It had been about one full week since Eric had found out about me and my situation. And, no. We had not patched things up yet.
He was majorly giving me the 'cold shoulder', acting like a stubborn child when it doesn't get what it wants. He was making me feel helpless and stupid. For it was like I was the only one trying to fix things.
I hadn't been in the apartment since we fought and I hadn't talked to him since we fought.
About five days ago I attempted to sit at his table for dinner, along with the guys. But that failed miserably. As soon as I sat down with my food, he stood up with his and walked away, with a blank expression plastered on his face. The guys had asked me what was going on, saying they had noticed Eric wasn't his usual self. But I decided to tell them nothing.
Four days ago we had to attend a meeting with the other Dauntless leaders. We discussed small matters, about the initiates and how they were going with their training. I had suggested some ideas and every time I did Eric either ignored them or he shut them down. Yet again, making me feel helpless and stupid. I was angry about that. How dare he make me look like an idiot in front of my fellow leaders!
Two days ago Jem and Kaden had a small get together in their newly bought apartment. Basically all of our 'gang' was invited, which included Eric. But he didn't come. I remember Jem asking me why Eric hadn't come and me telling her that I did not know why. She had also told me that Eric had approached her before the party asking whether I would be there. So, obviously, Eric chose not to attend because of me.
I hadn't been doing much. A little bit of training and filling out papers. But what I was doing most was missing Eric. But then again, everyday that went by without talking to him I got angrier and angrier.
I woke up this morning to the sound of the dorm room door slamming shut. Ugh. I thought. Another miserable day, coming my way.
But then I had an idea. Instead of sitting around and doing nothing, I thought about getting another piercing or tattoo. Something unique maybe.
I put on a fitted long sleeve shirt and some ripped jeans, did my makeup then headed down to the shopping area of Dauntless.
I had decided to get a piercing, seeing as they hurt less compared to a tattoo and they didn't take up so much time getting done. So I walked into the piercing parlour. And what I saw next really wounded me...
It was Eric. But not just Eric by himself, Eric chatting happily with the same lady who pierced my ears. The lady that had a huge crush on him.
What hurt me was the fact that it seemed as though Eric was flirting with her, as she flirted with him. He was being charming and sexy and I hated him.
I awkwardly stood fixed to the ground, watching the two of them.
Finally they noticed me and they too went quiet. The lady looked at me guiltily.
"I'm here to get another piercing" I began. Suddenly fearing she would be the one to pierce me. "But I don't want you to do it" I finished.
She looked taken aback, but then she lead me into a private room where I laid eyes on one of my best friends... Amy Raymond.
"You can take care of her" the lady said to Amy before she walked away, returning to Eric probably.
"Amy! Oh my gosh!" I said. So happy that she could now 'pierce' people.
"I know!" she said back excitedly.
We shared a joyful hug and then I sat in a large chair as she asked me what I wanted pierced.
"My belly button" I announced confidently. In a way, convincing myself to go for it.
"Ooooh sexy" she replied. "I'm sure Eric will love that" she winked.
I didn't reply to her and instantly she knew something was up. So while she got to work on me I told her almost everything. I just left out the fact that the fight we had was about me being divergent.
Amy finished up and I looked in the full length mirror opposite us, admiring my belly piercing. She was right, it was sexy but maybe Eric wouldn't appreciate that at all. As I played with the diamond piercing, all the while still looking in the mirror, Eric walked into the room. Awkward silence yet again, as I stared at him through the mirror. He too looked at me through the mirror, his eyes shifting down my figure and landing on the new addition to my body.
He looked back at me after studying it. And he gave me some sort of look that I could not translate. I don't think Amy could either, she looked utterly confused as Eric left the room silently.
We both frowned at each other and I shrugged in despair.
"Ok. Seriously Eliza, you need to do something about this!" Amy spoke up. "I hate to see you so... so... different" she finished.
"Yeah but how am I meant to sort things out with him when he won't even listen" I argued.
"Hunny, I know you so well and if there's one thing I know, it's that you always have ways to make people listen to you. Just approach him, somewhere private, and talk this shit out!" Amy replied exasperatedly.
I was now standing at Eric's apartments door. Anxious.
I knocked and the door swung open almost immediately, as if he was expecting me. But of course, he probably wasn't. So, I waited for the part where he slams the door shut on me, not letting me in.
But this time he opened the door wider, moving his body out of the door way, letting me make my way inside. Oh my gosh. I said to myself. It was actually happening. After a week of not talking we were about to share words with each other. I was anticipating a lot of arguing but I was hoping in the end we could get past all the hatred.
"Why have I been ignoring you!?" Eric asked sarcastically, repeating what I had asked him.
We were in the lounge room. Both standing, not feeling comfortable enough to sit.
"I've been ignoring you because I'm still not over the fact that you're divergent" he answered, almost whispering the word 'divergent'.
"And I understand that, but bloody hell! You don't know how weak and hopeless you have been making me look and feel!" I shouted. My bloody boiling.
"What I want to know is why you even bothered being in a fuckin' relationship with me! You know what I do to divergent's" Eric yelled, not taking in what I had just said. I was glad these walls were practically sound proof.
"Because I liked you that much, that I didn't even care what you would do to me if you found out! I didn't care whether you killed me" I replied honestly. Pleading him to believe me.
He was speechless. So I continued to talk.
"But if you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, that's fine!" I said, being sarcastic. "Go ahead and be with that stupid lady from the piercing shop. I don't care".
He rubbed his face with both hands. "What are you going on about?" his voice droned.
"Umm..." I began, looking at him as if he was an idiot. "Do you not recall me ruining your little flirting sesh?" I questioned him. Still looking at him as if he was stupid.
He let one, sarcastic chuckle come out of his mouth. "You thought I was flirting with her?"
"Well... yeah!" I replied.
"You know what Eliza!" he began, sitting down on the couch. "You are so busy complaining that I don't like you as much as you like me that you can't even see the things I do for you! You are so fucking self centred".
"Well your just as self centred as I am!" I yelled, trying to hurt him as much as he hurt me. But it didn't work. He just sat their lousily.
He had given up on talking. He was back to ignoring me.
I slowly crumpled down onto the soft carpet. Sitting cross legged, head bent down.
"If I could change I would" I sighed. "I hate feeling so different and I hate the fact that I don't fit into one, single faction" I softly spoke, trying to keep the tears from falling out of my eyes. I looked up to him. He was looking at me. I looked back down at my feet. "And I know you think I'm too weak and sensitive and not brave enough. But the reason I feel this way is because of you. You are strong and tough and you are the bravest person I know. You have lost people you love and still you manage to appear resilient and you still manage to run an entire faction" I mumbled on. Not really knowing what I was trying to accomplish. "I'd give anything... Anything for you to love me again".
All of a sudden he stood up, walked around the coffee table and sat on the ground opposite me, cross legged. And for one split second it felt as though we were in primary school. Sitting opposite each other as best friends. He looked at me blankly, so un-readable. I had no idea whether he would say something sweet or horrifying. Eventually, he spoke...
"Your an idiot if you ever thought I stopped loving you" he revealed before leaning forward and kissing me. "But your my idiot" he said after our kiss, smiling. I laughed, not knowing if I was sobbing though. Because I felt so happy. So happy that we were able to make up.
He was now up on his knees, cradling my face in his large hands as he was kissing me lustfully.
He then stood up, bringing me with him. Our lips connecting again.
"Jump" he mumbled against my lips. So I did. My legs wrapped around his torso and my arms slung around his neck.
We continued to 'smooch' as he walked us into the bedroom. Butterflies fluttering wildly in my stomach.
He laid me on the bed, still kissing my hungrily.
And you know what happened next . . .