I had been sat in this meeting for an hour now. I was so unbelievably bored and distracted. The past week back at work was a real temper tester for me. My new boss was a complete ass, a few of my co-workers had heard about mine and Dean's short lived relationship through who else but Chloe! Yep well a few of them do know her from back in college. The final thing that had been bugging me was the fact I couldn't get my work done. I was always zoning out. I wasn't thinking of anything particular, I just couldn't concentrate. "Cassie? You have any opinions?" I shot my attention back to my boss. I remembered we had been talking about percentages with our stocks before? Or was it a business deal? I looked behind him at the chart showing a possible rise in targets if we take on a few new partners on the lower end of the market. I knew I could save myself. "Well the small business's would surely benefit from our input. Not only will they have our support and guidance but financially we will not only benefit them but ourselves. The rise in the yearly earnings after the cut backs have been made could double and in years to come triple. That could mean on a 20% return alone we could make our money back within say...five years. After that it is just extra cash that comes back to the business accounts" I bit my lip as everyone in the meeting room became silent. My boss nodded agreeing with my input. I let out a breath of relief when everyone else agreed and they continued to talk numbers. I zoned out again staring out the fifteenth floor window across the city. The sun was setting and I knew it would be home time soon. Home time. The time of day I go home to an empty house and sit alone, have dinner alone, watch a stupid movie...alone. I used to love being alone, I liked the silence and calm. This past week was different. I felt empty. I felt like something was missing. Was I missing Dean? I didn't think so. I got over the whole feeling bad pretty quickly. I didn't think so at first but now I knew a part of it was how he didn't even chase after me once I sent that text, he never replied and he seemed to not really give a rats ass. If he really didn't want me then fine. It was just a mistake. A mistake that still hurt but I pushed to the side daily.
"Ok then I shall see you all next week" Everyone moved at my boss's final word. I slowly dragged myself up from my seat. Everything recently seemed like such an effort. "Cassie? A word?" I paused as my boss called me across and waited for everyone to leave the room. He sat down and signaled for me to take a seat also. "I don't want to pry Cassie but I get the feeling your not feeling yourself this past week. Want to explain why your work load has dropped by 70%?" I looked blankly back at him. I saw it as too much of an effort to say anything. Maybe the meds I got earlier this week was making me feel like a mindless zombie? Just a few days ago I couldn't cope with the heart ache anymore. I remembered when my Mom felt this way she took anti depressants. Within weeks she felt fine and you would have never known how down she was. "Are you feeling ok? Everything ok at home? Am I working you too hard?" "Yes! I am being worked too hard" I half lied. Yeah the work load was now too much but that never stopped me from doing it before. I was becoming someone I didn't recognize once again. I was lying to my boss but for what reason you ask? "But you know David, if you was to give me a few weeks off paid then I could refresh myself and get my head back in the game" I spoke confidently placing my hand on his thigh. What the hell was I doing?! David's eyes became wide but he cleared his throat while adjusting his tie to compose himself. I removed my hand and sat back smiling at him. "You can have all the time you need. Paid. I didn't know I was working you so hard that you became irrational" I scrunched my nose at him. I thought I was making a pass to get time off. Not making myself look stupid. "Go home, rest up. I'll see you in a week" I nodded getting up leaving my boss dumb founded. I felt sick to my stomach I had just done that then shame that I got away with it too.
I rushed to grab my bag and coat. As I exited the the building in record time even with my heels and pencil skirt. I didn't walk well in heels on the best of days but today I had to escape before anyone heard of the pass I made at our boss. I could feel my face burning red the more I thought about it. Luckily it was dark so nobody could see. I started my four block walk to my car that I had started to do again from this week. I needed the fresh air, the meds I was taking made me groggy and they hadn't even kicked in yet. The walk was non eventful. Nobody paid any attention to me as I kept to the busy streets this time meaning I walked an actual six blocks to my car in the end. I turned the final corner and saw my car in view. Someone was leaning against it with a hoodie on and jeans. The hood was up so I couldn't quiet see who it was but the height and build made it clear who this man was. "I thought I told you to never park this far from work again" Dean stepped away from my car and turned to face me. His hands in his jean pockets. "Or walk with someone. You never listen to me do you?" As he stepped closer his face become more visible. I stood on the spot as my eyes trailed his face to see the aftermath from Chris's beating one week on. I had to stay strong. I couldn't allow his words to hurt me if he starts. "You stopped throwing your tantrum yet?" Dean winked at me. I scowled at his suggestion. "You was the one sulking Dean. I think the exact words you used we're 'he's welcome to you'" I did my best Dean impression. I thought it was pretty good. Dean wasn't laughing. "Come back to mine and we can talk" I shook my head no. "You think I am going back there when Chloe and Seth will be there? They broke their necks to drop me in it. I'm done! Like I said this is for the best" I paced passed Dean and unlocked my car. I managed to get inside and close the door with out him stopping me but before I could lock the doors he got in the passenger seat.
"Get out Dean" I told him annoyed. "So your saying you don't miss me? You don't miss the way I make you feel when my dick is deep inside you?" I cringed at his words. "Get the fuck out!" I now yelled at him. He didn't move. "No. Like I said your mine. Also your not going anywhere but home with me. We are going to talk about this and everything will be fine..." He began to raise his voice "AND YOU WILL FUCKING STOP BEING SO STUBBORN AND JUST LET US BE HAPPY TOGETHER!" I sarcastically began to laugh. Dean's face turned cold and angry. "You think we can ever be happy together? Your not only jealous but you think I am an object that can be claimed. You got pissed over something that happened before I even met you. You fucking get angry over the smallest things! Not only that Dean but you think your entitled. You think you can boss me around and pressure me into a relationship with you. Your a fucking criminal and one day you are going to get yourself killed" I began to yell almost hysterically as tears fell rapidly. I clung onto my steering wheel as I yelled staring forward. I couldn't look at him. It hurt too much. "Do you really think i wanna be around to see that?! I would rather not know you then bare witness to that!" my breathing became heavy, I couldn't control all the hurt pouring out of me. I held it in all week and what I denied I was feeling was finally pouring out. I leaned down to the floor for my handbag. I rummaged through it for a tissue but as I struggled to find one my bottle of pills fell out and landed in Dean's lap. He stayed silent the whole time I had a hissy fit at him. Not once did he interrupt me and now his silence was unbearable. He picked up the bottle and turned it round so the label was in his sight. I clenched my eyes shut begging, praying god they we're my pain killers that had fallen out. "Your on anti depressants? How long have you been taking these?" I didn't say a word. I kept my eyes closed and pointed my face down so i would have been looking down at my lap. "Cassie?! How long have you been taking these?" I opened my eyes and kept my face down. "I don't know what your talking about" I tried. I always had been a bad liar when it came to people close to me. "They have your name on them. And prozac is a big thing. These pills can make you worse! Are you on these because of me? Have I caused this?" I shook my head no. "I just needed something to help stop the pain" I sobbed out honestly.
I never really got the exact reason why I was taking them but a part of the pain was being alone. Ironic huh? All these years of distancing myself from anyone who got close, friend's, would be lovers, family...it had finally caught up with me. I had made myself a depressed mess. We both stayed silent for a few moments longer when I started my car. The engine hummed as I stared out into the road as we we're still parked. "So when you say your's do you mean Seth's or Roman's?" I asked thinking he lived between their places. "Neither. I'll direct you" I nodded as I pulled out into the road fully. We both stayed silent accept for Dean telling me when to turn directing me to the opposite side of town to where I had always lived. We pulled onto a street perfect for family life. When Dean told me to pull over I looked around a bit confused. I never expected Dean to live on a nice street like this. Every house perfectly set with perfect tidy garden's. The house we had parked up outside of was no exception. It was just as lovely as the others. Dean got out the car and I copied his motion. Without saying a word he took my hand and led me up the paved path. I waited as he found his keys out and unlocked the door. A smell of spring hit me full force. It didn't smell like a manly place at all but like how a well looked after home would when a house wife would spend all day cleaning. It reminded me of home, it reminded me of my mom who I cut off years ago. "Put your shoes there, I'll take your coat" Dean pointed to a shoe rack filled with all his boots and skate shoes. I did as he said and slipped my heels off placing them on the only empty space. I never knew Dean was so house proud. Just the entrance hall alone was well set and decorated. It felt warm and inviting. It was definitely his home with all the pictures of himself and who I suspect to be family on the walls. Once he took my coat and hung it up he led me into a front room. I sat down on one of the two sofa's and continued to look around taking in the settings.
Dean had his back to me as poured us both a drink each from what looked like to be a liquor cabinet. He sat back down beside me and I gladly took my drink off of him. The whiskey was exactly what I needed right now. I looked across at Dean to see he still had my pill bottle in his hand. He was staring at it thinking deeply. "I don't want you taking these" I kept my eyes on him as he shook his head then placed the bottle down in front of us on the coffee table. "Those types of pills can really mess you up, trust me, I had been on them for years at one point"he shuffled in his seat and looked across at me. His bruised face made him look like he had been stamped on in the face a few times. I cringed at the thought of exactly what Chris had done to him. Dean's eyes held a lot of hurt and grief, was he grieving us? He didn't show any signs of caring about me this whole week. "I've been thinking, I know we are all over the place right now but what I said last week was completely out of order. I don't think Chris should have you. I want you, by my side, happy. We've not really known each other long enough for this but I want to show you that I can change. I have quit doing jobs with Roman and Seth" I couldn't believe what Dean was saying. Was he being honest? Did he really mean it? "You don't have to look so shocked Cass. I am doing it for you...for us. I...well what I am trying to say is...I..." He couldn't get his words out. I waited for him to continue oblivious to what was coming next. His eyes met mine fully. Dean had never looked at me like that before "I love you".
"What?" I gasped. He was being serious. I could tell by his tone of voice, the way he was looking at me. He was being serious. Nobody had ever said those words to me and meant it before. If any other man ever said it I never believed them but this time was different. But it was too soon. I was falling hard for Dean but was it love on my side yet? I wasn't sure. "It's ok if you don't feel the same way yet. I'll understand if that's the case but I can't keep doing this. I loved you since before I even spoke to you for the first time that night. It's gotten stronger since we met and I can't stop it. I've tried to stop my feelings but I can't. I love you Cassie" Dean poured his heart out to me. I never thought I would ever hear Dean say anything remotely close to what he was saying now. I would expect something vulgar sure, even during our talk tonight back in the car he did let one vulgar comment slip. Right now though, in this moment...he was being more serious than I had ever witness Dean Ambrose be the whole time I had known him. "I don't know what to say" I whispered. Dean smiled softly at me about to accept my confusion when we we're interrupted. "Honey is that you?" I froze hearing a women's voice, an older women's voice. Dean looked behind me as he replied to the women. "Yeah Mom it's me" Mom? I wanted to let out a small giggle but bit it back. Big Bad Dean lived with his Mom still. "Oh who is this young lady?" I turned to see a lady who looked to be around 50 years old smiling at us both. "This is Cassie Mom, Cassie, this is my Mom Linda" I smiled as she took my hand a gave it a small shake. Her skin was so soft and her grasp tender. I could tell she was a lovely person. "Oh Cassie, the Cassie?" Dean turned bright red as his Mom revealed he had told her all about me. "Yeah Mom" Oh this was so adorable hearing how he spoke to his Mom. So soft and caring. I was starting to see a whole new side to Dean. "You know sweety, I have been dying to meet you. Dean is besotted with you. You really are beautiful just like he described you" A small soft laugh escaped my lips as his Mom embarrassed him even more. I saw it as sweet. The pain quickly shifted in my chest and suddenly I felt warm and happy inside. Just hearing that Dean cared enough to tell the most important women in the world to him about me, that surely has to mean something right?
"I'll leave you two love birds to it, Dean don't forget about that..." "Ok Mom" He smiled cutting her off and placing a finger over his lips signaling to stay silent. Once she said goodnight giving Dean a kiss to the cheek and he returning it I could help but smile at Him. We stayed silent as we heard her footsteps reach the top of the stairs. "Your so adorable with your Mom" I grinned in his direction. His blush staying red as a tomato on his face. "You don't repeat tonight to anyone. Nobody has ever met my family before and I would like people to think I've not got a soft side" I couldn't help but laugh mentally at his vulnerability. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It's changed my opinion on you a lot" "Really? How so?" I shuffled in my seat to move closer to Dean. Our faces now inches apart I couldn't help but wish he would treat me in such a sweet way. I knew now he was capable of caring, was there room in his life for him to be like that with me? I really hoped so but at the same time I kind of knew we weren't right for each other. We we're polar opposites and it was a recipe for failure before we even started. "I always thought you was incapable of being nice. Your always acting tough and like you couldn't give a crap but now I can see you do have a heart and...I've missed you Dean, so much" I cut myself short to tell him what I was really feeling. I wanted to stay strong but seeing him paying attention to every word I said and actually act like a human being for once I couldn't help but drop those walls and open the flood gates to my feelings. Dean didn't say anything. He watched me for a moment then stood to his feet and opened a drawer at the other side of the room. I felt my heart race with nerves as I started to think he was shooting me down. I actually started to think that was why he brought me back here, to end it properly. That sinking feeling was starting to take over when he turned round looking at me with something in his hand. I gulped staring at it. What the hell was I going to say to this?