen shut the door and I turned and put my arms around his neck. I reached up and kissed him hard, then reached down and grabbed his ass.
"Hmmm, Luna," he murmured and grabbed my waist. "I like where this is heading."
"Quiet, Alpha," I said against his lips. I then started to unbutton his shirt and he smirked and untucked my own shirt from my pants. I reached down to still his hands and he raised an eyebrow to me.
"Let me, Alpha," I whispered, and he dropped his hands and waited. I finished unbuttoning his shirt, then kissed his stomach and my kisses went lower, eventually kissing his cock which was twitching under his jeans. He ran his fingers through my hair as I kept kissing and biting him through the denim. I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants slowly, and lowered them to his ankles along with his underwear. His cock sprang up proudly as I started to nibble on the sides, staying away from his leaking tip. I heard Stephen's hissing breath as he waited. I reached down to untie his shoes, then tapped his knee to lift up one foot. I removed his shoe, pants, and socks of one leg then did the same to the other. I then started nibbling my way up his outer legs until I reached his ass, then moved behind him on my knees to bite his ass gently.
Stephen groaned.
I kissed and licked his ass, trailing my mouth all around him back to the front, then took one of his balls in my mouth and sucked. Stephen threw his head back and groaned while making fists at his side. I reached up and slowly started stroking his stiff cock as I moved to the soft, hot ball on the other side. I sucked, and licked, and gently chewed on them just how he liked.
"God Danika," he groaned as he reached down for me.
"No Mate," I growled at him. "Give me just another minute and then we can lay down." I went back to my activities, then suddenly took his head in my mouth, lightly running my teeth around the tip. I loved his salty, tangy taste and loved how he groaned. Stephen started thrusting gently in my mouth, I knew he wanted to lie down and I was prolonging this. Stephen put his hands in my hair and tugged me up.
"Enough," Stephen said to me as his eyes were getting darker. I smiled and stood up, but kept stroking him with my hand. With my other one I took his hand and led him to our bed. I let go and pushed him gently back so I could sit beside him, and started stroking him again. I smiled and lowered my mouth to him again, only this time I took his entire length down my throat as I massaged his balls in my hand.
"Mmmmmm you taste good," I told him and he then thrust hard in my mouth which shut me up. I started sucking harder and grazing my teeth along his length, moving my head as he increased the tempo. He pulled my head down and kept it there as he thrust harder, he threw his head back panting, and groaned to the room.
"I'm gonna cuuuuuuummmmm," he groaned as he pushed harder in my mouth. I sucked harder, and moved my tongue over his tip and swirled it around his ridge. I then felt the salty liquid squirt down my throat, and I kept sucking. When he was done spurting I pulled out a little and sucked him clean. He started to flinch and made me stop, I knew he would become too sensitive and enjoyed teasing him. His response was to pull me up and kiss me deeply. I felt his cock shrink a little against my stomach and smiled.
Stephen held my cheeks gently and kissed me, and I felt all his love.
"Mate, give me just a minute to regain my strength and I'll eat you up." I smiled at him and looked at him with all my love shining in my eyes. I was very wet and couldn't wait.
"I hope so, love."
**I really enjoy how Jennifer Lawrence sang this song for Mockingjay, and how it starts simple then becomes more complex. I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter and please vote if you have a mind to.
Hang in there! -Olympic Wolf