ps. Not edited..
Sage's Point of View.
Voices were everywhere. Angry voices were shouting at each other, saying words I couldn't really understand. I tried to open my eyes fully, but they felt heavy. I could barely see 4 figures standing by each other. 2 out of the four were face to face but before I could see who it was the darkness took me under once more.
"Sage. Sage. Sage." I heard someone say, the voice deep yet soft.
I stirred in my sleep, my eyes opening to the bright light in the living room. I looked up confused and alerted, wondering what was happening. I swung my legs over the couch and sat up, different colored pair of eyes looking at me. I felt uncomfortable so I grabbed the zerba printed blanket and wrapped it around myself.
"W..what's going on? I didn't mean to do anything, I swear. Please don't hurt me, I'm sorry", I pleaded, pulling the blanket further up to my chest. Tears brimmed the corner of my eyeslids as I stared at floor, hoping that nothing would happen to me.
"Sage? Baby, it's me", a familair voice said.
I looked up to see Mark making his way to me, a worried look on his face when he finally reached me. I was confused yet happy. I haven't seen Mark since the day his girlfriend kicked me out of the house. Speaking of his girlfriend, I turned around with wide eyes to see if she was here. Instead I find my dads and Alexander looking at me with worried expressions. I could feel my body starting to sweat from the aniexty that was buliding up inside me. I turned around to look back at Mark, my voice soft and almost quiet when I spoke.
"Sky..Skyler. Where is she? Sh..She's going to hurt me if she sees me with you", I said, looking at with frighten eyes. Tears started to well up in the corners, my body beginning to shake. I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to get hurt I chanted in my head. I shut my eyes tightly then brought my hands to cover my ears, hoping in my head that everything and everyone will go away.
"Sage!"
"Sage!"
"Look at what you're doing to her, you little shit!" I heard Alexander yelled. I opened my eyes and let out a gasp when I saw Alexander throw his clutched fist into the side of Mark's face. I dropped my hands to my lap before scurriding to get up from the couch, dropping the blankets onto the floor.
"Alexander!" Jesse yelled, shock written all over his face as he starred at Alexander.
After that punch everything went by fast, Mark had stood up after wiping the blood off the corner of his lips. He looked anger, very angry. I have never seen this side of Mark and honestly it reminded of my mom when she would get anger at me. It reminded me how I would curl up into a bad in the corner of the room and plead for her to not come any closer. It was something I didn't want to see ever in my life.
I lifted my eyes to watch as Mark flew across the room and punch Alexander in the face. Everything after that got ugly, Alexander and Mark were on the floor throwing punches after punches. My dad and Jesse were trying to break them away from each other but the harder they tried the harder Alexander and Mark tried to pull away from their grips. It felt like hours when I finally had the courage to stand up and walk away, leaving the boys to their own thing. I didn't want to be around them if they were going to fight and argue. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts ... and my razor.
It's been a few months since I last cut myself but ever since Alexander and all his hatrd towards me and that party, I feel like I need to do this to myself. I walked like a ghost upstairs, the sound of my feet leaving no echo. I made it in the bedroom that Alexander and I shared. Shutting the door behind me, I made sure to lock it before going to my bed. Everything in the room looked the same, nothing has changed and I wasn't sure if I was happy or depressed about it. I know that's a weird feeling to have, but what I can I feel when all this time I thought they had forgotten about me and left me to be on my own. I didn't want to be found but yet I got found when I least expected it.
"I want a bottle of tequila and some cigarettes", I asked the man behind the counter, my eyes searching through his. He curled his lips into a cruel uptight smile, the smoke of the ciger in his lips coming out through his nose, causing a small amount of fog to form in front of me.
"How old are you, little lady? You don't look like you're at the age where you can buy tequilla, let alone a pack of cigarettes", he said, leaning forward against the counter top of the register. He looked at me, his dark eyes craving holes into my colored ones as he continued to take long drags of the cigar.
I coughed away the smoke of the cigar, swatting my hand forward to get rid of the smoke and smell. I felt nervous all of sudden in front of this man, the insides of my stomach turning upright as if it say something was going to happen. I never acted on my gut but this time I did, I turned around and ran out of the shop completely ignoring the loud voice behind me.
I found myself running to the next closest market that had everything I wanted. The lady in the front had a mean look on her face, her blonde hair sticking out in all different directions. I tugged my hands into my pockets and pretended to look around the shop, hoping in some way she would turn around or better yet, leave towards the back of the building. It wasn't more then 5 minutes when the phone rang and the lady had to leave to answer it. I took this chance to run to the liquer cabinet and start grabbing the nearest bottle I could. When I found the one I was looking for, I pulled open the lid and took long gulps of the acohlol, the taste burning my throat. I finished the bottle before the lady came back from her phone call. I could feel the pounding in my head start to form, the blurred vision coming into view. I began to laugh my ass off throughout the store, the bottle slipping from my grip, and breaking into pieces on the floor.
"Hey! What in the hell do you think you're doing!"
I turned around with the biggest smile on my face. I couldn't tell who was who since I saw two of the same ladies in my line of vision. I didn't know what to say so I just laughed and began to walk away. I could hear her footsteps come closer and closer to me so I picked up the pace, my laughter becoming louder and louder as I walked out of the door.
"Get the hell out!"
"Hey! Are you alright!"
I didn't want him to come for me. i didn't like Alexander Dimitri. I wanted to stay by myself until I found someone or better yet, until I found the reason to end my pathetic self on the streets. I wanted to end myself so I can finally be free of the horror and sadness that I have inside me. The fear and rejection that has swell inside my human form. I miss the gentle touch of a mother's hand, the loving smile that a father holds for their kids.
But I would never have that anymore. Not after what my father did. Not after what my mother made me go through. Not after all the times I spent crying on the floor because of RIcky and his ways. Not even after I came here to live and in time my nightmares became real once again. That night when I was almost rape again. The days I spent at Marks house only to be kicked out by his girlfriend. I will never have anything close to what I had before my life turned upside down. I had nothing .. Absolutely nothing.
Brining myself out of my own pity, I manged to fall onto the floor beside my bedside table. I sat with my legs crossed underneath each other, my dirty hairs falling down in knots onto my shoulders. I reached underneath the side of the table and grabbed the razor I had tapped along the sides. I set the razor down on my lap then proceeded to rise my sleeve up, revealing my brusied and scarred arm. I let myself look around my arm, taking in each scar and wound before picking up the razor and holding it against my wrist.
I didn't think. I just did it.
Slice..
The cold metal slit through my skin, the familiar burning sensation starting to course throughout my arm. I bit down on my lip to attempt to hold back a cry of pain as I continued to cut myself, each fresh cut representing the events that only occured to me recently. At one point of my cutting, I let out a small scream because the pain was beginning to overfill me. But yet, I didn't let that stop my from continuing on. I finished moment laters when I had no stregth to continue, the blood lost starting to cause my vision to blur. I clutched onto the razor tightly once before letting it fall onto the carpet floor, my bloody hand falling down besides it.
"Sage! Sage! Are you alright! Sage!" I could hear many different voices calling out my name. I looked over to the locked door and watched as someone try to opened it. My eyes felt heavy and my body felt weak. I couldn't hear anyone yelling anymore but yet I could see the door shaking violating. Someone was trying to get in. But why? Everything's fine. I'm fine.
Minutes later I heard the door burst open, the door falling off it's hinges. I lifted my eyes to see who it was but my vision has turned comepletely white. I mumbled a few words before falling down to the floor, my eyes shutting into slumber.
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Whew! That took awhile for me to write! I know a lot of people want to hurt me right now but that's fine, I completely understand. I hope you guys like this upload, I tried my hardest to please you guys! So please, vote and comments your thoughts! & oh yes, if anyones wants to get a hold of me just ask. I have lots of social networking sites that I'm on besides this one.. Kik, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, & Ask. Just ask and I'll give you my name. Thanks, much love!