Lodareth
It was another seven weeks before a letter from Coda arrived for me.
I stared blankly at the parchment for a moment, wondering about the red wax seal with a wonky letter carved into it, before realising the groove was a rough 'C'.
Relief flooded through me at finally having heard from him. I took the letter, whistled for Jakke and sped down to the gardens, where I found a nice, secluded patch beneath the wide boughs of an old beech tree to read.
My dearest Lodareth,
My journey south has been long, but safe. I know you will worry about me, so let me tell you now that I've entered King Ranald's kingdom safely.
I've tonight come to a village called Idaiz Pass.
It's a two day ride from the border, and lies in a valley between three mountains. It's the most beautiful place I think I've ever visited. There are little farms all around, and I've already found a little tavern and the blacksmith's forge.
I've spoken to one of the serving girls at the tavern, Sunnia, and she's told me about an empty cottage in the village. I'm planning to go and speak to the Lord of the village, Lord Marnes, and ask about settling in the cottage.
I'll send you word again when I know what's happening; I'll either stay in Idaiz Pass, or I'll go to another village, until I can find somewhere to live.
I want to thank you again for your generosity; I waited until I was far away from Moonmount before looking in the coin purse you gave me.
If I am able to settle here, it's because your kindness had allowed me to do so. I should ordinarily never be able to afford to settle in a village. I would normally be forced to look for work with another Lord.
I am hoping to buy some more horses, and go into business as a courser. I'm looked around the cottage tonight, and there are stables built behind it, as well as large pastures.
Tell Cassius I'm okay. I hope he and Beth are working through what happened together. I'd love for him to come and visit me when I'm settled, but I know that isn't an option, so tell him to hurry up with learning to write so he can send me letters.
I think I'll enjoy living here; I hope I can settle permanently.
I'll write again soon, hopefully with news that I'm staying in Idaiz Pass. Wait until you hear from me again before you write back. I don't want to miss hearing from you.
Your Faithful Servant
I read the letter twice through, before letting out a sigh of relief.
All of the tension from the days since Coda had left Moonmount – all of my fears that he had been attacked or injured on his journey – were finally leaving me with the arrival of his letter.
My father's patrols had all returned, and none of them had been able to find any sign of Coda.
I had been pleased to hear that most of the men had journeyed northwards for almost a week before doubling back and riding south, meaning Coda had been given an extra twelve days to get as far away from Moonmount as he could.
I clutched the letter tightly for a moment, before getting to my feet and wandering towards the stables with Jakke.
Cassius and three other grooms were busy brining horses in for the evening when I entered the stableyard.
Thoma and Matthias were sat on a bench, pouring over a large piece of parchment.
"Cassius," I called for him and he scurried across to me, dusting his hands off.
"Yes, my Lord?" He looked at me expectantly. "Did you want Galion?"
"No. Come with me."
We walked around towards the training arenas, out-of-sight of the stables
"I've had a letter from Coda." I handed him the parchment.
He gazed at it apprehensively for a moment.
"What's the matter?" I asked him.
"It's... your letter, my Lord." He said, pushing the parchment back at me. "It's yours."
I smiled.
"I don't mind you reading it. There's nothing in there that's... I don't mind."
He hesitated for a moment longer, before he opened the folded parchment and read the letter quickly.
He was smiling faintly by the end of the letter.
"I'm glad he's alright," he breathed. "I was worried about him."
"Me too." I rubbed my eyes wearily. "I feel much better, knowing he's safely in another kingdom, but I miss him. I really miss him."
"I miss him too." Cassius said sadly. "I'm friends with all of the grooms here, and we get on really well with each other, but Coda... I don't know what is was about him, but I just felt so comfortable around him. He was more like a brother to me than anyone else I've ever known."
I nodded.
"I'll write back to him when his next letter comes. If you want to write to him as well, I can send the letters together."
"Alright, my Lord. I'll give you my letter when I'm finished."
*
It was over a week before Coda's second letter arrived.
A messenger delivered the letter to me almost immediately after breakfast.
I retreated to my chambers to read the letter in privacy.
My dearest Lodareth,
I've just returned from speaking with Lord Marnes' advisor, and had to write to you immediately upon returning to Idaiz Pass.
I've purchased the house I told you about; Sunnia says the cottage was called Bluebell Cottage by the old physician who used to live here, so you can address all of your letters to me here in Idaiz Pass from now on.
Sunnia says there's a farmers' fair every three months at the next village, which is about three hours ride away, and the next one is in three weeks' time. I plan to go and look around, and perhaps buy a horse or two, if I can find any for a fair price.
Sunnia's father owns the tavern, and he says there might be some work for me in his small stables – he mostly looks after traveller's horses if they're staying at the tavern - until I am able to start selling horses.
I'm looking forward to working for myself. I think it will be interesting. I've always loved going to farmers fairs, and being able to buy and sell my own horses there is something I have dreamt of doing since I was small.
Sunnia has promised to introduce me to other people in the village tomorrow, and I hope to be able to buy some furniture for the cottage. I know there's a carpenter in the village, and a blacksmith, and Sunnia mentioned there was a small trader behind the tavern. And some of the farmers grow straw and hay, so I'm hoping to buy supplies for the horses from them.
I have to thank you again for your generosity; without you, I know I would never be able to afford more horses of my own, or a home. I wish you could see my new home. I know you'd love it here. Everything is peaceful, and the people are so friendly.
I miss you, my love, more than ever now that I've finally realised that our separation is final. I suppose while I was travelling a part of me still hoped that one day I could return Moonmount, but buying Bluebell Cottage and beginning to settle in Idaiz Pass has made me understand that I can't come back.
Please know, my love, that I do love you, and a part of me always will, but I cannot help but feel that the great distance between us and the laws of Benedict's kingdom will prevent us meeting again.
Therefore, Lodareth, please try to forget about me. I know you can do so much with your life; you were born to run Moonmount, and I know you will be really good at it. The servants love you, and your tenant farmers respect you. You should turn your attentions to the castle.
I'll let you decide if you want to write back to me, given everything I've said above.
If you don't want to write, I understand, and I can only end this letter by telling you again that I miss you, I'm proud of you, and I love you, with all my heart.
Your Faithful Servant
I stared at the letter for a moment, completely taken by surprise, before I glared at the dark words on the parchment.
He wanted me to forget about him?
He wanted me to move on?
I swallowed my anger and stood up, determined to write back to him immediately and demand that he stop having those foolish thoughts.
But as I walked up to my study, I realised there was some sense in his words; he could never come back here, and even if I could go and visit him, any visits I could make to him couldn't be regular.
The distance, as he said, was too great.
I would be away from the castle for too long.
I went into my study and sank down on a settle before the fire, feeling thoroughly miserable.
My father came looking for me a while later; he came into my study and started speaking, before seeing that I wasn't listening to him at all.
"Lodareth!" His sharp tone finally shook me from my musing.
"What is the matter?" I asked, seeing he looked harried.
"You need to come down to the stables. The Lords and Ladies are arriving soon."
He stared at me for a moment.
"What is wrong, Lodareth?" He demanded. "You haven't been the same since I returned."
"It's nothing-" I began.
"No," he snapped sharply, startling me. "We're going to settle this, today, Lodareth. I'm sick of seeing you sulking around the castle."
"I'm not sulking." I grumbled.
I hesitated, before seeing his determined look – the look I myself also possessed – and sighing.
"You remember on the day Lady Mirande arrived, you told me about the maid you loved when you were younger?"
"Yes."
"Well, I... I love someone too."
My father laughed suddenly.
"I should have guessed. She doesn't return your affections?"
"No, she does. It's just that she had to leave the castle. Before you came back."
I thought hard for a moment, inventing wildly.
"She left to care for some elderly family members. She's in Ranald's kingdom now."
"And you are finding it hard to forget her?" Father asked, looking surprisingly sympathetic.
I nodded miserably.
"We didn't have much time to say goodbye... The journey to Ranald's kingdom takes so long, that she got the news she had to leave, and was gone the next morning."
My father was silent for a while.
"What should I do, father?"
"Do you know where she's living now?"
"Yes."
"I think you should go and see her." He said.
I gaped at him.
"What?"
"I think you need to see her, and talk to her. You need to end the relationship in such a way that you can accept that it's over."
"I would be gone for a long time," I said doubtfully. "She sent me a letter, saying it took her six weeks to finish the journey."
"I can spare you for several months," he said with a faint smile. "Stay another week or so, for my wedding, and leave after the celebrations are over."
"Alright," I smiled at him. "Thank you, father. I was not expecting to feel better, but I do now."
"Good." He smiled briefly. "Now, Espan is in your chambers. Go and change quickly, and come down to the stables. Our guests are arriving."
"Yes, father." I hurried along to my chambers, feeling happier than I had done in weeks.
Espan was arranging my clothes on the bed when I entered, carefully brushing down the sleeves of my clean undershirt and the body of my tunic.
Today, he had opted for a bright red tunic, simply embroidered with my family's crest and motto, black breeches, newly-polished boots, and my golden signet ring.
I dressed in silence, and let Espan brush me down and neatly arrange my hair.
"You seem happier today, my Lord." He commented as he worked.
"I spoke with my father," I told him. "He helped me to feel better. I'm going to visit Coda."
"Is that wise, my Lord?" He asked tentatively.
I looked across at him.
"Perhaps not. I have no idea how he will react when I turn up at his home. But I can't sit here any longer and sulk over him. I need... I don't know what I need. But I hope that seeing him again will help."
"When do you leave, my Lord?"
"As soon as the celebrations for my father's wedding are ended. If you could start preparing my luggage trunks. I don't want to take anything fancy. Just simple clothes, and a few travelling clothes."
"How long will you be gone, my Lord? How much shall I pack?"
"The journey there and back will take twelve weeks. I suppose I'll stay with Coda for a week or two. Longer, if possible."
"I'll start preparations, my Lord."
He checked over my appearance once again, decided I was suitably attired and presentable, and departed.
I whistled for Jakke, lying on his usual rug beside the fire like a statue, and made my way down to the stables.
A soft horn sounded from the Gatehouse just as I stepped into the stableyard.
The grooms, lining the sides of the yard, in front of the stalls, snapped to attention, waiting for the carriages to arrive.
Once the first carriage arrived, the servants sprang into action with practised efficiency; once the visiting Lords and Ladies descended the steps, the carriages were driven out of the stableyard and around towards the storage barns; grooms followed to collect the horses.
The Teamster, Matthias, was directing the visiting coachmen in the placement of the carriages inside the barn.
I stepped back to let my father and Lady Mirande greet the Lords and Ladies first; Thea Luande and myself greeted them afterwards, and only briefly, since the travellers were eager to be shown to their quarters to wash and change.
Visiting servants were carrying luggage trunks and various wrapped parcels up to the castle; there, the castle footmen and maids were waiting to assist with the unpacking of the luggage and directing the guests to their chambers.
It was rare that my father and I had this many visitors to the castle, and although I knew the extra work the guests placed upon the servants, seeing them all work so quickly and capably reflected very well upon my father, and myself.
When all of the carriages had been stored away, the horses stabled or taken to the pastures, the luggage trunks removed to the castle, and the guests departed for their chambers, it was almost time for luncheon.
Father and Lady Mirande returned to the castle, leaving me alone with Thea and Luande.
I stepped aside to find Cassius as they turned to walk up to the castle together.
Cass was hurrying between the feed barn and the stalls, ensuring all of the horses were fed and watered.
"How many times have I told you not to put Clover and Hoof in stalls beside each other?" He snarled at one of the newer grooms, hired to replace Coda. "I reminded you twice last night, and this morning that they never settle when they're next to each other."
He thrust the rope at the groom, clipped the groom sharply around the back of the head, and pushed him towards one of the few remaining empty stalls, on the other side of the yard.
"He's still learning," I laughed, approaching Cassius.
He started at my voice, and turned quickly.
"My Lord," he smiled faintly. "He needs to learn faster. I wish the new boys were as fast at learning as Co-"
He broke off abruptly, and we shared an awkward silence for a moment.
"Is there something you needed, my Lord?"
"No. I had to come down and greet the guests as they arrived. While they are all changing for luncheon, I thought I could come and tell you that my father has told me to go and visit Coda."
He blinked in surprise.
"He is going to let you visit Coda?"
"Yes. He thinks Coda is a woman, but he knows I will have to travel to Ranald's kingdom to see her."
Cassius smiled at me.
"Well, that is good news, my Lord. And Coda will be surprised."
I grinned.
"I came to ask if you wanted to come with me when I go."
"Me?" He stared. "Thank you, my Lord, but I couldn't have that much time away from work."
"I thought you might like to stay with him, in Idaiz Pass."
"My Lord?" He frowned slightly. "Are you displeased with me, my Lord? I know I have been spending a lot of time with you recently, but I didn't realise I was burdensome to you."
"You're not, Cassius. Not at all. I had another letter from Coda this morning. He's bought the cottage he mentioned in his first letter, and he's excited to be starting his own trade. I thought you might like to go and work with him. After all, what is there left at the castle for you? Your parents are dead, and after the business with Beth..."
I shrugged, suddenly feeling presumptuous.
"I would love to go, my Lord. If Coda would let me stay."
"If course he would," I laughed. "Even if he didn't, you could come back with me, and I would ensure your job was still waiting for you here."
He smiled broadly.
"Thank you, my Lord. I will ensure all of my belongings are packed. When do you plan to leave?"
"A few days after my father's wedding celebrations end, when the guests have all departed. When my plans are clearer, I will tell you when to be ready."
"Alright, my Lord. I should get back to work now."
I nodded and watched him depart, before turning and walking slowly back up to the castle.
The aching knot that had taken up residence inside my chest since Coda's departure had loosened considerably after speaking with my father, but the knowledge that I had to sit through two weeks of tedious conversation with Lords and Ladies I barely knew prevented it dissipating completely.
Jakke trotted away as I entered the castle, no doubt on the trail of one of the numerous lapdogs the visiting Ladies had brought with them.
I hovered in the hallway for a moment, unsure of where to go; I was dressed for luncheon, Father and Lady Mirande were nowhere to be seen, and the guests were occupied in washing and dressing.
Eventually, I decided to go to the Great Hall and wait for everyone else to join me.