After everything that happened with Locklyn the other day, she is sober and back to normal, but, I wonder how long it will last. Her birthday is in five days and she will want to drink and party. I don't like seeing her ruin herself because of anxiety and depressed thoughts. She is my everything and I don't like to see her hurt or in pain. I'm trying my best to keep it together and at times I want to break down and cry. I don't want Locklyn to see me cry.
Today is our anniversary and I decided to take her on a hike and a picnic. She doesn't know I planned all of this and want to surprise her.
Trace came into the room I created in the basement to skin, cut, and prep the meat for eating. I didn't want to do it outside because of bacteria and other things that can ruin the meat and get everyone sick.
"Hey," I said while cleaning up the mess I made with the fish he caught yesterday. "Is everything all set?"
"Yeah, and just in case I put blankets out there if you two want to be alone and stuff." I shook my head. "She took out the bottle of whiskey."
"Why didn't you stop her? Now she is going to be drunk and I didn't want that, especially tonight." He shrugged. I sighed, pushed by him, and ran up the steps and into the kitchen. "Locklyn, what are you doing?" I yelled at her while she chugged down the drink she made. She had a tank top with no pants on.
She looked perfect though. Her body is slender, her collar and hip bones sticking out just a bit, her ribs outlined on her sides, and her long tan legs shined. God, I hate and love when she does this.
She smiled back at me and continued drinking. I snapped out of my mesmerizing state and took the glass away from her. "Get some damn clothes on. What are you doing walking around here with no clothes on? I talked to you about this the other day and you still aren't listening to me. You aren't a child Locklyn, you are an adult and adults wear clothes."
"I don't want to. It's too hot." She went to the living room and blasted the radio. She began to sing and jump around.
I went to our room and locked the door. The journals we were assigned were sitting on the desk. I took mine and began to write a small entry, what we are supposed to do every day, and I think I am the only one writing. I picked up Locklyn's and wrote the date. She has been writing, some things are jumbled and I think it's because she was drunk and then some things make sense.
I wonder what my mother, stepfather, and brothers are doing right this second. They probably don't understand what happened to me and why I'm not home, then again, my stepfather always said I would leave and run just like my father. That is just one out of a hundred reasons why I hate him and we don't get along.
I was nine when they told me they were having a baby. I was angry because that was when my father was becoming more distant in my life, my mother just got married, and my stepfather was an asshole. I didn't talk to my mother for two days and refused to leave my room. My brother, Niko, was born the following spring and when I first met him, he looked exactly like me, and I thought that having a brother was amazing. Two and half years later came my second brother, Ruben, and he is a ball of energy and always sneaking into my room during the night and climbing into bed with me. I miss him the most because he would come to me instead of my step-father, and I loved seeing my stepfather jealous.
One time, when Locklyn was sleeping over, Ruben snuck into my room during the night and saw us kissing and watching TV on mute. He ran out, grabbed his blanket, put it over his head to be invisible, and climbed in-between Locklyn and I. Since that moment, he has loved Locklyn and is always asking if she is going to move in and live there forever.
Tears streamed down my face. Thinking about my brothers is causing me pain. They look up to me, they depend on me, they are me. I wish they were here with us, then maybe Locklyn wouldn't be drinking, Hadley wouldn't be having panic attacks, and Anya wouldn't be tucked away in the basement.
Someone knocked on the door and I wiped my eyes and opened it. Locklyn came in and lunged herself onto the bed and lied there for a second. She then turned to her back and looked me in the face seeing my eyes red and puffy and watery.
"Were you crying?" I nodded and sat down at the edge of the bed. "Why are you crying? Don't cry or you'll make me cry also. Everything is okay."
"It's nothing, baby. I just have a lot going through my mind and needed to let it out by crying." She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.
She whispered in my ear, "tell me." I looked at her and grinned. "What are you thinking about?"
"My brothers..."
"And what else?" she asked quickly pushing away from me and smiling widely. I stood up and stared at her. "Anything else you were thinking about?" she lied back and motioned me to come towards her.
I took my shirt off and began to kiss her deeply. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her body. My heart was aching, not in a bad way, but in a good way, and fast. It felt like it was skipping because of Locklyn. My blood boiled and I loved the feeling of how my mind is set free and only focused on Locklyn and how wonderful she is.
Nothing can ruin this relationship. Being stuck in this cabin may even make it better than what it was before. It won't be ruined because once we get out of this place, I'm going to ask her to marry me.
I kissed her neck and she breathed in deeply and let it out slow and steady. My hands wrapped around her waist and our torsos and stomachs touched together. She reached for my belt and unbuckled it to take off my pants. She pushed me off of her so she can take off her tank top and pulled me back close to her warm, smooth body.
I moved my lips from hers and traced them down her jawline and onto her neck. I sucked and bit her neck while she dug her nails into my back. She soon scratched and her nails went deeper than before.
Locklyn let out a scream. Her eyes closed were tightly, her body spasm, and her muscles twitch. She was breathing at a faster rate than mine and can feel her chest rising and falling, making her torso seem hollow.
I felt heat come into my face and knew my skin was turning red. I moved my head and stared down at Locklyn, how her face was relaxed but excited, how her lips puckered, and how she moaned with each movement we took together.
Our minds were free and with the quietness of our room, it made us hear each other's heartbeats. They were speeding up each time we kissed and each time she sighed heavily, my heart skipped. My blood raced through my body going from my face, to my arms, to my legs, and then to my core.
Oh, how my core ached for her to never stop, how it burned each time I moved closer to her slender body, how it exploded every couple minutes.
Locklyn yelped and gripped my sides. She squeezed and I moaned, not by what is happening, but by how she squeezed tightly. My lips crept closer to hers, moving up her shoulder and neck, to her cheek, and then they touched. I bit into her bottom lip and she moved down, so I can't bite her lip. She hates when I bite, but I can't help it.
We kept kissing and breathing wasn't existent at the moment. The stillness of the room and woods outside made this time, one of the best moments in my life, and will always be because the love of my life is right underneath me.
After about two hours, we were still laying in bed and staring at each other. I took my hand and trace the back of it on her cheek. She smiled widely and kissed the tip of my nose.
"I love you, Locklyn Giovanna Monsey," I whispered to her.
"I love you, Cason Finnegan Koehn," she whispered back to me.
"You know what today is, right?" she nodded. "Well, I had this picnic planned but if you are too tired we can stay in bed."
"I am tired. I just want to stay in bed with you." She looked like she was going to cry. "Cason, I'm scared."
"Of what? I'm here to protect you." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to my chest. She rested her head on my shoulder.
"I'm scared about us." I looked down at her. "Being stuck in this cabin, we've done a lot to make this relationship amazing, but, what if we were to break up or one of us dies or falls for another person in the house. I love you too much to break up. I want to spend forever with you."
"And you will spend forever with me. I promise you when we leave, we will get married, have a family, be happy together, and we will live this life of adventure and peace and love. Look at all we have been through in the past two years. We lost our best friend, you went down hill, and I had family problems at home. This is a new start and yeah, I get angry with you, but that's what boyfriends do when they see their girlfriends ruining themselves. I hate how you drink and walk around with no clothes on. It kills me because I should be the only person looking at you with no clothes on, not everyone in the house." She let tears fall down her face and hit the pillow beneath her head. "Lock, don't cry." I rolled over on top of her with my hands next to her head holding me up and looked down at her face. She cried harder and I wiped the tears from her face. "You have nothing to be worried about. What I want from you though is to be in better control of the drinking. What happened the other day was wrong and I was angry and upset. You burned yourself on the stove and have been in bed and upset since because you regret it. I don't want you to be doing that; what if you got into a car and died and I would be the one who killed himself to be with his girlfriend." I let tears fall. "I love you, Locklyn, and whatever should happen here, we will be a couple because our relationship is strong and loyal and honest, and in the end, when all of this is over and we are back home, we are going to leave and start a better life away from New York."
"I love you, Cason." She kissed me and smiled widely. "We will spend our whole lives together." I lied back down next to her. "I'm going to be doing laundry this week, so that means these sheets are getting washed." I nodded. "And we will have nice smelling and squeaky clean sheets to have more alone time together."
"No, Lock, I'm tired of sex. I don't want to have it every day, we need a break from it and to focus on the cabin and food supply and relax. I want sleep and we haven't gotten any since the first day we arrived."
"Fine. I know I've been pushing it but we are stuck here and I don't know what else to do with you. Back home we would go out to dinner, to the movies, parties, and now we are confined to this cabin and what can we do but have sex."
"Swim in the pond, watch television, there are a ton of other things we can do. How about we have a night where we watch movies with everyone else and fall asleep together."
"I would like that." I smiled widely and we soon fell asleep in each other's arms.