Hi guys for some reason writing this gave me really bad anxiety, I honestly have no idea why. That’s one of the reasons why it took me a while to update another one is that I just kept trying to make it perfect, kept trying to rewrite it to get the emotions & feeelings of Andy just right, & I wanted to make sure it was going in the right direction so yeah, but here it is (:
This chapter is dedicated to @timeandtimeagain1 for commenting on the last chapter with a really great song called Battle Scars by Guy Sebastian & Lupe Fiasco. it really desrcibes Masons struggle with dealing with his feelings for Andy so you should listen to it over there---->
if anyone else knows of any other good songs that relates to my story or any of the characters comment & let me know :)
Also if any of you have a favorite line from this chapter or if you post a comment that reallly is something diferent than anything else i've heard i want to dedicate my next chapter to you...
every single comment & vote really makes me soo happy & i honestly appreciate you all for reading and enjoying my story, thank you so much... :)
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It didn’t take long to find Mason, but in those few minutes my heart felt like it was going to drop in the pit of my stomach…just waiting to see the damage I’ve caused.
But as soon as we drove a few blocks down on to the dimly lighted empty corner and I saw Masons car crashed up against the tree I thought I was going to die…
I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t speak…I was frozen…
I could hear the distant screams of Rob trying to get me to move, but it was impossible. I could even hear the sirens approaching the dark corner where I stood…but I still couldn’t move.
My eyes were glued to the wreck in front of me…
After a few moments I fell to the ground on to my knees sobbing uncontrollably as I watched the paramedics and the police surround the car trying to get Mason out without hurting him.
My heart was racing and every part of me was shaking…I was losing control with every second that passed.
It was as if everything was moving so fast around me and I couldn’t grasp onto one moment. My world was going by and I was just watching it unfold, watching it fall apart.
All I could remember is screaming as loudly as I possibly could when I watched Mason lay so helplessly on the gurney with blood covering his face and a brace around his neck, strapped on to the bed.
I just kept screaming, because that was the only thing I could do. The only way I was going to survive…
My best friend, my lifeline, my everything, was going to die…and it was all my fault.
Rob tried to shake me out of my trance but it was impossible, he tried to hold me and comfort me…but it was no use. I could feel my whole body being drained of everything as the realization set in.
Rob called my brothers immediately after he dialed 9-11. They arrived just as they were lifting Mase into the ambulance. My brothers and Rob exchanged words but I couldn’t understand them, and I didn’t care…
Because all I kept thinking about was how I’d rather it be me in that accident then him…how I’d rather be fighting for my life than trying to hold onto my sanity.
After Rob left in the ambulance took all 5 of them to get me in the car, well that’s what they said because I don’t remember a thing.
I just remembering his lifeless body, my screaming, and the tears that wouldn’t stop…
They continued to fall down my cheek as I sat in the waiting room of the hospital.
I didn’t know how long we’ve been hear, how long we’ve been waiting for news. On one hand it feels like forever, but because I barely remember a thing until now it feels like 5 minutes…if that makes any sense.
As I looked down at my clothes I could see the blood on my shirt, to be honest I had no idea how it got there…and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.
Everyone tried to talk to me, tried to get me to eat or drink…but I couldn’t.
I just kept thinking over and over again how this was my fault.
My heart felt like it was going to stop at any moment as I sat in the chair watching time pass me by so quickly.
I felt so upset, hurt, heartbroken…but at the same time completely empty and lifeless.
“Adriana please, please talk to me…” I heard Michael say clearly, which was the first time I was able to hear since I saw Mason being taken away in the ambulance.
I just turned to him with dark empty eyes looking into his caring worried ones.
“Please Baby…you need to eat…” he said but I couldn’t, I didn’t want too…
“No…” was all I mumbled and all eyes turned to me surprised that I actually talked.
“How long has it been?” I asked in a low empty voice as I looked around at the white sterile cold hospital that smelled like rubbing alcohol and gloves seeing my 5 brothers, Eric, Tom, and Rob sitting in the chairs waiting for news. I couldn’t help but get the chills as I remembered the last time I was at this hospital…one of the worst times of my life.
Automatically my mind wander into the memory of walking into the waiting room and seeing a very young Mason sitting in the chair and leaning his head in his hands crying hysterically. He looked up at me with his beautiful green eyes that were red and puffy from crying. He looked so young and innocent, but clouded with hurt and pain.
I didn’t say a word as I sat beside him and wrapped my arms around him trying to comfort him in anyway I knew how. We were only in 3rd grade when he was pulled out of class when he found out his mother was sent to the hospital.
The whole day I remembered watching the clock waiting to see him. As soon as school ended my brothers took me directly to the hospital and it killed me to see him so hurt. She was like a second mother to me, and it hurt so badly to lose another parent…but I did the best I possibly could to be strong for Mason.
Even at such a young age I knew how I felt about him…I knew one day he’d be the guy I married, but that was impossible now…
The time I was here before that I remember vaguely…and only parts. I was so young when my parents died that sometimes I barely remember them, thankfully my brothers would always tell me stories about them and show me pictures in order to keep their memory alive.
I only remember sitting on Chris’s lap in the waiting room along with the twins while John and Mike talked to the doctors. For some reason everyone was so sad and worried, and Chris was angry. Even the twins understood what was going on, probably not a lot more than I did but I remember the worried expression on my faces.
The next thing I remember is Mike and John coming over and nodding sadly to Chris who looked over to the twins with concern as they tried to figure out what was going on. Then a few hours later John sat me down and tried to explain what happened, a conversation I barely remembered.
But after that I was reminded everyday that I didn’t have my parents, and I never would…
“Baby! Are you okay?” John asked urgently as he stood in front of me shaking me softly bringing my back to the reality that I wished I could escaped.
I just nodded in response.
“I said we’ve been here a little over 6 hours, Masons in surgery…that’s all we know.” He said sadly as I looked over to Masons dad was arguing loudly with the nurse at the front desk. My heart almost stopped…because of me he was going to lose his son. Another person that he loved unconditionally…that he wasn’t going to have…
“Andy you should go…” John began to say before I interrupted him.
“No!” I said strongly making everyone’s eyes turn to us.
“Andy your clothes…” Rob said as he walked up to us and I looked down to the dark dried blood that stained my clothes almost forgetting that was there.
“But how? I don’t remember even going near him…” I said in hushed voice filled with pain.
“You don’t remember cause you were in shock…but as they took him out you ran to him and held him as he laid on the gurney…” Rob said with red bloodshot eyes that told me he was hurting as badly as I was.
“This is all my fault…” I began to say with tears filling my eyes and my heart began to race.
“Andy no…” Rob said as he shook his head and squatted down in front of me so that we were eye level.
“This isn’t your fault at all…he was angry, he wasn’t thinking straight…it was a mistake. Everything’s going to be okay…” he said shakily as he put his strong hands on my shoulders, but as I looked into his eyes I could tell it was something that he was trying to convince himself.
I wanted to scream and tell him it was my fault. I should have believed him! He was my best friend, how in the world could I have possible chosen someone else over him?
Because of my stupid mistake I was going to lose him.
I was going to lose another part of myself.
“I’m not leaving…I can’t…” I said as my eyes began to fill with tears.
“Alright.” John said with a nod.
“How about we go get Baby a change of clothes…” the twins said as they rose from their seats looking at me with red eyes filled with sympathy.
After the twins left I sat in between Rob and Michael holding on tightly to both their hands as I brought my knees into my stomach on the chair.
Eric and Tom left along with the twins to go home and get cleaned up but I knew they would be back. Before Eric and Tom left they held my tightly attempting to help me feel better but it was no use…
“What do you remember after you and Rob found Mason?” Chris asked and Michael and John glared at him knowing that it wasn’t a good idea to ask, but it was an answer that I also wanted to know.
“Not much, screaming, crying, watching them ambulance drive away, and then you guys taking me in the car. Then after that I remember Michael begging me to talk to him.” I said and they all nodded.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because after we got here no one would tell us anything…we didn’t even know if he was alive up until 3 hours ago. They told us that they had to rush him in for emergency surgery, for what we don’t know…that’s what Tommy’s trying to find out.” Chris said gesturing to Masons dad still waiting at the desk for answers.
I couldn’t breathe as I thought about everything, I honestly felt like I was going to pass out…which didn’t seem like a bad idea. My heart was racing and my breathing felt restricted as I thought about everything that was happening.
“Mason was drunk…” I said more to myself.
“Yeah we know…” Michael said looking away nervously.
“What does that mean?” I asked with concern.
“Well we’ll find out soon.” He said, an answer that I didn’t like.
***
After the twins came back and I changed I sat back in my chair waiting for some news, hoping, praying, that he would be okay. It was thanksgiving today, and I knew that I was truly thankful for Mason…but I couldn’t help but feel that it was too late.
5 more hours passed until the doctor finally came out with an impassive expression on his face. We all turned to him waiting for the news.
“Mr. Louis…” he said in a serious tone, making Masons father rise from his seat and walk towards him.
“Yes?”
“When your son came to us we had to rush him into surgery. He was pretty banged up, a gash on his head, a broken arm, and a few broken ribs…” he said keeping us all hanging on to each word he said.
“But that wasn’t the problem…we had to rush him into surgery because he was bleeding internally. One of his ribs punctured one of his vital organs. It lacerated one of his kidneys. We did all we can do stop the bleeding and patch up the kidney…but we had a few complications…” he continued and I could feel my lungs collapsing inside me as I tried to gasp for air.
“He was bleeding so much that we had to put him into an induced coma, to minimize the bleeding and the pain…” he said and my heart almost stopped in my chest.
“So what we do?” he asked…
“We wait…its all in Masons hands now…” he said and I sat there frozen as everything inside me fell apart.
Every time I tried to gasp for air I got nothing. I could feel my heart racing and my body tingling all over in worry and fear. I didn’t know what to do…I felt like I was about to explode.
The only thing I could do was get up and run out of the sliding doors outside. As I leaned against the brick wall hyperventilating I noticed the orange tinges in the dark sky, signaling the sun would be up soon.
I couldn’t help but think that it was a new day and things weren’t going to get any better…they never would.
I kept trying to breath but all I would get was short breaths of air which wasn’t enough…I couldn’t help but feel like someone was smothering me, restricting my breathing and it was killing me.
“Baby!” I heard my brothers scream as they ran through the doors outside. Running to me…
“How do you feel? What’s wrong?” Michael said urgently as he put his hand on my lower back trying to give me support as my other brothers waited around me looking nervous and concerned.
All I could do was shake my head breathing heavily. Everything was spinning around me as the pains in my chest increased. I couldn’t handle it…I was convinced it was going to kill me.
Just before I blacked out I could hear my brothers calling my name…and then it was pitch black.
***
It’s been a week and a half since I blacked out, and since I found out Mason was in a coma.
Everyone continued living their life, but I couldn’t. Rob, Eric, Tom, and the twins went back to school, my brothers went back to work…and I just couldn’t resume my life….not without Mason.
After I blacked out Michael forced me to eat and drink again…I was hyperventilating and it didn’t help that I was dehydrated.
But I continued to drink and eat, little by little…still losing weight with each day that passed…
Nothing was the same though, and it never will be…
My mind kept wandering to the moment that I stepped into Masons hospital room so cold and distant. It killed me to see the bandages on his head, the bruises and scrapes on his face, the sling and cast around his arm, and the tubes and wires hooked up all over his body.
I could help but cry as I watched him laying there like a vegetable, listening to the machines around him beep every so often. I couldn’t stay there with him any longer…it wasn’t something I was strong enough to handle.
It made my heart drop and it was a feeling that was worse than the guilt that I couldn’t ignore…
With each day that passed the more I hated myself for not telling him how I feel, not admitting it. The feelings grew stronger more intense, as I realized how much I needed him in my life…
Also the doctors got more doubtful…they didn’t think he would wake up, and even if he did…he wouldn’t be the same. But I couldn’t listen, I couldn’t believe them…Mason was the strongest person I know, and he would pull through…he had too.
I wasn’t going back to school…I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to be able to get through the day knowing that Mason was still here fighting for his life. I went home everyday to change and shower, but I always came back…there was no way that I was leaving him here.
The only thing that kept me going was my friends and my family, and my hope….
Rob stayed with me some times, my brothers always stopped by making sure I wasn’t alone, Eric and Tom came as much as I could, and even Hannah came to comfort me.
“Mr. Louis…” 2 uniform cops said as they walked through the waiting room of the hospital with 2 white boxes in their hands.
“Yes?” he said.
“Can we speak to you outside?” they asked and he nodded before they followed him outside.
I looked over to John puzzled.
“They are probably talking about the DUI charges, and giving him back the personal items that they found in his car.” John said and I nodded slowly trying to ignore the consuming feeling of pain washing over me.
It was 20 minutes later when Masons dad came back inside with a frown on his face.
“Tommy what’s wrong?” I asked as I got up.
“Well they said that since Masons a minor that this isn’t going to be easy. But the courts are taking into consideration his sate of being at the moment, and the face that he has a clean record…” he said and I nodded.
“They also gave me the stuff that was left in Masons car, I went through it and I found this…” he said as he took out a white envelope from his back pocket with my name written on the front in Masons horrible chicken scratch hand writing.
As I took it in my hands I could feel the tears running down my cheek as I brushed my fingers lightly over the writing of my name.
“I think he would want you to have it…” he said and I nodded.
“Do you think I can go in and see him now?” I asked and he nodded.
When I walked into the room trying to push away my fears and ignore the tubes and the wires and the beeping machines as I took as seat beside where he laid on the bed.
I held the envelope in my hands crying as I thought about everything…
It was so hard to look up at him, and see him there…but I finally forced myself to do it and I could see him lying there so peaceful as we all were losing our minds.
“Mason…” I said in a whisper filled with pain as I watched his chest move up and down rhythmically.
“I’m sorry I haven’t came in…sat with and talked…but I couldn’t. I guess I was too afraid. But I stayed in the waiting room…trying not to give up hope but it’s hard…” I began to say as I held the envelope in my hands.
“Its hard when you lose so many people to think that God will spare you one person…” I continued.
“One person that I need more than anything in this world…”
“I guess I should open this…but its another thing I’m scared of. Seeing you, talking to you, admitting my feelings, losing you…I’m afraid of it all. “
“But…I’m going to have to face my fears…” I said as I gently ripped open the envelope and took out the letter that I read out loud.
“Dear Adriana Lynn Payne,
Today has been a pretty crazy day. I’ve been trying to get in contact with you all day, but it’s harder than trying to get in contact than the president. I can’t help but feel that you're avoiding me, and for a good reason. I don’t know what changed but I can guess it has something to do with feelings and confusing…things I’ve been dealing with ever since I’ve met you. Last night on that mountain II know things were intense, I know you felt something…something I’ve been feeling for as long as I could remember. But I wanted to tell you that I found something while you were asleep, something that made me realize many things. It made me realize that you have to live everyday like its your last because it actually could be your last, it made me realize that true love conquers all, it’s the most important thing in the world, the closest thing we have to magic. I realized that true love is rare and when you find it you have to hold on as tight as you can…that’s why I'm writing you this, why giving you this. Adriana I love you more than anything in the world, I’m in love with you…for the longest time. I love your braid, your baggy clothes, the way you don’t take any bullshit from anyone, the way you could play any sport better than any of the guys in this town, I love how you can look beautiful without even trying, and I love how you don’t realize how amazing and beautiful you are. I don’t know when I was going to ever tell you this; I don’t think I was even going to. I hoped that you would notice on your own, but of course that was impossible because you are completely oblivious. I know what love is because of you…and no matter how you feel about me I’ll never forget it. I can just imagine you reading this letter panicking, trying to avoid your feelings, trying to get over them, trying to pretend they don’t exist…just because you're scared of what it all means. But love is simple Andy…you just have to accept it. I know we belong together, and I hope you see that too…especially when you turn over this page and see what I found…
- Love you with all my heart, Mason.”
I finished reading the letter and I was completely in tears as I turned over the letter and saw the locket taped to the back of the page. I took the white gold locket in my hands and ran my fingers over the engraving in the front and back.
I love you, forever and always…
When I opened the locket my heart almost stopped, because there was a picture of my parents when they were in high school on one side. I covered my mouth with my hand in shock as my eyes stared intently at the small picture of my parents sitting on my hood my dads car with his hands wrapped around my moms neck and they looked at each other so lovingly.
When I looked at the other side there was another engraving that said ‘love conquers all,’ and I couldn’t help but let out a gasp as my tears fell quickly down my cheeks falling onto the letter in my lap.
“Oh my god….” I said in a breathless whisper.
I couldn’t get over the fact that this belonged to my mother, given to her by my dad so many years ago. I could barely breathe as I looked at Mason wishing he would of given this to me so much soon.
“Mason Louis, I love you…I’ve always loved you.” I said as I took his limp hand in mine that was connected to all these wires and kissed it lightly.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t realize that sooner…” I said as I leaned my head at his side and cried and cried with his hand still in mine.
My whole world was falling apart as I realized that I was going to lose the love my life.
“Mason please wake up…” I said in between sobs.
“I need you, I love you…please…I want to be with you!” I said.
“But you’ll never know that…and its all my fault, I should have listened to you…” I said as I continued to sob silently.
After a few moments of crying and sobbing as I held on to Masons hand, something happened that changed everything…something happened that made everything okay.
I felt his hand lightly grip mine, making my head snap up quickly looking at his face.
I try to take a deep breath as I attempted to make sense of the situation.
“Mason…” I said again shakily, and once again he gripped my hand but tighter.
My eyes were glued to his as his eyes opened slowly…looking around squinting from the bright lights.
“Mason!” I said with happiness as he tried to make sense of everything. As he looked at me his eyes sparkled and he looked at me with a small smile. Every time he opened his mouth to say something nothing would come out.
“I’ll get the nurse!” I said but just as I went to turn his hand held mine keeping me from moving. I looked back at him puzzled but he just used his hand to gesture me closer, and closer to him.
I leaned over him a few inches from his hip and I gulped from my nerves at our close proximity.
Before I knew it his hand was on the back of my neck and pushed me towards his lips. When our lips connected everything felt, complete…it all made sense to me now.
I could feel my stomach doing flips inside me at the electricity from our kiss surged within. It was like it was the best experience of my life…just being with him.
It made me forget about everything that happened…it made me believe that everything was actually going to be okay.
When I pulled away his eyes searched mine intently.
“I love…you…Adriana…” he said in a low rough whisper and I couldn’t help but smile….
Everything was going to be all right…
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hi guys this was pretty hard to write like i told you beforeeee but i know many of you think this is cliche but i needed something & i wasnt going to let him die so yeahh, it was either the coma or death. So be glad i picked the coma.
But again really hard to write so sorry it took so long! please tell me how you liked it cause it was very difficult, & i really hoped i got this perfect.
Let me know what you think is going to happen? will they eb together? is mason mad? will she tell her brothers about Cole? is she going to end up with Mason & forget about revenge? LET ME KNOW.
HOPE YOU ENJOYED.
PLEASE COMMENT, FAN & VOTE - the more the faster the update :)