We are down two people. Locklyn is on bed rest and needs to make sure these babies stay in for at least two more months and then Trace actually did break his ankles. Anya looked at them closely after two days of him crying and screaming every time he tried to stand up and he indeed broke them. Anya looked in the cabinet downstairs and found foldable crutches and gave them to Trace to at least help him gain some strength to go to the bathroom and try to walk around.
Since we are short people, Cason doubled up on his duties, offering to take Trace's chores if Anya and I help Locklyn and get her whatever she wants. We agreed, thinking it wouldn't be a problem, but it is. She is always wanting tea or lemonade and now that the weather is warmer, she is always complaining she's hot. I cannot wait till these babies are born.
I was washing the laundry today and having Lock fold and sort the clothes. Trace is in a lot of pain from his ankles so I'm not letting him do anything. I brought the first basket to Lock who was sitting on the couch, waiting for me. Trace was lying on the other couch with two ice packs on his ankles and pillows under them to have a cushion.
"Here Lock, you can start this load."
"Thanks Hadley," she took the basket and froze to touch her stomach. She took a deep breath and began to sort the clothes first. She stopped and touched her stomach again.
"You okay?"
"The babies are very active today. I am not good with pain and this is just them kicking."
"You have multiples in there, of course it is going to hurt more," Trace said. He was watching the movie channel and a cartoon was on. "And get used to this, your children are going to be obsessed with cartoons."
"No they won't. They will be obsessed with sports and drawing. I will not have my children glued in front of a television. I won't allow it." Trace laughed and nodded. "Had, can you get me some fruit? The babies are hungry."
"Keep saying babies when really you want it Lock," Trace had an attitude.
"Shut up, Trace!" she yelled.
"Both of you stop!" I yelled. "Trace, Locklyn is pregnant and if she says the babies are hungry, then they are hungry. Leave her alone. She is very pregnant and uncomfortable."
"Fine, I'm sorry Locklyn." Trace looked over at her and smiled. "I want my nieces and nephews to live. If you need to eat more, then eat so they are healthy." She nodded and looked down at her huge stomach. It is two times bigger than it was two weeks ago, it keeps getting bigger, and I do not know if she will be able to make it to May, that is two months away still.
I went back to the basement and began the next load of laundry. I cleaned out the hidden bedroom upstairs and sorted the baby clothes. I am washing them for the first time today.
I heard Cason in the meat room and he was talking to himself it seemed. I was trying very hard to concentrate on the laundry but what he was saying kept me from continuing my chores.
"I want to kill you!" he screamed and banged the wall. "Why did you take him away from me?" he yelled. "WHY?"
I ran up the basement stairs, out the glass sliding door, down the deck steps, and into the meat room from the outside. Cason stared back at me. His eyes were wide and red, like he was crying or even high. He can't be high because we have nothing you can inject, smoke, or snort,.
"Cason." He shook and began to breathe heavily. He was shaking and trying to hold in his tears. "Talk to me, I'm here to help you." He shook his head, the tears poured out of his eyes, and he fell to the ground in a ball. He touched his chest and was trying his best to take a deep breath. "Cason!" I ran over to him and pried his hand away from his chest. He was stiff and soon lying on the ground, moaning and not breathing. "Relax!"
"Help..." he took a deep breath, "me..."
"I am. Just relax and don't focus on anything but your breathing." He was staring at me with wide and worried eyes. After five minutes his breathing became slow and he was able to take a normal deep breath. I put my fingers to his inner left wrist and counted in my head. "Your heart rate is high."
"How high?" he asked softly.
"About 200." He started to cry harder and kept rubbing his chest. "What's going on right now? What caused you to panic?"
"I kept thinking about my father and then something took over and I began to freak out. I was scared. In two months I'm going to be a father and that's scary to me. I never wanted to be like my parents and now, I am them, and Roger is going to use it against me."
"How is Roger going to use your children against you?"
"He keeps saying that I am going to leave my children and I won't care for them. I'm excited about being a father but I'm scared because we are in this cabin with nothing but books and Anya."
"I know and everything is going to be okay because in the end Lock and you will have amazing children who you will love and take care of." He nodded and sighed. He stopped rubbing his chest and looked drained by what happened.
"During your panic attacks, did your chest hurt like a boulder was sitting on top of it?"
"No, it never did for me. Maybe you have something more happening than just a panic attack?"
"Like a heart attack?" his eyes widened.
"No!" I yelled and shook my head. "Maybe because you are handling the raw meat and everything you may have come in contact with some bacteria that is causing your muscles to tighten." He nodded. "How about you stop with the hunting and fishing and go relax with Locklyn and Trace? Maybe come up with names for children. You two have very little time left until the babies get here."
"Okay. Thanks Hadley." He hugged me. "You're the best. You are really taking a lot of responsibility also. Helping me with Trace and Lock and how you are here to help me during my panic attack, thanks."
"Welcome, we're a family, family needs to stick together and help each other out." He nodded and we both went inside. He went into the living room to check on Trace and Locklyn and then was in the kitchen getting more fruit for Locklyn.
I finished the laundry and had Locklyn fold it for me. Anya made dinner and we ate in the living room because it's easier for Locklyn and Trace.
"I have to say something and this was supposed to be done at dinner about a week ago, the day I drowned," Trace said. Anya glanced over at him with a slight smile. "Anya and I started dating back in October."
"Whoa, what?!" Locklyn asked surprised. "When in October?"
"October 20th is when we decided to begin dating. We hid our relationship and feelings because we were scared what you three would think. But now it's getting harder to hide and we want to kiss in public, like around you guys," Anya smiled at Trace and he nodded.
"I'm happy for you two," I said.
"Thanks, Hadley," Trace said and wrapped his arm around Anya. "Now the only person to get a boyfriend is Hadley and then it will be complete."
"I will never get one. Who wants to be with me anyway? After all the shit we are going through, I don't even know how I will survive without you four. Locklyn and Cason are having children and you two are going to be right behind them."
"No, we won't. We are taking things slow. We haven't even had sex yet," Trace said and Anya hit him on the arm. "What?"
"Really? I didn't want them to know." Anya turned red in the face and couldn't look us in the eyes.
"Why didn't you want us to know that, Anya?" Locklyn asked. "I flat out told the whole school the first time I had sex with Cason. He was pissed but it doesn't matter because it is a natural thing in life. You want that feeling and when you first experience the rush and euphoria, you keep wanting it and then you seem free."
"I am just embarrassed, okay?"
"Are you afraid of doing it? You never did it before, right?" Cason asked. She nodded staring down into her lap. "I think you girls should talk about this. I don't know how to handle this talk."
"No!" Locklyn yelled. "You are staying because if we have a daughter, you are having this same talk with her, so this is a teaching lesson for you. I won't be the only one explaining to our children what sex is and what could happen." Cason sighed and shook his head a bit. "Anya, don't be afraid of sex. Go slow and easy the first couple times and then when you feel comfortable, go farther. It's not a competition to see who losses their virginity first, it just happens and you shouldn't be embarrassed about it in front of us. Look at Cason and I, we did it on this couch. That was embarrassing, not being a virgin."
"Okay," she whispered.
"And it's nothing special half the time because you just don't want to do it. You have to want it in order to enjoy it," I said.
"Don't feel like I am rushing you because I'm not. If you want to wait until we are married, then fine, I will. I don't want you feeling like you aren't giving me what I want because you are. I have always liked you, Anya. I want you to know that I will never force you into something you aren't comfortable with. I will ask and make sure everything is the way you want it to be." Trace hugged her and kissed her on the lips. "I love ya."
"Love ya too. Thanks guys, this made me feel a little bit better about myself and everything."
"Welcome, Anya," I said.