It was Thursday today and that meant Lauren had only today and tomorrow to either come up with a whole new collection or a single extraordinary painting that would blow everyone away....as of about an hour and a half ago she still had nothing. Truly she hadn't expected the week to go by so quickly, but when it came to spending time with two certain brunettes with brown eyes, Lauren couldn't find it in herself to say no. If it hadn't been for Dinah putting her foot down and actually locking Lauren in the apartment she would probably be with them right now - Well actually, no she wouldn't. It was four in the morning and she doubted they would be awake.
Lauren had tried to get to sleep but the pressure to create something made her hate closing her eyes because all she saw was black. So instead Lauren had spent the whole night and now morning sitting on the floor in the middle of her living room torturing herself. Dinah did this thing where when she was done dropping subtle hints that Lauren should hurry up and paint something, she would buy a whole bunch of canvases differing in size and place them all over the apartment. Right now Lauren was staring at the biggest one that took up the whole length of a wall, both in length and height - how the hell Dinah actually got it into the room will remain a mystery and Lauren realised it was way too early for her to even try understand the workings of Dinah's mind.
With a sigh she figured she may as well do something and dusted her overalls as she stood up and walked to her supply closet. She looked at all the tins of paint and realised Dinah had also decided to buy her a million more. Lauren already had a colour in mind and quickly grabbed two tins of black paint and a massive piece of material to protect the floor, dropping them ungracefully as they slipped out of her hand. Once she had taped the material down and the borders of the canvas against the wall, she tipped some of the black paint out so she could begin to roll it onto the canvas. Lauren walked back into her room, putting her hair into a messy bun and grabbing her phone and earphones. With one last look at the emptiness in front of her she put her earphones in and brought the roller onto the canvas, letting Lana Del Rey distract her from the pain she would soon be feeling in her arms.
"Blue hydrangea, cold cash, divine,
Cashmere, cologne and white sunshine.
Red racing cars, Sunset and Vine,
The kids were young and pretty.
Where have you been? Where did you go?
Those summer nights seem long ago,
And so is the girl you use to call,
The Queen of New York City.
But if you send for me you know I'll come,
And if you call for me you know I'll run.
I'll run to you, I'll run to you, I'll run, run, run.
I'll come to you, I'll come to you, I'll come come come."
Lauren had finished the second coat of black a few hours ago and went back to sitting in front of the now dark canvas, her earphones still in place. She had watched the paint dry and the sun begin to stream into the room, revealing pieces of dust floating in the air. She gently blew at them so that she could watch them perform her favourite dance - one with spins and twirls, and most important, one with grace. They travelled flawlessly and effortlessly through the air, making the sun their spotlight as each and every speck of dust showed off their talent. She felt the warmness of the sun reach her face at the same time she felt her phone vibrate in her hand.
Best Manager in the World: All black? I would say it suits you because it's the colour of your soul... but you would actually have to have one for that to be the case.
Lauren smiled as she took her earphones off and stood up to face Dinah in all her morning glory - which meant with her lion mane in tangles, eyes squinting, shirt wrinkled and making inappropriate noises while she stretched.
"I see you changed your name on my phone again, you weren't happy with 'Daddy D' anymore?" Lauren asked laughing and made her way to the kitchen with Dinah following closely behind.
"I felt like it was time for a change," Dinah shrugged, yawning before continuing, "Anyways, why the black? Is there an idea brewing in that big head of yours that you aren't telling me about?"
"I choose black because it's a mysterious colour. You can never truly know what's going to come from it... It's a colour that allows us to hide while being in plain sight. There is so much you can do with it and yet only those who are willing to try look into the darkness will find something within it - even if they can never see the full image, they will be seeing more than anyone who simply walks past it." Lauren concluded as she poured both herself and Dinah a cup of coffee.
"Okay so you have no idea what you're painting." Dinah dismissed her reasoning, immediately seeing through her bullshit.
"None whatsoever." Lauren agreed taking a sip of her coffee and revelling in its warmth as a source of comfort in her current state of stress. Dinah on the other hand made a disgusted face as she realised Lauren put no sugar or milk in hers.
"At first I had no idea how you could have your coffee like this," Dinah walked to their cupboard and proceeded to put five teaspoons of sugar into her cup, stirring and drinking some of it, finally smiling in satisfaction before continuing, "but then I realised it suits you perfectly. It got me thinking that maybe your bitterness and the bitterness of the coffee cancel each other out and that's how you drink it."
"Oh go fuc-" Lauren was interrupted by a knock on the door and she put her coffee on the counter as she walked towards the door, refusing to acknowledge Dinah any further. Unlocking the door from the series of chains Dinah had put in place took a while but once she was finally able to open it she was pleasantly surprised to see three of her favourite people.
"Camz, Sofi!" Lauren greeted them both immediately with a hug, being careful of her hands as to not accidentally put any black onto their clothes. Sofie didn't seem to notice the risk, or rather didn't care, and jumped into Lauren's arms.
"Oh okay, no 'Hey Mani!' I get it." Normani scoffed and walked passed Lauren, smacking her behind on her way to find Dinah inside the apartment.
"Watch it!" Lauren yelled at Normani before turning back to Camila, who she now saw was looking down and biting her lip. Sofie on the other hand seemed to be enjoying herself in Lauren's arms and was highly intrigued by the bun she had put her hair in and kept poking at it.
"Camz? Are you okay?" Lauren spoke gently in the hopes of encouraging her to look up. When she didn't Lauren turned to Sofie, knowing she most likely needed to speak to Camila alone.
"Hey Sof, why don't you go tell Dinah to make you some of those waffles you like!?" Sofie didn't need to be told twice and she scrabbled out of Lauren's arms, quickly making her way into the kitchen. They had spent so much time in each others homes over the past week that they now felt more than comfortable whenever they were all together.
As soon as Sofie was out of sight Lauren pulled Camila into another hug, wrapping her arms tightly around her small body and leaning her head on Camila's shoulder who immediately reciprocated the gesture. Camila took a deep breath before gently separating herself from Lauren.
"I need a favour... It's kind of a big one." Camila mumbled, playing with the sleeves of her red sweater.
"Okay? Look at me, please." Camila hesitatingly looked up at Lauren and she knew in that moment that no matter how many times she looked at Lauren, she would never be able to get use to how effortlessly beautiful she was.
"There she is." Lauren spoke with a smile and Camila immediately felt a similar one make its way onto her own face.
"Okay, tell me what you need Camz." The smile was quickly replaced with a worried expression and Camila took a deep breath before she tugged her sleeves further down and spoke.
"Well you know how both my parents are surgeons right? They really want me to go into medicine as well and they promised they would pay for it all if that's what I studied... but the thing is I don't want to do medicine. I applied for a writing scholarship at NYU without them knowing and I got an email yesterday saying that I made it into the top three candidates and I'm suppose to have an interview with them in a few hours. I was wondering if Sofie could hang out around here for maximum two hours. She basically worships you so she will do anything you say and I know it's last minute but I - " Camila suddenly felt two hands cover her mouth and a part of her was thankful because she knew she probably wouldn't have stopped talking otherwise.
"Camz, shut up for a second." Lauren laughed a little before she moved her hands off Camila's mouth and let them fall back to her side. "Okay firstly, I am so proud of you!" Lauren squealed and pulled Camila in for another hug and the younger girl couldn't help but laugh and jump up and down with her. She hadn't had anyone to share the news with that would be able to celebrate with her and to finally be able to fan girl with Lauren was exactly what she needed to calm her nerves about today. After they had settled Lauren caught her breath and spoke again. "Also I would love to have Sofie for the day! You know how much fun we both have together so I don't mind in the slightest. Now you go, get out of here! Let me know how it goes as soon as you're out, okay?"
"Thank you so much, Laur. I don't know what I'd do without you! I'm just going to go say bye to Sofie real quick!" Side by side they made their way into the kitchen where Normani was throwing strawberries at Dinah and Sofie was giggling at them.
"Hey Sofie, I'm going now. You're going to spend the day with Lauren, Okay?" Camila had bent down to face her little sister and spoke gently in case Sofie got nervous or scared about being without her for the day. The two had never been separated, even for the smallest of tasks they were always side by side and Camila was nervous that it may have an effect on Sofie.
"Bye." Sofie responded before simply turning her attention back to the strawberries and mentally calculating how long they had been on the floor to decide if she should eat them or not.
Camila huffed at her concern which was so obviously misplaced and quickly hugged both Normani and Dinah goodbye before Lauren walked her back to the door.
"Good luck, even though I doubt you need it because I'm sure you're better than everyone else who applied! I'll be thinking about you and sending you good vibes." Lauren smiled genuinely and Camila really wished she could take a picture of how cute Lauren looked at the moment with paint smudged on her forehead and her freckles standing out more than usual that made Camila fight the urge to stare and make constellations out of them all day. Lauren made Camila feel at peace and more importantly, she made Camila feel happy. She pulled Lauren into a quick hug, saying thank you a few more times before making her way towards the elevator. Just as it had arrived she heard Lauren call for her attention.
"Camz! Are you sure you don't want to put a shirt on? They said it was going to be really hot today!" It was an innocent suggestion but it was one that made Camila instantly anxious.
"N-no. I'm good! This is, my um... This is my lucky sweater." She struggled to lie and held on tightly to the ends of her sweater, not wanting them to roll up even the slightest inch.
"Ah, makes sense! Make sure to stay hydrated and good luck again!" Lauren gave her a small wave as she entered the elevator and waited for the doors to close. Once Camila was hidden behind them she let out a deep sigh and felt all the nerves for the interview come back to her. Being in Lauren's presence made her forget about all her worries and sadness. She almost thought about ditching the interview and just spending the day with Lauren but that wouldn't be right. She needed to do this. She needed to believe in herself again. Exiting the elevator she walked outside the building and got into the first taxi she saw, instructing them to go to the NYU campus.
//
"Why is there nothing on everything?" Sofie inquired as she finally acknowledge all the empty canvases around her.
"Yeah Lauren, why is there nothing on everything?" Dinah taunted as she followed Sofie into the living room with a smirk on her face.
"Dinah don't." Lauren warned, getting up from her seat in the kitchen and joining them in staring at the emptiness that surrounded the room.
"Lo lo?" Sofie turned to Lauren expectantly and Lauren brought a hand up to scratch the back of her neck as she tried to find the best way to explain to Sofie that she was a failure of an artist.
"I kinda like the black one, it really brings out your heart." Normani commented as she leant against the archway of the kitchen just outside the room the rest of them were standing in.
"Normani!" Lauren immediately scolded her while Dinah began to laugh and Sofie remained clueless as she followed the conversation by moving her head to whoever was talking trying her best to understand something.
"When was the last time I told you I loved you?" Dinah asked with a smile as she got up from the couch and walked towards Normani.
"Aw baby! I love you too!" Normani squealed when Dinah picked her up and gave her a quick peck before they separated.
"Hey Sofie, let's say bye to Mani and Dinah so we can start having some fun!" Lauren may have exaggerated her enthusiasm as she picked Sofie up from the floor with a wide smile and roughly began to push her best friends with her free arm out of the door.
"Have fun on your date! Bye!" Without giving them a chance to respond Lauren slammed the door on their faces and let out a relieved sigh. She turned to Sofie who seemed completely content just being in her arms and smiled at how adorable she looked.
"Hey Sof, how do you feel about helping me paint?" Sofie squealed and started nodding her head, immediately approving the idea. Lauren laughed and set Sofie down as she ran to her room to grab an old shirt to put on the little girl so she didn't dirty the clothes she had on.
Quickly grabbing her phone on her way out she found Sofie struggling to get a tin of purple paint open. Chuckling to herself she put her phone in the dock and searched till she found One Direction, knowing that Sofie was basically a smaller version of Camila - especially with her taste in music. Once the music filled the apartment she walked to Sofie, helping her open the tin with a flat head screwdriver she had in her overall pocket from opening the black tins earlier.
"There you go, nugget. Now lift your arms up." Sofie followed the instruction with a wide grin and let Lauren put a plain white t-shirt on her before she dipped both hands into the tin of purple and started to rub her hands all over the blank canvas she had chosen.
"Sneaks out in the middle of the night, yeah
Tight dress with the top cut low
She's addicted to the feeling of letting go
Let it go
She walks in and the room just lights up
But she don't want anyone to know
That I'm the only one that gets to take her home
Take her home
But every time I tell her that I want more
She closes the door"
Lauren began to strum her air guitar as soon as the song started and shaking her head as she sang along. Sofie remained focused on her painting while she awkwardly moved her hips side to side, trying to concentrate on both dancing and painting was proving to be a difficult task for the little one.
"Take it away Sofie!!" Lauren shouted over the music laughing at how free she felt in the moment.
"She's not afraid of all the attention
She's not afraid of running wild
How come she's so afraid of fallin' in love
She's not afraid of scary movies
She likes the way we kiss in the dark
But she's so afraid of fa - fa- falling in love
Oooh"
Sofie belted out the lyrics and Lauren couldn't help but join in as they shouted at one another and danced around the room, flailing their arms about and Lauren picking Sofie up to spin her around before purposefully falling onto the ground. Sofie placed both of her purple hands on Lauren's face and started giggling when she realised what she had just done. Lauren realised in that moment exactly what she wanted to paint - She wanted to paint happiness, she wanted to paint comfort, she wanted to paint love and she wanted to paint innocence.
Driven with inspiration she rushed off the floor and got every single tin of paint out the closet and moved them to the middle of the living room. She made quick work of moving all the furniture and covering the floor before opening the tins and moving to stand in front of the black canvas she had painted over earlier. Sofie was going crazy with all the colours in front of her and kept dipping her hands into every single tin, unintentionally mixing the colours as she moved from canvas to canvas decorating them all with paint. Lauren immediately grabbed the white tin once she realised what Sofie was doing and turned back to the blackness in front of her, smiling for the first time in a very long time with a brush in her hand. Lauren kept seeing the sun and the moon, but instead of seeing them as giant masses in space, she was seeing them as two people... and what would happen if the human version of the sun and moon were to hug? What can make you feel more happy than a hug from someone you love and care about? What makes you feel more comfortable than letting yourself fall into the arms of someone you trust? What makes you feel more loved than a hug when you are at your lowest point? What is more innocent than a hug?
"Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this in mind, it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when
You smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs, the
Dimples on your back at the bottom of your spine
But i'll love them endlessly"
Lauren had already begun to outline one person, dotting them with white close clusters to define the body before expanding away from it to decorate the rest of the darkness of the canvas to further represent the stars in the night sky. On the persons arm she drew a crescent moon to emphasise their role as night time - as the physical embodiment of the moon. Lauren had been so caught up in her work that she hadn't realised Sofie being awfully quiet and the music having stopped playing. Turning around she saw Sofie sitting down behind her and staring at her in complete and utter awe.
"Woah." Sofie stood up, paint dripping from the no longer white shirt and her small hands. She kept looking at the painting and then at Lauren as though something completely magical had taken place.
"Do you want to help me?" Lauren knelt down beside Sofie and looked at what she had painted so far as a whole for the first time and couldn't help but smile at how it was coming together. She looked over at Sofie who looked down and started to nervously play with her hands, picking at the parts where paint had dried.
"What if I ruin it?" Sofie whispered, as though asking the question any louder would make her fear real. Lauren pulled Sofie into her side, kissing her lightly on her forehead before pulling back and holding her face in both of her palms.
"Now come on, when has a Queen ever ruined anything?" Lauren whispered back before winking at Sofie and grabbing her hand to walk with her closer to the painting.
"This person here is going to be the sun, so what I want you to do is think of all the colours you have ever seen in the sky during the day - from the moment the sun begins to shine all the way to the moment it sets and put those colour inside the lines. You can do it with your hands and fingers and just do little strokes of different colours. That doesn't sound too hard now does it?" Lauren saw Sofie shake her head in agreeance. She grabbed one of Sofie's fingers and dipped it into the yellow tin that Sofie had mixed with a little red, making it appear a light orange. Guiding Sofie's finger she brought it onto the canvas and smiled as she saw Sofie beam with excitement.
"I did it Lo Lo!" Sofie's happiness only continued to grow the more the two worked together on finishing the painting and Lauren had started to play music again to accompany them which immediately resulted in them starting to dance like maniacs.
"And when the lights start flashing like a photo booth
And the stars exploding
We'll be fireproof
My youth
My youth is yours
Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls
My youth
My youth is yours
Run away now and forevermore
My youth
My youth is yours
The truth so loud you can't ignore
My youth, my youth, my youth
My youth is yours"
Lauren put out a fist towards Sofie to which she returned by hitting her own against it. They both had taken a few steps back and folded their arms over their chest to look at the painting they had just completed. Lauren had signed her name on the bottom right hand corner and insisted on Sofie doing the same. Together they admired it for a few seconds longer until both their stomachs grumbled.
"Pizza?" Lauren asked looking down at Sofie who was already looking up at her in pure amazement.
"Can I keep you?" Lauren couldn't help but laugh as she bent down to give Sofie a hug, only confirming she had painted the perfect concept. She told Sofie to go change out of the shirt she was wearing and that if the paint had gone through she could pick anything out of Lauren's closet. While Sofie went she looked at her phone only to see a series of text messages from Camila explaining why she had been gone for most of the day rather than two hours, not that Lauren particularly minded. Before opening the messages Lauren ordered the pizza, knowing that she most likely wouldn't be able to handle a sassy and hangry Sofie.
C: Hey Laur, I just got here! I am so nervous it's insane. Everyone looks so smart! And they all have a portfolio... I didn't bring anything, I am totally screwed.
C: Oh my god I'm the last one left in the room. I can't do this. Save me.
Lauren noticed there was a three hour gap until the next message appeared meaning the meeting had gone longer than what Camila had estimated.
C: Okay that wasn't that bad... except for the fact that they asked me to come up with something on the spot seen as I didn't have a fucking portfolio with me.
C: Do you know how hard it is to write in front of three prestigious authors?!
C: Anyways, I'm on my way back home now. I hope you and Sofie are okay, get back to me.
C: There has been a massive crash and I'm stuck in traffic. Of course. I'm sorry I'm taking so long!I'll probably be back by 6 the latest. If traffic doesn't clear up soon I'm just going to walk home.
C: Okay I am walking home.
Lauren saw Sofie come out wearing her The 1975 shirt that really looked more like a dress on her and she smiled, extremely proud of the little girls choice of clothing.
"This is one of Kaki's favourite bands too. Where is she?" Sofie walked up to Lauren who had taken a seat on the couch and climbed into her lap.
"How about we call her and find out?" Lauren held Sofie close to her and she dialled Camila and put it on loud speaker.
"Laur?" Camila's voice came back flustered and she sounded incredibly out of breath.
"Hey Camz! How are you? Where are you, actually? And also sorry I didn't respond sooner, Sof and I were painting!"
"I'm about 20 minutes away and it's okay, I figured you two were having lots of fun without me." Camila faked offence but really Lauren could hear the smile in her voice.
"I miss you, Kaki! The pizza just got here so hurry up. I'll try save you a piece!" Sofie ran to the door to open it and Lauren followed closely behind her taking the phone off speaker and bringing it to her ear.
"Please save me some pizza, I am starving." Camila begged in the hopes that Lauren would show some mercy.
"Don't worry Camz, I will. Just get here safely, Sofie isn't the only one that misses you."
"I'll see you soon Laur!"
//
Camila was out of breath and extremely warm by the time she arrived back at the apartment complex. Unconsciously she rolled the sleeves up of her sweater not even thinking twice of it as she continued to moved her hair out of her face and let out a puff of air. Once in the elevator Camila took a few steps back until she hit the back of it and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to really try process everything that had happened today. She got into NYU. She got the scholarship. Out of five hundred applicants, she was the one that was successful. The thought alone seemed so surreal that she started laughing at herself. These things never happened to her and she couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, her luck was beginning to change.
She rushed down the hallway and knocked on Lauren's door, already excited to see the beautiful girl she had gotten increasingly close to over the past week. She wasn't disappointed when she saw those green eyes that had plagued every dream of hers since she first saw them and was even more endeared when she saw Sofie fast asleep in her arms.
"Hey Camz." Lauren spoke gently not wanting to wake Sofie up. She held Sofie up with one arm as the other arm revealed a plate with two slices of pizza on it.
"Hey Laur, thank you so much for today. I honestly don't know how I would have done it all without you." Camila reached out to grab Sofie first out of Lauren's arms who immediately grabbed onto Camila and buried her face into her neck, too tired to even complain about the sudden movement.
"Anytime, Camz. Honestly I had a great day with her. You'll have to let me know how everything went tomorrow. Oh and don't forget the pizza." Lauren offered Camila the plate and she reached out to grab it, only she realised too late that her sleeves were still up and with her whole forearm on display she heard Lauren gasp - maybe her luck hadn't changed at all.
"Camila..."
A/N
Hello beautiful people! I just wanted to let you all know that the next few chapters will have trigger warnings and I ask that you please only read them if you feel comfortable with them and think you can handle it.
On much more positive note I really am enjoying writing and I look forward to seeing where this fic takes me. I do hope you guys are enjoying reading it - any feedback or even suggestions are always welcomed and I will certainly take them into consideration!
I also just wanted to give a quick shout out to my best friend who has an insane amount of patience with me when I have writers block and listens to me complain for hours only to then find time in her day to edit all of these chapters for me, thank you Cass!
Okay that's all from me, little monsters!
Stay freaky, stay happy, stay dirty and stay excellent. Xx