louis woke up to the sound of two people talking. he slowly opened his eyes, flinching when the sun hit his eyes. he groaned and rested his hand on his eyes to block the bright light. there was a dip in his bed, letting him know someone had just sat by him. he heard the door shut right after, and he was almost scared to open his eyes. it was probably his mum about to bombard him with questions or lottie telling him to stick up for himself.
"lou." a voice whispered, a hand nudging his limp hand by his side.
his breath hitched. nope, this is much worse than his mum or lottie. he peeked his eyes open, seeing harry sitting there with a worried expression on his face. he slowly sat up and looked down to his hands.
"w-what are you d-doing here, harry?" he asked quietly.
harry sighed. "y'know it kinda hurts that you still stutter around me."
louis felt a pang in his chest. "y-you ju-just make m-me nervous." he whispered.
"is that good or bad?" harry bit his lip.
the small boy shrugged and remained looking to his hands. it wasn't that harry made him uncomfortable, in fact, he enjoyed being around him. he just couldn't help but to think one of them will end up hurt. and that scared him.
"louis," harry said changing the subject. "can we talk about what happened back at school?"
louis looked up at him with wide eyes and he began shaking his head quickly. "n-no!" he whimpered.
harry looked at the boy scared, worried he'd start to cry again. "no, no, lou it's okay! we won't if you don't want to."
louis tried to blink away the tears welling up in his eyes.
"what a crybaby, louis!" he thought.
harry frowned and sighed. "i just want you to be okay, lou. that's all i want."
louis nodded. "i-i know." he whispered.
"so," he paused. "i'm going to have to ask you to roll up your sleeves." he said slowly.
"w-what?" he asked, scared.
"roll up your sleeves, louis." he said again.
"wh-why!?" he yelled. he backed up in the bed.
"why won't you show me?" he questioned, afraid of the answer.
"be-because i-i don't want t-to!"
"god dammit, louis." he cursed, gripping onto his arms.
louis suddenly cried out in pain. harry jumped back, eyes wide.
"shit, did i hurt you?" he said quickly.
"a b-bit."
"please, louis just show me your damn arms."
louis looked down at his arms. he held onto the sleeves tightly, deciding to pull them down slowly. what was the use in hiding them any longer? his breath shook along with his entire body. he was scared of what harry would think.
harry held back a sob when he saw the scars on louis' arms and wrists. he was suspicious but god, he wished he had been wrong. he took the boy's small, dainty hands in his own. his fingers traced over the old and new scars not even knowing what to say. he stared at them for a while longer before speaking again. he looked up into louis' blue eyes, suddenly darker than they were before.
"why do you have these scars, princess?" his voice sounded broken.
"because," he whispers back.
"it's art." he simply says.
harry looked back down at his scars and then back up at him. "lou, this is no art."
louis narrowed his eyes. he harshly pulled away his hands out of harry's. "who are you to tell me what's art and what isn't?" he scoffed. "i get to choose my canvas and brushes, not you! and this is what i've chosen." he glared at him.
harry's eyes glossed over with tears. "but louis, this isn't good for you! you can't keep hurting yourself! you-"
"i'm not hurting myself!" he said loudly. "i didn't think you'd get it, no one ever does." he said sadly.
harry sighed. "have you noticed you don't stutter when you're confident in yourself?" he told him.
louis ignored him and looked away from him.
he sighed again and shook his head. "lou, you are hurting yourself. there's no reason to do this to yourself."
"bu-but there is. i-i deserve it, everyone says so. but i make art when i do it so it's okay." he told him.
harry shook his head. "no! that's just not true! you don't deserve this, lou."
"n-no o-one cares. no would care if i'm gone either." his voice cracked, tears starting to fall down his face.
"i care. if it seems like nobody cares, know that i do. i'm going to hold onto you, as tight as i possibly can. you're not alone anymore, lou. look, i know you're broken now but i promise that i'll fix you. i always keep my promises." he whispered, wiping away the boy's tears.
"bu-but stan said-"
"who cares what stan said? he's an asshole and doesn't know what he's saying! it doesn't matter what he says, you've got me now and i won't let him or anyone else hurt you."
louis whimpered, not even caring about the tears falling down his face rapidly. "st-stop."
"stop what, lou?"
"stop lying! all everyone does is lie!" he screamed. "you don't care! no one ever does! people just make you think you're special and cared for, and just when you start believing it, they fucking leave you! they show you they never cared and that all they ever said to you was nothing but lies!" he cried harder. he stood up and got out of bed, turning his back to him, tugging on his hair again.
harry gaped at him. anger suddenly built up in his chest. "who hurt you this bad?" he whispered.
"what?" louis asked.
he stood up, standing behind him now. "who hurt you so bad, louis? who hurt you so much that you can't trust anyone anymore? who made you think like that?"
louis shut his eyes and whimpered. "please, shut up." he begged.
harry frowned and grabbed his arm softly, careful not to hurt him. "come here." he sighed and hugged him tightly.
louis just stood there, stiff. "no one ever keeps their promises." he whispered. "even when you think they're the first who mean it and even when you think they're the first to care, all those promises are always forgotten."
harry shook his head. "things will be different with me. i always keep my promises, lou. and even if you push me away, i want you to know that i'll always be here if you need me."
"we'll see." louis spoke softly, his arms going around harry's waist, burying his face in the taller boy's chest.
maybe things will be different, louis thought.
but then again, he couldn't risk another broken heart.
a/n
IT'S HARRY'S BIRTHDAY WHAT THE FUCK
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS MAN IS TURNING 22 NO HE WAS JUST A LIL BEAN YESTERDAY
MY BABY BOY GREW UP SO FAST WHERE TF DID THE TIME GO
tbh if i was friends with him i'd buy him a frog and be like "a frog for another frog ((:" or maybe if i was rich i'd just buy him a bunch of ysl (i think¿?) and gucci clothes & a cake that says "happy birthday horton"
anyways sad chappie ik sorry guys )): hope y'all liked it tho
gotta zayn tho it's 1am & i got school tomorrow so till next update my loves xx