Loud music blares through the overhead speakers as I shuffle through another rack of clothing. My fingers run over the material as I peek at the different gowns. Dress after dress, nothing catches my eye, not even the sparkly dresses loaded with bling.
The dresses are beautiful but they aren't what I need for the engagement party. Finding something eloquent without the price tag to accompany it seems to be the main challenge. I can only hope I won't face the same issue with my wedding dress, but knowing my luck, it'll be over before we've started.
"What about this dress?" Charlotte calls out.
She holds up a dress we passed in the previous shop which I kind of liked until I tried it on. We've seen so many dresses, my brain is about to turn into mush.
"No, but maybe something similar would be nice."
We continue through the shop until I hit the last rack. Relief courses through my body because it means we can finally quit for the day. My feet are aching and I need food and water before I waste away.
I rummage through the dresses until I notice the old, battered leather seat tucked into the corner. Before I realise what I'm doing, my feet are traveling across the room and my bottom is planted on the cushion. It isn't the comfiest, but the seat offers my feet some relief.
"I would push through but then I saw the seat." I laugh. "I'm dead, shopping is so hard."
"After this, I'm begging Kyle to rub my feet."
"I'm with you on that!" I nod my head.
She shuffles through the rest of the rack and then throws her hands into the air. With frazzled expressions, we leave the store and hobble to the car park. On the way there, we weave through the streams of traffic.
I glance at the passing shops, double checking to ensure we haven't missed anything. But as the shops pass and the manikins fade into my distant memory, nothing stands out. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I'll find it.
What I notice, is the way Charlotte's attention is captured by small children and babies. As the afternoon roles through, the shops flock with different people. Mothers and their children, teens dressed in their school clothing and workers rushing between jobs.
I never noticed this until now, I wonder if she's searching for her child. That by some sheer luck, perhaps he'll waddle past with his parents. It's unlikely, but hope keeps us moving forward. I know I said I wanted nothing to do with this, but my heart still burns.
I wasn't being fair on Charlotte; I was being selfish. It's hard to play that balancing act—the one where you're trying to protect yourself but also protect your friends.
Charlotte and I wander through the electric sliding doors and progress across the pathway. I open my bag and shuffle through the content to find my keys.
As I press the button to disarm the car, I nibble on my lower lip. There's no smooth way to ask her how she's feeling. Besides, I've never been smooth or subtle about anything, so why bother beating around the bush if you can just leap over it.
I yank on the door and slip into the car. The doors clank behind us and I shove the key into the engine. With the privacy and subtle distraction, I dart straight in.
"How's the search coming along?" I peek to the side to witness Charlotte's stunned expression.
"I know what I'm doing is wrong and so I'm going to let go, but I can only do that if I can write a letter explaining my truth along with the prospect of one day meeting him in the future."
"Are the parents willing to do that?"
"Apparently they're thinking about it, so who knows what could happen. I've always assumed that at some point, they'd tell him he was adopted and that I'd get the chance to be in his life. Now I'm learning that he might never know he was adopted or the chance to see him."
"Char, I'm sure they need some time to consider it. Besides, one day, he will put a and b together or he'll stumble across paperwork that tells him otherwise. I think if things are meant to be, they will be."
"I hope you're right, Ava, because I'm ready to move on with my life. I want the white picket fence life you have with Blake and it'll only happen once I've finished with this chapter of my life."
"Are we having a family photo shoot so that when he gets his letter, he'll get a briefing on all the extended family just waiting to love and adore him?" I laugh.
"We should do that."
"We have a fucked up family, but I love it." I grin.
"Oh goodness, we sure are."
"Besides the stress of the wedding, how's the planning for the engagement party going?"
"Well. We decided on a vineyard, so most of it is already done. Angela and Mum have been helping me with the planning, so not much left to go. It'll be a mad rush on the day to set up the decorations, but it'll be worth it."
"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."
"Thank you so much–I will send you a list." I laugh.
"What are you going to do about the dress situation?"
"I'm just going to wear whatever I have at home because I can't be bothered searching any more damn shops." I shake my head.
"Do you even have something?"
"There's the dress I wore to Mr & Mrs. Rivers anniversary party or the dress Blake purchased when he took me out to dinner. Bother could work for the occasion. I was shopping because I wanted to find something different for the engagement party, now I don't care if I wear a garbage bag with some rope for a belt."
"Wow, that's a very different mindset! I'm sure both dresses are a great option."
"Thanks. What about yourself? Do you have anything planned or are you going to fight the shops again?" I chuckle.
"I might dig something out of my wardrobe. I'm sure I have something floating around in need of rescuing."
"Dang, now I feel like shopping really was a waste of time. It might have been alright if you found something." I sigh.
"It's fine, besides, that's what friends are for." She winks. "Maybe even bridesmaids?"
"Bridesmaids? Huh!" I look over my shoulder before switching lanes.
"Are you having any at the wedding?"
Now she's less subtle than me; didn't think that was possible.
"I was thinking about skipping that part. So much stress with finding dresses, shoes, and all that stuff. I'm also worried Kyle will fight the females in my life to be the maid of honor."
I keep my eyes trained on the road to avoid looking at any disappointed faces. If I keep them in the dark, then they won't see my proposal coming.
I'm only getting married once, so I want to ask them in a memorable way. Besides, my cousin isn't arriving until the party, so it's put my plans behind.
"I think Kyle would do that." She laughs. "We'll be cheering you on from the crowd then!"
"Thank you." I smile.
When I pull into the driveway, Char grabs her things and walks around to my side. She tightly wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me in for a hug.
"Thank you for today."
"No, thank you for the help! I enjoyed the company. And, if you need someone to be there for you, I will do it. Just call or message me."
"I'm grateful, thank you, Ava."
We part ways, Charlotte leaving to get into her car while I walk to the house. When I open the front door, I hear the music loudly playing in the kitchen accompanied by laughter. I quietly close the door and then hurry down the hallway to check out the commotion.
As I peek my head around the corner, I see Blake sliding across the kitchen floor on his knees. He's holding a wooden spoon to his mouth and the other hand is in the air.
"If you can see I'm the one who understands you," he shouts. "Been here all along so why can't you see."
London runs after Blake and plonks herself beside his thigh. She looks up at him and giggles before reaching out to grab the wooden spoon. He gives it to her, then goes to get up. In the process, he glances to the side and sees me.
"Beautiful singing," I compliment.
"You should join us."
Blake grabs my hand and yanks me into the kitchen. He grabs one hand and wraps the other around my waist. I place my other hand on his shoulder and we dance. We aren't elegant dancing because we're both trying to lead and stepping on toes.
London jumps up and down with the wooden spoon still clasped in her hand.
"Standing by and waiting at your back door. All this time how could you not know," Blake sings.
"Baby, you belong with me. You belong with me."
He twirls me around and tugs me back in. My body slams against Blake's chest and I glance up to his sparkling green eyes.
"Yes, you do, Mrs. Soon-to-be-Rivers." Blake chuckles.
London wraps her arms around Blake's leg which pulls us apart. She tugs at his jeans, eager to have her turn at dancing.
Blake gently spins her around and then kisses her rosy cheek.
"I love you, Lo."
"I love you, Daddy." She smiles.
"Now come on, we've got food to cook." Blake helps London onto her stool and then passes her a mixing bowl.
As I watch the pair, I get a glimpse of the future and it scares me.