Dean (POV)
I looked at Castiel's face, all aspects of it. The confusion and hurt his eyes, the bags under them, the thin line that his lips held and the scrunched up nose which he only did when he was mad. I didn't expect anything less, i deserved his wrath.
I have no idea what i looked like to him, probably just as bad... or worse. Or maybe when he looked at my face he could see that I was happy without him, which was completely untrue but Cas always had a way of over-analysing everything, of thinking too much and blaming himself for everything.
"You need to leave." Cas tells me and my heart dropped down to my boots. I expected nothing less. Like i said, i probably deserved everything he did or said to me for what i had put him through.
"Cas-"
"Get the hell out of my family's house." He hissed, not wanting anyone to hear our conversation. "I don't want to see you today. Not on their birthday. Just leave me alone."
I didn't know what i expected from him to be honest. Maybe a part of me expected him to come running back to me like nothing had ever happened, but i had gone to far. I had tried to take his kids away from him, and i don't think he will ever forgive me for that.
Cas (POV)
Dean looked at me, hurt covering his whole face but he had no idea how much he had hurt me. I just wanted him to leave. His whole reason was stupid and ridiculous. I couldn't believe he had put me through all of that just because of the homophobia we had faced.
Sure, I hated it just as much as he did. But I could face up to those problems in a grown up manner now, not with anger like i used to be i had learned to ignore such idle threats and petty comments. I never realised how much they had upset Dean throughout his whole life.
Maybe some of the blame was to be put on my own shoulders. Maybe i should have realised how much he hated the comments that people made about us when we were holding hands or kissing to say goodbye to each other before work. I had turned a blind eye to them because all i could see were my family, all i could see were those that were important to me.
But Dean's heart was too open for that,he took every comment to heart and it hurt him when people said awful things about us. I couldn't deal with the guilt and anger running through me just then, which is why i wanted him to go.
Before i can tell him to get out again, the kids run back into the room and up to Dean, jumping on him.
"Thank you thank you thank you!" They shout at they hold their presents from him in their hands. Dean smiles tiredly down at them and pats theirs heads affectionately before looking back up at me. The twins look between me and Dean for a moment while frowning.
"Can daddy stay?" Em whispers quietly and i look down at him. They were learning. They knew something was wrong and they knew that we weren't together any more. That's why they asked such a difficult question.
"Pleaseeeee." Sammy joined in, giving me her best puppy eyed look, battering her eyelashes slightly.
"No, it's okay." Dean finally said, shaking his head and the kids looked up at him a bit upset. "I have to go. You'll see me next week alright?"
"No!" Both of the twins cried in unison. They did this alot, kicked up a big fuss when one of us had to leave. Me and Dean were used to it by now but it still hurt to see how angry and upset they got when they saw that we just couldn't get along.
"It's okay." I say and everyone goes quiet. "You can stay. They haven't opened all of their presents yet and mom needs to finish the cake..." I trail off and rub the back of my neck.
Dean nods his head slowly and stays quiet while the kids yell happily and try and drag him outside. His eyes were locked on me, i could feel them burning into my face but i couldn't look back into his eyes. I just looked down at the ground at a speck of dirt i knew mom would go nuts over and clean it up straight away.
"C'mon daddy! We want to show your our bouncy castle!"
"Bouncy castle?" Dean asked with raised eyebrows. I finally managed to look at him and he looked back at me.
"It's the same one from when we had our eighth birthday." I tell him and his shoulders drop. I couldn't read the expression on his face, he had gotten so good at hiding his true feelings from me but i could see a bit of pain there, pain from remembering when everything was so bright and nice and nothing hurt.
It annoyed me to see him in pain. Especially after all he put me through. He had no right to be in pain in front of me because he had no idea what true pain felt like until he had been in my shoes on the day that he had tried to take the kids away from me.
It was almost laughable his excuse. But in a way it was so so serious. I couldn't think of the right way to react to it so I just stared at him, and he stared right on back.
Dean (POV)
"I should-" Cas says, pointing towards the door before turning around and quickly walking out of the room and towards the back garden, leaving me alone in the kitchen. But I wasn't alone for long before Anna came into the room to finish the cake. She didn't look happy.
"Grab me some more of my icing from the table." She demanded in that scarily quiet voice she does. I quickly hand it to her and she grabs it from me before turning her back on me.
"Can I help with anything else?" I ask, mildly.
"No." She says back bluntly, not even turning around.
"Please let me help, Anna." I plead her.
"You've helped enough."
"I got you icing. That's barely helping. Let me do something else."
"Dean I don't want you here." She says quietly, turning around slowly.
"Oh. Well I can go into the garden then. Sorry to be a pain." I say, I knew how she got with her cooking and nobody should ever get in the way of her around the kitchen.
"No I didn't mean here, as in the kitchen. I meant in my house." She says and I look at her in surprise. The closest person I ever had to a mother was telling me to get the hell out of their house basically and my heart ached at the sound.
"W-what?" I sigh put in disbelief.
"Cas said it was okay for you to stay and I suppose that is his decision. But if it were up to me? I would never let you enjoy a day with my son and grandchildren after what you tried doing to him. To them! If it was up to me I would have you out of this house faster than you could say happy birthday and wipe my hands of you altogether."
"Anna-" I choke out.
"It wasn't only Cas you would have taken those kids away from if everything had worked out the way you planned, Dean. It would have been all of us. Their grandparents and their aunties and uncles. Their cousins." Anna shook her head and turned her back on Dean once again. "You're not my son, Dean. You never were. And I can honestly say that your own mother would be so disappointed in what you tried to do."
I looked at the back of her head with a distraught look before finally turning around and quietly walking out of the kitchen with my head hung in shame.
***
"You want me to help clean up?" I whisper to Cas as I watch him collect the paper plates that everyone had left. Everyone had gone home now and the twins were just sat on the grass playing with their new toys.
"What are you still doing here?" He asks softly, looking at me in confusion. "I thought you had gone after we sung happy birthday."
I shake my head and hold the black bin bag open for him as he chucks the rubbish away.
"I'm surprised your mom didn't stay to help clean up you know." I smile slightly and wince at the memory of her words. Luckily he didn't seem to notice. Cas laughs slightly and shrugs.
"Yeah, she offered but I told her to get dad home. He had a bit too much whisky." He grinned and wiped down the garden table. His phone suddenly started ringing and he looked at it and answered.
"Hey!" I heard him say. "No no, I'm glad you called. Oh, no I can't go out this weekend, I've got my kids. Yeah sure, next Wednesday. See you then." Cas smiles and and I swore I saw a slight blush before he put down the phone and carried on cleaning up.
"Who was that?" I ask, not really caring if I was being nosy. Cas just shrugged.
"New guy that just started working at the school. We are going out for a few drinks and-" he trails off.
"And?" I push him, raising as eyebrow and leaning against a chair.
"and a movie." He coughs awkwardly and avoids my gaze by wiping the table again even though it was as clean as it ever could be.
"A movie?" I ask, my heart dropping slightly and he finally stops what he's doing and looks up at me before nodding. "So is it like... A date?" I ask him.
"No no, of course not. We both just want to go and see the new superhero film."
"We always used to go and see them..."
"Yeah well me and you aren't together anymore." His words were final, I knew I had to drop the subject but I couldn't find the willpower.
"You don't go to see a movie with your colleague, you go for pints or something." I snap.
"Well I didn't exactly plan it Dean, it just happened?"
"Just happened? Seems like it was well planned out to me."
"Dean-"
"It's a date. I know it is, don't lie to me." My voice rises and Cas takes a step back and looks over at the twins who didn't even look like they were listening.
"Dean! Stop it!" He shouts and I close my mouth and straighten up as my nostrils flare. I should have shut up while I had the chance. "You don't get to tell me what to do anymore. You never did in the first place. We aren't together anymore and I don't think I will ever be able to look at you the same way after what you did to me. I love you Dean, I don't think that will ever go away, but we are ove-"
I couldn't stop myself from moving. I knew what he was saying, I could hear him loud and clear but it only made me want to do it more. It only made me want to prove to him how sorry I way.
I love towards him quickly, holding his face lightly in my hands before smashing my mouth on his, stopping him mid-sentence. I was expecting him to jump and push me away, maybe to punch me in the face. I would have seriously deserved it but he did neither. He just stood there, not moving towards or away from me. He seemed stuck in time somehow like he couldn't move at all.
I finally step back away from him and look at him, gulping slightly. He just stared back up at me, no expression on his face. He finally opens his mouth to speak but gets cut off.
"Are you two okay now then?" Both mine and Castiels head snap downwards towards the kids who had crept up on them without them knowing. Sam let out a small smile. "We can go to the movies together again!"
"Why were you two avoiding each other? You two always tell me not to avoid Sam and tell me off when I do but when you two do it we have to swap houses and act silent whenever you're together. That's what nana and grandad said anyway. It's been a really long time and if I ignored Sam for that amount of time you would ground me!" Em says crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't think that's fair at all."