Over The Few Next Weeks I Was Depressed More Than Ever
I Couldn't Eat And I Couldn't Smile.... I Felt Alone And I Hated Being Alone
I Felt Hopeless And I Wasn't Getting No Better
Early In The Morning I Was Up Changin Ayden Diaper When Cathrine Walked In Smilin And Cheerful"GoodMornin"
"Mornin"I Said To Cathrine Dryly
She Looked At Me And Said "How Is My Sweet Baby"
As She Picked Up Ayden I Ran My Fingers Through My Hair
Cathrine Looked At Me And Said "Look At You...Why Dont You Let Me Watch Ayden Today While You Go Get Your Hair Done Or Somethin"
I Grabbed A Piece Of My Hair And Said "Whats Wrong With My Hair"
"Whats Not Wrong It You Look A Mess....I Have To Be Honest Oh Darling You Look Terrible,I Know Your A New Mother And You Might Just Be Havin A Case Of Baby Blues But Child Its Been Weeks Since You Left This House Why Don't You Get Your Hair Done,Put On Some Make Up And Put On Your Sexiest Dress And Go Out"She Suggested
"Go Where I Have No Boyfriend No Friends No Family Where Can I Go Out To"I Asked
She Laughed And Said "Girl You Ain't Ever Been Alone Before" She Joked
"Actually....No I Haven't This Is The First Time"I Said Seriously
Than She Just Looked At Me
"Well Now Is The Time To Start"She Said
I Will Admit I Have Let Myself Go Within The Last Weeks I Just Been So Depressed I Haven't Been Able To Even Look In The Mirror
I Didn't Want Too... It Burns My Eyes To Look at My Reflection
"Baby He Gon Move On Even You Never Do Let It Go If Its Really Supposed To Be He'll Come Back To Ya"Cathrine Said Makin Me Wanna Cry
"And What Happens If He Doesn't Come Back"I Asked
"Than You Take It As A Blessin And A Lesson And You Learn From All This"Cathrine Said
"I Already Learned To Never Fall In Love With An Arrogant Cocky Rich Self Absorbed Selfish Unfaithful Man Again"I Said
"Im Out Fightin For Us And All He Cares About Is That Chick With The Fake Eyebrows I Never Thought In A Million Years August Would Choose Another Woman Over Me"I Said
"I Always Thought His Love Was Real Now I Know He Never Loved Me"I Said
"You Gon Put All The Blame On August Its Take Two To Tangle"She Said
I Shook My Head And Than I Heard The Doorbell Ring "That's Probably The Nanny"
I Got Up And Walked To The Front Door
When I Opened The Door It Was Jalen
"Hey"I Said Look In Those Big Beautiful Brown Eyes Of His
I Stepped Out Of My Condo And Closed The Door Behind Me
He Looked At Me And Grabbed My Hand And"She Said Yes"
And My Heart Damn Near Skipped A Beat
I Placed My Hand On My Chest And Thats The Moment When I Knew It Was Truly Over With Me And Jalen
"Congratulations"I Said As My Both My Eyes Filled With Tears
His Eyes Were Looking Into Mine "We Leaving Atlanta For Good Today We Starting A New Start In New York"
His Eyes Began To Filled With Tears "Today"I Asked
"Right After I Leave Here I Gotta Flight To Catch I Just Wanted To....To Come And Say Goodbye Face To Face"He Said
I Put My Head Down As So Many Emotions Hit Me All At Once
"I Gotta Move On I Gotta Get Over You,Girl Being In Love With You Is Killin Me Inside"He Said As A Tear Fell Down His Eye
While Im Still Holding My Tears In "I Know And I Want You To Be Happy I Really Do Jalen You A Good Man You Deserve To Be More Than Happy"
"You Good Woman,You A Little Mess Up But You Worth A Good Fight I Just Want Ya Too Know I Would Lie Down And Die For You"He Said
"I Know You Would"I Said As A Tear Fell From My Eye
He Placed His Grandmother Ring In My Hand "I Won't You To Have This"
I Held The Ring In My Hand "I Love You" I Whispered
"I Always Love You No Matta What You Gon Always Be My Baby"He Said
And Finally Tears Came Out "Its Cool Cry Im The One Person You Don't Have To Pretend Your Strong In Front Of I Know Who You Are"
Than He Hugged Me And I Felt A Piece Of My Heart Break Off Just A Little
He Kissed Me On My Forehead "Be Good"
Than He Let My Hand Go And I Watched Him Walked Away
I Known Jalen My Whole Life He Was My Bestest Friend And I Can't Tell You How Much He Means To Me
He's Been Right By Side This Entire Time And I Would Be Lying If I Said I Didn't Love Him I Love That Man
And As Much As I Want Him To Stay Here And Chase Me I Wanted Him To Be Happy Way More Because A Good Man Like That Deserves All The Happiness His Heart Can Hold
Lookin Down At The Ring I Can Remember Him Tellin Me "Im Gon Marry You When I Grow Up" When He Was Only Just Seven Years Old
He Always Had A Thang For Me And He Always Will
I Wiped The Tears From My Face And Walked Back In
I Went In My Bedroom And Looked In The Mirror And I Could See Broken I Was
I Needed To Get Away Go Out Like Cathrine Cause This House Just Ain't Makin Me Feel Better
I Grabbed My Phone And Dialed August Number
He Answered The Phone And Said "Aye Im Busy Right Na Ima Have To Call You Back"
"No You Wont ! Look I Need You To Come Over And Watch Your Son Tonight"I Said
"My Mama And Mrs.Franklin There I Gotta Finish This Album Aziah I Have A Deadline The Label Is On My Ass"He Said
"You Know What Its One Thing To Put Your Career Over Me But Its Another To Put Your Career Over Ayden"I Said
"Aziah Im Outchea Workin I Got You A Condo,I Gotcha A Nanny,Im Payin All Ya Bills,Im Wiring You Money In Your Accounts Every Week,On Top Of All Im Tryna Be A Good Father To My Son"He Said
"So What ! You Supposed To Do All That You Complaining Like Im Supposed To Give A Fuck You Gon Do All That And More And You Watchim Ayden Tonight!"I Yelled In The Phone
"Bitch Who You Talkin To Like That! I Ain't Gotta Do Shit For You Im Supposed To Take Care Of Ayden But I Try Ta Look Out For Too Cause You The Mother Of My Son"He Said
"Look August Be Here At Eight Ima Leave It At That!"I Said As I Hung Up On Him
August Didn't Wanna Be With Me Okay Well He Still Have To Be A Father To Our Son He Gon Do His Daddy Duties
I Been In This House For Weeks The Least He Can Do Is Was To Come Over And Take Care Of Ayden While I Go Out
Later On That Day I Had Showered Dried Off Slipped Into A Little Black Dress
I Curled My Hair Up And Put On Dark Purple Lipstick
I Was Thicker Than Ever Before I Had More Ass Than Ever
Tom Ford Fur Heels On My Feet I Twirled In The Mirror And Said "Im Back"
Finally I Was Lovin The Way I Looked
Broken Inside Pretty On The Outside
It Was Eight Thirty And August Was Just Walkin In As I Was Putting My Earrings On
"Your Late And Ima Need That Key Back"I Said
"I Pay All The Bills I Should Make My Own Key,Dont Tell Me You Goin Out....You Want Me To Wach Our Son While You Go Out And Shake Your Ass"He Said
"I Been Stuck At Home For Weeks I Need To Get Out"I Said
He Looked At Me And Said "I Gotta Album To Finish Aziah If I Lose My Career You Can't Take Of Me You Coulda Of Let My Mama Watched Ayden Tonight"
"Ummm Yo Mama Ain't Fucked Me And Get Me Pregnant Last Time I Checked He's Both Our Responsibility I Done My Part Now Its Yours He's Asleep He Will Be Wakin Up In A Minute For A Bottle So You Should Be Makin One Right Now"I Said
I Grabbed My Clutch Purse "You Leavin Ya Two Month Old Baby To Go Be A Thot"
I Rolled My Eyes And Said "Im Not Abouta Agrue With You Good Night"
Than He Grabbed My Arm And Looked At My Ass And Licked His Lips
"What"I Said
"Come Lay Down With Me Right Quick"He Said
I Look At Em And Said "Nah You Better Call Miracle And Let Her Know You Gon Be Ayden Tonight Don't Wait Up August Goodnight"
Yes I Turned Him Down Was Takin Cathrine Advice Letting Him Go
Our Relationship We Had Was Now Dead And I Wasn't Looking Back I Just Wanted To Have Fun
I Was Young Single,Beautiful And Out On An Night Alone For The First Time Ever In My Life