“I guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up.”
― Lauren Oliver, Delirium
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I took a deep breath, trying to think through the blood rushing to my head.
Did I hear him right? He killed someone? Why would he ... do that? And how does Maya know this?
"Nat-" Maya started.
Nathan must've said something way too low for me to hear because well, I couldn't hear it.
I pressed a cold trembling hand to my forehead.
What had I gotten myself into this time?
Hearing a small whine, I turned around and saw that Remy had woken up. The baby boy was rubbing his eyes, and yawning.
He looked so cute, I wanted to cuddle him. He looked at the bed next to him in dismay and his lower lip started to tremble.
Uh-oh.
"Look who's up?" I said in my most soothing voice.
At hearing my voice, his head snapped up. His face transformed into a beautiful smile and he leaned forward, stretching his small hands out, fists opening and closing.
I let out a small laugh and headed towards him. I sat next to him and he climbed into my lap and yawned.
He must've got up when he realized no one was in bed.
His fists clenched in my-um, I mean Nathan's-shirt and he happily rested his head on my chest and promptly fell asleep.
I let out a low laugh.
Must be nice to be able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat.
I rubbed his tiny back in slow up and down movements and he started purring. Startled, I looked down wondering if I'd woken him.
Nope. He was asleep.
I smiled.
Such a cat.
The door opened and I stilled. Remy stirred and I continued to rub his back. I heard something open so I looked up, curious.
The black camera I'd bought for Nathan was flying out of its place in the cupboard, twirling gracefully to face Remy and me, shutter side first.
Nathan stood a few feet away, watching me with dark green hooded eyes. I ignored the camera as it clicked pictures. My eyes were trained on my very sexy mate.
The camera landed on the sheets beside me. I looked down at Remy who was sucking his thumb again.
Sighing, I pulled it out of his mouth.
"Do you know I find you so beautiful, I keep wondering what I did right to deserve you?" he asked.
"Huh." Was my cognitive response/grunt.
He smirked at me, reaching me in two long strides and cupping my cheeks in his hand and placing his lips on mine. My hands automatically wrapped around his thick wrists, my lashes fluttering shut on their own accord.
My mind shut off, thoughts filtered out of my head and it was all I could do to remember the baby in my lap.
I pulled back.
"Remy." I gasped out.
Nathan, understanding what I was saying, slowly lifted the child off my lap and placed him under the sheets, where he cuddled and slept.
When Nathan sat down, I crawled over to his lap and wound my legs around him, placing my lips on his trying to forget what I heard Nathan say to Maya.
Serves me right for eavesdropping.
Nathan's hands rubbed my back, like he understood something had upset me. His hands landed on my waist and applied pressure pushing me back. I tried to fight it, but he was way too strong for me.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
I shook my head and leaned back, sighing.
"Baby?"
I pressed the heel of my hands to my eyes.
"I heard..."
"Heard?" Nathan asked, prying my hands off my eyes.
"You and Maya." I spit out before I chickened out.
I expected his face to take on a mask, but nothing changed. His eyes were still still dark green, but not from anger...but from something entirely different, that was really inappropriate to think about now. He hadn't stilled or clenched his muscles or in anyway indicated that he was in distress.
Motivated by this, I forced myself to continue.
I could totally do this.
"Yeah...so um I heard that-"
"You heard me say that I killed someone?" Nathan asked.
I could totally not do this.
I blinked, surprised that my mate was being so ... calm about this. I would've been pooping bricks if I were telling him that I'd killed someone.
"We are talking about you killing someone right?" I asked, confused.
Nathan sighed, letting go of my waist to run his fingers through his hair.
"As an Alpha, it's in-built in me to protect my pack. And any crime I've committed was always and only for my Pack. It may not justify the fact that I've killed-"
I pressed my finger to his lips, understanding where he was going with this.
"I get it, sort of. I get how you'd kill to protect the people you love." I said, because no matter how sick it made me feel that I would be the cause of someone's death...someone who was a parent, a son...or someone else's Nathan; if it came down to it I would die to protect Nathan.
And, even though I wouldn't want to, if it went down further, I would kill to save him. It may sound savage, cruel and worse, inhuman. But I would do it. It would kill me, but I would do it if there were no other choice when it came to the people I loved.
A fierce anger uncoiled itself in me, raising its ugly head when I thought about my loved ones getting hurt.
Nathan looked like he had something more to say when a timid knock sounded on the door.
Nathan sighed, rubbing his forehead like he was developing a headache. I tilted my head, wondering who was causing such a reaction in him.
"Death isn't something so easy, baby," Nathan said "it scars the soul and somehow... no matter the reason for which you may have done it, you regret it and you wish things were different and you wish...you weren't the one who needed to pull the trigger."
The grief, pain and self-loathing in his voice pulled at my heart and I almost teared up.
"Nathan." Ruby's muffled low voice came through the door.
I'd recognized the Marker way before she spoke but hadn't said anything because well, she was probably here because of Remy.
I got off Nathan and pulled the covers over my exposed legs while Nathan got up to get the door.
He opened the door and stood in front me Ruby, with his hands crossed and his legs spread apart.
Ruby's head hung low and she was wringing her hands in front of her. As Nathan had commanded her to not look at Remy or come anywhere near him, she was probably in pain or whatever it is they feel when they go against their Alpha's command thing.
"I ... just.." she looked up to meet my eyes then glanced back down quickly, wincing.
"Ruby." Nathan clipped out sharply.
Ruby took a deep breath and spoke in a rush.
"I came to apologize and I know that it won't make a difference but I'm going to do it anyway. I didn't mean to loose sight of him..he was holding on to my skirt and I thought that he still had a hold on me... I swear I looked away for a minute and," she stopped and swallowed "but anyway I was wrong and I accept my punishment. I just..is he doing alright?" the feline asked.
"He's perfectly fine, we won't loose sight of him, don't worry." Nathan said and Ruby winced at the obvious dig.
She let out a bitter laugh.
"I guess I deserved that." she said.
Nathan stood watching waiting for her to continue, he seemed to know that she had something left to say.
She opened her mouth then looked at me and hesitated.
Then her voice took on a lyrical quality, as she spoke to Nathan in a language I didn't understand.
I sucked in a sharp breath.
Tiger tongue.
Nathan replied in the same tongue, and I shuddered at the husky deep tone that sent shivers up my spine.
Drawing in a deep breath I watched Nathan stare down at Ruby and I watched as his gaze softened.
She said something else softly and I froze, recognizing the tone she was using. It was a personal tone, hushed and husky. Nathan froze, his eyes widening in shock, before his brows furrowed and he frowned.
He started to say something when Ruby cut him off with a sad smile and a small shrug of her dainty shoulders. She shot a look to me and I noticed the glassy sheen her eyes had taken on.
"You better hold on to him real tight." Ruby said to me.
I raised an eyebrow.
"You can bet on it." I said back.
She nodded her head and gave me a smile, dropped her head and turned and left.
Nathan shook his head and shut the door.
Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't-
"What did she say?" I asked.
Will power: zero.
"Which part?" Nathan asked, sighing.
"The part where she said something about her feelings for you." I said.
He raised his eyebrows.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you could understand what we spoke."
I threw him an expectant look, ignoring what he said. He rolled his eyes at me.
"She said she'd always...fancied me-"
"Nathan." I sighed.
He threw me an expasperated look.
"You are going to be the death of me, I swear," he threw his hands up in the air before continuing "she said she loved me."
Realizing he was telling me the truth, I settled back.
"And?"
He threw me a weird look.
"And what?" he asked.
"What did you say?" I asked.
He threw me an annoyed look. "I told her I was gay. What do you think I said?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Please, you're not cool enough to be gay." I said.
He frowned at me.
"Who do you know who's gay?" he asked, but his attention was diverted by his beeping phone.
I totally do know someone who's gay. I'm surprised Nathan hadn't figured it out actually.
"I think I shouldn't stay with Sara anymore." I said.
Nathan looked up from his phone, surprised.
"Why?"
"She doesn't have to go through this stuff because of me..and now Remy.." I shook my head.
"You can stay here." Nathan said after a few seconds.
"No, thanks. I'll pick a room without a room mate."
"Ooooor, you can stay here." Nathan said, again.
I shook my head.
"Yeah, no way."
His phone rang and Nathan answered it, I sighed, tempted to toss his phone out of the window.
Dammit.
That's when we heard a blood curling scream.
Nathan and I jerked and our head's automatically snapped to meet each others eyes, before our eyes widened in realization.
"Ruby!" we both gasped.
Nathan pointed a finger at me, "Stay here with Remy. Do not move."
I wanted to go too, but Remy was important. I couldn't let him out of my sight.
Nathan sped out of the room after the blonde while my heart beat in my chest.
Oh, crap. Please let her be okay. Please, please let her be okay.
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I really don't have anything important to say. ..so hope you enjoyed. Vote and comment <3! Song to the right is Impossible by Shontelle.