Chapter Twenty-two
I don't know how long we stay in the kitchen just holding onto each other, trying to get some form of comfort from the other, but eventually Eli whispers, “You need to eat something, Dani.” He lets go of me and I quickly step out of his embrace feeling very embarrassed that I'd basically just jumped into his arms.
As he walks around the breakfast bar to check the cupboards, he looks at the little bottle of pills that the doctor had prescribed for me months ago. He looks at me intently and I can't take the weight of his gaze. It's like he is trying to see through me and tell me something without even speaking. I know he's disappointed that I even took them out; I can see it in his eyes. He speaks and I jump because I'm not expecting it.
“Should we throw these away?”
A tiny smile tugs at the corner of my mouth and he raises his eyebrow, questioning the smile.
“You're asking a recovering addict if you should throw away drugs? Isn't that a bit ironic?”
Despite the topic he chuckles a little. “I see your point. Ok, I'm going to throw these away.”
As he opens the trash can, I say, “Wait.”
He looks shocked and I see a hint of disappointment in his eyes.
“You should flush them. I can't promise I won't bin dive for them.”
“Eww, gross...”
“Yes, but it wouldn't be unheard of.”
“Thank you. You want to do the honors or me?”
I didn't even hesitate to say, “You. Just in case...”
He nods and then heads to the bathroom to flush the pills. I didn't know where all this honesty was coming from. Maybe not seeing Eli for a week had shown me how much I missed him and how much I need him. Whatever it was that made me want to talk to Eli, I decided that I was going to follow it and try my hardest to trust him.
As Eli made his amazing omelets, he asked, “What are we going to do about work? We need you, baby. Heck, the Cap needs you. He doesn't want to admit it, but he needs you...”
“I can't Eli. I can't tell him. I can't have sessions with that shrink...”
“He said you have to have sessions with him?!”
I tense up and scoot away from the breakfast bar. I didn't know what he was going to do with his anger. Eli sighs and whispers, “Sorry. I'm sorry Dani, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just angry with the Cap, with Paul and this whole situation. It's not right that they've made you feel this way. I mean, I understand that the Cap is worried, especially after the whole Cain thing, but it's still not right to force you into something.”
I mumble, “That's happened enough already, I suppose once more isn't really something to complain about...”
If Eli heard, he didn't comment on what I said. I presume he didn't hear because that's the kind of thing he would correct me on. “I haven't spoken to the Cap about it because I've been too angry. I didn't want to talk to him without speaking to you first. We need to come up with a plan. If we can appease him, then I think he'll back off. We just need to give him something to keep him quiet.”
I shrug and say, “It's ok, Eli. It was fun while it lasted. Maybe my time is done there.”
“No, we need you; I need you there. I'm going to figure this out, I promise you.”
I sigh and whisper, “Don't make promises you can't keep...”
“I intend to keep this promise. Just like every other promise I've made. I've never let you down before, have I?”
I shake my head, realizing he's right. He hasn't let me down once. That thought pushes me to voice an idea I had been toying with for a little while.
“Eli?”
“Yes sweetheart?”
“One question...”
He looks at me confused and I noted that I liked the way his left eyebrow quirked up when he had a question. “What question?”
“No, I mean, you get one question. One a day. And I'll try my hardest to answer it truthfully.”
He looks shocked and maybe a little proud at the same time. “Where is this coming from?”
I shrug, stare at my plate and shift the food around. “I don't know. I think it started when my poppa spoke to me the last time.”
“Are you sure about this? I mean, I'm sure it's going to make you uncomfortable.”
“I don't know. I just think it's better this way.”
“Ok, but if you don't want to answer or if it's too much for you, you must tell me. Ok?”
“Yes sir.”
“Why do you always call me sir?”
“Is that your question?”
“Is it related? I was just wondering. I didn't realize it was connected.”
“My poppa always taught me to be polite...”
He was silent for a few seconds and then it was like a light went on in his head. “They made you say it, didn't they?”
My lack of an answer was all the response he needed.
“Calling someone sir is a mark of respect. Not everyone deserves that respect, especially scum like them.”
This was the first time he'd ever shown me any emotion about the whole thing. I thought he had turned his emotions off or he had no real feelings on the matter, so his words shocked me.
“What? What's that look for?”
At first I don't answer, but then I decide to bite the bullet and see how he reacts to what I have to say.
“You've never shown any emotion about it. That's the first time you've shown me anything. I thought you were immune or something...”
“Oh no, baby. I'm definitely not immune. I was trying to be strong for you. I knew that me getting angry would scare you and I didn't want to show you just how much my heart was breaking in case you misunderstood it and thought it was directed at you. If I'm honest with you, I'd like to have them all in a room so I can just kill them all, slowly and painfully.”
This shocked me even more. Eli had never shown any love of violence before. I knew he had to like violence to some degree otherwise he would have been in the Rangers and then moved into SWAT. But this was the first time he had overtly shown this side to me.
“I'm not going to lie to you, sweetheart. I want to hurt them, bad. What they did to you deserves a slow and painful demise.”
A single tear slides down my cheek and I flinch when he moves to wipe it away.
“I didn't mean to upset you...”
I just nod, not knowing how to voice what was going on in my head. No one had ever cared enough to try to figure out what had happened to me. No one else wanted to kill these people for what they did. Granted, no one else knew what happened, but the clients knew. They saw what went on; they saw our bodies broken and bruised. Not all of them were psychopaths. Some of them just wanted or needed to pay for a woman's attention. They were the ones that could have done something; they could have said something, but none of them cared enough.
Eli seems to notice I'm filtering through my thoughts, because he lets me sit quietly for a few minutes. When I eventually wipe my tear away, he whispers, “You ok?”
“Yes sir... Sorry, I mean, yes.”
He smiles a little, “I don't mind if you call me sir because you want to, but don't do it because they made you do it. Ok?”
“Ok.”
He checks the clock and says, “It's late. You need to get some sleep, baby. Do you want me to stay here?”
I nod and he asks, “Have you slept at all this week?”
I sheepishly shake my head.
“How come? Nightmares again?”
“Yeah, really bad.”
“I'll be here to take care of you.”
“Thank you.”
As I try to fall asleep I can't help but wonder if tomorrow is a day of new beginnings.
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(Eli's POV)
I settle in the spare room, thankful that I have finally seen Dani. I can't believe how much I have missed her in the last 8 days. Yes, I'm pathetic and I counted every single day. Dani seems more comfortable with me now though. She's even given me the go ahead to ask about her past. I just have to make sure I don't get too intent on finding out that I ruin all the progress we've made.
Obviously I don't want to make Dani feel any more pain than she already does, but I also need to find out what went down. For my sanity and also so I can help her. I don't want to start making her do things that will spark too many memories or anything.
Maybe tomorrow will be the day I can talk to the Cap and convince him to drop this whole thing. If he could just back off for a little while, then I think I can get Dani to be more comfortable and less volatile at work. That thought seems to be the last before sleep drags me into it's clutches.
I hear a scream. It takes me a couple of seconds to remember where I am and what's going on. This is partly due to the fact that it's been over a week since I've heard one of Dani's nightmares and also because I was in a really deep sleep. Knowing that Dani is nearby must have let my body relax enough to sleep more soundly.
I'm already at Dani's door. The mind is an amazing thing. I had a whole thought process before I even got to the door, which is like 5 seconds away.
I knock and wait for Dani to open the door. She doesn't, so I cautiously open it myself. I whisper, “Dani, it's just me. I'm just making sure you're ok. Can I come in, baby?”
She doesn't answer; I just hear her sobbing. I slowly approach her bed and stand at the foot of it. She freezes when she sees me and I'm not sure if she knows it's me. I talk to her to reassure her and I see her body relax slightly. “Can I sit, sweetheart?”
She scoots further up the bed and I take that as a yes. I perch on the edge of the bed with my back to Dani. I don't know what to say or do, so I just hum a random song and wait for my brain to think of something useful to say.
I eventually hear Dani's sobs subside so I say, “Dani? Do you want to talk about it?”
I hear her sigh and then she asks, “Is that your question?”
“Only if you want to answer it. I know the nightmares are a tough subject for you, so if you don't want to talk about it then no, it's not my question.”
She whispers, “I can't, Eli...”
I hear unshed tears in her voice, so I say, “Shhh, it's ok. It's ok, Dani. When you're ready, then you'll talk about it. Do you want me to stay in here? Will you have another one?”
“I don't know.”
“Which question does that answer?”
“I don't know if I'll have another one.”
“Ok, so do you want me to stay in here just in case?”
She tosses it up, I can see the battle raging through her eyes. She whispers, “Ok, but you can't touch me...”
“Sure thing. I'll just nap on the chair, ok?”
She nods and wraps the covers tightly around her like a cocoon, probably in the hope that nothing can hurt hurt through them. I curl up on the lazy boy in the corner of the room and wait for sleep to take hold of me.
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(END of Eli's POV)
A/N: Ok, so mostly a filler chapter but I wanted to show some progress between Dani and Eli. Also, I think there's some cute moments in there. I will hopefully update by Monday. I hit a bit of a block. I know where I want to go but I can't seem to get through this little part. Once I've written through it then things should flow faster. Comment and vote if you think it deserves it :D