{ a/n – the roughest of all chapters :( buuuut i hope y'all still vote, comment and enjoy. thanks }
♥ ♥ ♥
But Kentucky Horse Trials was never destined to be a walk in the park, and Annabel wasn't willing to let me triumph over her for long.
Two mornings after my victory over Annabel, Callum arrived at my door at precisely 7:55am, as punctual as ever. He greeted me with the kiss on the forehead and handed me a warm to-go coffee cup with the Starbucks logo printed on the side.
"You got me a coffee?" I beamed, reaching up to place a delicate kiss on his lips. He pretended to wipe it away with mock disgust, grinning at me.
"Yeah. I got up early to get us some drinks from Starbucks. I got your favourite."
"You're the sweetest," I said, kissing him again.
He smiled against my lips. "Anything for my baby."
"Anything...?" I purred, dragging each syllable out.
He rolled his eyes as we stepped into the elevator. "Well, maybe not anything..."
I giggled, falling against him and taking a sip of my drink. The syrupy bitterness of my favourite caffeinated beverage tasted so much sweeter on my lips knowing it was a gift from Callum.
"Would you climb Mount Everest for me?" I quizzed him playfully on just how far he would be willing to go for me as the elevator descended.
He bit his lip – a hopelessly endearing gesture – as he deliberated. "Hmm. Possibly."
"Would you swim in the Great Barrier Reef for me?"
"Uh-huh. Even though I'm scared of deep water," he admitted, colour tainting his cheeks slightly.
I laughed, bumping my shoulder against his. "I can't believe you're scared of that!"
"Hey," he attempted a scowl, but adoration filled his faded denim eyes rather that anger.
"Okay...would you fly in a rocket to Neptune for me?" I raised my eyebrows, biting back a grin.
He shook his head, and we both erupted in laughter. "Sorry babe, but I wouldn't go that far for you."
The balmy breeze of the Spring morning kissed my cheeks as we arrived at Belmont. The air wasn't particularly warm, but it was the temperature of hope as the sunlight danced on the cherry blossom of the trees, the bonnet of Callum's beloved car, the stirrups of riders sauntering through the yard. I leaned across the handbrake to place a kiss on Callum's cheek and promised to catch up with him later before downing the last few mouthfuls of my coffee and leaping out the car, heading straight towards Brenna's stable.
The mare greeted me with a warm-hearted nuzzle as I entered her stall, groomed her sleek auburn coat, stretched her muscles and tacked her up. Holly was waiting for me in the outdoor arena, a gymnastics sequence assembled in the centre of the arena. She gave me a leg up and Brenna snorted as I landed in the saddle, though she didn't dart forward in fear like she would have a few months ago.
"Just a short session this time, because she's probably a bit tired after the show this weekend, even though she had a short break the last day," Holly announced in her crisp Irish accent. "But we need to work on her show jumping! Her round at that show was...tense, to say the least."
"Uh-huh," I agreed, knotting my fingers through Brenna's mane and stroking her withers.
"Warm her up!" Holly demanded. "Get her working nice and forward and relaxed."
I pressed the mare into a canter and circled her around a corner of the arena that wasn't dotted with fences. The mare settled into a nice outline and for once, her paces felt almost entirely tension-free. She flowed around the bend, the movement streaming from behind and into the contact. Her relaxed state made it so easy to go with the movement, and revealed the full extent of just how sinuous and graceful her paces really were.
"Great. Now you've achieved that, start incorporating some transitions into the work," Holly instructed. "Do quite a few – they'll get her off her front, which is what show jumping is all about, I suppose. We need to be able to get the horses going forward and back easily without resistance."
I grinned at my instructor's extensive knowledge as I asked Brenna quietly for a downwards transition to walk for a few strides before pressing her into a trot.
"It that upwards transition, I want to see more connection to her mouth. Just because she's sensitive doesn't mean you have to be shy with the contact – you just have to be understanding. Otherwise you'll have a loose horse."
I picked my hands up and sat deeper in the saddle, placing the weight in the ball of my foot and holding my legs around her so that I could feel her step and regulate her. I felt Brenna hold the contact more, contributing to a more connected and balanced trot. Once satisfied that our trot was good, I asked for a canter transition.
"Open her stride up in the canter, she should be covering more ground than that in each stride for show jumping."
"I don't want her going too fast though, in case I lose control," I frowned, questioning Holly's wisdom even though I knew my instructor was always right.
"Settle her into a nice rhythm. If she goes too fast, hold your leg on her and close your fingers. She should have enough trust in you by now to listen when you shorten and lengthen the strides, asking her to go forward and back."
I asked Brenna for a canter again, squeezing my legs around the girth to ask her to open her stride. The mare powered forward in an open, strong canter with a lovely uphill movement. As predicted, she felt a lot stronger in this faster pace, but I still had a nice, steady hold on her mouth.
"Good. Have her forward, but make sure she can still come back easily," Holly advised. I continued some more transitions until I'd achieved exactly what she'd instructed. "Nice. Now, I've set out some canter poles so that we can work on striding and distance."
The poles were laid out along the long side of the arena, and I maintained the open canter to ensure Brenna was covering a good distance between each pole and that our striding was correct, but collected her on the other side of the arena. She would shorten her strides nicely when asked without rushing onto the forehand, and we felt a lot more controlled and balanced than we ever had before.
"Excellent. Let's progress to a canter pole to a fence to a pole. It'll teach her to stay even in front and after the jump. Remember, leg doesn't just mean forward; it means collection, extension and connection. If she starts to lengthen too early, close your leg around her to regulate the speed and engage her hind-end so that she can be light in the front."
As a further test of our balance, Holly had constructed a tall oxer in the centre of the arena, with canter poles assembled three strides away from the fence on both sides. Brenna grew even stronger as I pointed her at the fence, her canter opening up even further. I tightened my core as well as my grip on the reins. Instead of fighting the pressure on her mouth like she would've usually done in the past, she collected herself slightly. But her canter was still powerful enough to propel us over the fence fluidly.
We repeated the exercise several times on both reins, varying the distance between the canter poles, until Brenna felt a lot more adjustable. She'd always been responsive, but now I felt like I had a lot more control over what she responded to, which installed a flicker of confidence within me.
I ran the mare over a gymnastic combination a couple of times to further improve our balance and steadiness. We then finished the session with a tall vertical to ensure the mare backed off and her jumping technique was as flawless as ever. Brenna pricked her ears towards the fence and carried me towards in with a much steadier, balanced canter than she had at the start of the ride before flowing over the fence.
"Good. Hopefully she'll feel a lot steadier and balanced in the arena now, so you won't have to worry as much about her rushing at fences or lengthening before you ask."
I smiled, rewarding Brenna with a long rein and stroking her sweat-stained neck. "Thanks, Holly."
"Just doing my job," Holly said with a small, modest shrug.
The physical exertion from the ride combined with the ascending warmth of the day meant that both Brenna and I were sweating by the time our session had ended. I untacked the mare and hosed her down before turning her out in the field to dry. As mischievous as ever, the first thing Brenna did when released into her paddock was roll, coating her damp coat with mud. I sighed at her antics before taking off my own gilet, scraping my mahogany waves into a messy bun at the top of my head to stop it from sticking to my neck. I scanned the barn for Callum for a few minutes, hoping to store my excess layer in his car. The search for him only made me feel even hotter, and my thinning patience only worsened when I nearly collided with an equally as flustered Annabel, who was storming through the yard with her usual sour expression on, cheeks stained red as if she too was exhausted from physical exertion. I couldn't find it in me to pity her. Her features rearranged into a smug smile when she spotted me, and I didn't bother returning it. When I finally found Callum mucking out Levi's stall, I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. I don't think I'd ever been so happy to see him in my life.
"Can I borrow your car keys for a minute? I just want to put my jacket in the car."
Callum hesitated, propping up his spade and leaning a toned forearm against its handle.
"Babe, I know you adore your car...but surely you can trust me with the keys for two minutes?" I sighed, half amused and half frustrated.
He withdrew them from his jodhpur pocket and tossed me them, "Be careful with my baby."
"Friendly reminder that I'm supposed to be your baby now. I don't appreciate coming second to an inanimate vehicle!" I laughed as I jogged off. The spring sunshine ricocheted off the shining bonnet of Callum's precious Land Rover, and I unlocked it before shoving my gilet inside. I was about to close the door and return the keys to its overprotective owner, when a flash of white caught my eye. Poking out from the dashboard was a small sheet of folded up paper, sitting atop a box of chocolates. I reached forward and plucked it up, unfolding the note and scanning the elegant cursive hand-writing printed on the paper.
Callum, thanks for your 'help' the other day. You know what I mean...it'll be our little secret! Lots of love, Annabel xx
Icy cold shock darted through my spine. The sensation was similar to falling off at a water jump on a winter's day, except this bitter surprise chilled me from the inside out; the junctions between my bones were frozen, the blood in my veins turned to ice, icicles sprouted behind my rib-cage and poked at my heart.
Callum's hesitancy when I asked for the keys to his car – I'd assumed it was due to his over-protectiveness of the vehicle, but maybe it was because he knew what I'd find inside. Annabel looking flustered, a smug smile on her features. Her pretty features. Much prettier than mine – I was plain in comparison to her delicate, polished appearance. Her flirtatious advances towards him that she didn't even make any effort to conceal.
Callum could have any girl he wanted and he knew it. Just because he had me didn't mean those other girls didn't want him anymore, or that he didn't want them. I'd been a fool to fall for the lies he'd painted on his lips and let myself get washed away with the tides in his faded azure eyes. But now I was left ship-wrecked and lost at sea whilst he floated above the water, attracting shoals of fish with every stroke. He was attractive, not just in looks but in the good fortune and the girls that swam towards him like opposite poles of a magnet. He didn't know rejection, not just because no one turned him down but because he would never refuse a love offering. I was nothing more than another hair on the back of his neck, another name in the lining of his heart, another fish awash in the ocean in his eyes.
Rage enveloped me in its icy embrace and carried me towards the barn, leaving Callum's precious car with its door wide open. I passed Lara, who offered me a wide beam that I failed to return. Lukas, who waved shyly only to be ignored. Camilla, who offered me a Spanish greeting that I didn't acknowledge. In this moment in time, I could pay no attention to anything but where the waves of rage were carrying me to and whom they were directed towards.
I threw the note at him as soon as I reached Levi's stall. It hit him on the head and concealed those empyrean eyes as he stumbled about blindly, fumbling to remove the paper article from his head and regain his vision. The shovel clattered against the freshly made bed of shavings.
"I knew you were never worth it," I spat, the words burning my throat on their way out. "I hated you then, but I hate you even more now."
Callum blinked at me, mystified. I was starting to think he should reconsider his career choice and work as an actor in Hollywood instead; he'd had me fooled when I first thought he hated me, tricked me into believing he loved me, and still managed to play dumb even now. A liar that good put Oscar winning actors to shame.
"Madi? I don't know what you're talking about," he frowned.
I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, you disgust me, Callum. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"Care to elaborate, just so I know we're on the same page...?" he ran a hand through his silky locks. I scowled. He wasn't attracting me this time.
"You. Annabel. Love letter. Chocolates. Your car. Is that simple enough for your moronic ass to comprehend, or do you need me to spell it out for you?"
"What? I have nothing to do with Annabel, you know that. I'm with you, Madison."
"And? Just because we're together – were together – doesn't mean a player like you is going to stop screwing around with other girls."
"I'm not a player," he said lowly, eyes narrowing and brow furrowing into a snarl.
"I know exactly what you're like, Callum. And I know what Annabel's like, too."
"Well, clearly you're wrong, because I'd never cheat on anyone, let alone you! I care about you, Madison. More than you know."
I kicked the door of the stable as another wave of fury submerged me in its icy grasp. "Don't fucking lie to me anymore, Callum! Even if everything you ever told me was a lie, can you at least be honest for five minutes? Have enough respect to admit the truth, at least this once."
"I am telling the truth! I care about you and I'd never cheat on you and I have nothing to do with Annabel."
"Then why is there a love letter from her in your car?!" I screamed.
The yard around us grinded to a halt. Other riders who had been milling about the yard had paused their work to watch the scene unfold before them. Even the horses seemed to stop shuffling about in their stalls.
I scowled around at my colleagues, friends, rivals. In the many years I'd been working at Belmont Equestrian Centre, I'd rarely let my private life fuse with my vocation at the yard. But now, the most intimate details of my personal existence outside the stable were spilling all over the straw-stained floor. And I hated Callum for it. I hated Annabel for it.
His eyes scanned the note before realisation dawned within them. He crumpled it with his fist and chucked it into a nearby wheelbarrow filled with horse manure and dirty beddings.
"She did ask me for my car keys earlier. She told me that you asked her to put something in there for you. Apparently, she was lying. This letter is a lie, too. The only 'help' I've given her recently is when I helped her print off a dressage test for this weekend's show. It's not exactly 'our little secret'. There's nothing going on between us, I promise you. She's just dramaticised it."
Callum stepped towards me, and reached out to cradle my cheek with one warm, large hand. Instantly, I pulled away, but in the second our skin had collided I'd felt the icy rage within me thaw slightly.
"Madison, listen to me," he said in a low voice. "It's quite obvious what is happening here. You know there's...a strong rivalry between you and Annabel. Did it ever occur to you that she's trying to frame us? Trying to split us up? I think both of us know that she's got a little thing for me. Maybe she purposely intended for you to see that note, to make you jealous so that she could slip in a take me for herself."
The ice wedged between my bones started to melt under his words. I folded my arms and stared down at the ground, unable to look Callum in the eye – unable to look into those faded denim oceanic orbs, not willing to float away in his tides just yet.
"I won't let her get between us, Madison. I won't let anyone get between us," he bit his lip, pausing. "I hope you won't either..."
"But I saw you flirting with her..." I protested meekly.
"You saw me flirting with her, or you saw her flirting me with?"
"You were hesitant to let me have the keys to your car...?" I mumbled, ignoring his question.
"You know how protective I am over my car," he said with a little chuckle.
"But she..." I fumbled for another excuse, but I knew Callum was right. The realisation settled within me like a forest fire – hot enough to melt the icy rage, but also setting me alight with another type of anger, this one dedicated purely towards the devilish Annabel. Callum was no actor and there were no lies on his lips; I had the key to his heart and Annabel was clawing desperately at the locks. But we wouldn't let her in.
"You...you don't still hate me, Madi?" Callum asked, his voice hesitant with nervousness that didn't usually seep into his confident, assured words.
"Of course not," I said, the words rushing out of my mouth like a gust of wind. Or maybe just smoke from the wildfire within me. "I'm sorry, Callum."
"I'm sorry, too," he said, leaning over the stable door to envelope me in a hug.
Outside of our embrace, the yard clattered back into motion. Maybe they never had stopped to watch; maybe my rage had just frozen time. Then I caught sight of Avery leading a small grey Thoroughbred, her expression grim, and knew that she'd just witnessed the drama. She stepped towards us tentatively.
"I can't believe she'd do that..." she said.
"I can," I spat.
"What do we do about it?" Avery asked.
"Nothing," Callum sighed. He hugged me again. "There's nothing we can do."