Is it me? Am I the problem? Am I the one who has the issues? I don't understand. All my relationships have something wrong with them. I think I am the problem. What would happen if I just stop? If I disappear? Would anyone care? I'm sure they would notice, but would they care? I don't know what to do anymore. I give up. I just don't want to deal with this anymore. My body is tired. My mind is tired. My soul is weary. I'm worn. Estoy agotada. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I don't want to. I just can't do this anymore. I want to just rest. Can I do that? Just, go to sleep? Will anyone miss me? I don't think so. I just want rest.
-Ebony
I want to lay on the cold, black sand and let the waves of darkness take me and make me numb. I want to float away on the black sea and forget all the cares in the world. I want to let the cold take over me and let go of my sorrows and live on the dark waters, dark as my soul. I want to drift away and not come back. Will you let me?
-Ebony
I miss my Daddy. I love you Daddy. And last night was the best night of my life. Again. You make me feel like I'm a princess and you're gonna give me the world. I love being your babygirl. Every day is amazing when I talk to you. I just can't wait til we meet. I hate not being able to touch you, or kiss you, or hug you. I hate not being able to feel your arms around me. I love you Daddy.
-Ebony
When I look past my pain, past the hurt you caused me, past the scar on my heart that bears your name, I realize that all the resentment comes from me missing you. I miss what we had. And you spending time with me like nothing is wrong kills me. I wish you would scream at me, lash out, get angry. But you don't. You're so calm. I HATE it! Why can't you talk to me the same way you text? I would rather break down in front of you and pour out my feelings than just bottle them up and play act like everything is alright. You very well know everything is not alright. And the problem is: I'm not gonna tell you all this, because my ego won't let me.
-Ebony