Chapter Twenty:
First Day of New Life:
~Ryan~
“So where is the girlfriend?” Evan asked ask he drowned his fries in ketchup.
“She doesn’t go here anymore,” I said biting into my pizza.
“What do you mean she doesn’t go here?” Seph asked angrily. He covered it up quickly with, “She went here last week. Did she move or something?”
“No.”
“Then come on, where is this chick then?” Dennis asked. Sadie was perched on his lap eating his lunch. He didn’t seem to mind.
“She got into some special dance program. It conflicts with school, so she’s going to be homeschooled from now on,” I said. Telling them Danielle’s fake story was easy.
“Oh good for her,” Sadie said.
“Why is it starting now?” Seph asked in suspicion. It was hard to be in love with the same girl. He wanted to know everything about her, and I just happened to know that everything.
“It’s supposed to train them through the summer so they don’t have to waste time in the fall,” I said lying easily.
“That’s smart,” Sadie said.
“So she’s just gone?” Evan asked.
“Yeah.”
“Why is it that you two just happen to start dating, the week before she leaves school?” Seph asked. His suspicion was growing.
“Did you know she was leaving last week?” Dennis asked.
“Yeah she told me last weekend.”
“So you asked her out when it just happened to be on the week she left?” Evan accused.
“That’s what pushed me to ask her out. I wanted to be a bigger part of her life.”
“So why didn’t you tell any of us this?” Dennis asked.
“Danielle wanted her last week to be normal. So she chose not to tell people. She only told her friends and me.”
“So when are you seeing her? If she can’t come to school because of dance, when are you going to see her?” Seph asked. He was really trying to trap me in a lie.
“She has weekends off and every second day she gets home early,” I said lying through my teeth.
“So you’re seeing her tomorrow?” Dennis confirmed.
“No, today, Wednesday, and Friday,” I said automatically because that gave me the most days out of the week.
“She said the other day that her schedule always changes,” Sadie said.
“Yeah it does. It might be different days next week. I don’t know.” Man, this lying thing was hard.
“At least it will be easy if you guys ever break up,” Seph said. “You can just say you forgot what days she was free.”
“That’s not a fair. You shouldn’t lie to people like that. Just tell them the truth,” Sadie said. For the rest of lunch they argued how to treat a girlfriend.
~Danielle~
Everything is so strange right now. I don’t think that will ever change.
Mom and Dad moved my bed and other important things down from my room into the office. The office now shares a room with the family room we never use.
They moved my room so that as my cancer gets worse, and I get weaker, I don’t have to worry about the stairs when I’m getting food or whatever. It’s actually a really smart idea, it will just take a while to get used to.
Mom also set it up with all my teachers so that I get emailed all my work. My friends are supposed to be bringing home the last of my textbooks when they come over after school today so I can start on my school work tomorrow.
It’s going to be weird. The teachers said I can email them when I need help, but I don’t want to have to wait on them before I know what I am doing. I’m determined to do everything by myself and to just learn from the textbooks and my friends. My teachers will be a last resort.
Right now I am lying on my bed staring at the glowing green numbers on my alarm clock. I am waiting for the numbers to reach 3:42 because that is the average time I am walking in the door after school. School ends at 3:10 and the bus comes at 3:30.
When the clock hit the magic numbers, I sat bolt upright anticipating the doorbell. But it never came. I flopped back down on my bed and waited.
A whole two minutes later the doorbell rang. I jumped out and was at the door in seconds because my new room is so close to it now.
“Di! Nik!” I screeched. I jumped and hugged them each in turn. I hadn’t seen them since Saturday, but that time seemed like years in my bored mind.
“Do I not get a hug?” Ryan asked offended.
“Ew! Why would I want to hug you?” I teased. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist lifting me off my feet.
“Put me down!” I said hitting his back.
“No, I kinda like you up here. You’re actually my height now.” He separated my knees so that my legs went around his waist. He put his hands under my butt, somehow managing to keep it respectful, to keep me up. I rested my head on his shoulder.
“You guys are so cute together!” Diane squealed. She was clapping like she was enjoying a show or something.
“Do you want to tell them the truth?” Ryan whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my ear.
I looked over to my friends and smiled. “Nah,” I said loud enough for them to hear.
“What? You’re whispering about us?” Nicole said.
“Is it good?” Diane wanted to know.
“Maybe,” both of us said at the same time.
Nicole rolled her eyes and Diane smiled widely.
“You guys want to go find a bag of chips? I recorded some new movies and I’ve been waiting for you guys to come over before I watched them.”
“Sure,” Nicole said. She grabbed Diane’s arm and they walked down the hall to the kitchen, dropping their bags on the floor by the table.
“Come on Ryan. You don’t need to carry me around. I’m not dead yet,” I said squirming in his arms.
“No. I like this. I can only hold you for so much longer.”
“Put me down,” I said trying to keep as much emotion out of my voice as possible. I felt the same way, but everything that happened now, would only make my death harder.
“Fine.” He walked into my new room and gently laid me down on my bed. He sat next to me, his butt at my waist. He took my hands and pinned them above my head. His grip was tight but gentle.
“Let me ditch my friends for you. I have decades left with them. I want as much time with you as possible,” he begged softly.
I studied his face which was only a couple inches above mine. I reached up and brushed the hair from his face so I could see his eyes better. Ryan had gorgeous eyes. When he laughed they seemed to be smiling, or when he was sad, like now, his eyes seemed to resemble the innocent ones of a puppy.
“Tell your friends the truth. About me. Tell them that I am dying. Tell them I have a year left. If I am going to keep you from them for a year, they deserve to know the truth.”
His mouth fell open in shock. “Are you sure? I already told them that story about you having a dance thing. They seemed to believe it.”
“Tell them Ryan. It would feel wrong if they didn’t know.”
“Okay. I will tell them in the morning.”
“But I want everyone to think we are dating still.” This didn’t shock him. We had talked about it last night.
“I agree with that. I like being able to play the over protective part, without having people suspicious of my reasons.”
“Ryan, you can’t save me from myself,” I said gravely. I hated telling him that, but he had to accept the truth.
“I know. But I would still feel better if I protected you from everything else.” I smiled sadly and stretched my neck out to kiss his cheek.
“Sorry!” Diane said suddenly. She was in the doorway. She turned and quickly left, but not before I caught the smile on her face.
“We should go and join them before they start thinking we’re doing something we’re not,” Ryan said like it pained him. He sat up straight, releasing my hands. I sat up as well. He took my hand and let me walk to the kitchen.
“Oh yeah guys, I should probably tell you the story I made up to explain why I’m not at school.” I filled them in on my dance story. The bag of chips sat between the four of us on the table.
When I had finished my story, we moved to the couches to watch the movie they had chosen. Nicole and Diane shared one couch and I curled up on the other with my head on a pillow I had placed on Ryan’s lap. His hand rested on my hip and he traced circles over it with his finger. It was very soothing.
The movie was one of those movies that’s so stupid it’s hilarious. Every time Ryan laughed I felt the rumble below me rather than the sound from his lips.
Being with my friends was fun. There was no special treatment. It was like old times. We were just four people sitting around eating chips watching movies. Nothing more, nothing less.
It was amazing how simple it was for my friends to make me forget about my new life for an hour or so at a time, but nothing else seemed to. Everything else was changing to adapt to my new life. My friends would always be the same people, and act the same way. They weren’t changing and they definitely weren’t going anywhere.
The afternoon couldn’t have been more perfect. The only thing that would have made it better was to have Anna, Jenny and Nolan present too. But I will take what I’m offered and not ask for more.
Maybe I could see them this weekend sometime. I know after school doesn’t work for them, but sometime on the weekend might work. It would be different than how I’m used to hanging out with them, but I would at least still see them. And really, that’s all that mattered.
For this next year I am holding my loved ones close to me so that I don’t die feeling I have missed out on them. I won’t get caught up in dramas, but simply enjoy the time I have left. Or at least that’s the plan. Whether or not it actually works, I don’t know. But it won’t hurt to try.
***
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