Teacher: A pig gives bacon. A sheep gives lamb. What does the cow give?
Student: Homework
Teacher: I want everyone who thinks they are an idiot to stand up.
* Boy stands up*
Teacher: Why do you think you are an idiot?
Student: I don't, I just didn't want you to be standing up on your own.
Teacher: Where is your book?
Student: At home.
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having lots more fun than me.
Teacher: I give you 2 dogs. Then I give you another 2 dogs. How many dogs do you have?
Student: 5
Teacher: How?
Student: I already have 1 dog.
Student: (to teacher) Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework!
Teacher: If 2 and 2 is 4, then what is 4 and 4?
Student: That's not fair, you always do the easy ones and leave the hard ones for me.
Teacher: What is the outside of a tree called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Bark.
Student: Woof!
Teacher: Give me an example of an animal that can live on land and water.
Student: A frog.
Teacher: Another example?
Student: Another frog.