Chapter 12
"Alex, be mine," he whispers barely touching my lips, "Be my girlfriend,"
Before I know what I'm doing, I smiling wider than I ever had, pulling his lips down to meet mine once again. Slowly moving our lips he begins to lift up.
"Yes," I whisper just so he could hear. Not that there's anyone else to hear. His smile grows and grows until I don't think it could be possible to smile bigger.
His head falls into my neck and begins to kiss all over, giggling uncontrollably, his crazy kisses come around to meet my lips finally. As his tongue meets my lips asking for entrance, I slowly open my mouth. He picks me up as he rolls over not breaking our amazing kiss, now I'm straddling his waist.
As we break, needing air I nuzzle my head into his neck. "I don't think I've been this happy," I whisper.
"I can't wait to make you happier," he whispers back making my heart melt to pieces. I just keep falling harder and harder for this guy.
For the rest of the day we took random pictures of each other, stealing hugs and kisses from each other.
"Sweet Cheeks there's a nice restaurant in town, want to go out of dinner?"
"I have nothing to wear," I look up at him, as we cuddle on the couch, with some reality tv show playing, but neither of us is paying attention to it.
"You always have something to wear," he chuckles while playing with a strand of my hair, "and you look good in all of it,"
I blush furiously at his statement, and hit him in the chest lightly leaving my hand on his toned stomach. He quickly grabs it and entwines our fingers.
"What time do you want to go, because it's already six," I ask looking into his deep blue eyes. He looks at me almost as if he's getting lost.
"Let's leave here by seven," he puts his arm around the back of the couch.
"Okay well, I'm going to have a shower and get ready," I say beginning to get up, to only be pulled back down and harassed with kisses.
"I'll never get used to doing that to you," he chuckles letting me get up. As soon as I get up I bend down and kiss his soft lips.
"You should pick out an outfit that I should wear, while I'm in the shower," I smile, he just nods and smiles back. He's so sweet. Bending down to peck his lips again, I can't believe hes my boyfriend.
Getting in the shower is probably the hardest thing to do when you can't step on one foot. Showering as fast as I can I shut the shower off and reach for my towel. Quickly learning that I forgot to grab one I hear Shane in the bedroom. I can't just run out there soaking wet and get a towel and run back in.
"Shane," I yell to see if he replies. He comes to the door and opens it a tiny bit. Until he realizes that the curtain is hiding me. He's only wearing boxers, and he's toned body is exposed.
"Yes Sweet Cheeks?"
"I forgot to get a towel," I mumble awkwardly looking at him as he starts to shake his head and walk back out of the bathroom, but quickly reappearing seconds later with a white towel.
"Thank you," I sweetly thank him. Reaching for it, but he yanks it back before I can grab it almost moving the shower curtain that would expose me.
"Shane!" I scream and he gives in and hands it to me, laugh he shuts the door. I begin to dry off, walking into our room, I see that he picked out two outfits and put them out on the bed for me.
One is a reddish knitted sweater with leggings, good choice.
The other is a t-shirt and jeans. Yeah that one isn't happening.
"Shane what are you wearing?" I ask he as he apears out of the closet wearing jeans that aren't done up, and no shirt.
"This shirt and jeans," he grabs a red plaid shirt from in the closet. "Is that good?" He asks for my approval.
Walking up to him and kissing him passionately, he drops the shirt holds on the my waist. I put one hand on the side of his neck and the other to hold up my towel. "Its great. Now I'm going to get ready,"
"Did I tell you you're beautiful?" He asks as I approach the washroom door. "Because you really are,"
"You're not to bad yourself," I smile back at him and he flashes his famous smirk.
After blowdrying, and straightening my hair, I finish my make up and walk out to meet a very handsome Shane, wearing his usual washed out dark jeans and a top he never wears, a plaid button up.
"Looks beautiful," he says kissing my cheek. I grab my knee high black boots. Only needed one because the other is wearing an annoying cast.
"Stupid cast ruins it though," I say zipping on the one boot.
"You pull it off though," he grabs my hand walking down the stairs. Outside is dark, and the cool air hits my skin. We both decided that it wasn't cold enough to wear jackets. We're quite stupid.
He reach his truck and he opens the door for me, helping me in.
Once we reach the restaurant, he helps me out and wraps his arm around my waist. We walk in and the smell of steak overflows my senses.
"For two, please," Shane says to the guy standing at the counter. I feel Shane's grip on me tighten, and I look up at him and see he's stairing at the host, who happens to be scanning my body up and down. He was short brown hair, small freakles on his face.
"Just a moment please," he says smiling.
"He was looking at you," Shane whispers as I turn around to face him. Both of his hands, resting on my sides.
"And I'm only looking at you," I whisper back up to him and he automatically smiles back down, kissing me lips, but before he could do it again, the host comes back and leads us to our table I'm the far back corner. Before the host leaves, he sends me a wink before walking away. Can't he see that I'm with someone? Shane notices because he stairs him down until he's out of sight.
"Have you eaten here before?" I ask reading the menu, trying to change his mood.
"Yeah, a couple times," he smiles up at me showing that I've succeeded.
After he orders for the both of us, he just talk. Enjoying each other's presence. I can't believe we're finally dating. Me, Alex dating this insanely hot guy sitting in front of me.
The food choice was delicious, and Shane insisted that we share a desert.
"What about this cheese cake thing," he points at the picture on the front of the menu.
"What about the special where you get three portions of different ones," I point out noticing the offer. "We could get the cheese cake, chocolate cake, and another one you want,"
"Perfect,"
In the end we go cheese cake, chocolate cake and warm brownies.
"Thank you," I thank him, looking down at our entwined hands, walking out of the restaurant. It's completely insane how he wants me to be his girlfriend.
"Of course Sweet Cheeks," he kisses my temple.
The cool October wind is gone, and the warm air feels beautiful. The town is on the lake too. The relection from all the cabins is beautiful.
Taking a seat on a picnic table facing the water, Shane sits down next to me.
"Do you like it around here?" He asks, stairing blanking out into the water.
"I really do, it's beautiful. If only life was always this beautiful," my comment automatically brings the mood down, I begin to feel bad.
"There has to be bad times to make the better ones shine brighter," he counters.
"True," I agree. Looking into his bright blue eyes, even in the dark they shine and I can't help but relate him to the discussion we just had. Even through the darkness, something that is bright in your life and change in around dramatically in barely two months. He's my new light to brighten up my darkened world.
"How have you been?" He asks softly, just above a whisper making his voice sound like the autumn gust of wind that just passed.
I know exactly what he means by 'how have you been?' He means, 'you haven't self harmed since the last time, have you?' I can't tell him that I did it again. He would be angry with me, he won't want to be with me anymore. He'll just pity me more. Is that why he's dating me now? 'Cause he pities me? I hope not because I'm falling like crazy for this man who is seated next to me, our thighs touching, his arm leaning back behind me. It was about five days ago, and I just had the complete urge to get the emotional pain out. After I did it I knew I made the horrible mistake again, I ended up crying more. He doesn't deserve me. I'm not even stable.
"Alex?" Shane snaps me out of my thoughts by grabbing my waist and pulling me into him. I look up at him with a questioning look, "you got really pale are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm okay," I stutter, looking out at the water, trying to avoid the bitter question that lies between us.
"Have you been okay?" He asks again, I look down and begin to wonder if I should tell the truth. Our relationship just started and I don't want to mess it up.
"Shane," I whisper, the huge lump in my throat begins the rise and tears in my eyes form.
"Alex, you did it again didn't you," disappointment clear is in voice. I'm such a disappointment.
"I'm sorry," I cry tears freely falling now, I couldn't stop if I tried. It starts to get hard to breath, Shane's scent fills my nose.
"Let's go back," he gets up, leaving me there crying. He waits for me to meet him by his side, I make my way next to him.
The walk back to his truck was quiet, he never held my hand, nor did he try and talk to me. The same went for the ride. My tears haven't stopped. The loud truck stops at the end of the drive way beside the giant cabin. We both get out and close our doors at the same time. Once he opens the door, he walks in and turn to close the door and lock it, when I turn back he's already reached the top of the stairs and going into the bedroom.
I slowly make my way up and I stop at the top and break down in tears again. I walk into the room, Shanes beautiful figure is laying on the bed with his eyes closed and his hands laced through his blonde thick hair. His eyes tightly closed, he takes a deep breath, to let out a shaky one.
Before I know what I'm doing I climb up on the bed sit cross legged nexted to his laid out body. He takes another deep breath, to let out a repeating shaky one.
"Why did you do it again?" He asks voice quiet and shaky, with his eyes still closed he rubs them the his left hand.
"I felt like I had to," I explain barely audible. "Everything just gets so built up emotionally that I can't take it anymore, and I want to explode to be able to feel pain a different way other than it all on the inside," I cry, it's getting harder to breath. I begin to get up, but he grabs my arm.
Turning to look at him his blue eyes are bloodshot and looks like he was crying. He pulls me down to lay with him, nuzzling my head in his neck, he's holding my body tight.
"What was bothering you?" He dares to ask.
My eyes shut tightly, tears still releasing. "I let my team down by fracturing my foot, I'm captain I'm always supose to be the leader be able to help and support people. I can't play for another two weeks at least! Then I haven't been there for Shanelle at all, he Grandmother just died and I didn't even know until three days after the funeral. I wasn't there for my bestfriend, when she's always there for me. School is crazy busy, with professors that think you have all the time in the world to do whatever they want. And look at me, I'm a mess, I'm so ugly and fat. This stupid fractured foot is going out if shape and I'll lose being captain. And now I ruined our first date together, I just always ruin everything." I ramble about the things that are bothering me. That pushed me over the edge.
Shane then sat up, his bloodshot eyes hovering over mine, he looks down at my lips before meeting my eyes again. "Sweet Cheeks, I'm going to help you, I want to help fix your broken and bruised self. I want to fix you piece by piece, until you realize that you are perfect and beautiful, just the way you are," he explains, before planting a kiss on my lips.