-JERIC-
Nag usap pala sila Jenny at Lorr and might go somewhere to shop.
"Isabay mo nalang ako. I bet you won't like getting stucked with them while shopping." Hirit ni Kyle.
Pareho kasi kaming bagot sumama sa stroll. Yung totoo kasi... hindi pala ako kasama sa lakad nila today. Powerplant dapat sila but Lorr insisted to have lunch first sa Rob Mag since dadaanan ko pauwi yun from practice.
I knew how my reaction got serious after realizing na planado pala lahat ng nangyayari lately between Lorr and I.
"Wag mo na isipin yun. Think of it this way, kaya ka nandito because you'll bail me out. Look, I don't have to drive for them. Thanks talaga, pare." Hirit ni Kyle. Whom obviously trying to divert the topic.
Pinagamit nya nalang yung kotse nya kay Jenny para di na sya sumama. Then, nag-alibi na dadaan daw sya ng bahay to catch up with Dad. Sige na, Kyle. Lusot ka na.
"Is there anything bugging you out, man?" He asked.
I rephrased his question to myself...
Why am I allowing Lorr to bug me out?
"Naninibago lang siguro ako kay Lorr." I said earning a chuckle from Kyle.
"Anong nakakatawa dun?" I asked back.
"Kahit kami naman. Jenny and I find her weird these days."
He told me that Lorr's asking for the barkada to help her out na yayain ako or for me to join kapag may lakad yung group. Kahit nga daw sabihin nila na busy ako, imposibleng walang masa-suggest si Lorr para maisama talaga ako.
"Ah, so binibugaw nyo ko kay Lorr?" I shot back.
"No dude. Ikaw lang kasi eh. Ikaw na ang hinahabol ng babae ayaw mo pa."
I guess my friends either knew me too well or they do not know me that much yet.
Magulo ba?
They knew me too well... to the extent na alam nilang nahihirapan na rin akong maging single. Laging third or fifth wheel. Gusto na siguro nilang makita na magkaroon ng direction ang buhay ko. Yung may makasama ako habang iniisip kung ano ba dapat ang path na iprioritize ko.
Or... They don't know me that much... Kasi baka naman they aren't looking at the deeper side of things. Yung, baka iniisip nila na I'm close to being desperate when it comes to looking for someone to be in a relationship with.
To be honest, I'm lost somewhere in between. Ayokong magmadali kasi ayokong magkamali...
Pero natatakot ako talaga na baka late na ang lahat before I can figure out what I want.
"Ano na bang balita kay wattpad writer? Baka sa sobrang slow update mo maunahan ka na ng iba." Kyle's question brought me back to my senses.
Napaisip tuloy ako ulit. How can I possibly know kung dapat ko bang ipursue yung kay Gab when my own mom tells me otherwise?
Sa edad kong to, have I made tons of wrong decisions na ba to let mom decide for me? Should I really let her decide for me?
----------
-GAB-
"Sasama sana ako magroadtrip pabalik ng Makati para ihatid ka eh, kaya lang, dadaanan ko pa si Mama bago umuwi." Paalam ni Pao.
"Ganyan ka naman talaga. Sanay na kami, wag ka na mag-explain. Alam namin na hindi mo kami naging priority kahit kelan." Hirit ni Gelo.
"Wag ka na umarte, Alu. Ayaw mo pa talaga? Wala ng MH." Sira rin talaga kukote nito ni Pao eh.
"Ako na dyan!" Pao reacted nung sasakay ako sa back seat dapat habang nagbabarahan pa sila. Talagang nakipag unahan pa sya para lang sa back seat.
"Fine. Chill. Kalma. All yours." Natatawa kong pag give way. And might be the first set of words from me the time we headed back to the car.
I'm trying to laugh my thoughts out pero ayun pa rin eh. Iniisip ko pa rin si Jeric at yung babae kanina. Hindi ko na rin alam ang nangyayari sa paligid. I was just watching the buildings, cars and lights as we pass by.
Alam ko kasi yung dapat kong kalagyan. Hindi dahil sinwerte ako na sa ganun kaiksing panahon, privileged na ko na makalapit ng ganito kay Jeric. Overwhelming, oo. Pero pinipigilan kong umakyat sa ulo ko dahil ayokong mawala, ayokong masayang lahat.
"Wag mo na gisingin, ingat kayo." Nakatulog pala ako. Narinig ko nalang si Pao na nagsalita at bago pa ko makamulat, nakababa na sya.
"San na tayo?" I asked Gelo after noticing that the sight is quite unfamiliar to me.
"Nasa kotse pa rin."
"Pastilan ka, Alolino! Alam ko nasa kotse pa tayo. What I meant was, nasaang lugar na tayo." Sabi nga, magbiro ka na sa lasing wag lang sa bagong gising.
"Joke lang. Eto naman. Araneta. Walang traffic. Hindi ka male-late." Feeling ko sa Araneta Center kami pumasok para di na tatawid si Pao.
"Yung totoo, ayoko pumasok bigla. Magko-call in nalang ako." I told him.
"Sick leave kasi broken hearted. Valid ba yan?" Tingnan mo 'to. Imbes suportahan ako, nambasag pa.
"Tsaka sinong gagawa ng med cert mo? Si Teng?"
"Loko."
"Ah, dapat doktor pala. Sige igagawa kita mamaya."
"Kelan ka pa naging doctor sa puso ha? Last time I checked basketball player ka ah."
"Wala ka talagang bilib sakin. Nakakasakit ka na." He said.
"Ok, so ano po bang ipeprescribe nyo Dr. Joshua Angelo Alolino? Mabubuo pa ba?"
"Imposibleng mabuo ko yan kasi hindi naman ako yung laman nyan. But I can try to patch the pieces together kung papayag ka."
I was so dumbfounded with his answer. Pinipilit ko nga isipin na joke lang yun tapos gusto ko nalang biglang tumawa pero natalo ako ng awkwardness eh. Nandun ako sa point na hindi ko mautusan yung sarili ko kasi nabigla ako. Pinipilit ko yung sarili ko na maniwalang nagjojoke lang sya o kaya biglang may segue na humihirit lang sya.
But it was obvious na kahit sya nabigla sa pinagsasasabi nya. For once nagkailangan kami and would avoid gazing at each other.
Suddenly, we were enveloped of an eerie, awkward silence...
Nag stoplight...
Tapos kinuyog ng mga zombie yung kotse ni Gelo at nagpupumilit na atakihin kami.
CHAROT.
Napangiti ako sa naisip ko at sa pagiging weird ko. Kung pwede lang talagang irewind, sana sumigaw nalang ako kesa ngumiti at nagpigil ng tawa. Feeling ko kasi nagmuka akong kinilig. Oo, kinilig ako sa pag-atake ng mga zombie. Nakakainis. I hope I'm not sending wrong signals to Gelo. Ayoko naman kasi magkaron ng flaws yung friendship namin dahil sa present situation.
Hindi ko sya gagawing rebound.
Yes, maka-rebound. Jowa? At ano, pinopormahan ka ba nito. Lakas ng kapal ng muka mo dun, Gab!!!
"Natahimik ka?" He asked.
"Nag isip ako bigla ng alibi. Simula nung nakilala ko kayo nila Glenn kasi nagamit ko na lahat ng alibi sa call in sick eh."
"Ah, so kami pa ang BI talaga? Kahit second trip mo lang talaga kami o panakip butas pag sablay yung lakad nyo ni Teng... Kami pa rin ang umuubos ng Surprise Leave mo ha."
"Ay wow. Grabehan."
"Oy bakit? Totoo naman ah."
"Whatever, Gelo. Whatever." Tapos di na sya nagsalita.
"Yung totoo, Gelo. Galit ka na?" I asked him with my head low.
"Hindi pa. Pero hindi ko alam bakit naaapektohan ako." He answered.
---------
-JERIC-
"Salamat, Jeric! Ingat." Kyle said then closed the door.
He asked me to just drop him off sa condo nya.
"Bakit ang aga mo?" Mom surprisingly asked.
Pag di nakakauwi agad, bakit late umuwi... Pag umuwi ng maaga, bakit ang aga. Argh. San ba ko lulugar?
"Ahia, akala ko nag lunch kayo ni Lorraine?" She asked.
"Opo." I replied.
"And then?"
"She wanted to go shopping so I drove Kyle home."
"Anak naman. Maiintindihan naman ni Kyle kung papakitaan mo ng priority si Lorraine. Obviously, she's making time for you, di mo ba napapansin yun ha?"
"Oo, given na yun Mommy. But wouldn't it be better na ako yung magyaya sa kanya kesa yung sya yung gumagawa ng way?"
"Pero kelan pa anak?"
"When the right person comes."
"Lorraine can be the right girl. Ayaw mo lang maging open for that option."
"Kasi pinipilit nyo, Mommy. If she is the right person for me, then so be it. Pero wag na sana umabot sa point na sineset nya lahat."
"Ano na namang pinagtatalunan nyong mag-ina?" Dad asked.
Naabutan nya kasi kami eh. I hope I didn't raised my voice that much.
"Kausapin mo yang anak mo, Alvin."
"Sorry Mommy. I know you're doing this kasi kulang ako sa initiative at maturity about my future but please, let me discover for myself kung sino yung gusto kong makasama. I have always considered your picks, Mommy. Alam nyo po yan. Ibigay nyo na sakin to. Kahit ito lang po." I told them and went to my room.
With my back laid and my eyes fixed at the ceiling, I can't help but wonder... Why are we meeting people? Lahat ba sila may purpose sa buhay natin? Like fans... Collectively, yes. Alam kong wala kami dito kung wala sila. Bashers, as one... Para silang reminder na you can't just be the same you... Palaging may dapat pang iimprove. But individually, may ibang purpose ba sila kung mas makikilala ko sila on a personal level?
"Jeric? Anak?" I heard Dad.
"Pasok po."
Dad came in with a worried look drawn all over his face.
"Anong nangyari sa inyo ng mommy mo kanina sa baba?" He asked as he settled himself on the couch as if this is a serious matter we need to talk about.
"Pinipilit nya kasi si Lorr, daddy. I can't understand kung bakit kelangan gawin nya yun, Daddy." I explained as I sat down.
"Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang sinasabi nya na mas matututo ako kay Lorr kesa kay Gab. Hindi ko alam bakit kelangan may comparison." I added.
"Gusto lang siguro ng Mommy mo na tulungan ka magdecide. Alam mo namang paborito ka nun." Dad calmly said.
"Ok lang talaga sakin na si Mommy yung pumili ng best option sa lahat ng bagay, Daddy. Career, endorsement, investment. Kahit damit, kotse, sapatos. Hindi ako papalag ng ganito. But she has to understand and sana pabayaan naman nya ako pumili ng babaeng gusto ko."
Natawa at napailing si Daddy.
"Hindi ka pa nasanay kay Susan, oo." Pailing iling pa rin si Daddy.
"She will never agree pagdating sa babae. Nakalimot ka na ba? Kahit sinong nanay naman siguro ganun, Jeric. She just fears na isang araw, marealize mo na mali. Hindi ko sinasabing laging mali ang desisyon mo but it is for yourself to find out. Chinachallenge ka lang ng Mommy mo."