'Blaze?!' I spun back round to stare incredulously at my uncle. He just smiled and turned towards Amber, who was watching intently. But she didn't look surprised. In fact she looked like she was expecting this turn of events.
And that's when it hit me. They'd obviously been talking about this before now. The three of them. Amber, Clay and Connor. They'd set this up. It suddenly dawned on me that Clay had spotted me riding Blaze. He was the shadow that had vanished. And Connor, he knew I missed it. I told him that myself. As for Amber, she'd been trying to get me to ride from the start. She'd probably spoken to both of them and put two and two together.
'You three have ganged up on me.' I said accusingly.
'Ganged up sounds so harsh. I prefer to think we're just nudging you in a certain direction.' Clay smirked confidently. Slowly he came across the arena and looked down at me from the fence. 'Look Jenna. I'm not going to force you to do this. But I think you want to. Am I wrong?'
'No.' I said weakly.
'Good. So go grab yourself a hat.'
I walked away in such a daze that when I came back again I found I had a hat in my hand that I didn't remember picking up. Blaze was now standing quietly in the middle of the arena looking highly bemused. He appeared to be just as surprised as me that he was tacked up all set to be ridden.
'Ready?' Connor asked as I approached Blaze and started to gather the reins.
'Let's find out.'
Connor held his hand in the stirrup on the other side as I lifted my foot and then swung myself up. I froze briefly as I sat in the saddle, staring down at the top of Blaze's neck. I was nervous, very nervous. There seemed to be so much pressure on me this time, not like when I'd hopped on his back in the paddock. This was it. I was actually going to ride. What if it something went wrong? It would crush what little confidence and hope I had for the future.
Clay and Connor buckled my stirrups into the right length while I sat there struggling to breathe.
Blaze had tensed as soon as I'd gotten into the saddle. He felt strong and powerful beneath me, like a coiled spring ready to let go at any moment.
'Over to you kiddo.' Clay said softly as he and Connor stepped out of the way. 'Just breathe Jen.'
Amber was still walking Phoebe round the outside and I felt a little comfort from having her nearby. She smiled encouragingly at me.
Tiffany on the other hand was now standing on the top of the picnic table. Her face gleeful at the prospect of me getting dumped on the floor. A prospect that was highly likely thanks to the reputation of the pony I was sitting on. I determined in that second I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. Riding was like second nature to me, it was only my confidence that was lacking - and I was about to restore it. I had to.
Firmly I squeezed my legs and took up a soft contact on the reins. Blaze remained rigid for a second but eventually moved his legs forward at the second time of asking. He stomped heavily like he was wading through quicksand.
'Come on boy, help me out here. Neither of us can afford to blow this.' We walked steadily around the arena.
My body started to relax as the gentle rocking of Blaze's movement told me he was also easing.
Not that it lasted long. After a few circles round in walk, I squeezed again and asked for a trot. Only when I flexed my fingers down the reins to increase the contact Blaze went mental. It was like someone had flipped a switch in his brain. He bunched back on his hind quarters and lashed out with his fore legs.
My body was thrown back but I just managed to wrap my arms around his neck.
'Hold on Jenna!' Clay shouted across the arena - like I really needed telling.
Blaze lashed out a couple of more times before finally dropping down and then bombing in an uncontrolled gallop around the school.
Tiffany must have been dancing from delight at such a spectacle. But I kept my focus on Blaze, and my desire to stay in the saddle rather than on the ground. Panic could easily have taken over but instead my mind worked quickly trying to think it's way forward. This wasn't the first time I'd been carted off - just think Jenna - what would your dad do?
Slowly a calm, sensible voice started to leak it's way into my head. It said 'You're tense, leaning forward - relax....'
Dragging in a deep breath I started to let go of the tension. I could feel it leaving me, letting my body sink deep into the saddle. I sat tall again, not hunched, and I suddenly felt secure, matching Blaze's movement as though I'd been superglued down on the saddle.
'Good Jenna.' I heard Clay yell. 'Just stick with him.'
Despite regaining my balance Blaze was still careering round at full speed. I don't understand. Why was he doing this? Cheeky is one thing. I can deal with cheeky. But that's not what this was.
Everytime he tossed his head I could see the wild look in his eyes. This was more than just a mischievous side. But there hadn't been any sign of it when I'd ridden him in the field. What was so different now? Was it Phoebe's presence? Being trapped in the arena? Being in the tack?
'That's it!' I said out loud. 'It's the bit.' He flipped the moment I twitched at the reins. Amber told me the boy who'd mistreated him had hauled on Blaze's mouth till it bled. And when I rode him in the field he only had a headcollar on.
I completely dropped my grip on the reins and held them halfway up his neck. My whole control would have to come through my seat and my legs.
After a few seconds Blaze started to calm. He slowed his wild charging and eventually stopped dead in the far corner.
'That's it boy. Steady now.' I gently stroked his neck letting him know I wasn't there to hurt him. He was snorting loudly and his body was heaving feverishly, but slowly he calmed. I could feel him ease with every stroke down his neck.
'Good boy. It's ok now.'
Confident he was settled, I pulled up the slack of the reins and tied a loose knot before abandoning them on the back of his neck.
'Jenna?' I heard Clay from the middle of the arena. 'What are you doing?'
'I just want to try something.'
Unclipping the spare lead rein from the saddle I bent forward and looped it loosely around Blaze's neck. His ears flicked back and forth as he tried to figure out what I was doing. Gripping the lead rein in my hands I cautiously squeezed my legs. Blaze hesitated, confused but then started to walk forward.
'It's alright boy.' I encouraged him softly. 'Just listen to my legs.'
The whole arena was silent apart from the steady thrum of Blaze's hooves skimming across the sandy surface of the school.
After half a turn in a calm walk I asked for a trot again. This time Blaze bounded forward and moved into a beautiful, balanced pace. I smiled unable to hold it as we looped at one end and then moved into a perfect figure of eight to change the rein. All the way Blaze jogged happily about, his ears flicking back and forth as he concentrated.
Clay's voice broke the silence. 'Connor. Have we got a hackamore in the tack room?'
'It's hanging in the back by the western saddle.' I answered, remembering where Amber had hung the bitless bridle the previous week.
But in that moment I didn't even feel like we needed it. Blaze was working calmly listening to my every move. I sat deep into the saddle and made the transition for canter. He responded immediately, picking up the correct leg and rocking me smoothly in one of the most comfortable canters I'd ever had to sit.
True his head was flopping around all over the place and the circles were becoming more like ovals as my legs tired, but he was still doing it. I was doing it. Riding. The two of us in harmony as we ate up the arena.
I spotted Connor coming back across the arena so dropped Blaze back into a walk before turning him in. The bridle he was wearing was swiftly removed and Connor and I fiddled deftly with all the little buckles and straps of the hackmore until we had it sitting perfectly on Blaze.
Blaze himself seemed totally lost with what was going on, but when we were done and I was back in the saddle he soon cottoned on. That's when his naughty side kicked in. Happy now without the bit in his mouth he was prepared to put me to the test, though I was more than ready for him. In fact I was almost bursting with excitement.
In trot he started to nap towards the gate, and flicked his back legs out in a little buck when I gave him a nudge back. I twitched at the reins, asking him to arch his neck, and he jumped around like he had fleas biting at his bum. But again I took a firm hold and forced him on.
He was testing me, but the fact that I'd managed to stay on so far was only heightening my confidence. I felt like I was a match for him.
When I was younger, if I wasn't riding I was watching someone else do it - or reading about. Even as a little kid my knowledge had been huge. And it had never gone away, it had just been stored away in a little box in my mind. Now it was all about putting it into practice.
I kicked on once more and asked for canter, which he happily fell into, before charging off down one long side of the arena. I could tell he was willing me to start fighting him so that he could pull back, knowing full well that his strength would far outweigh mine. But I wasn't a novice - there were other ways to deal with this.
I thought of Clay the other day when he was lunging Blaze. The way Clay had left Blaze to get it out of his system while he just carried on what he was doing as though nothing was happening.
I used this tactic now. With every little naughty buck or sudden charge across the school, I just sat with him, not budging just waiting. After a few minutes of this he seemed to run out of ideas.
We'd just finished a full twenty meter circle, which he spent most of the time with his head between his legs trying to throw me off, but suddenly he gave in. He stopped yanking his head against the reins. Instead he pulled his nose in and bent around my leg as we trotted across the centre mark and then picked up canter again on the other rein.
It felt perfect, so smooth and effortless as we glided round the arena together in unison. This is what riding is all about. The partnership, the trust, between horse and rider. I could feel myself beaming from ear to ear. Blaze and I had both been hurt but now we were going to fix each other.
The two of us continued to ride, twisting, turning, changing pace, extending and shortening with ease and grace. From the corner of my eye I saw the back of the last of the Pony Club lot disappearing out of sight. Tiffany, glared at me harshly, before tossing her head and stalking off.
That left Clay and Conner standing together, talking and laughing as they chattered cheerfully, still keeping their eyes on Blaze and I.
But it was Amber who I focused on the most. She was sitting on Phoebe's back outside the arena, watching - and grinning. I thought at first she was just pleased to see Blaze being ridden for once but then I realised she was grinning at me. I was cantering tirelessly around the edge of the school with the most ridiculous, broad, toothy smile ever. But I couldn't help it. And I didn't want to. It wasn't until that moment that it hit me - it wasn't just my dad missing from my existence. Riding was my life. Somehow I'd forgotten that. But I remembered it now. And I loved it.
Clay's voice rung out high and confident through the air. 'What was it your dad called you kiddo? Born in the saddle?'