*1 minute till Christmas*
One more minute.
One more minute and my life is officially starting. I got Audry minutes ago and now we wait for the clock to strike midnight. Audry has no idea what’s going on, but she bounces in excitement. Finally after 27 long years, I was going to have a family. The clock strikes midnight and I jump on Kellin’s stomach.
“Babe! Get up! Come on! It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” Audry bounces even more in my lap and I kiss her cheek. He groans and flips over, putting the pillow over his head. “Kellin!!!!!” I whine. I shake his shoulders.
“Megan. Go to sleep.” He mumbles.
“But Kellin! It’s Christmas! Come on! I even have Audry!” he doesn’t move. I sit on his back and began to move my hips.
“Are you humping my back?!” he asks, face still muffled by the mattress.
“I will have an orgasm right here on your back if you do not wake up.” He flips me off and turns over so he is facing the ceiling.
“Kellin!!!! Come on! Please?” I ask.
“No.”
“Please???”
“No.”
“Please. Pretty please?” I slid off his back and onto the mattress. I hold up Audry and put her face in his. “Pwease daddy pwease?” I say in a fake baby voice. He groans and sits up.
“Fine.” He huffs. He gets up and looks for his shirt. He gives up and walks down the stairs shirtless. He starts a fire in the fireplace and I go to warm up a bottle for Audry. I come back minutes later to find Kellin setting down two cups of coffee. I sit next to him, Audry in my lap sucking on the bottle, his arms around me.
“How does it feel to spend a Christmas as a family?” he rubs his arm up and down my back.
“It feels amazing. I’ve waited so long for this. We’ve been through a shit load. I mean a ton of shit. And we stick it out. Stronger than ever. My best friend has someone to love, I have a girl best friend, that’s a first. I have a such extended family, but most of all, I have my boyfriend and my daughter here.” He stops rubbing circles on my back and stands up.
“I wanted to talk to you about that. Megan, I know I messed up by letting you go.” He turns from facing the fire place and faces me. Tears in his eyes. “You’ve showed me how to be strong and that it’s okay to be weak at times. That day at the frat house is something I live to regret every day. I love you Megan and I hate that I did that to you. You’ve been through so much, so much that you won’t tell me and I wouldn’t understand and it’s okay. I don’t want to know unless you tell me. But our daughter. Seeing you give birth to our daughter, it was the most amazing experience ever. I will forever love Adriana. And I will forever love you. You are the most amazing person ever. Loving, kind, sweet, ambitious. I love that about you. I also love how you can be weak. I love how you shut everybody out when you need them the most. I’m going to love that smile you have. I’m going to love that moment when you were there for me when I bashed my head on the toilet.” He bent down on one knee and pulled out a box. “I know the first time didn’t work. But I have faith in this one. Megan Elizabeth Lake. Will you do the honors of being my wife? Will you marry me?” I sat there, shock spread all over my face. My hands were trembling. He is looking me dead in the eye and now, I’m kinda glad I got his ass out of bed.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” I yell. I set Audry down and run to him. I hug him so tightly. “You dumbass, of course I’ll marry you.” I had tears in my eyes and I was hugging Kellin so tightly. He opened the box to reveal two silver bands. He slid the ring on my finger, which had the words Kellin engraved on it. I noticed how heavy the rings are. They must be made of pure silver. He must have spent a fortune! He put on his which had the words Megan engraved on them. “I love you Kellin.” I say.
“Merry Christmas Megan.” We cleaned up the mess, which wasn’t much, and put Audry to sleep. We lay in bed, hand entwined together, smiling at each other’s face.
“What are you smiling at?” I ask him.
“My beautiful fiancé.” I blush heavily as he leans and presses his lips to mine. He automatically deepens the kiss and bites my lip. I open my mouth in shock and he takes this moment to press, no shove his tongue in my mouth. I roll my eyes at him, but allow our tongues to collide. He rolls on top of me, his hands snaking their way up my back. He breaks away from the kiss. My eyebrows squish together in confusion. He kisses my neck each peck leaving me squealing in delight. The pecks soon turn into sucking. His hands lift my shirt up and fling it across the room. I roll my head to the side as he leaves kisses down from my neck to my stomach. He unclasps my bra and cups my breast. He massages them and then kisses them. This makes my cheeks heat up even more. His tongue traces circles on my nipples before my hands reach for his boxers.
“Antsy are we?” he says. I roll my eyes as he reaches over for a condom. Tearing the little foil square, he rolls the latex over his erection before leaning back down to kiss me. he rips off my underwear and gently slides himself inside of me. I haven’t had sex, real sex, since four months ago with Andy. He goes slowly pushing further and further letting me adjust to his size. Once his in, he goes slowly. But picks up speed. I hold in for as long as I and, but I end up moaning out his name. his hands wraps around my waist and pulls me closer, pushing even deeper. Even though Kellin and I hooked up twice, he’s still pretty foreign to my body. Kellin’s foreheads rest against mine. I turn us over so I’m on top and begin to gliding my hips back and forth. He takes my hips and his head rolls back.
“God, Megan.” He moans. He flips us over so he’s back in charge and there’s a smirk on his face. His thrusts are deeper and harder. He lays his head in the crook of my sweaty neck. I feel myself tighten around him.
“Kellin, I’m going to-” I feel myself release the same time he releases into the condom. He rolls off of me and I lay there, trying to catch my breath. I look over at the clock. Two in the morning. Kellin ties the condom up and throws it in the trash. He turns to face me. His hand stroking my cheek.
“I love you.” He mumbles before falling asleep in my neck. And soon, I was dozing off as well.
The shaking was now becoming unbearable.
“Meg. Wake up. Everyone is down stairs.” I turned over to his side of the bed and put the pillow over my head. Which at the moment is blazing a fire with an ear splitting headache. The shaking came back and I groaned.
“Fuck my life.” I murmur.
“Come on. It’s Christmas!” I lift the pillow off my head to glare at him.
“Don’t play the It’s Christmas card on me Quinn.” I snap.
“Fine. Have it the hard way.” He walks to the doorway and I think it’s over. “JESSE! GABE!!!” he yells. I bury my face in the mattress and groan.
“Whoa man! You got her naked?!” I hear Gabe snicker at Jesse’s comment. I try to ignore them. I want to sleep and sleep. That’s when I felt the bed tilt. I wrap myself in the blankets and try to sink further over, but I roll off and hit my head against the wall. The boys laughed and I just grunted. I could already feeling my bipolar mood swings kicking in. before I could open my mouth to give them every inch of my mind, Kellin ushers them out. Kellin hands m a robe and kisses my cheek as I try to wiggle myself free from my blanket cocoon.
“Merry Christmas boo.” As I freed my arms, a shining piece of jewelry caught my eye.
The engagement ring.
I smiled. I just couldn’t help it!
“Whoa. You’re happy?!” he asks. I punch him in the arm and run to start the shower. I close the door and get ready to step in when the door opens again and locks. Kellin is standing in the doorway with a blue towel covering from the waist down.
“Uh. Hi. What are you doing?” I asked.
“Taking a shower, duh.” He rolled his eyes. I face palmed him and shoved his face.
“No.” I simply said.
“Why?” he raised an eyebrow as he challenged.
“Because.” I stammered. I didn’t really have a reason, it’s just that I feel self-conscious about myself this morning.
“Aw, come on! Don’t let me get Mr. Fluffles on you.” Mr. Fluffles is our neighbor, Adam, cat. He’s a very fat cat, but for some reason that cat hates me. Every time I try to walk up to it, or even talk to it, it hisses at me. One time it even scratched my leg.
“Please. I will cook that cat and poach it.” I said with confidence.
“Megan. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your body is beautiful. Now let go of the robe and let’s take a shower.” My grip on the robe tightens and Kellin chuckled. “This is gonna be a while.” He stands behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders. He’s trying to let the robe slip, but I keep holding on. If I take off the robe, he will see my scars. I’m surprised the cover up stayed on last night. But the sweat from this morning rubbed it off. “Megan.” He purrs in my ear. My arms automatically drop and he takes this opportunity to slide the robe down my body. My hands goes back to cover myself. His hands wrap around me and pry my arms apart.
“Megan, why are you so afraid of what you look like?” he asks. I shrug, but tell him anyway.
“I over think and I just feel like, I’m not, pretty.” He drops his towel and leads me to the shower. He turns me around so that I am facing him and interlock out fingers together. The rings glistening in the water, our hair getting drenched.
“Megan, you are the most beautiful creature alive.” I look at him weird. Did he just call me a creature? Oh yea, make me feel worse! “Megan, that’s not what I mean.” His attention is now on my arms. My wrists to be in particular. Shit.
“Kellin, I-” he silences me by pressing his lips carefully to mine, his fingers tracing my scars.
“Megan, if you ever feel the need to cut, I rather you tear my flesh apart with a razor at any given moment than do that to your own skin.” I look at him to see if he’s joking, but the look in his eyes tells me he’s serious. He pulls me in a hug and strokes my hair.
“I’m serious.”
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
“GUYS!!!” I yell as I run to them. I hug Jesse first, then Gabe, Jack, Justin, Austin and Alan.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS MEGAN!!!!” they all cheer.
“WHOA! TATTOO HOTTY!!!” Jesse yells as he looks at the tattoos I have. I have a dream catcher on my thigh and Audry’s full name tattooed on my left hand. We all sit in the front room, Audry and I sitting on the floor next to Austin, all of Sleeping with Sirens on one couch and Alan on the arm chair.
“Okay. Who wants to go first?” I ask. Austin raises his hand and I slid towards the tree and get out a box labeled Carlile. He opened the wrapping with such speed; he could have millions of paper cuts. He looks inside and screams. He takes out a photo frame with multiple photos. One is of Audry, him, and Alan at Austin’s place on the front porch. The second one is of him, Audry, and I, taken about two months ago. The third is the whole band Of Mice & Men. One is the photo I took of him and Squidgy. The night he gotten drunk and was having a deep conversation with him. The other one is one of the last photos Austin had of him and Mitch Lucker together. The last one is a photo of him and his mother. Tears welled up in his eyes as he smiled.
“Thank you.” He says low enough for me to hear. I know it must hard have to spend Christmas without a mother. I’ve dealt with it too.
“ME NEXT!!” Alan says breaking away the silence. I hand him a bag since it would be weird to wrap his gift. He opens it and then he yells. “Dude. No fucking way! You got me another bong! It’s about God damn time!” the doorbell rings breaking away my consentration.
“You guys go ahead and open the rest of your gifts.” I automatically hear them arguing over who’s whose. I open the door to be pushed aside by Mike, Tony, and Jaime. Vic and Maria come in last, holding hands. I smile at them. I haven’t talked to Vic since about two weeks ago.
“Merry Christmas Megan.” He let’s go of Maria’s hand and engulfs me in a hug. Maria comes and hugs me from behind. Although it felt weird, I was grateful. Mike and Jaime were already joking around with the guys as they found bags and boxes with their names labeled on it. I didn’t get Vic anything nor did he. We’ve been through a lot where presents aren’t important anymore. I got Maria a locket and inside was a picture of us I found that we took at Warped in 2010. I got Mike anew pair of drum sticks and a couple of Harry Potter and Star Wars movies I found in my basement. Correction, our, basement. Kellin got Tony turtle pajamas and a new Wii, since his last one was destroyed by Vic one drunken night. Jaime got a couple of albums he wanted as for everyone else, their gifts were music related. Next Andy and Juliet bust through the door gifts in hands. After what seem like hours, the doorbell rang again. I left my spot, which was Kellin’s lap, and went to answer the door. my father stood before me, gift bag and wrapped present in hand.
“D-d-d…..” I couldn’t bring myself to say the word dad.
“Merry Christmas Megan.” And with that he walked away. I stood at the door shocked. I couldn’t tell what shocked me the most. The fact that my dad remember it’s Christmas or the fact the his breath smelled of mint and he was sober.
Was it really a Christmas miracle that my dad is sober?
I looked into the bag and saw baby clothes and toys. He knows about Audry? I walk into the living room and walk outside. I open the box and there’s three things inside. A letter, a picture frame, and my journal. I got to the letter first.
Megan,
I am so sorry. I know you will never forgive or forget for all the terrible things I’ve done. Things that is so terrible that I still have nightmares about them. What your large friend told me at the wedding was true and I deserve every blow he threw at me. I know things have been even harder with the return of your brother and your mother committing suicide. It was a great burden on me. but my wife, your now cousin, she talked to me and I’ve decided I want to be better for you. So after giving you your gifts, I will be spending the next three months in rehab. I just-gosh, I’m crying now.
His hand writing becomes shaky at this part, so I know he really has been crying. I continue to read.
I hate myself every single day for the hell I’ve put you and Vic through. Megan I’m so sorry, that I almost gave up hope. I wanted to so much die. But then I met Ashlyn and I fell in love. She pushed me to be a better person and not just for her, but for you and-I’m sorry for rambling on. My phone number is at the bottom. I know you will never use it, but I’m here for you and I’ve changed. For better, always for better.
Merry Christmas Megan and to your daughter Audriana.
Wow. I can’t believe my dad really did this. He’s going to rehab. I’ve been through a lot and call me crazy, but I’m going to call him. I look at the photo. It was taken when I was about seven or eight. We went on a fishing trip and you can see my brother holding the fish while my mom and dad kiss in the background and I look like I’m about to puke. I set it aside and look at my journal. It had song lyrics written in it. Whenever I was feeling down, which was a lot, I would write in it. I’m surprised he even remembered. The back door opened and Kellin came and sat next to me. he looked through the baby stuff.
“Who gave you this?” he asked, putting down the bag.
“My d-d-d……my dad.” I hand him the letter and let him read over it.
“Call him.” He says after a while. I smile and lean my head onto his chest.
We ate dinner, well me and Tony had salads and what not. We ate cookies, told each other funny storied, marveled over Audry and then Kellin told everyone we’re engaged. They were so happy for us. I got my gifts which I opened, thanked everyone and put it in my suitcase. Soon it got dark and everyone was heading out. We had to make our flight to Michigan. As I was locking the door Kellin called my name.
“Megan?”
“Yea?” I smoothed down my white dress and fixed my shoes. I dragged my suitcase across the pavement and readied myself as I was going to meet Kellin’s mom and stay there for a couple days. I got in the car and Kellin took my hand, Audry sleeping soundly in the backseat.
“I don’t know what I would do without you.” He says as he starts the truck up.
“Me neither Kellin.” Me neither.