7
1492 Rome, Italy
Lucrezia's wedding was tomorrow and she has locked herself in her room. But the Lord Sforza goes out every night with Juan and they drink. They come home drunk just about every night. One night they came back sing a song the woke the whole Vatican. I was ready to yell at them to hush but they were drunk and I never want to get involved with a drunk man. This night was no different either, they came home singing, dancing and with wine bottles in their hand. Cesare and I were walking through the Vatican when they came back in. Just as before we tried to avoid Juan. Upon hearing his voice echo through the hall I latched onto Cesare's arm wanting him to take me away from here. He knew without even me having to say a word that I would rather run and hide than to talk to Juan. Everything that comes out of his mouth is more disgusting than the last. Still somehow he was able to catch up to us. We thought we had lost him, it seems we are not as good at avoiding him as we used to be.
"Off to bed are we?" Juan caught up to us, standing by my side he sandwiched me in between Cesare. I watched as he brought a glass of wine up to his lip. He hadn't been home for long but was already able to get his hands on a glass. The lord Sforza stumbled behind us. He wobbled into the grass courtyard and passed out there. I had only seen him like this, drunk. No wonder he had gotten on so well with Juan.
We don't answer Juan in the hopes he will just go away. "Would you lift your skirt for me Lena?" It clearly did not work. Cesare pushes him back with his arm, it didn't take a genius to figure out that I am uncomfortable.
"You are drunk brother, go back to your room." Cesare puts himself in between Juan and I, letting me walk ahead of them.
"Cesare you should share your whore." Juan shouts so the entire Vatican could hear. Cesare turns back to him and violently grabs his collar. Juan was laughing, actually laughing and that made my stomach turn.
"Leave brother, now. Before you do something you might regret." he pushed Juan back and he chuckles. It is a kind of evil chuckle that I don't much care for. Juan goes over and peels the Lord Sfroza from the ground. I don't even want to think of what they get up to outside of this place. They are both pigs.
We walk to Lucrezia's room but the door is locked. "Who is it?" Lucrezia calls from the other side of the door.
"It's Lena and Cesare." I yell. "Please just open the door, I want to talk to you." a few seconds of silence go past but then I finally hear her unlock the door. I slowly open the door and walk in. "Cesare I think it would be best if you stay out here." He does not fight this, just simply nods and closes the door behind me. Lucrezia is laying on her bed and staring at the ceiling. As I sit down next to her she curls up next to me and puts her head on my lap. Without saying anything I run my hands through her golden hair.
"What is it Lucrezia?" I asked but I already knew the answer she is scared of what comes next. Anyone would be.
"It is the wedding. I have not even met the Lord Sforza nor have I even seen him so how am I going to love him." I sigh. She doesn't fully understand the marriage and what it is for.
"Lucrezia I am afraid you don't have to love your future husband you just simply have to marry him."
"So what if I don't love him, then I still must marry him?"
"I'm afraid so my love. Marriage and love are two very difficult subjects. But trust me your father will make sure you are happy and well cared for." I kiss her forehead. I am as worried as much as she is, maybe even more because I know how these marriages work out.
To her wedding I wear a teal silk dress with white satin trim. I again look at the box my father had sent me and the items inside. What do they mean? What are they for? Will Leonardo know? Or is he just another clue to what my father wants me to see?
"Are you ready Lena?" Cesare comes through the door. I stand up and join him at the door. "Are you okay?" he asks.
"I am just fine, our Lucrezia is getting married today, of course I am fine." We walk out of the Vatican apartments and down to Saint Peters. All kinds of people were entering Saint Peters from Cardinals to the prince of Naples. I sit next to Cesare and Juan sit on my other side, I hate him next to me. I sit closer to Cesare side because I want to be as far away from Juan as possible. "Who is that Cesare?"
"Who?"
"That woman over there is yellow and black." She was looking over at me for some time now and I don't much like it. It was an evil stare as if I was a bug that needed to be exterminated.
"That is Caterina Sforza."
"The Mistress of Forli?" I tried very hard to evert my eyes from her but I could feel her staring over in this direction. It was unclear whether she was looking at me or not but it felt as though she was. Her gaze was something else. It was something fierce, her eyes were dark pools that were easy to get lost in. Not in a good way.
"You know much of her?" Cesare whispered in my ear. I figured he was whispering because he didn't want Juan to hear. But he was so close that it would be difficult. He has said nothing to us yet, just for the most part ignored us. A blessing really.
"No but I would like to know more of her." Taking her seat she finally stopping looking at me.
"Why is that my love?"
"Because I have heard stories of her and how she fights with the same bloodlust as any man. She is a woman that I admire much. But only for her fierce independence" Not for her lack of social skills.
The music begins and Lucrezia begins to walk down the isle. She looks like an angel as she walks down. Lucrezia has a certain glow about her that shows her innocence. But I am afraid that her innocence may be taken from her. Giovanni stands by the alter with no enthusiasm what so ever. It struck me as odd. When Lucrezia stands next to him she looks so much more younger than normal. This is the first time the had seen each other. While Lucrezia looks full of glee, Giovanni does not. He has the same boring expression on that he always does. She look even more like a child than she normally does. I see on Lucrezia's face that she wishes to hear her husbands voice. She is so hopefully for this marriage. I admire Lucrezia's attitude to things. She always tries to find the light in things. Even as Lucrezia was to take Giovanni's hand she was shaking, it was obvious from here. It wasn't clear if her shaking was because she was nervous of the unknown or because she was scared of her husband. He was still young 26 I believe but since she was so young it seemed so daunting. Giovanni was handsome but very stoic. He had not smiled the entire time, not even when he took her hand. Maybe his face was just that way and he was actually an interesting man.
"What do you think of him?" I whispered to Cesare. I could tell he was not in the best frame of mind. His hands dug into the arms of his seat. I noticed it as soon as Lucrezia stood next to Giovanni. At once point it was silent enough to hear the grinding of his fingernails into the wood of the chair.
"He enjoys the company of Juan" Cesare whispered so close to my ear that I felt the moisture from his breath. "So he isn't someone I think I would care for" he sat back in his seat and I swore he let out a soft groan.
My reasonable judgment seem to have left me for a moment because I turned my attention to Juan. He had said nothing to us yet, maybe he trying to act politely considering what event we were attending.
"What do you think about Giovanni?" I whispered to Juan. He brought his hand up to his chin, scratching at the stubble that is his beard.
"He's fun." Juan whispered but he didn't lean in as close to me as Cesare did. "Does that make him worthy to be my sister's husband?" Even if Juan was awful to me he still love and protected Lucrezia. It's something all 3 of us had in common. "We shall see. He was brought into the marriage for an alliance. The value in this marriage will be proven if he keeps up his end"
"Hopefully we will not need him." Everyone but Lucrezia understands what this wedding is. She is young so it makes sense. But she, like I when I was young, wanted love in a marriage. It's probably true that most people want that. But in this world a marriage could make you.
After the wedding Alexander host a large celebration. His daughter got married so it had to be the biggest event of the year. It seemed like all of Rome was invited to this. I just wonder if Lucrezia and Giovanni have spoken to each other. I mean other than the words 'I do'. Most likely not. Sforza doesn't seem like the person that talks to people unless the person he is talking to is someone like Juan. Those two love drinking together, and Lucrezia's brother is closer to her husband than she is.
On the way over to the celebration I had lost Cesare. I don't even remember seeing him slip away but he did. The music had already started when I walked in. The lively music and the chatter filled my ears. My mind immediately went to food. Not only was I hungry but I can only imagine what sort of food was being served. It was probably many of Lucrezia's favorite which meant desserts. My stomach groaned at the thought of strawberry tarts or candied orange slices.
People had grown quiet when Lucrezia and her new husband Giovanni Sforza started to dance. My head shot up when I realized what was going on because I was so focused on eating something. Everyone crowded around to watch the new couple as it was traditional that they get the first dance. I had to look over people to see them as everyone was faster at getting a view. It seemed like I saw them chatting but viewing through a layer of people made it hard to see what exactly was going on. They didn't seem like very long conversations just short sentences. It seems as if she is asking the questions and he is giving one word answers. With every answer it seems that Lucrezia is getting less and less enthusiastic about her new husband. As the dance went on her smile faded away. I hoped this was all in my head, that I wasn't seeing this. Why was Giovanni not excited? Shouldn't everyone be happy on their wedding day? Maybe he was happy he was just bad at showing it.
"So how do you know the Borgia family." A man had walked up beside me. His voice was deep and smooth. I didn't know him but upon turning I was not upset at what I saw. He was handsome, curly dark brown that seemed like he was growing it out. His eyes were a lush green like emeralds. I stared at them for a moment as I had never seen eyes so bright before.
"I am a family friend." I had to crane my neck up to look at him. He had sharp features which would make anyone menacing but something about him gave off a warmth. I believe it was his eyes, they were wide and that deep green was mesmerizing. Around those eyes were small wrinkles that added to his already inviting demeanor.
"You know you actually look as if you could be Lucrezia's sister." I chuckle at the complement. "I had to double take as I thought for a moment that you were her." Lucrezia is one of the most beautiful woman in Rome so it is a compliment to say I look like her.
"How do you know the family?" I ask still examining his face, trying to read his thoughts through his eyes.
"Alexander has been buying wine from my family for years. Over those years our families have gotten close." He tells me. "I am sorry my lady. I must introduce myself. I am Valentino De Luca." He bows. His clothes told me he was rich. He was dripping in gold and that was only made more intense by all the black velvet he wore.
"Nice to meet you Valentino. I am Lena Donolato." He came up from his bow and his face had a slight smirk.
"My lady Lena would you care for a dance?" He was polite. I had a feeling if the answer was a no he would accept it and let me enjoy my night.
"This is embarrassing to say but I cannot dance My Lord." My head lowered. Not many people to dance with while growing up. My father only kept a small staff so after I stopped spending my time with the Borgias it was hard to find a dance partner. It was quite embarrassing as any lady should know how to dance.
"You will do fine just follow my lead." He takes my hand and leads me out. "Like this." He shows me how the dance goes and I quickly try to follow him. "Ah see you are getting it." He was most likely lying to me. My eyes couldn't keep up with his feet and my ears couldn't process the music fast enough. I moved in the right direction following the movement of everyone else but the footwork itself was difficult. With a long skirt some things were easier to hide than others.
"Not as well as I hoped." I had to chuckle to hide my embarrassment.
"You are doing better than others around you." He smiles at me which makes me blush. My eyes try to dart around to see others but it makes me lose my footing. Concentrating must be kept on my feet.
"You are too kind. Your wife is a lucky woman to have a husband so sweet." This was me prying, trying to get to know the man I danced with. Though I can imagine it was very obvious what I was doing.
"I am sorry to say I do not have a wife." He said he was sorry but it didn't sound like he was all to sad.
"Why not? If you don't mind me asking. A man a young and handsome as you should be flooded in marriage proposals." He was rich as well and had lands. He has to if he produces wine. Money and land is power. He had both so he was probably had many women after him.
"I guess I just have not found the right person yet." He shrugged and didn't seem to upset at this.
My mouth opened to say something else but I felt a hand on my shoulder. I look to see a hand that I remember, it was Cesare. "May I cut in?" He doesn't ask, it is a demand. I am his and his alone. He was not amused and his voice told me that.
"Not a problem my lord." Valentino says to Cesare. Cesare gave him a very unsettling look. I have also known him to be very jealous at times. Valentino flashes a smile at me before leaving us alone.
"That was unkind Cesare." I say to him, turning into his embrace.
"What do you mean? I wanted to dance with you." His voice changed with in an instant as his eyes darted from Valentino direction to me. His jealous voice was gone and he was the sweet Cesare I knew once again.
"I no longer wish to dance." I said, stepping away from him.
"Then what do you want? I will get anything for you." He took my hand and kissed it. Still being slightly annoyed with his impolite attitude towards a man I had just met I still can't help but blush. Cesare was my love and even a kiss on the hand has my blood turn hot.
"I wish to eat." Something I had been thinking about this whole time.
"Then I will get you food from Gods table." He kissed my cheek.
"Food from Rome would do just fine." He takes me over to the table where the family is seated. Alexander is at the head of the table and his mistress Giulia is sitting next to him. Juan is on the other side of Alexander, Giovanni is next to him and Lucrezia is next to her husband. I suspect that little Gioffre has gone to bed. I sit down next to Lucrezia who immediately rest her head on my shoulder.
"I know, it has been a very long day for you my love." I tell her.
"It will be over soon right?" Her voice had a tone of disappointment.
"Not to much longer now." The day may be over but she new life has not even begun. It's not like if she goes to sleep and everything will be better in the morning.
Lucrezia falls asleep on my shoulder. It was to late for someone so young to be up. It took me a bit to notice she was asleep. She had left her head resting on my shoulder as I ate and she must have just drifted into sleep. It was only her light snoring that told me that she was asleep.
"Cesare perhaps you should take Lucrezia to bed." He looks over at her sleeping on my shoulder. He puts down his wine glass, gets up and goes over to Lucrezia. She wakes up when he taps on her shoulder. He picks her up and carries her off. "I'll be right back." He says to me before leaving. Giovanni just sits there and doesn't say a word. It is like he is just a statue. He doesn't even seem bothered that his bride is going to bed. He might even be relieved. I know Lucrezia should be.
As the celebration begins to clear out I see Juan over with a woman and he seems to be drunk, more than normal. If anyone else was this drunk on the regular I'm sure they would have been killed already.
I have waited for Cesare long enough and I get up to leave. As I get to the doorway Cesare almost runs into me. "Stay right here." Cesare tells me "I want to have a word with Sforza." He goes over to the table and sits right next to Giovanni. They exchange a few words then Cesare gets back up. As quickly as he sat down he was back over with me.
"We can go now." He took my hand, interlocking our fingers.
"Is everything okay?" I asked as we strolled down the hall. It took longer than expected for him to take Lucrezia to bed so I'm sure they must have talked. It was probably the reason Cesare wanted to talk to Giovanni so bad. I was wondering what Cesare said to him? Did he threaten him. It seems to be what was most likely.
"Everything is fine." He kissed my hand but I didn't believe him. It might be fine now but there is a reason he spoke to Giovanni. I'd probably never find out why. "This wedding has me thinking a lot of us." At this my interest was peaked. "I never have wanted to marry you more." He stopped walking and faced me. He wasn't as tall as Valentino but still I had to look up at him. His dark brown eyes were so mysterious, I could search them all day but find nothing.
"But you can't." He is a cardinal and marriage was off the table for him. Leaning into him closer I felt comfort in being in his arms.
"That doesn't stop me from loving you." His hands made their way up to my face, cupping my cheeks on either side. When his lips touched mine I felt a rush go over my entire body. Every time he kissed me felt right but this one was better somehow. As I started to kiss him back I felt my body heat up. His hands moved from my face to my waist so he could pull me in closer to him. I was practically on my toes. Within a second he scooped me up in his arms. Lifting my feet from the ground he carried me, one arm supporting my legs the other holding my back. "I'll count myself lucky that you didn't drink too much tonight" I joked.
He carried me to his room, kicking open the door with his foot. Cesare kissed me as he lay me down on his bed. His lips made their way to my neck as he came over me. My hands ran through his thick dark hair as I felt his hand push its way up my skirt. "Wait." I said. He looked at me with concern. His face was so close to mine that our noses were almost touching.
"You want to stop?" He ask and he meant it. If I told him to stop he would listen.
"No" my eyes avoided his and it was hard since we were so close. "I just-" it was hard for my mouth to say the words it was so dry. I'm sure this isn't his first time but it was mine. It was daunting. "I've never done this before" I admit and he smiles.
"Let's go slow then" he kissed me once more before removing himself from being on top of me. He stood in front of me as I sat up. I was confused as I watched him kneel down in front of me. His hands picked up my foot and removed my satin shoes. Slowly his hands went up my skirt finding the beginning of my socks that were just above my knee. His bare hands on my thighs sent a chill through my body. I'm sure my face was completely red. He did the same thing with my other leg. After he started on himself removing enough that he stood shirtless in front of me. My face had to be blood red now. This was embarrassing as well. Since I had never done this before it made me feel inexperienced. But also having never done this before the idea of a naked man made me blush.
I stood in front of him. This time I kissed him first. Though I had felt embarrassment rush over me I still wanted to be with him. There was no one else I would rather have other than him. His hands tugging at the lacing on the back of my gown and I didn't stop him as they came loose. I wouldn't let my shyness stop me from being with the man I loved.
My dress fell from me revealing the cotton slip I wore underneath. It was the only thing left before I was completely naked. Cesare kicked off his boot, tossing them to the side. "You're okay?" He whispered to me and I nodded. With one light tug the strings of the cotton fell away. Slowly he pushed my sleeves over my shoulders letting the cotton slip fall. My skin was hit with the cold air and I shivered for just a moment. But his warm touch brought me back to him and away from the fear that I had. "Relax." His voice was so sweet I felt my legs buckle. He started kissing my neck and my collar bone. I started to fall into him, my legs turning weak under his touch. My arms went around his neck, pulling him into me. I'm as ready as I'll ever be I thought. Falling back into his silk sheet once again he followed me but instead of being above me he was next to me. He kissed me but his hand went to my breast, his thumb was gentle as it circled my nipple. But slowly that hand moved down between my thigh and worked their way up. "Still okay?" He asked and his breath went right into my mouth.
"Yes." I was so quiet I was worried he didn't hear me but he did. Slowly two of his fingers sunk into me. My mouth opened and let out a soft moan as he stroked. It was like my body was reacting before my brain knew what was going on. His face was in my neck, kissing me, bitting my ear. My hips moved down on his hand forcing him deeper but it increased the pleasure. My back arched as he hit the right spot. "Oh" was what I said and I'm not even sure why. It was a reaction but why was that the initial thing that I said? He removed his hand from me as he stood back up. I stared as the ceiling but I heard him taking off his leather pants. What I heard was correct as when I sat up he stood in front of me naked. He was aroused and just as I though my entire face turned red hot as I looked at him and I was sure my mouth dropped open because he said "I'll take that as a compliment." He chuckled. I wanted to laugh but not because anything was funny but because I needed to let out some tension from my body and the only way I can think of doing that is through laughter.
Scooting back on the bed I was laying in the middle waiting for him to join me. "You're like a painting." He said as I watched his eyes scan me. "I can't stop looking at you."
He climbed into bed and just as before he came over me. Now as my dress wasn't restricting me I was able to lift my knees as he positioned himself on me. I kissed him, grabbing his neck bringing him in for a passionate kiss. I felt his fingers lightly touch my waist moving down me like he was tracing me. Then ever so quickly he slipped his hand under the small of my back arching me towards him. I wanted him so bad I could feel my hips twitching under his grip. "Cesare" I whispered. Just as I said his name I felt him side slowly into me. It was a reflex but a moan escaped my lips. I always thought it would hurt but it didn't. Was it a lie that it would hurt? Or was he so slow and gentle that there was no pain?
And he was slow, probably for my sake but it felt good. It felt that every one of my senses was being catered to. When he did speed up it was only slightly but it was enough for me to notice. My hands grabbed his bare back, my nails dug into his skin. He said nothing so I assume it didn't hurt. His lips were on my collar bone and I looked up at the ceiling although I wasn't focused on it. My vision seemed rosy as my eyelids grew heavy. It was only changed when I felt his pace change speeding up just a bit more. I'm sure he was working up to the pace he was used to. "Cesa-" I moaned but I couldn't get out his full name as it was interrupted by moans of pleasure.
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