Categories: Angst/Daddybats
Warning: Eating Disorder
***
The smell of the gravy that drizzled over the steamy vegetables, mashed potatoes and pork sausages made Dick's empty stomach beg for food.
"It looks really good Alfie! But I promised the team that I'd eat with them." He lied.
"Well you should have told us before Alfred made you food. Sit down." Bruce ordered.
Dick gulped and did as he was told. There was no getting out of it now. He'd just have to take a trip to the toilet after he'd finished.
He hung his head over the toilet bowl after he'd finished emptying the contents of his stomach. It started about a month ago by accident. He was sleeping in, which resulted in no breakfast. Then there was lunch. The school bully decided it was time to steal the smallest kid's money. He could've just asked for a packed lunch. But he didn't want to hassle Alfred anymore than he did.
He started to like that gnawing feeling in his abdomen when he didn't eat. And when he did eat, it felt disgusting. So he'd quickly vomit it back up. But it was getting hard to hide. His stomach didn't exactly agree with his decision and growled all the time.
The weekends were the hardest. If he didn't bring any money to school, he couldn't eat. But being stuck at home all day with a kitchen full of food was hard.
"Would you like me to prepare dinner Master Richard?" Alfred asked.
"No thanks." Dick replied, not looking away from the TV.
Alfred stood in front of the flat screen. "Master Dick, have you eaten anything today?"
He couldn't escape the eye contact. "Um... no. Okay... maybe I will have something."
Alfred smiled and left to prepare a sandwich.
Dick picked at it and only ate small bites while the butler watched.
"Did you need anything?" He swallowed a piece.
"No," Alfred paused. "I just want to see you eat."
"What?!" He tried to act like he didn't know what he was talking about.
"I haven't seen you eat in a few days."
Dick pushed the plate with half a sandwich left to the side of him. "Why's that strange? I've been out for dinner and I've ate snacks for lunch. Which was what I was going to do today Alfie. I'm perfectly fine and whelmed."
***
Kid Flash was talking to Robin at a hundred miles per second. But he wasn't taking any of it in because of his painful headache. He was thankful for when Batman walked in and debriefed them.
But he didn't hear any of that either.
Robin felt like he was standing on that bottom of the seabed. Everything around him moved slow. Batman's deep, monotone voice was nothing but a muffled noise. He tried to focus on his mentor. But the more he tried, his vision blurred.
Suddenly it was like gravity got 10x stronger.
"Rob!" Kid Flash caught him before he hit the floor.
"Urgh," Robin grunted and let KF sit him down.
Everyone gathered around the dazed teenager.
"Give him some space," Batman told the team who had created a claustrophobic circle around the Boy Wonder.
"Robin, are you okay?" Batman crouched down.
He relaxed into KF's arms. "I just got a little dizzy, that's all. M'fine."
"Dude are you sure?" The speedster asked. "You look like death."
Robin nodded and asked him to help him up. KF stood up first, then grabbed his best friend's boney wrist.
He frowned at him, but didn't say anything.
"Robin, sit this one out." Batman ordered.
"I just got a bit light headed! I'm fine now!"
"Robin," he pointed to the door.
Once finishing the debriefing, he followed Robin out.
***
"How are you feeling?" Bruce pushed Dick into the kitchen.
"I'm fine. I could've have gone on the mission."
Alfred smiled when the duo entered. He had made Dick some toast and left out a bottle of water for him.
He gulped down the water but refused to touch the toast. "I'm not hungry."
"Dick," Bruce pushed the plate towards him. "You almost fainted. You need to eat something. Even if its just a little."
"No, I'm okay."
That was when Bruce really looked at his son for the first time in months. He noticed the way he clothes drowned him and how much paler he'd become.
"Dickie have you eaten anything today?" Bruce tried to get closer to him. But Dick hopped off the chair and backed away.
He nodded.
"You're lying." Bruce stated. "When was the last time you ate!? What was it? ... God, I've been so stupid."
"I-I," Dick could see the concern in both of their faces. "I don't know."
"Eat," he pointed at the toast. "Eat now."
Dick sat back down and ate every last bite. He couldn't understand why they were so worried. So what? He hadn't been eating much. No biggie. People have small diets.
There was a small voice inside his head.
But people don't make themselves barf up what they just ate.
"Richard, we need to weigh you." Bruce wasn't even asking anymore.
He was definitely underweight.
Dick gulped. He didn't think it was a problem. He was just skipping meals... and sometimes forcing it back out.
"I'm taking you to see Leslie first thing."
"No!" He hated the doctors. "I'll eat 3 meals a day! Please don't make me!"
"Richard this is serious! You can't just make it go away! We need medical advice!" Bruce was already typing in her phone number.
Dick didn't stop. He continued to plead.
"Fine," he finally said. "But you're having REGULAR meetings with Dinah. And your weight will be checked every week."
"I don't need a shrink."
"Are you sure? Because you almost developed an eating disorder." Bruce shook his head.
"It was an accident." Dick still didn't see how serious it was.
"Dickie, you consciously made the decision to stop eating. If you won't see Leslie, talk to Dinah."
After he nodded, Bruce pulled him into a hug. He winced as he felt every single one of Dick's ribs. But he didn't let go.
***
He hadn't been in a one-to-one meeting with Dinah since the training mission.
"So what have you eaten today?" Her voice snapped him out of his daze.
"Oh, um, just a sandwich."
"No breakfast?" She was surprised Bruce let him skip it.
He shrugged. "Well I was here. And there wasn't any bread."
"How did you make the sandwich?"
Busted.
"You don't need to lie to me, Dick. Everything that's said in here is between us." She said warmly.
"I thought I was just skipping meals because I didn't have time. I mean that's how it started anyway. But now, I actually don't want to eat."
"Why?"
Good question. He didn't really know himself. Being an acrobat, he'd always had a good diet. He had to. It wasn't about hating his body.
"You said this started about a month ago?" She already knew the answer to that. "Right after the training mission went wrong."
"But I didn't stop eating on purpose! It was nothing to do with that!" Robin continued to tell himself that.
"Are you sure?" Dinah didn't believe it, even if he did.
"After about a week, I liked having the constant dull feeling in my stomach."
Finally they were getting somewhere. "Why?"
He sighed. "It was a way I could tell I was here I guess. I know that it will never happen again. But I couldn't shake the feeling that reality, wasn't reality. So having a constant reminder that this is real, gave me comfort."
She didn't realize it had affected him that much.
"Oh," he bit his lip. Maybe he did have a problem.
"Richard, that will never happen again. We won't let it. And if the day does eventually come and there is another similar training mission like that, you won't have to go on it."
He wrapped his arms around himself. "Do I have to go see Leslie?"
"Not if you manage to keep your weight up. Which I have no doubts that you will. We all believe in you. But I would like another meeting with you, if that's okay?"
Dick nodded. He needed her.