Are people still even reading this?? I hope so I have big plans :))))))
—
"Are you sure about this?" He gazed at the small white capsule that rested in the palm of his hand, and then back at the girl who sat next to him in his car. She gave him a dopey smile, nodding her but effectively dizzying herself too. Vic wasn't sure if he wanted to take the pill, he was unsure of what exactly it was. He figured it was ecstasy, but still he wasn't positive. Jenna had popped the thing like it was candy, ensuring Vic that "nothing would go wrong," and yet he couldn't help but get a bad feeling in his stomach.
He shrugged his shoulders, making up his mind. "Fuck it." He said and then he threw the pill back too. Maybe Vic was getting in a bit too deep with the drugs, but he figured he hadn't done anything wrong yet. Or made a bad decision. It's not like Vic was abusing the substances. At least that's what he thought.
What he didn't realize was that with every use he was only pulling himself in deeper. He was going to drown into the blackened abyss that was drugs and he didn't notice it. For now, he was okay. He was great. And at first, he felt uncomfortable taking the pill, but now, now he felt great. Maybe tomorrow he'd hang out with Jenna again, and then see if he can get a fight. But Vic wasn't really focused on that, they had just pulled up to a drive through.
"Wake the fuck up." The bright flourescent light filtered in from the doorway, blinding Kellin. His eyes fluttered opened as he sat up in bed, lifting an arm to shield himself. He tried to look at the blurred figure standing in the doorway, failing. It didn't take him too long to place the voice though; it was Tony.
"Looks like we figured out what we want you to be." He said, smirking as he paced in front of Kellin's bed, staring directly into his eyes. Fear clouded Kellin, a knot twisting it's way down his throat and into his stomach. What would this mean for him?
"You'll be our little dirty dancer." He gave him a malicious grin, leaning on the bed. He grabbed Kellin by the ankles and pulled him closer. Kellin yelped, he struggled to get away, but he was too late. Tony's hands slithered up his legs towards his thighs, where he kept Kellin down by. His breathing was hard as he stared up at Tony, his fists clenched the sheets beside him.
"But for me," he started, "you'll be my little whore." Dread coursed through Kellin, the hair on his arms standing on end. Instinctively, he tried scooting further back on the bed, to press himself against the headboard and curl into himself, but Tony's grip was just too strong. Tony smirked at Kellin, he was practically undressing him with his eyes. His nails dug into Kellin's thighs, causing him to whimper. Tony pushed his hips against Kellin's, loving the way he writhed around underneath him, how he squirmed.
"We're gonna have so much fun together." Stomach churning in fear, eyes squeezed shut together almost painfully, heart pounding in his throat. He turned his head away. Tony's lips danced across the flesh of Kellin's neck, leaving the tingling feeling of anxiety creeping up his throat.
"Seriously, Jenna, I just wanna say thanks for helping me out." Vic said, shrugging his shoulders. Jenna just laughed and patted Vic's arm. "But, if I want some more, should I start paying you?" Vic asked her. Jenna shook her head at him. Instead, she reached into the pockets of her jacket and pulled out two small bags. One held more pills, and the other one the addictive white powder Vic had grown accustomed to in such a short period of time.
Vic parked the car and sat still for a moment. Then he turned his head to look at Jenna. She offered him the two bags, keeping them in her grasp. Vic mentally weighed down his options. Why was it that now he started to question whether this was actually the type of lifestyle he wanted? He was unsure of whether to take the bags or just deny the drugs this one time. Of course this was what he wanted. He had no reason to be second guessing himself now. He was in too deep.
He reached towards her and gabbed the bags, sending a small smile in thanks her way. He shoved them into his pants pocket, saying goodbye to Jenna as she left out his car. Now it was just him and his thoughts as he drove home. He considered calling Eddie for a fight, but he felt too drained to do it. His eyes were red and glazed over, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel. He couldn't wait to get home so he could have another go at the things that were slowly destroying him. But he didn't see it that way. Vic thought of them as temporary things to subside his thoughts and to keep him company for awhile. He saw no wrong in what he was doing. He didn't see right, either.
As he sat in his car and stared at the house in front of him, his house, he contemplated going in. He knew Jaime would be home, he'd grown accustomed to his schedule. But he also knew Jaime would give him shit for going back out and leaving. But his stuff was in the house so he wasn't just going to neglect it for Jaime. Without another thought, he got out of the car and walked the few steps it was to the door.
But then he got an idea. He hadn't been to work for so long and he was tired of ignoring the calls. Although the offices were closing in about an hour Vic still felt like he had enough time to do what he was about to do. He went back into his car and revved the engine, backing out of the driveway. He didn't live too far from work and he was grateful. But now, he didn't really care too much.
As he parked in front of the building, he thought over what he was going to say to Drew, his boss, when he saw him. Surely he'd be upset, probably furious. But as far as he knew Kellin had just stopped showing up to work because he didn't want to see him anymore.
He marched in and straight past the receptionist who called out multiple times for him. He burst into Drew's office, ignoring the fact that he was probably taking advantage of the newest intern. He yanked him off the smaller man and stared him in the eyes. Drew stared back just as harshly
"You know," he chuckled, "you were always such a fucking asshole." Vic said, every ounce of playfulness gone from his voice. Drew smirked at him, even when Vic clenched his shirt tighter in his grasp. He rolled his eyes.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Fuentes?"
Vic ignored him and instead brought his fist up to punch him square in the jaw. The other boy gasped and rushed out the room, knowing that that wasn't something he wanted to interfere with. "God, you don't know how long I've been wanting to do that." Vic spoke, his eyes cold and distant.
Drew got up and hit Vic right back which was a mistake on his part. In anger, Vic hit Drew again and again and again until he was nothing but a heap on the floor.
"This is for being an asshole," his foot came down on his stomach, "this is for always treating everyone like shit," again, his foot came down on his ribs, draining all the air from his lungs, "and this is for Kellin, because he's missing and all you wanted to do was get in his pants!" With one final kick, Drew rolled over and spit blood out onto the dingy tiles of his office floor. The scarlet color made an impression against the stained white tiles.
"I fucking quit." He seethed, storming out of the building and ignoring the bruise forming on his jaw. He had to bite his lip to stop from attacking the receptionist who still called out to him and threatened him with security. He flicked her off as he exited, going straight to his car.
As he sat in the driver's seat drumming his fingers against the wheel, he realized that he was still angry and worked up. He slammed his hand against the horn, causing several heads to turn in his direction. He simply ignored them as he pulled off the curb and peeled down the road.
"Are you okay? You're shaking." Alan commented when he saw Kellin. It was later in the day, not that either of them knew that, and the sky was beginning to darken. When Tony had come in, he had made sure not to take things any farther then just groping and kissing. Kellin had squirmed underneath his touch.
Luckily for him, Tony wasn't the type to kiss on the lips. The whole ordeal still had Kellin trembling as he hid his body deep underneath the thin sheets. He turned on his side to hide away from Alan. He lightly shoved Kellin's leg, he felt for him. He knows what it's like to be in Kellin's position. After all, he did used to be the favorite. He knew how they'd start off. How Tony would start off. He'd slowly lure Kellin into doing more and more things. That is, unless Kellin refused. If he refused to cooperate then Tony would just force himself on him. And Tony didn't want that.
It's not that he cared. He just didn't want a struggle.
"Come on, Kellin. We gotta go. Trust me that tonight nothing will happen between you and Tony." Alan's gaze drifted away from Kellin, "But I can't promise you about the next few days after that." Guilt pitted his stomach. Those days for him were tortuous and he felt horrible that all of that had to be passed onto Kellin. He didn't get a say in the choices. If he did, he'd rather Tony still use him than Kellin.
Kellin sniffled, wiping away at his wet eyes. He turned to look at the ceiling, counting the cracks. When he finally pushed himself to get up, he pulled Alan into a hug. He just needed to feel the arms of someone who wasn't a potential threat to him. Alan hugged him back, but only briefly. He pushed him back by the shoulder softly.
"Kells, I'm sorry. I know I'm one of the only people who you can trust down here, but try not to get too attached. In any moment, I could be gone. I fear one of those days are close. I just-" He couldn't bring himself to finish talking, his voice cracking.
"I'm sorry." He told him. Kellin only shook his head at Alan. "Don't worry about it. We'll get out of here together. Promise." The two shared hopeful smiles, although each one was probably painted on with fake plaster. They couldn't help that one per cent chance that maybe there was hope.
The two dressed as they had the other times. Tonight's color was angel white. It seemed each night had a different theme. Kellin lips, however, stayed ruby red. The two remained barefoot, the cold cement floor sent child scattering up their spines. They followed the body guards in silence, watching as they positioned themselves outside the door.
The aura at these, these after parties never seemed to die out. Everyone always seemed so energetic, lively, and high. The use of narcotics never seemed to be passed by. Everyone was always passing them out, taking them, selling them. Every action that would take place there had to involve drugs. The only people unassociated with them were the dancers. And the majority of them were dying to get their hands on them.
They were poisonous, but they couldn't help but want them.
Kellin couldn't even be bothered with trying to pull the fabric farther down his thighs. He realized it'd be useless. He and Alan stood off in a separate corner, watching everyone with mysterious, dark eyes. The lights were dimmed enough so you wouldn't notice their gazes. Not long into the party, they were interrupted by an approaching figure.
"Tony," Alan announced, throwing his gaze to the floor, Kellin following suite. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, a lone cigarette dangling from his lips.
"Kellin, it's time." He told him, walking off towards the room from the previous night. Trembles scoured Kellin's body. His heart sped up and his hands went clammy. His shaky legs barely held him up, using the wall behind him more for support.
So soon? Alan thought. He didn't start being used until maybe two or three days after. Then again, he was prostituting and not dancing. On very rare occasions did Tony make him dance. He wanted to grab Kellin and pull him back towards safety but, by the time he could, they were out of reach. He had to remind himself not to get too attached. One day, soon, he won't be able to be around to get attached. It was just the way Tony had things set up. And what Tony says, goes.
As he walked, Kellin felt like every pair of eyes in the room was on him. He took a deep breath through his nose, digging his nails into his palms. The deep breath did nothing for him as his breathing went ragged. Tony held the door open for him, but that did nothing to soothe his nerves. Would it just be Tony and himself in the room? Would others be in there to watch? Would they be private dances? All of these questions clouded Kellin's mind, but he didn't dare voice his thoughts.
Cautiously, he stepped into the room. Tony turned to him, slid his gaze down Kellin's body, and snapped his fingers. A girl came into the room quickly with her head down and something in her hands. With her head bowed, she gave him the fabric and then retreated from the room just as quickly as she came.
"Here, put this on." Tony handed the fabric to Kellin. It was the same color as what he had on. Only this was more revealing. The cloth felt odd in between his fingers. It felt scratchy. Nevertheless though he began to undress cautiously in front of Tony. The man wouldn't have given him a choice as to where he wanted to dress anyways. He probably would've undressed him himsel if needed. Speedily, Kellin worked to pull the material up his body.
Embarrassment flooded him as he looked down at the skimpy outfit adorning his body. He'd do anything to just be able to go home and relax with Vic in some sweatpants and a tee shirt. Kellin always showed skin here. The only time he ever felt shielded from the eyes of people was when he was in the room he claimed as his, underneath the sheets.
"Now get the fuck up there and dance." Tony snapped, walking towards a chair. As Kellin slowly walked towards the same damned pole as last time, other people filed into the room. As he gripped the steel pole, Tony stopped him.
"Now, gentlemen, which one of you are going to pay to watch dear Angel here dance? Beware though, if your price is too low, you'll be kicked out. If your price is too high, then your welcomed to stay." He finished, a sadistic smile on his face.
Bids were placed, money was exchanged. The person who had won tonight was some man who looked to be in his thirties. His eyes seemed hooded in the dark room, but his bright hair stood out. There was no doubt this man was attractive, scratchy voice and all, but Kellin couldn't help but feel disgusted at the idea of dancing for him. It made Kellin feel disgusting himself. He felt like he was cheating on Vic, that he was being unfaithful but there was nothing he could do.
"Are you gonna dance for me, or what?" The man asked. All the others had been escorted out of the room, except for Tony who had taken his place behind the glass wall. He stayed there to make sure nothing went wrong. That and he couldn't deny that he wanted to witness Kellin at work.
Dread filled Kellin's core. The man with the bright red hair sat patiently with one leg lifted onto the other knee, arms folded comfortably. He didn't seem to be in a rush and Kellin was thankful. But from the bang on the glass, he figured Tony wasn't too grateful. The man in the chair rolled his eyes. Kellin couldn't tell whether it was for him or Tony but he didn't want to find out. He swung one leg up over the pole and moved his body.
He physically felt ill at the thought of having to do this for the rest of who knows how long. Because he felt like he wouldn't be able to take much more. But what Kellin didn't know was that his torture had only begun. Things were yet to get worse.
The man watched with sharp eyes, focused on Kellin's slim body. He was remembering every detail of his face, every mole, every freckle. The boy seemed scared, that much Gerard could tell. Gerard too felt ill at having to be in his current position, watching this boy fall apart at the seems. But he had to be there. It was his job. And there was no one else willing to dig that deep into the business, to be caught right in the heart of it. But he had to if he wanted to rescue anybody. So he sat through the entire dance, pretending to pay attention. He had much to report back. But he couldn't crack down on it yet. He had to wait. He just had to.