Chapter Forty Eight
2 weeks later
The sun was beating down on everyone, their black clothes only making them feel hotter. Many people had tears in their eyes as they watched the casket being lowered into the ground. One by one what was left of his family walked to the grave and threw in a single white rose.
First was Elena’s Aunt Jenna even though it was only her brother in law tears were streaming out of her eyes like they were fountains. Once she began to back away John stood forward, he was miraculously dry eyed considering it was his brother’s funeral. After him came Jeremy, as he walked to the side of the grave his face was dry but when he turned away Elena could see the tears running from his eyes.
Now it was her turn, she had been dreading this day, dreading this moment for a long time. As she put one foot that was clad in a black flat forward she remembered everything that happened two weeks ago in her living room.
“I guess it was a good thing we didn’t shove you in the trunk.” Damon said. Although he sounded like his usual snide self there was surprise in his eyes that he couldn’t quite hide. He was staring at Alaric like he was a ghost which was perfectly natural considering he had been lying on the ground dead a few minutes ago.
But Alaric either didn’t hear Damon’s words or he didn’t notice them. His eyes widened and slowly he lifted his right hand which hovered in the air shakily as he examined it.
Elena wasn’t sure she would have been able to recognize the ring on his finger if she hadn’t had the improved sight of a vampire. But seeing as she did it was only too easy for her to see the familiar silver band, the black stone and the silver emblem she had been looking at since she was a little girl.
As she got closer and closer to the grave she became more aware of the eyes on her. She wasn’t surprised. Weeks before this she had been the sad little girl who lost her mother, now the only thing that changed was she had lost both of her parents.
It was strange, she thought that at her dad’s funeral all she would be able to do was cry but tears hadn’t even began to well up in her eyes. It felt like there was a huge ball of ice in her stomach that radiated numbness throughout her entire body.
Another step, now she was able to look down in the grave. At the bottom was the glossy wooden top of the casket and the three white roses that were already thrown in. Even now looking at his casket she couldn’t bring herself to believe that Alaric had come back but not him.
“So I guess magic rings that bring the wearer back from the dead aren’t as rare as we thought.” Damon said as he to recognized the ring.
“B-but he was wearing his I saw it! How can you have the exact same ring?” Elena asked before Alaric had a chance to say anything. There was a note of hysteria in her voice and once she was finished speaking she rushed to the couch and grabbed her dad’s hand. She gasped in relief as she saw the ring was still on his finger.
“My wife Isobel gave it to me.” Alaric said in what was only a whisper.
Elena held her hand over the open grave a let the rose slip from her fingers. As it fell it felt like everything was in slow motions, instead of the seconds it should have taken it was like the rose was suspended in the air for hours.
This was her final goodbye to him. It seemed impossible to think that she would never see his smile again or never fish off the dock at the lake house with him ever again. There was no way he could just be gone, his existence completely erased. Memories of him from throughout her life flashed through her mind but this only made it worse as she knew all too well that she wouldn’t be able to make any more new ones.
After that night Damon had tried to figure out exactly who Isobel was. He had tried to get Elena to help but she hadn’t been interested in doing much. However even after all his research the only things they knew about her were the things Alaric told them.
“It’s okay, he has his ring so he will come back. He’s gonna wake up any minute now.” Elena said not moving from her spot beside the couch.
She was too busy staring at her dad waiting for some sort of a sign of life to appear that she didn’t see Alaric look at the body on the couch. But Damon did. He saw the recognition flood into Alaric’s eyes when he saw the face of the man lying there dead. He saw the guilt that followed as soon as he realized the same thing Damon had when he had first heard who killed him.
“Who was Isobel?” Damon asked. He was filled with guilt so even though he hated Damon and under normal circumstances would be trying to kill him right now he was sure that he would get some answers.
“She was my wife. We met at Duke, fell in love and married young. Her degree was in folklore and parapsychology, once she graduated she became a paranormal researcher. Everything I know about vampires and everything else supernatural I learned from her.”
For a moment Elena just stood there and looked down into the grave. Only a few metres away was her mom’s grave. By the time this day was over both of her parents would be lying buried in the ground.
Finally the tears came, in the movies a single tear would run down the actors face but reality wasn’t like the movies. Suddenly her vision was blurred and she could taste the salty tears as they ran into her mouth. Her entire body began to shake as she tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to escape her lips.
It was like the tears had unblocked something in her mind that had been holding back the grief. Because even though she knew that her dad had died that night she never really knew.
Elena was only dimly aware of Damon getting Alaric to explain who Isobel was. She knew it was important, especially since she had given him a ring that would essentially let him cheat death but she didn’t care. Alaric had died after her dad, granted only seconds after but later nonetheless. If he was breathing, talking and one hundred percent alive why was her dad still lying on the couch dead.
She turned to look at Damon as he crouched down beside her. His pale blue eyes were looking at her sadly and his mouth was slightly open, ready to speak.
“Elena, the ring, they only protect the wearer from a supernatural death. Alaric killed him, and he’s human. The ring won’t work. He’s not going to wake up Elena.”
Surprise filled his eyes when Elena smiled at him, “he can’t be dead Damon,” she said in a clear steady voice, “because if he’s dead that means that I don’t have parents. He’s going to wake up because he can’t leave me all alone like this.”
Her legs gave way but before she could hit the ground she felt two strong arms catch her. She blinked away the tears that were clouding her vision and looked up to see Damon looking down at her with concern.
“He’s really gone Damon,” she whispered knowing that no matter how quietly she spoke he would hear her, “and now I’m all alone.”
Gently Damon carried her away from the grave but even when he got back to the crowd of people of dressed in black he kept walking. Elena didn’t turn back when she heard the dirt begin to get shoveled into the hole and tried not to imagine how quickly it would fill up.
Before she knew it Damon was setting her down on the grass beside a huge tree in a part of the graveyard that was empty except for them. He sat down beside her and pulled her against him so she was lying on his chest.
“You will never be alone Elena,” he whispered stroking her hair with his hand.
“Now that’s not exactly true is it.” A voice said snidely shattering the peaceful moment.
Both Elena and Damon looked up to see Katherine standing directly in front of them wearing jeans, black heels and a hot pink halter top. Her long brown hair cascaded down her back in curls and she was smirking at them.
“Don’t look so surprised. As an expert on losing loved ones I thought I would want my advice.”
“Katherine, I think you should leave.” Damon said.
Katherine threw her head back and laughed. Her peals of laughter were light and musical but the look on her face was mocking, “of course you think that Damon,” she said in her usual derisive tone, “you want to keep her as your precious human Elena. You want to protect her from everything, including what it means to be a vampire even though she is one.”
At some point in the time it took Katherine to say these words the despair in Elena was replaced with rage. It was burning white hot and completely consumed her, she could think of nothing else.
“I am sick of you being here Katherine. I’m not the weak human girl you can push around anymore. You are the cruelest person I have ever met, you took advantage of both Damon and Stefan, made them love you, turned them into vampires so they could love you for eternity and just left. And now that they have finally moved on you have to come back and reopen the wounds just so you can rub salt in them.” Elena used her words like weapons and smiled smugly when the smirk was wiped from Katherine’s face which turned an even paler shade of white.
However that affect was only temporary and it wasn’t long before Katherine had recovered. Instead of a smirk there was a cruel smile on her face and the glimmer in her eyes was menacing.
“Sweet Elena, always protecting everyone she loves. How long are you going to be able to stay the kind, lovely, compassionate girl Damon fell in love with. How long will it be before you flick the switch and turn it all off? Do you think he will still love you even after you turn into a monster? What about your brother? I bet Jeremy will hate you, maybe even try to stake you himself. Because after all if you weren’t with Damon or a vampire Alaric wouldn’t have turned up and your dear dad would still be alive. If you didn’t exist that ritual would never have happened, now every person Klaus kills is because you were willing to sacrifice the well being of all mankind for your friends.
You’re sad because your dad died and sure Damon can sit there and tell you that everything will be okay. He can hold your hand and promise you time and time again that you won’t ever be alone, and you will believe him. But what happens when the years go by and your brother and friends start to get old while you stay you? Sure you’ll always have Damon but how long will it be before he gets tired of you just like he got tired of me?”
Now it was Elena’s turn to pale and shrink away. She should have known better than to try and get into a battle of words with Katherine. Katherine had spent most of her centuries of life perfecting the art of manipulation and was able to brandish her words like a whip.
When Elena looked back to where Katherine was standing the other girl was no longer there. Suddenly the sky seemed too blue, too happy. In books and movies it was always raining at times like this, because rain was sad. But the sky was clear and the sun was beating down on them. There were birds singing in the trees and suddenly everything including the flowers that dotted the grass seemed to be mocking her.
“You can’t listen to anything she says Elena,” Damon said in a weak voice.
Elena looked up at him and saw sympathy in his pale blue eyes. That was the last straw, if he was feeling bad for her that must mean that everything was true. The absolute worse part of everything Katherine had said was that they were all things that Elena had thought herself.
They were thoughts that had flitted across the back of her mind since the night her dad died. At the time it had only been too easy to push them away and ignore them but now it was impossible.
“Why can’t I? Every single word she said was true. It’s my fault that Sadie’s mom is dead. If I hadn’t agreed to go through with the ritual she would still be alive.” Elena said.
Damon shook his head, “that wasn’t your fault Elena. Both her and Sadie volunteered their help just like you did and even if you had tried to stop it there was nothing you could have done.”
Just like when the anger had made it so the sadness could disappear the anger was replaced by a cold feeling of emptiness. Now even though the hot sun was glaring down on her she felt chilled to the bone.
He was right there was nothing she could have done, and there was nothing she could do. She was a vampire now, she had become a creature who was a hunter. It was in her basic instincts to kill now. No matter how hard she clung to her human life all things had to come to an end and eventually all traces of the human Elena would disappear with time. And then what would she be left with? Would she end up turning into Damon? Drinking from people until they died, never caring because they were only human?
Even thinking about it made her feel so empty, all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball in a dark corner somewhere. If she hadn’t drunk his blood that night she wouldn’t be feeling any of this. If she had just let herself die she would never have to become a monster.
A single memory like a light bulb lit up in the darkness that had seeped into her mind.
She had been sitting with Damon while he told her about his past. When she had first found out he was a vampire and wanted her to know everything about him before she decided she could be with him. He told her about how he killed hundreds of people over his life without even blinking an eye.
“How did you do it?” Elena asked looking at him in wonder. The entire time he recounted his past he looked so deeply ashamed that she wanted to hold him close and never let him go.
“Do what? Rip someone’s heart out?” Damon asked his eyebrows raised, “well it’s surprisingly easy. Especially when you have the strength of a vampire.”
Elena rolled her eyes and frowned at him, “you know that’s not what I meant.” She huffed.
Damon smirked at her, and Elena sighed in frustration when he didn’t say a word.
“I meant how you were able to kill all those people, and do all those terrible things without even thinking about it. You sound guilty when you talk about it now but you must not have felt that guilt back then otherwise you wouldn’t have kept doing all those terrible things.”
“When you’re a vampire everything is heightened. All your emotions go into overdrive, including the bad ones like guilt, shame and sadness. But vampires have a way to block it all out. It’s like a switch and if we want to we can just turn our humanity off like a light. When it’s off we don’t feel anything, not even the good things like compassion, empathy and love. When our humanity is off we become monsters, but we don’t feel anything bad in our lives. We can just live without having to feel.”
At the time that had sounded terrible to her, worse than dying even. She couldn’t even imagine living without feeling. It was like being a robot, a dangerous and deadly robot. But now that she was drowning in a flood of emptiness and despair she didn’t think that anymore.
The idea of being able to just turn it off and getting rid of it all was like a life preserver suddenly appearing when she was about to sink below the surface.
Sure Damon had said she wouldn’t just lose the bad but the good as well but what good hadn’t already been sucked out of her life?
Her parents were lying dead in the ground, her brother probably hated her and would end up dying eventually anyways. Bonnie wouldn’t want anything to do with her once she discovered what a monster she had become and Caroline was already changing to be someone Elena barely recognized. The only thing she would have left was Damon but if Katherine words were correct then he would eventually get tired of her. Once he moved on she would be completely alone, left with absolutely nothing.
What good would her compassion do her then?
“Elena?” Damon asked looking at her with concern.
“Yeah Damon?” She answered her voice sounding slightly off but still familiar.
His brow furrowed and his concern was joined by confusion.
“Are you okay?” He asked hesitantly.
Elena smiled slyly, “why wouldn’t I be?”
It was at that moment when she realized why her voice sounded so familiar. She sounded exactly like Katherine.
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So just like I said I would if I was happy with the amount of attention the last chapter got and I definitely was. Only two more chapters left I hope that the growth in popularity (even if it is small) continues when I start posting the sequel.
So I'm leaving to go camping tomorrow and wont be back until friday, and I will probably have to go straight to work so I will try and update on Saturday :)