Alice’s POV
“Do I look okay?” I breathed.
Zoey nodded and then Jason nodded. “Yes, Ali,” Zoey laughed. “you totally look hot.”
“I mean, I don’t look too slutty, right? I want to look hot, but not slutty. And it has to come off easy because we’ll be in the back of a Hummer, so there’s not much space. But these shoes, they’re more your style, he won’t like, think that I’m you or anything, will he? I guess covering up with the jacket will make it look better, so I guess, so yeah, that’s-“
“Alice!” Zoey shrieked to get me to stop rambling. “You look amazing, and even if you went in yucky sweats or something, he’d still do you in the back seat.”
“You really think that?” I breathed. “Lance only comes home once, though. This has to be absolutely perfect.”
“It will be. You need to pick Lance up in an hour and then you guys have two hours to spend together before you bring him back here for the party, which you don’t need to worry about because me, Jason, and Danny have it all planned out and it’ll be perfect. Everything will be perfect, I promise.”
I nodded. “You’re right. Everything is going to be perfect.”
“That’s the spirit.” Zoey beamed at me. “Now, go and get your happy ending.”
I nodded at her and then looked at Jason. “I’ll see you when we get back?”
He nodded back at me and then pulled me into a tight hug. I think that he silently worried that we wouldn’t be as close as we are now, with Lance coming back. Not because Lance wouldn’t let him come around out of jealousy- he wouldn’t do that-, but because I’ll want to be around Lance so much. I mean, that’ll be true for maybe a week, but I’m never going to not be friends with Jason until he doesn’t want to be friends. He’s such an amazing friend.
“O-okay.” I nervously stuttered. “I guess I’m going now then.”
“You still have a little bit of time before you have you leave.” Zoey informed me.
I nodded. “Yeah, I know, but they could get there early or something.” I defended meekly. “Gosh, can you believe it? This day has finally come and everything is just going to be so perfect, for both of us.”
“I know,” she giggled softly.
“Right, well I’ll see you in a few hours then.” I muttered, grabbing the keys to the Hummer, since I was actually going to be driving to the park and I was going to take Lance’s beloved Hummer, because he just loves that car so much that I’m sure he’s missed it dearly. I said one last goodbye to both Jason and Zoey and then leave my room to go downstairs where the Hummer was parked out front.
I saw Patrick in the hallway, so I waved a hello to him and then continued walking down the stairs.
Once I got in the Hummer, I just sat in the driver seat for about five minutes as I just listened to my own raspy breaths and tried to acknowledge what I was about to drive into. I was seriously going to see Lance again after so many agonizing months apart and it was just going to be so amazing. So amazing that it just wouldn’t sink in for me about what was really happening, I just couldn’t really believe that I was about to see Lance again.
When I found the courage to do so, I started the large car and began the twenty minute drive to the park where, a long time ago, I said goodbye to Lance, because that’s where he told me that I should pick him up, although I haven’t talked to him in a while, he’s talked to Zoey and she gave me the message.
I was shaking the whole way there and when I parked in the parking lot, it was unsurprisingly empty. I was still half an hour early, although I’m sure there will be other people here soon, because Lance is coming here with a bunch of other troops that are coming home, so their families should probably be here too.
I sat in the front seat of the Hummer only for a minute before I got restless so I jumped out of the front and then into the back where I began to perfect the scenery. There was a red sheet draped over the back seat and the huge Valentine’s Day teddy bear was sitting in the far left hand seat with a bouquet of flowers in his brown furry lap. There were those little teacup candles, but they were fake and battery operated because I didn’t want to burn down the Hummer, and they were perched on the back of the seats, flickering with fake fire.
When I realized that there was nothing else I could do to make the backseat look any better, I looked down at my outfit and began perfecting my clothes. I was wearing a tight body con dress that showed a little bit of skin on my midsection, right above my belly button. The bust area was a camo pattern of different shades of green and the bottom was just black and came to about mid-thigh on me. I was also wearing a dark green army jacket and black studded booties that I stole from Zoey’s shoe collection. My heart locket that Lance gave me when he left was still tightly hanging around my neck for good luck and I clung to it for a moment before leaning against the Hummer and forcing myself to breathe. After checking the time, I saw that I still had ten minutes before he said that they’d be there, but Zoey told me that Lance also said that their timing might be a little off, so he could come later or earlier than that.
I continued to lean against the Hummer and I nervously began texting Zoey for a little while before a pair of headlights beamed through the parking lot. I subtly watched the car pull into a parking space a little down the lot from where I was and I assumed it was just another person waiting for them to get here. This happened five more times with different cars but nobody was getting out, which was beyond creepy, but I just stood at the hood and tried to control my shaky hands as I waited and waited for the next car to really be the one.
I was looking down at my phone when another set of headlights erupted in the parking lot, only this one didn’t park and I suspected that it was the right car, well it was a van, so the right van, I guess. I thought I was going to pass out right there, I was so anxious. I stood straight off of the Hummer and eagerly watched the car come to a stop. I think everybody knew that this large van was it, because people started getting out of their own vehicles.
I let a large, excited grin erupt on my face as the two back doors opened and two guys filed out from the side facing me. They were obviously troops, because they were wearing those camo uniforms, even topped off with the camo hat and the cargo boots. I watched as both of them ran to their separate parties, being engulfed by hugs and cries from parents and siblings and maybe some girlfriends too.
After those two came out, I watched anxiously from the Hummer for Lance to appear. When four other guys had escaped the large van to join their welcoming parties, my lungs stopped producing oxygen when I saw that familiar brown buzz cut peep out of the dark doorway of the van. He looked just the same as he did those six months ago when I was waving him a goodbye. He looked amazing and perfect. I watched him speechlessly as he stood out of the van and looked around, searching for me.
I grinned at him as he just stood there when he saw me. He froze for a short moment before he began walking towards me. I was kind of expecting him to run up to me, you know, like in the movies and the couples reunite. I couldn’t run, due to the heels I was in, but I started to walk briskly. I thought he’d lift me off of my feet in a huge embrace and spin me in circles while I giggled, but instead he was just walking. And that’s how I knew that something was wrong. My stomach hit the blacktop that I was standing on in just mere seconds.
He was getting closer and closer but I think that the closer he got, the slower he walked, and I was about to hyperventilate with what was about to happen, because it couldn’t be anything good with the way he was walking towards me.
Even though I knew something was wrong, I grinned at him like everything was perfect, because until he breaks whatever news he has, we are perfect and everything is just so perfect because Lance is home. “You made it.” I beamed when he approached.
He wasn’t even smiling, but frowning as he stood in front of me. He didn’t miss me, I don’t think. If he did, he would have been smiling and throwing me into the air with glee, wouldn’t he? Why wasn’t he smiling? I looked behind him just in time to see another figure get out of the van and I could see that it’s obviously a girl, but she wasn’t wearing a uniform or anything, so I knew that she wasn’t in the Army. I could also tell that when she started walking towards us, that she was part of Lance’s problem.
“Why does something tell me that you’re not here to kiss me a hello?” I asked with an almost-sarcastic laugh as I eyed the girl with a frown. I immediately hated her. She stayed away, but she was looking in our direction. She was too far away for me to see what she looked like, but I just hated her so much.
“I missed you, Ali.” Were his first words, but he made no move to even hug me. Like he was afraid to even touch me or something. “Your outfit is adorable by the way.” He added, looking down at the camo dress I was wearing.
I bit my lip to stop from crying because I was just so scared of what was about to happen. So, excruciatingly scared. “Lance, what’s going on?” I all but whimpered as I crossed my arms and frowned up at him, fear bubbling in the bottom of my stomach.
He sighed heavily before running his hands through his hair. “We need to talk.”
“That’s fucking obvious.” I snapped angrily. “There’s a girl over there giving me the stink eye right now and you don’t look nearly as happy to see me as I am to see you so yeah, I think something needs to be explained to me.”
“Her name is Amber.” He informed me quietly.
“So, what? Is she your girlfriend or something?” I asked with a cold glare before looking over at her. “Are you his girlfriend?” I called to her loudly, but she didn’t respond or anything.
He didn’t say anything, he just awkwardly looked down at his shoes. Oh, god no. Please don’t let that be true.
“Lance!” I screeched, my voice betraying the cold front I was hoping to put up. It cracked as I demanded an answer that I probably didn’t want to hear.
“Is everything okay?” The girl chirped, walking up to us with a smile on her face. She was so pretty, with long blonde hair, like mine, and green eyes with an angelic smile. But after a quick once over, I turned back to stare at Lance, waiting for him to answer either one of the questions. Was Amber his girlfriend or a fling or something like that? Probably, but I wanted him to say it, to confirm it because at that moment, it seemed impossible that he could have forgotten about me when we had promised. Was everything okay? No, not for me, but I’m sure Lance was doing just fine.
“Amber, this is Alice.” Lance spoke softly, continuing to look down at his shoes instead of facing me. “Alice, this is Amber.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Amber chirped with a small smile, but she made no effort to shake my hand, which was a good thing because I probably would have broken the manicured thing if she tried.
“Lance, tell me.” I snapped, still glaring at Lance.
“Alice, I’m sorry.” He croaked finally.
“I’ll go back over there and give you guys some privacy.” Amber muttered softly, retreating back to the van.
“We met in Afghanistan, she’s a journalist.” Lance mumbled, still not looking up at me.
“So she is? She’s your girlfriend? That’s funny because I could have sworn that position was filled.” I bit out sarcastically, squeezing my arms close to me so that I could hold my composure just a little bit, at least.
“Alice, I love you.” He insisted. “She’s not technically anything.”
“Technically?” I squeaked.
Please don’t do this, Lance. I pleaded inside of my head. Please don’t do this to me. But I don’t think he heard me at all, because he just shrugged, “I mean, technically, we’re together.”
“Really?” I snorted. “And how long ago did you break up with me? Because I must have missed the memo.”
“Ali,-“
I closed my eyes to regain my composure and then opened them up to interrupted him. “Don’t say anything, okay? Just… God, just shut up.”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen, Alice. I really care about you.” He pleaded.
“I think we both know that’s bullshit.” I snapped. “You just don’t do this to people you care about, but whatever. I don’t know what I expected out of this anyway, it’s just ridiculous to trust people and it was my fault for breaking that rule for you. I’m sorry that my expectations were too high, I guess.”
“You deserve somebody good, Alice.” Lance said with affirmation. “Don’t settle for any less, okay? I really do care about you, no matter what you think.”
“No, Lance, you’re wrong. I deserve shit. I must be a really shitty human being to deserve all the crap that’s been thrown my way because I just can’t catch a damn break. You were supposed to be my safety and now your just making it so much worse.”
“Alice, I’m so sorry.” He pleaded once more. “Just, please-“
“I said shut up.” I growled, interrupting his stupidity.
“Lance, are you sure everything’s okay?” Amber returned by his side.
“Yeah, we just need a little bit more time.” He told her.
“Did he tell you that he loves you?” I asked her with a scowl. “Because you’d be really moronic to believe it from this guy. It’s like a script inside is fucking head.” I all but screeched.
She gave me a dirty look before retreating again.
“Look, I’m going to leave now. Do you need a ride?” I asked Lance with a frown.
He nodded but remained silent.
“Then get in the damn car but I’m not taking her. And if you say one goddam word on our way to the house, I’ll throw you out, and I’m not talking metaphorically throwing you out, I will literally grab you by your dick and drag you out of the car if you make a single sound, Lance Chase.”
“Okay, you’re mad, I get it, but just-“
“I’m leaving in three minutes.” I interrupted him as I threw the army jacket off of my arms and left it in a puddle at my feet before getting in the driver seat. I would have ripped off the damn camo dress too if I could have without looking indecent, but I didn’t do that.
Once I got in the car, I watched as Lance ran his fingers through his hair out on the blacktop once again before walking over to that Amber girl and saying something to her. She nodded and then kissed him on the cheek before he was walking away from her again and returning to the car. I was so tempted to just drive away without him, but I’m a good person, so I let him get fully in the passenger seat before driving off.
“You did this for me?” Lance asked, eyeing the backseat and then the teddy bear with the flowers.
“Does it matter?” I bit back. “And I told you not to talk.”
“I know that-“
“Shut up!” I screamed at him loudly, pushing on the accelerator just a little bit more than necessary.
“Slow down, Ali.” He murmured softly.
I bit my tongue to prevent myself from exploding on him and sped just a little bit more to get to a bridge that we had to cross to get home. It was a tall bridge and barely anybody ever used it on the weekends, so when we drove over it, it was practically empty, and it towered over some dirty river. When we got to the middle of the bridge, I pulled over to the side of the road and put the Hummer in park.
“What are you doing?” He asked me when I took the keys out of the ignition and hopped out of the car.
“Get out.” I barked at him as I opened the backseat door and ripped the teddy bear out of the large vehicle by his small semi-circle ear. I dragged it over to the edge of the bridge, where there was a four foot concrete barricade to keep things on the bridge, and just looked over at the water for a moment before angrily tossing the bear over the side. I watched the bear as it fell to its doom and then made a small splash when it reached the water. The current washed it away in mere seconds.
As I watched the bear flow down the river, I wanted myself to feel angry at what Lance had done, I wanted to feel so angry and vengeful. However, I just couldn’t. I felt empty and betrayed and stupid and pathetic and humiliated, and I really hated feeling like that.
“Why are you doing that?” Lance asked, getting out of the car and standing beside me at the barricade. “You hate littering.”
“It was an ugly bear and obviously unwanted.” I muttered, returning to the backseat of the Hummer.
“I wanted it.” He protested.
I shrugged and pulled out the large newly bought silky red sheet and crumpled it into a ball, carrying it over to the edge of the bridge. “What you want isn’t really any of my concern.” I tossed the fabric over the edge and watched as it flailed into the flowing water underneath of us.
“If you’d let me explain, I don’t think you’d be so mad.” He justified as I walked away and made my last trip to the backseat, grabbing the fake candles and the large, gorgeous bouquet of flowers.
“Mad?” I echoed, stopping at the barricade and looking back over the water. I didn’t throw the flowers, I just gripped the stems so hard that if there were thorns, I would have drawn blood. “No, I’m not mad. Sure, I’d like to be, but I’m not. I’m just Alice again. I mean, for that six month period, I wasn’t really myself. I was happier, more optimistic and stupid and I believed in a lot of shit. Like you- I believed in you. But now, I’m back. I realize how fucking moronic I really was to think that things could change.”
“No, that’s not-“ Lance tried to argue with me, but I wasn’t having any of it.
“I really don’t give a shit about what you have to say. Have fun walking home.” I chucked the flowers over the bridge but didn’t stay long enough to watch them hit the water because I was storming back to the driver seat.
“What?” Lance asked in confusion.
“I told you that if you talked, you’d get kicked out and you talked so you better get walking. I’d start now, you don’t want to miss your party.” I hopped in behind the wheel and slammed the door shut and before Lance could protest again, I pushed the key into the ignition and sped away from him on the bridge.