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⠀⠀⠀The day went by like a blur— one moment he was bombarded with questions and demands by the one and only royalty, Krul. The next, he was out on the sidewalks in front of the school premises with a nervous expression and trembling visibly. Yuichiro would be popping out soon from his History Class, and Mikaela was anything but prepared to face him in their darkest moments. He held such a soft spot for him that it was becoming a weakness. Never has he been this nervous to be meeting with someone because, well, why should he? He knew most of the students in the school, and as ( with the least bragging ) popular as he was, he didn't need to be so tense with them.
⠀⠀⠀But Yuichiro— oh, he was another story just waiting to be told. It hit him; it hit him hard. He was slammed right into those vibrant, luminous eyes, messy, yet still adorable and fitting locks, and cutesy personality. He was knocked full off of his feet for Yuichiro Amane, and Mikaela was goddamn proud for it.
⠀⠀⠀He was Mikaela's dream companion.
⠀⠀⠀It didn't seem like much, and if he tried hard enough to look, he might've found a girl just like Yuichiro. But then again, Yuichiro was special and one-of-a-kind. Something that drew him in like a magnet. It was mysterious; entrancing, even. He couldn't get enough of it. Mikaela fell for the raven male, only to find out Yuichiro wasn't even trying. It were as if his mind and imaginations sketched Yuichiro right out of his engraved dreams and into reality— it was extremely extraordinary. His dreams were answered in the shape of someone he now knows as Yuichiro Amane.
⠀⠀⠀A light breeze flew on passed Mikaela as he leaned against the brick wall, legs crossed along with his arms settled upon his chest. He kept his head low, chin connecting to his neck as he closed his eyelids with a sigh. His heart throbbed inside, lips quivering as he nibble at them constantly every now and then, patience growing quite thin as he waited. Right when Mikaela thought he was being played, and all of what Yuichiro said about meeting up was just a little hoax for his own humiliation, a messy-black-haired head peaked in on him from the other side of the wall, and he was met with a small act of acknowledgement. Yuichiro clicked his tongue, though managed a wave. "Sorry to keep you waiting. I had to persuade Asura enough for him to allow me to leave his side."
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela sucked in air through his nostrils at the saying of Asuramaru's so-called nickname, and he fought back the urge to scrunch his nose and roll his eyes in disgust. "No problem," Mikaela tried to smile, testing whether he'd get one in return. "Let's just get going."
⠀⠀⠀He didn't get one in return.
⠀⠀⠀And he wasn't surprised— not at all.
⠀⠀⠀Yuichiro shrugged instead before beginning to pad down the sidewalks, head forward without one look back at Mikaela. Their walk was in silence, the two keeping their distance as one walked a few feet ahead of the other. Neither acknowledged this, but Mikaela knew for one thing that it was driving him over the edge with the lack of conversation. This wasn't how he'd imagined their talk would begin.
⠀⠀⠀By the time they made their way through the door of Mikaela's apartment, the silence was broken when Yuichiro swiped his head to look at the blond with a frown. He was straight to the point; serious. "Now, what do you want? I don't want to be here any longer than I need to, Mikaela. It's already a risk me being here. Asuramaru's beginning to get suspicious." If Mikaela didn't know better, he would have came to the conclusion that Asuramaru was treating Yuichiro more like an object rather than his significant other. But he kept his lips sealed with that theory and tried another smile.
⠀⠀⠀"Please, Yuu-ch—!"
⠀⠀⠀"Yuichiro. My name is Yuichiro."
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela mentally deflated like a balloon. Not only was their relationship an absolute mess and a sad excuse of a said relationship— he couldn't even speak to him and use his signature nickname. It was absurd, but he went with it as though it hadn't just twisted his heart. "Please, Yuichiro, I know you probably want to leave as soon as possible, but at least try to hear me out!"
⠀⠀⠀Yuichiro scrunched his eyebrows together as if confused, but exhaled loudly before plunging into the couch— more specifically, the one end of the couch where he'd usually sat when he came over. It was quite pitiful how many details Mikaela knew and kept track of with anything that had to do with Yuichiro. Nevertheless, it was distressing. The blond padded over to settle on the complete other side from where Yuichiro sat, careful not to scare the dark-haired male away or make him any more uncomfortable than he probably already was. He needed to keep him where he was for as long as he could; he was so desperate he was on the verge of tears.
⠀⠀⠀"Yuu-chan, I didn't mean any harm between us when I was avoiding you that day— I swear. You were just there at the wrong place during the wrong times." Mikaela said in a low whisper, eyes trying to stay upon the raven, though becoming useless.
⠀⠀⠀"Wrong place during the wrong time my ass, Mikaela." Yuichiro snarled with the stomp of his foot, raising to his feet. His lips were curled, throat rumbling as if he were growling like a monstrous, untamed, wild beast ready to attack his prey— the prey that ended up being him. And for someone like him to be intimidated and horrified to have met this side of a once timid, emotional raven was almost a shock to him. For once, he was actually afraid of what Yuichiro could do, what he could say, what he was thinking. Because of him, he was afraid of the truth that was almost knowing to be said. "You don't have to lie anymore. I'm tired of all the lies that I'm having to go through. Hell, I've been living a lie, Mikaela, a lie.
⠀⠀⠀"It was so obvious how you were evading me as if I disgusted you; like I was abnormal in some way compared to someone, popular, beautiful, and normal, like you. It didn't take rocket science to notice and just know that you were running away from me. You don't need to lie anymore because I already know." Yuichiro rambled, not once taking a breath no matter how quickly and roughly and how much emotion seemed to be flooding from his words. "It hurts. But you wouldn't know, would you? You don't have to know because it'll never happen to you. You don't have to worry about the eyes of judging people, tough reality, continuous haunting nightmares of the parents that never loved an inch of you— none of it; and it isn't fair, but it doesn't matter anymore! I'm tired of being surrounded by untrustworthy people, the lies, nor can I withstand this cruel world! I'm exhausted!"
⠀⠀⠀The dark-haired male stood there, shoulders heaving to match the rhythmic huffing and puffing of his chest as he collected as much oxygen as he needed to satisfy his aching lungs. He hadn't even known the tears that fringed the glassy sclera of his eyes, threatening to spill at any given moment. It wasn't like him to cry in front of anyone else, so what was he doing, weakening and wilting in front of Mikaela like a trampled flower?
⠀⠀⠀Unlike for Mikaela, he was feeling guiltier than he could ever imagine. His friend ( as badly as he didn't want to call him that, something much more special and meaningful) had been breaking and crumbling and was more fragile than he had taken him to have been. He was living a world of falsehood; where everyone around him was going to be a stranger no matter how long or how loved they were to Yuichiro. He was suppose to be one of the few in his life that he could trust. He was suppose to be the one he could rely on. Mikaela was suppose to be Yuichiro's safe haven, and he failed.
⠀⠀⠀Now, all Yuichiro believed in was that he could trust no one, could rely on no one, and had to do everything all by himself. He had to drag the stresses and burdens all on his own no matter how heavy, no matter how much— he was taught in a world of being alone. To some, it may have been seen as a positive thing. To Yuichiro, it was as if he was being forced to live his own living Hell on the place called Earth.
⠀⠀⠀"Yuu-chan..." Mikaela whispered, solemn.
⠀⠀⠀"You're just like everyone else. Just when I thought you were someone different, you turned your back and left me alone. You're no different than everyone else in this filthy, goddamn world." Yuichiro cried, wiping at his eyelids constantly as he held back as many whimpers he could conceal. "I trusted, believed in you." His voice was forming raspy, congested, and shaky. Yuichiro sucked in air forcefully through his nose, trying to calm himself down so he could speak, though it was difficult seeing he was slowly breaking down piece by piece like a cracked wall.
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela tried to put his palm on the raven's shoulder, one he thought felt incredibly thin and boney, but he tried to ignore it and focus on the main problem. "Yuu-chan, please don't cry—!"
⠀⠀⠀"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Yuichiro cried, each pause getting louder and harsher. By then, he was shoving the blond away as if his life depended on it and grasped his messy, sable-colored tresses, running his fingers through them tightly. He began to back away, spine hitting against the nearest wall with buckling knees. "Don't act like you care now because I know you don't. I don't need your useless pity, nor do you really mean it! Get away from me; don't touch me!" The tears were finally falling, rapidly descending to the carpet beneath him and with each drop creating a small spot to become a little darker than the rest.
⠀⠀⠀"Yuu-chan, please..." Mikaela tried again as he followed the raven to the wall, watching the poor male crumble and sob like a petrified child. He went to latch his long, strong arms around the trembling male as a sign of comfort; reassurance, if you will. He was surprised when he had actually managed to fully embrace him into a hug, holding him tightly and carefully as if he portrayed a fragile, porcelain vase. Mikaela pulled his body closer to his to the point Yuichiro's snout pressed into his shoulder, hair tickling his nostrils as he poked his own nose further into his tresses.
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela engulfed the pleasant, attractive fragrance the black-haired male had, not fully aware of what he was doing. This boy— he had someone who was waiting for him, yet here he was sniffing him and holding him as if he were his. It really was a fantasy; not a dream.
⠀⠀⠀A dream, he had no control over and had a better chance of happening; however, a fantasy— it was a creation of his own desires, a world that he knew wouldn't happen. In his dream, Yuichiro was his friend. In his wildest fantasies, Yuichiro was his companion, his one-and-only, his lover. Everything he's ever imagined ran from his desires of having the raven more, more, more. Mikaela knew the odds of becoming more to Yuichiro rather than just a partner in a class, and ( Hell, these possibilities were unlikely ) reliable friend were low, but he couldn't help himself. Yuichiro would forever in his fantasies be his.
⠀⠀⠀Even if he had to withstand the sight of him and Asuramaru together. He just needed Yuichiro in his life, and befriend him.
⠀⠀⠀Reality is a bitch, Mikaela realizes crestfallen.
⠀⠀⠀"Yuu-chan, please listen to me." Mikaela begins in a low voice, arms still wrapped around the waist of the raven tightly and securely— unwilling to let go no matter through what struggle. He noticed how Yuichiro's sobbing came to a yield, an obvious motive of giving in, and the way he wasn't in thought of returning his embrace with his arms attaching to his sides. As much as it hurt, Mikaela knew he had to continue. "I didn't want or mean to hurt you. I was— I was jealous and the first thing I thought of was to avoid you at any costs. I couldn't handle it— you and Asuramaru— he seemed to have made you so happy and there's nothing more important than that.
⠀⠀⠀"You deserve so much more, and to see that Asuramaru made you look as if you owned the world made me... feel as if you didn't really need me anymore, and it hurt— hurt a hell of a lot." He took a pause. "The last thing I'd want is to hurt you, Yuu-chan, but that's what I did, and I'm sorry. I'm so, so goddamn sorry. You're so precious to me. You're so beautiful and you deserve everything you've ever wanted. I didn't want to ruin your chances of being happy and having someone who'll love you. I didn't really think my disappearance would have any affect on you, but—!"
⠀⠀⠀"Shut up; stop talking." Yuichiro interrupted as his head peaked from where it huddled into Mikaela's chest. The blond watched as the tears were replaced, expressions mixed between fury and agony he couldn't describe. "You're so stupid for someone smart, Mika. You think you avoiding me and sneaking away and out of my life would have no affect on me? Mika, you're the most important person in my life. If it weren't for you, I'd be somewhere trying to end my life because of how useless I am."
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela's eyes dilated and his lips parted, mouth going dry. "Yuu-chan..." He whispered in disbelief.
⠀⠀⠀"For you to just run away like that killed me, Mika, killed me. Like all I was to you was a joke; for your own personal amusement." The blond could hear Yuichiro's voice begin to waver, tone growing hoarse like he was going to cry again. It brought Mikaela to become guilty and weak. "I thought you were getting tired of me. It hurts because you mean so much to me and no matter how much I want to be angry at you— I can't!" Yuichiro lifted his arms up so they were matched with the height of his head, curing his fingers into fists as he barely put force into them, beating them into Mikaela's chest repeatedly. The blond didn't react, instead let the male do what he pleased, for he knew it would result in a better outcome. To let all his emotions out was far better than keeping them huddled inside. "Please don't get tired of me!" He cried, once more beating his fists upon Mikaela. "I don't care if you don't really like me! Just, please, don't push me away!"
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela couldn't listen any longer and grasped the slow-movement of Yuichiro's wrists before using his other hand to push at said male's waist, pressing him further into his body for another embrace. "No, Yuu-chan, I would never!" He reasoned, pushing his nose into the messy locks softly.
⠀⠀⠀Then, ever-so-slowly, Mikaela felt the arms of Yuichiro returning his hold, fingers entangling into the cloth of his uniform and gripping it stiffly as if the thought of letting go never crossing his mind. He could feel the clothing getting moist as the raven cried into his chest, but he didn't intervene. After all, he could care less. He had gotten Yuichiro back.
⠀⠀⠀Drawing in air through his nostrils in relief, once more collecting the fairly captivating and alluring scent of his friend, Mikaela felt himself drifting away. All the emotions of having affection for Yuichiro and having him in his arms began to spill out like an over filled cup, overflowing beyond the brim and unable to be kept in. He could feel the exchanging body warmth they were both sharing, and it felt so good that when the words slipped from his lips, he hadn't even tried to deny it. The truth would be out. "I like you a lot, Yuu-chan, so why aren't you mine?"
⠀⠀⠀Yuichiro froze beneath Mikaela's arms. His breathing took a giant hitch, holding it, not daring to exhale, or move in any way noticeable. "W-what did you just s-say?" He inquired, voice low and cautious.
⠀⠀⠀"I like you, Yuu-chan." Mikaela repeated with a smile, pulling away to look at the raven.
⠀⠀⠀"R-really?" Yuichiro gasped, astonished. When he felt Mikaela nod, he pulled away, too, daring to look at the gaze of the blond whom seemed to have no shame in confessing. His heart throbbed in surprise and content, relieved to know that his concealed feelings were going to be requited. But he had a boyfriend— Asuramaru— and now, he was lost in what to do. He gulped, lips parted. "Mika, you know I have a boyfriend..." Yuichiro warned.
⠀⠀⠀At those words, Mikaela, too, froze. "Ah," He began slowly in a murmur. "I know." A silence washed over the two after those three words of uncertainty, but even though it seemed as though the two had nothing to exchange— Mikaela was full of things he wanted; needed to say. He scoffed and glanced away, eyelids narrowed along with furrowed eyebrows. "You don't actually like him, do you, Yuu-chan?"
⠀⠀⠀Yuichiro stayed quiet. Did he? "He's helped me a lot, actually, Mika. It's been a painful month or so and he's stuck around to listen and help me..."
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela gritted his teeth. "So you do?"
⠀⠀⠀"It's different, Mika—!"
⠀⠀⠀"Different?" Mikaela clicked his tongue. "I don't see how, Yuu-chan."
⠀⠀⠀"Mika, please!" Yuichiro begged, whimpering softly as he gripped the blond's uniform tighter as he attempted to keep him from pushing him away; keep him from escaping. "I don't know what to do! Asuramaru and you are so... alike— heartfelt and caring. I can't just choose between you two! I've learned to take a liking toward him; but Mika, you have to understand!" He pressed himself against Mikaela forcefully, whining.
⠀⠀⠀Mikaela sighed, but restrained himself from engaging another argument and squeezed the small frame. Inside, he felt horrible— forcing Yuichiro to choose between two people he claimed to have feelings for, yet at the same time, he wanted the raven to choose him. He didn't want Yuichiro to feel pressured to determine whom he had stronger feelings for, or if he even wanted a relationship with him ( them? ) at all. Bringing Yuichiro closer, if that was even possible, he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. They stayed like that for a brief moment before Mikaela pulled away to look at Yuichiro, green gaze to blue.
⠀⠀⠀"It's okay, Yuu-chan." Mikaela promised. He then leaned down, shifting his face to match with the angle of the dark-hair's cheek and left a chaste, meaningful kiss upon his skin. If Yuichiro's face was tinged with blush— Mikaela didn't notice, or he simply didn't point it out. Yuichiro was left speechless, looking up at the blond with curiosity without releasing his clothing. The passionate look he got from Mikaela reassured him things would be okay, just like he'd said, and he smiled. Yuichiro nodded, returning to his spot in Mikaela's chest and settling there, huffing in comfort.
⠀⠀⠀"You don't have to choose, Yuu-chan. Please, just be happy." Mikaela murmured.
⠀⠀⠀"I am happy, Mika." Yuichiro responded.
⠀⠀⠀The rest of the night was spent in each other's arms, wrapped in blankets, wet clothing, and a pair of smiles. Mikaela tried to not take in whatever Yuichiro had just said, for he did not know exactly what he could have meant. But hopefully, it was for the better.
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Hey, Lovelies! I have presented here an early chapter, and not just an early chapter, but a longer one, too! An extra 1,000+ words!
It is kinda rushed, but I didn't know how to end it, so I'm sorry!! :c
Comment your thoughts, good or bad— they motivate me to write more.
Comment / Vote / Enjoy
See you later, Loves <3
— Scarlet
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