"I'm finna run down to the casino. Don't open this damn door for nobody." My aunt screamed while slamming the door.
Since my mom was in prison and my dad was murdered, I was forced to live with my Aunt Monique. My Aunt would often come home with strange men she would meet while gambling. She had three boys and one girl, Trinity, who was 15, Donny who was 13, Quan who was 10, and Ricky who was 5. My Aunt lived with her brother James, who was 27. She would normally leave us at home with James, and return late at night. We were on welfare and could barely afford rent each month. I always felt like an outcast in the house. I was only nine years old and I would often imagine having a real family. I normally would picture myself with a family like The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air. The only friend I had was Terry, from down the street. He was also the same age as me. Terry lived with his mom and grandmother.
I sat on the couch watching TV, when I heard James and Donny walking up the small hall. I ignored them and continued focusing on the show.
"What you watching Kerensa?" James asked.
I shrugged my shoulders.
James and Donny walked into the kitchen to find something to eat.
"Ain't shit up in here." James mumbled.
Donny laughed as James complained. When they walked back through the living room, I felt Jame's eyes glued to me. He and Donny continued walking to the back. Ten minutes later, James was calling my name.
"Kerensa!" He called from the back room.
I stood from the couch and reluctantly walked to the back room.
"Huh?" I asked from the door way.
"Pick that up." James motioned towards the remote on the floor.
"But you're right beside it."
"I don't care." He shrugged.
I walked towards the remote and handed it to him. He snatched it from me and stood up, making his way to the door.
"Donny!" He called from the doorway.
Donny quickly ran towards the room. When Donny was inside, James locked the door. He tossed the remote to the floor.
"Pick it up." James demanded again.
I was confused but did as I was told. I passed him the remote and he grabbed me, tossing me onto the twin sized bed.
His large body covered mine as he struggled to pull down my shorts.
"Get off of me! What are you doing?" I screamed.
James ignored me as I continued to scream.
"Stop! Stop it!" I screamed.
I looked over at Donny, who only had a devilish grin on his face. James pulled his pants off and began shoving himself inside of me.
"Ouch! Stop that! It hurts!" I cried.
James pushed inside of me, ripping my small entrance.
"Please stop! You're hurting me! I screamed.
The pain was excruciating as James motioned inside of me, taking my innocence. Tears steamed from my eyes as he thrust wildly.
"Oooh shit. Fuck!" James moaned.
He began to sink his teeth inside of my chest. I cried louder as his teeth pierced my skin. He pulled out of me as his lower half was covered in blood and pulled his pants up.
"Okay Donny, your turn. You need some pussy so you can call yourself a man." James spoke as he wiped the sweat from his face. Donny hurriedly pulled his pants down and walked towards me, forcing himself on me next. The pain was reoccurring. Donny pushed inside of me quickly 5 times before stopping. His body rested on mine and he pulled his pants up. I was raped by my own uncle and cousin.
I laid on the bed as I sobbed.
"Shut the fuck up!" James spat.
I held back my tears.
"You better not tell Monique shit, or we gone put yo ass out on the streets." James spoke staring at me.
He exited the room. Immediately I tried to stand, but felt heavy pains between my legs.
"Ouchh." I cried.
I stood to my feet, pulled my shorts up, and began to walk. I went inside of the small bathroom and locked the door. When I sat on the toilet seat, I pulled my shorts down, and they were full of blood.
Tears poured down my cheeks as I cried silently. I gained enough strength to walk to the tub, and pour my bathwater. After the water was done running, I stripped out of my clothes and sat inside.
When I sat inside of the water, I began to burn intensely. I softly scrubbed between my legs, washing every sore spot. I couldn't bare the pain and soon stepped out of the water. When I looked at the mirror, I noticed bite marks on my undeveloped chest. I put on an oversized t-shit and shorts. After exiting the bathroom, I walked back to the living room and laid on the couch. I cried until I fell asleep.
Later on that night, I felt a hand pushing me.
"Wake up, it's time to eat." Quan spoke as he shoved my body.
I stood up rubbing my sore eyes, and walked to the kitchen.
"Get a paper plate." My Aunt Monique spoke.
She had brought home Chinese food.
I took the plate and she fixed my food. As I took a seat at the table, I noticed James and Donny walk in. I immediately tensed up. I stared at the food, while I tried to avoid eye contact. The two fixed their plates and left the kitchen. Normally, I would be starving, but tonight I did not have much of an appetite. I stared blankly at the plate as I picked at the food.
"What's wrong with you?" Monique asked in an irritated tone.
I shook my head, signaling nothing was wrong.
"You picking at that damn food and ain't ate shit. Take yo lil ungrateful ass in there while you wasting food like you got money." She spat.
I stood from the table and went back into the living room. After grabbing a blanket, I laid back on the couch and drifted to sleep.
The next morning, I got ready for school. Since I lived with so many people, I would normally get the hand-me-down clothes. I walked to the bus stop with my cousins Quan and Ricky. When I saw Terry approaching, I smiled.
"Hey Kerensa!" He spoke holding lunch box.
"Hey, Terry."
We waited until the bus pulled up and stepped on. Terry and I would normally sit together.
"You ready for Christmas?" He asked, eager already.
I shrugged. I wasn't excited at all, I never really got much around that time like all of the other kids.
"I am. I want this bike!" He informed, pulling a folded magazine page out of his pocket.
"That's a nice bike." I smiled, looking off to the window.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing." I lied.
"My mama is cooking today. She wanted you to come over." He spoke.
"You want me to come over." I said laughing.
"Okay, I do. Will you come?"
"Yes."
The school day went by fast, Terry and I weren't in the same class but we would play together at recess. He was the only person who would play with me.
Everyone liked Terry, he was a cool person. When school was out I rushed home to change my clothes, so that I could go to Terry's. When I ran inside, I immediately slowed down after seeing James on the couch.
"Hey Kerensa." He spoke.
I waved my hand, and walked towards the back room to change clothes. I saw blood spots in my panties. After changing, I rushed back down to Terry's house. When I entered, the smell of fresh food hit my nose, causing my stomach to growl.
"Hey Baby." Terry's grandma spoke.
"Hey Grammy." I spoke with a wide smile.
"Give me a hug baby." She replied.
I walked towards her and opened my arms. Her tight hug caused my bruised chest to hurt. I winced in pain.
"You okay?"
"Yes ma'am." I lied.
Terry's mom walked into the living room.
"Hey Kerensa!"
"Hey Ms.Sanders." I greeted, hugging her. "Where's Terry? .
"In the back."
l ran to his room. We watched cartoons and played while the food was cooking. After it was done, Terry and I took our places at the table. Ms.Sanders had cooked rice, baked chicken, string beans, and rolls. My mouth watered as she placed my plate down on the table. Just when Terry and I were about to dig in, Grammy interrupted.
"Uh uh, let's say grace." She spoke.
We all sat at the table and said grace before eating. I felt like I had a real family. The food was hot and delicious. After we were done, we cleaned our mess and went back into the bedroom. Terry and I watched television but I soon began to replay the incident in my head. Tears began to fill my eyes more and more.
"What's wrong?" Terry asked.
I stared at him briefly before speaking.
"If I tell you. Will you promise to keep it a secret?"
"I promise."
I told him the story, which only made him angry. Lifting my shirt to show him the bite marks that covered my chest, he gasped.
Grammy walked into the room.
"Kerensa what.. What happened to your chest baby?"
Tears began to pour down my cheeks.