~Kellin~
His eyes widened and I stepped forward and put my hands on his chest. I remembered before when I had a dirty mind. It's hard to believe I did, but it shows every once in a while. I gently pushed him until his back touched the wall.
"Don't worry about it. I'll stop you before it gets out of hand." I kissed the edge of his lips and they parted then i trailed kisses down his jawline to his neck. He groaned and i lightly bit the spot I was at before trailing my lips back over it.
"You are too much." He breathed after stopping himself from moaning. I smiled and stood up straighter to kiss him on the lips again.
"What time is it?" He asked casually after catching his breath.
"Um... A little after nine. We have less than 15 minutes."
"Do you have any tests today?" He questioned. I shook my head. "Wanna go home?"
"Sure. Can we walk?" He only lives around five minutes from the school so it shouldn't be that hard to walk there.
"Otay." He put his hands over mine on his chest.
"You're being cute today."
"And you're being cute everyday." He returned. I smiled and looked towards my feet.
We sat in the bathroom and talked randomly until the bell rang and Gabe brought me my stuff. Vic grabbed his one bag from a counter on the wall and then laced his hand with mine before leading me out of the school.
"I know a shortcut." He said after we were on the sidewalk. I just looked at him and nodded. He turned and started walking towards the woods. I fell behind him and released his hand as he walked through the treeline. I stopped moving and he quit walking to turn around to look at me.
"What's wrong?" I shook my head and tried to walk through. I got a few steps in and started sobbing hysterically. I curled to cover my stomach and Vic grabbed me and sat on the ground with me in his lap. Flashbacks of that day came into my head. Her holding me down and me crying. I tried to hit Vic so I could get up. I felt like she was holding me down. I put my hands to my ribs and it felt like they were broken like they were when she kicked me. Everything that happened flooded my mind. I was reliving all of it. I could feel the leaves on the skin of my back when she layed on me, even though now all the leaves were green and on the trees.
I kept hitting Vic and screaming for him to let me go. My past had me believing that it wasn't him there. I had started to believe it was her and that she was trying to hurt me again. He just held me tighter and rocked me.
"It's just me, you're okay." He kept repeating trying to calm me down.
"Let me go!" I exclaimed. I scratched at his chest and arms. Any type of unclothed skin was now pink and bleeding. I kept hitting, any type of pain I could cause made me feel better. I was winning. I ran my nails down his chest again and he pulled air in through his teeth.
"Kellin, it's me! It's Vic. Please stop!'" He screamed and held my arms to my sides. "You're hurting me, please stop! Please." I heard his voice cracking and i looked at him and tried to focus. I saw him but heard her. Her repeating the same things over and over again. No matter what I did, it wouldnt go away. I pulled my arms free and covered my ears. I sung a random song that was in my mind.
"Savior will be there, when you're feeling alone, oh.
A savior for all that you do..." After a while, I quit singing because it wasn't working. As my voice cut out, his continued, only with a different song.
"She sits up high, surrounded by the sun.
One million branches and she loves everyone. Mom and dad, did you search for me? I've been up here so long I'm going crazy.
And as the sun went down, we ended up on the ground."
He continued to sing and i started to slowly calm down so I could hear him better. By the time he finished the song, I was just sniffling. He continued to rock back and forth and rub my back to make sure I was okay. I turned and moved my hand to his chest so I could feel his heart beat but he hissed in pain. I moved away from him and saw blood on his once gray shirt. It was in streaks and he tried to cover it so I couldn't see.
I looked at him in confusion and slowly lifted his shirt to see nail marks down his skin. I looked up at him, horrified at what I had done.
"Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know i was doing that, I didn't mean to hurt you." I said quickly and started crying again. He kept trying to get me to stop rambling but i was panicking again. "I really didn't mean to, I didn't know what i was doing. I was trying to get away from her. She-" He quickly kissed me to make me stop talking.
"I get it. You're fine, don't worry about it." I blinked a few times. "Trust me, I understand. Mike has proof that I do."
"What do you mean?"
"He has scars from me when I was having moments like you just did." He stated sadly and stared off into the trees. He was like this? What happened?
"You use to do this too?" He nodded slowly.
"Everytime he left for school." I looked at him in confusion.
"Did something happen to Mike?" I asked cautiously.
"No... well, yes. Sort of. It happened to both of us. See, our mother was never there. When she was she just left again when she got bored or had something better to do." Hurt flashed through his eyes. "I just remember trying to get Mike to go to his room so he wouldn't get hurt if she got violent. She got angry with us very easily. I begged her not to leave almost every night that she walked out. I blamed myself for it for the longest time thinking that if I wasnt so whiny that maybe she would have stayed. I used to sit in front of the door and wait for weeks for her to come back. The last time I waited i sat there for a month. I wouldn't eat and I could barely sleep. I would only get a few hours because of pure exhaustion. I basically would keep myself awake and just pass out one day, then the process would start over. She never came back. Mike was almost too young to remember her so it fortunately didn't affect him much. I on the other hand, well I would be so scared that Mike would leave, or my dad, or my friends would just walk away from me that I developed abandonment issues. It got so bad that I had to stay home from school because in the middle of class, I would breakdown because i was terrified of my dad not being home when I got back." He was crying and holding me really tight. He had begun to rock again, this time attempting to soothe himself.
"Hey Vic?" He looked at me. He seemed so broken. How could anyone give up a chance to be with him? Anger rose in me and I put my face in the side of his neck, the scent slightly calming me. How could anyone leave him?
"Yeah?" His voice cracked and tears continued to spill from his eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere. The only reason I would possibly think about leaving is if you told me to or you hurt me and, seeing how gentle you are with me, I don't think either of those are going to happen." He smiled and kissed my hair before laying his cheek on top of my head.
"Believe me, the only person I could ever hurt is your father." He said and rubbed my arm between the two bandages. His body was tense and he was breathing heavily, not sure if it was because of crying or from his anger.
I turned my head and lightly kissed his chest through his shirt. He slightly relaxed but was still holding me tightly.
"Let's go to your house now. I dont want to be in the woods." I said quietly. He nodded and waited for me to stand. I helped him up and when I went to walk away he stopped me and gave me a hug.
Halfway through the shortcut i found a tree that was low to the ground. The branches were close together and I smiled widely before looking over at Vic. He glanced at me and then smiled back. I quickly released his hand that I had previously taken and ran towards the tree.
I grabbed the lowest tree branch and pulled myself above it. Planting my feet, i balanced on it before moving to the next one.
"Please don't hurt yourself." Vic yelled from the ground when I was nearly halfway up the short tree. Every time I would climb onto another branch, he would tense until I found my balance. "Kellin please get down" He laughed to himself as I hung upside-down from the top branch.
"But I'm having fun."
"Please" he asked and cringed as I started swaying back and forth.
"Make me." I said winking. He smirked and then began climbing the tree. He got to me rather quickly and stood on the branch below me.
"Hi." I said laughing. I sat up and got down on the branch with him.
"I can't technically make you do anything."
"Sure you can." I smiled and pecked his lips. What I didn't expect was for him to put his palm to the back of my neck to keep me against his lips. The peck had turned into a full length kiss rather quickly. I'm not complaining though because something about his lips made me weak. I relaxed and his arm made it's way around my back to stop me from falling. He stopped kissing me and slowly let go of my waist when he knew I wouldn't fall. I was dazed from the kiss and I couldn't, nor did i want to, form a complete thought.
"Can we get down now?" I smiled, coming back to reality, and hung from the branch before letting go and landing on the ground. I stood up and looked at him.
"Okay. I'm down."
"Please never do that again." He said with wide eyes as he started to climb down.
"Then don't let me climb trees." When his feet hit the ground I ran in the direction of the opening of the woods. He looked shocked and then ran after me. I looked back at him over my shoulder and started giggling. I stood behind a tree. He caught up to me and peered around the trunk of the tree.
When i started to run again, he put his arm out beside him. I ran into it and he pulled me back to him so i turned in his grip to see him.
"You're fast." He said out of breath. I just shrugged.
We continued to walk to his and Mike's house. When we got there he unlocked the door and I ran to his room to set my stuff down. We lounged around in his room, talking for most of the day.
"Hey Vic?" I said as he made it back into the room from his trip to the bathroom. He looked at me waiting for me to continue. "Can I take a shower?"
"Yeah, go ahead. Do you want me to stay in the living room or are you okay with me staying in here?" It would make me more comfortable if he went in the living room but I didn't want to make him move. My hesitation made him decide for me. "I'll go down there." He smiled, grabbed a binder and a couple papers out from under his bed, and then left the room. I grabbed pajama pants from his dresser and went to the bathroom.
Ten minutes later I was dressed and walking towards the livingroom. I had put his hoodie back on after I got out. When I got downstairs he was holding his acoustic guitar under his arm and writing on a sheet of paper. I stood beside the wall and watched him for a couple minutes. He would play a few notes and then rest his pick between his lips so he could write more down.
He tried a section of notes several times, sometimes changing a few things. When he got what he wanted he would smile and his eyes would light up at the sound.
I walked behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He quickly hid his papers and put down his guitar before looking at me.
"Hello." I said after he quit moving. He looked nervous and kept glancing at his binder and then back at me. "I didn't see anything, don't worry." He nodded and stood up to move beside me. I felt kinda sad because he couldn't show me his lyrics but I get that they're personal. Oh well. However, this did make me remember something from earlier today.
"Can I ask a question?" He nodded but looked anxious. "Earlier when I was freaking out, what song was that?"
"That was a song that I wrote with Mike. He wrote the music for it but I, uh, I wrote the lyrics." I nodded and smiled.
"You're very good." He grinned and relaxed a bit.
"Thank you." He yawned and leaned against the couch.
"You know, we've had a habit of going to bed early." He laughed and yawned again.
"I want to go take a nap or something." He said quietly. I grabbed his hand and went upstairs to his room. I layed on the bed with him and, after a few minutes, got an idea so i sat up and straddled his waist.
"You said take a nap or something. This is something." I said and bit the inside of my lip.