Chapter 8
The ride to the restaurant Shane was taking me to, was quite far. I think it felt longer because I didn't know where I was going, he wouldn't tell me. Of course.
"Where are we going?" I ask as we drive by once again another parking lot full of great restaurants that seem to be calling my name for their food. I'm so hungry.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight," he tries to change my mind again. Of course, once again when I ask where we're going he tells me I'm beautiful.
"You know... You've said that four times now. I'm starting to believe you're lying,"
"Alex, you look stunning I'm serious" he states. Jeez, that didn't really make it better.
Making a very unflattering noise, as I scoff. "Sure,"
I think I know what he's going to turn to now...
Grabbing his phone, he plugs it into his dash and Bruno Mars start to spill through the speakers.
"Oh! Her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they aren't shining," he sings loudly over the already loud music, looking at me every chance he gets.
"My eyes are boring," I state.
"Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying. She's so beautiful, and I'll tell her every day"
"My hair took the longest to fix" I point out. He shuts the music off, and smiles and shakes his head.
"You'll realize one day, that you are completely beautiful just the way you are," he says and I realize we're parked in my favorite restaurant.
I bit my lip and smile at him. "You pay very good attention to my answers when we ask each other questions. I can't believe you remember from the first night when you asked me where I liked to eat. I said here,"
"I wouldn't let myself forget" he chuckles getting out of the massive truck. Just as I was about to open the door it opens for me.
"Could you get a bigger truck?" I ask sarcastically, jumping down from my seat, landing right in front of him. My boots making a loud noise sounding like high heels walks on the tile.
"I think I could," he jokes. I hit his arm playfully.
"You know you actually look so beautiful tonight," he says for the millionth time tonight. For some reason under his gaze, he's making somehow feel like I am.
"Well this accessory I got standing beside me makes everything look so much better."
"Why thank you," he replies in a very posh accent.
"For two," Shane says to the hostess who grabbed two menus and led us to the small booth, where we are now seated together.
His big ocean blue eyes making it hard to tear my gaze away from his, I force myself to look down at the menu.
"What do you feel like having?" I ask looking up at him and he still happens to be starring at me.
"I don't know I haven't looked yet," he mutters looking down at the menu, a small blush creeping on to his cheeks.
"Hi, my name is Brandy I'll be your waitress for this evening. What can I get you to drink?" Brandy asks sweetly. She only looked to be about eighteen.
"I'll have a Sprite," Shane orders, looking at me waiting for my order.
"Sprite too please" I order and Shane laughs as she walks away. "Shut up I wanted it,"
We laugh and eat and before we know it we're on our way out. Still laughing of course.
"You know I actually like this truck... Makes you look manly," I tease him.
"I always look manly" he puffs out his chest like a lion would do to intimidate.
"Oh, so manly," I joke, glancing down at the dash I see its almost ten o'clock. I really don't mind other than the fact I have more soccer games tomorrow.
"Don't forget I'm taking you to your games tomorrow," he read my mind as I thought about soccer tomorrow. Last games tomorrow. Hopefully the third game we will be playing for gold.
"Fine, but you don't have too,"
"I want to"
"Okay," I said as we pull up to the front door of my apartment building. Shane quickly gets out and opens my door for me. Jumping down in front of him once again, I mutter quietly, "such a gentleman."
With that, I stand on my tippy toes and kiss his cheek quickly before walking away. Glancing behind me I see him smirking as I make my way into the building. I get my keys out and unlock the door, and wave one last time before walking in. Once I reach my apartment door, everything sinks in. I can't believe I just did that.
The whistle blew one last time signaling that we just won gold. I can't believe it! We did it! Running to my goalkeeper tackling her, we're all cheering. We do our cheers for the other team and one for us. I go and meet the other team captain at the half to congratulate her on what a good team she plays on.
I reach half and a tall brunette that I remember from center field was standing at the half.
"Your team played great," I say smiling. Although, she wasn't smiling. It was a scowl.
"Whatever, that was stupid. You think you could at least be skinny to be the captain you skank. Lose some weight you fat pig," she says grossly in as if she's disgusted with what I look like. I know I'm now pretty, and I'm not skinny, but did she have to point it out?
As I walk back to the team getting in line for handshakes I put on my best mask that I use all too often. My smile.
"Good game girls you all deserve it," except me.
I get in front and shake the captain's hand that has just won silver over us.
All the teams get in line for medals. From third to first place. The third place team was the team we played first. Their captain was sweet, nice, caring, skinny, perfect.
We got our medals and pictures. As we took pictures I saw Shane smiling, and my stomach erupted with butterflies causing me to blush. He must have noticed because he started to chuckle to himself.
We congratulate ourselves one last time before we all part and go our separate ways. I walk up to Shane and he pulls me into a giant hug.
"You did great! You won every game!" He hugs tighter and tighter with each word.
"Shane, you're squeezing too tight!" I barely got out trying to suck in more oxygen.
"Oh sorry... Just happy for you," he chuckles again.
We walk to his truck and I hop in, of course almost falling out, causing him to laugh.
As we drive away I fall into deep thought. Was I that fat. Yeah, I know I'm not skinny, but did I really gain more weight. I'm so ugly, I have to lose weight again. I open the mirror in the flap above me. Ew, I really am ugly. Like my eyebrows need to be fixed, my pores are big, my eyelashes are not long enough.
"Alex!" Shane yells as we're stopped at a light.
"What?" I ask bewildered.
"Why are you giving yourself disgusted faces with yourself in the mirror?" He asks curiously.
"Oh no reason," I say smiling, once again, my good old mask comes in handy. It looks like he barely believes me, but lets it go.
When we pull up to my apartment building, I look over at Shane and he looks genuinely curious.
"What's actually wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm okay," I smile reassuringly. He smiles. I lean over the console and kiss his cheek softly. "See you tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow," he confirms.
I wave as I reach the inside of the doors, he waves back happily.
As I open the apartment door, Shanelle is putting her shoes on.
"YOU WON GOLD!" She yells hugging me before I know what's going on.
"Yeah!" I say slipping my shoes off, "and where might you be going?"
"Over to Blake's for the night," she smiles sheepishly.
"Okay, well I'm just going to grab something to eat and have a shower and go to bed,"
"See you," she smiles closing the door.
I set my bag down in the laundry room, and walk into the kitchen. I'm not hungry, but I know I'm going to go upstairs and into my bathroom, and do something I'm going to regret. But I can't help myself.
*Shane's POV*
Her phone must have slipped out of her pocket when she sat down in the truck. I have to go give it back to her. As I turn around I think about how she was dazed off looking at herself with a look of disgust. Why? She's so beautiful.
I park and walk up to the doors, just as I was about to buzz Al to let me in, her friend Shanelle is coming through the door.
"Oh hey!" She says happily.
"Hi, umm. Alex dropped her phone in my truck and I was just going to give it to her," I said holding the phone out, seeing if she was going to take it and bring it back to her.
"Oh yeah go on in, the doors open. She was just going to grab something to eat and get a shower," Shanelle informs me. I knew I should have stopped for food. But when I asked her she was to busy looking at herself in the mirror.
"Oh alright," I said walking through the open door she was holding.
"See you later," She said as she walked away out to her car.
"They should really keep the door locked," I mutter to myself as I got in the elevator.
When I got to the door, I twisted the knob. And as Shanelle said, it's open! I walk into the kitchen, but she wasn't in there.
"Al?" I call... No response.
"Alex?" I call again... Still no response.
She might be in the shower. I'll go upstairs and see if she's in her room.
I walk up the stairs and I don't hear the shower running, so I knock on what I suppose is her bedroom.
No answer.
"Al?"
Where is she? Shanelle said she was in here. I nudge the door open, she isn't in there. I walk in completely.
Her bathroom door is slightly closed, "Al?" No response.
Where is she? Is she okay?
"Alex?" I call as I slowly open the bathroom.
The sight broke my heart to pieces.
"Al," I breath. She looks up at me her eyes are red and broken in pieces. She starts to sob and tears stream down her face. How did she get so broken so fast? I just dropped her off, I was just down the street!
She starts to shake and I walk over to her, she doesn't look at me, she only looks down.
I notice a little drop of blood. I lift her arm and see multiple deep cuts high on her thigh, it's then I realize she's only in her tank top and underwear. The little drop of blood was a tiny bit compared to how much is spread on her legs.
She looks at me with her big broken eyes and starts to sob harder. I bring her on to my lap. Her arms are shaking and then I see the blade. I grab her hand softly and take it out of her reach putting it on the floor away from us. She grabs a fist full of my t-shirt.
"Shh, Al, it's okay," I say pushing her hair out of her face.
"I'm sorry," she whispers as she sobs.
I pick her up deciding that it would probably be best if I get her out of her bathroom.
"You don't have to do th-" I cut her off.
"Shh," she doesn't try to play stubborn, the crying girl just curls up with her face in my neck. I walk into her room and set her on the bed. I walk back into the bathroom, grabbing two face cloths from a rack. Wetting them with warm water, and ringing them out, I bring the warm cloths out to her to find her crying more.
"Alex, what's going on?" I ask laying a cloth on each leg covering, all the deep cuts she's caused herself.
"It doesn't matter, it's stupid," her cries becoming quieter and quieter. Her breathing becoming evener. As I kneel down in front of her, I just slowly massage her hands. Her eyes were closed, and I hope that she is calming down. What caused this? Did I do something? God, I hope I didn't do something to cause her this pain.
Taking the cloths off her legs to see that they almost stopped bleeding. Grabbing them and putting them in the bathroom sink. Coming back out, I see that she's rested against her headboard. She looks so delicate and if anything touches her she'll break into a million pieces.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes.
"It's okay" why does she keep saying that?
"You weren't supposed to see me like this," she whispers, "no one was,"
"I came back because you left your phone in my car," I explain, as I climb on to her and sitting beside her.
"Of course I did,"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Umm," she pauses, taking a deep breath,"when I went to the captain to congratulate her, she was angry that we won... She called me names and said I need to lose weight," she takes a deep shaking breath, "I know I'm not skinny, that's why I don't deserve to be captain. I need to lose more weight, and be better at soccer."
My heart almost falls out of my chest. She's tiny already. "Come here," I say grabbing her waist and putting her on the floor. Walking over to her full mirror that's resting against the wall. The cuts on her legs look painful, "Look, I don't know what you see, but Sweet Cheeks, you are so perfect the way you are,"
"But look, my stomach I have this" she motions to the bottom of her stomach. "And look at my thighs. They are so big, I need to get them toned, just like the other captain had,"
"The other captain lost against you. You have everything better than she does, baby," I turn her around to face me. I keep my hands on her back, keeping her close. "Now anything else you need to talk about?"
She shakes her head in response. I pick her up and lay her on her bed. Standing beside her she grabs my hand. "Thank you."
"Anytime Sweet Cheeks. Are you hungry? Can I make you something? Get you something?" Walking backward slowly towards the door waiting for her response.
"Umm that's alright I can get it," she says going to stand I between her legs so she can't move. "Hey!"
"I want to get it for you" I explain with a pleading face.
"Fine, can you-"
"Can I surprise you?"
"Fine," she gives in.
"Watch some TV," I offer, passing her the remote.
"Thank you, Shane," the way she said my name made me shiver.
"Anytime Al"
*Alex POV*
He caught me. He'll never ever like me now. Guys don't like sad girls. When Shanelle left I thought I was going to be alone the rest of the night.
The fear in his eyes when he walked in the bathroom made me feel worse. He's in my kitchen making me food because he pity's me. I'm so stupid why did I do that I should have had a shower first. I have to go to his house tomorrow too. I'm never going to escape him, I work for his mom. I'll never be able to get away. I love that family.
Turning on the TV to get my mind off everything, I put Pretty Little Liars on and watch that.
About ten minutes later Shane comes in with a plate with a sandwich and carrots on it.
"I wasn't sure what to make, so I just went simple," he says handing me a plate when I sat up against the headboard.
"Thank you," I say happy he's here. I love his company.
"No problem," he smiles walking away slowly.
"Where are you going?" I ask chewing on a carrot.
"To clean up," he smiles sadly and walks into my bathroom. I can't believe he caught me. I was only caught once, and that was Shanelle a few months ago. He probably doesn't care. He won't care, he's just helping me tonight. But I don't want him to leave.
"Teens all over the world are making risky decisions, to try and follow the trends. The 'thigh gap'. Watch the eleven o'clock news to see what teens are risking and for signs showing what your child might be doing," the new reporter speaks.
"Always wanted one of those," I mutter to myself.
"Alex you don't," Shane says appearing at beside the bed. Eating the last bit of my sandwich and placing the plate on my side table.
"I don't need it. But, you know. It's just a dream," I say sarcastically.
He sighs and climbs on the bed getting beside me. The blanket shifts, showing the newly made marks I've made on my legs. The new ones that are now joining the many other old ones. Fixing the blanket to cover my legs, I look over at him and he's already looking at me.
"Sweet Cheeks, I'm going to have to tell you..." He says slowly, making me nervous more and more by every word. Maybe he never wants to see me again. What if he doesn't talk to me ever again. How could he just stop? "I'm going to need you to smile more because it's a very good look for you. It suits you,"
"God! You scared me, I thought you were going to tell me to never talk to you again," I laugh at the thought.
"No, I need to talk to you. You make the good food at home when you're around," he jokes making me laugh quietly. He makes me feel better about myself. But it doesn't change the way I think of myself, I know I'm not skinny enough. I need to be prettier, and better so I look more presentable.
We talk and he gets my mind off everything. Makes me laugh and feel better. We asked each other questions, our usual ritual. Much Music countdown and getting to know each other, this always seems to happen.
"Well it's 10:30, better get-"
"Can you stay?" I blurt before I think about what I'm saying.
"Um, are you sure?" He asks surprised.
"I just... I don't know. You don't have to I was being stupid,"
"No I'll stay, I just don't have anything to sleep in," he says awkwardly.
"Oh! Um... Well, Shanelle's boyfriend has some clothes here, he won't care, I'll go get some," I say getting up for the first time.
"Oh ok," he smiles.
I walk out of my bedroom and over to Shanelle's, grabbing a pair of pajama pants and an old band t-shirt, I make my way back. As soon as I get in I chuck them at Shane's face, but he catches them easily.
But I notice he's staring at my legs. I immediately, turn and walk into my closet grabbing a loose pair of sweats, and a loose t-shirt. Changing quickly I walk out of my closet in a very shirtless Shane. I really didn't mind the view, but he slipped the shirt over before I could protest.
"Liked that Sweet Cheeks?" He teases making my cheeks heat up turning a bright shade of red.
"Shut up," I mumble pushing him on the bed, I climb in after him. Getting under the covers, we talk more, laughing about jokes he made, or funny things he's done.
"I have to get up early tomorrow," I say pulling the covers over my shoulders a bit more.
"Yeah, good night Sweet Cheeks," he says kissing my forehead making me blush once again.
"Good night Shane," I say one last time before shifting slightly closer to him and turning over causing myself to get closer. Soon enough his arms were around me and I felt safe as if no one could touch me or hurt me. Not even the demons living inside me.
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This is not edited, sorry. So this is one of the first conflicts...
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