Christmas Eve
“Austin, come one! Bring Audry down!” twenty-four days. That’s how long it took for our family to reunite. After that day in the hospital, it would take the lowest of low to try and break us apart. We officially got back together a couple days later and I even moved back in. of course I still keep some stuff at Austin’s place, I mean me and Kellin still have fights. But when we’re sleeping alone, the memories hit. The frat house, attempted suicide, the deaths, and my own death in a way. The next day we are in each other’s arm, begging one another not to leave. We got Audry back after a long enough stay at Austin’s house. She’s now five months and trying to speak words. We went to the doctor about it, since she was premature by a month, he said and I quote;
“Who knows what will happen.” We just laughed.
“Babe?” Kellin’s voice snaps me out of the thought.
“Yea?” I called. I did not want to get up. My stomach has been hurting a lot lately.
“Where’s the eggs?” I know I’m not pregnant again. We only had sex once, but we used a condom. But what if I was pregnant. Could we even take care of another child?
“Babe.” The swirly patterns on the carpet become a nice distraction to my thoughts. No, I’m not pregnant. It hasn’t even been a full month. I use my foot to draw patterns in the carpet. This couch is really cozy. We put our tree up last week and it was beautiful. Kellin and I got a real tree, you know, after it fell and almost killed us. Kellin got a star, a black one and named the tree, Quinn Killer, since it almost killed him. He’s being so dramatic. Vic’s coming over tomorrow and he’s bringing his girlfriend Maria. Who I haven’t seen in ages. Two weeks ago, Kellin and I flew out there to see her and tears were in her eyes. Vic and I met her at Warped 2010. She was and still is one of the merch girls. Tomorrow has to be perfect, not only is she meeting Audry, but tomorrow night, Kellin and I are flying to Michigan to meet his mom. I was excited, but nervous. So freaking nervous.
“Babe!” I look up from the carpet. Wow. It really gets you thinking.
“Yes?” I ask. What did he want? I’m a woman going through a crisis here!
“I asked where are the eggs like five minutes ago.” I nodded and went back to tracing circles on the carpet. Eggs. Right.
“Oh, you need to go to the store.” I said.
“Are you okay?” Kellin sits next to me and puts a hand on my thigh.
“Yea, fine. Why?” he raises an eyebrow.
“Audry has been sitting in front of you for three minutes and you haven’t even notice.” I face palmed him.
“Psh. Kellin, I would know if my own daughter was in front of-” he pointed to the floor and sure enough, Audry was sitting on the carpet looking at me. “Whoa. How did you do that?” I ask. He shook his head and dragged me into the kitchen. He hoists me up and sets me on the counter. He walks between my legs and puts his elbows on my thigh.
“Megan. I know you too well. What’s wrong?” what is wrong? I don’t even know. Things are going great. Vic finally has someone to love, I have four someone’s to love and life is perfect. Maybe a little too perfect. I know myself too well. Something bad is gonna crash down on us. Something suicide can’t fix. The itching sensation of my wrist came back. Kellin doesn’t know I’m cutting. Thank goodness it’s winter. The hot water turns my wrists back to normal, but if exposed, they turn purple. I don’t even know why I cut. I have break downs in the middle of the night and I can’t control myself. I’m puking every morning I’m an emotionally mess and I’ve stopped eating. I haven’t’ ate more than one meal since I left the hospital. I think I might be mentally sick. I needed to see a therapist. I’m slowly killing myself from the inside out. I don’t even look the same. I don’t have my blonde hair anymore. I dyed it and now I’m a brunette. I still have my piercings, but I have two tattoos. It’s like I need pain to comprehend. Something painful and permanent. What is wrong with me?! I don’t want to set a bad example on my child. I sigh and lean my head on Kellin’s chest. He won’t be here long. Neither will Austin. They all have tours. And Vic has Maria. So he’s out of the question. Man, life has taken such a wild turn. I could always call Oliver and see if he could stay to help me take care of Audry.
“I don’t know any more Kellin.” I say after a while of thinking. The doorbell rang and he went to answer it. I picked up Audry and walked to the door.
“Hey, is Megan home?” a female voice asked. The dark hair was a dead giveaway.
“Hey Maria.” I say. I flick my head to the stairs, motioning her to follow me. She walks by Kellin and follows. We sit on the bed and she takes Audry. Her hazel eyes bore into mine. I hate that. It’s like she can tell what’s wrong with one look to your eyes. That’s why I love her.
“Megan, I’m really worried about you. You need to see a doctor. You’re not your usual self.” I look into Audry eyes. “Think about your daughter. If she were older, she wouldn’t want her mother like this. Please come with me.” I look into her pleading eyes which are on the brink of tears. I fidget with my fingers and the helm of my shirt. The tears are already pouring out as I nod. The door opens and Austin starts to speak.
“Hey have you guys seen-whoa are you okay?” Maria hands him Audry and she takes my hand. She tosses me a pair of UGGS and my keys. She drives me to the hospital while I stare out the window. How did Kellin ever pick me? Nothing makes sense about me. I’m so stupid. Nothing lasts forever. I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them. We arrive in the parking lot and she walks me up to the desk. She asks for my doctor and the lady points to the back. It feels like a nightmare walking back down here. I sit on the table and wait for my doctor to come. I just want to go home and cuddle up with Kellin. But something is wrong with me and I need help. What seem hours later, he finally comes in. he sits on a chair across from me and begins to speak.
“Okay. Before we start with any actual tests, tell me a couple things that matter to you.” Right off the back I name Kellin Audry Vic and Austin. “Family.” He draws my blood and does some other tests and tells us we have to wait a while. He comes back to ask me a couple more questions.
“What was your last meal?” he asks, crossing his legs.
“Uh, chicken alfredo.” At least, I think that was it. Kellin can be a horrible cook at times.
“Okay. When was this?” I tried to think. When was the last time I ate that?
“Uh, about a week and a half ago?” Maria gasped.
“Okay. What have you eaten since then?” he began tapping things into his iPad.
“Uh, air.” I began to trace circles on my thighs. The doctor shook his head and handed me a piece of paper.
“Anorexic and mild depression. Here’s you prescription. Maybe you and uh,”
“Kellin.” I state.
“Yes, Kellin, could have a romantic night. Ease some stress of your shoulders.” I nod.
“Thank you, wait! I’m not pregnant?” I bounced. This may be the first thing to make me smile.
“Nope.” A smile crept on my face and I grabbed Maria’s hand.
“Where are we going?! Why are you dragging me?!” she yells.
“It wouldn’t be dragging if you use your feet!” I basically throw her in the car and start it up. I drop off Maria and promise to call her later and I rush home. I slam the door shut and run into the kitchen. I see Kellin looking outside.
“Hey babe, Austin, Audry, and Alan went to the-” I jump in his arms and plant a kiss on his lips. His eyes widen I surprise as he holds me up. “-mall. What got you so excited?” I didn’t want to explain my pregnancy scare. I was just so happy I wasn’t pregnant and that Kellin is still all mines for a while.
“Nothing. Can’t a girl be happy to see her be-loving boyfriend?” I ask. I jump down and make some coffee. He snakes two arms around my waist and kiss my neck.
“Well, if she really wants to make her be-loving boyfriend happy, she can always give me my Christmas present early.” He whispers.
“Now why would I do that? all the presents are under the tree and just like everyone else, you will have to wait to get yours.” He gives me a disgust look.
“Uh,”
“Kellin! I’m kidding!” I exclaim. He rubs his hair and walks to the bedroom.
“I’m going to need to think on that one.” I laugh and finish pouring my coffee. I sit on the couch and stare at the tree. This is going to be my first Christmas as a family in a long time.
One can only hope things go as planned.
blah, blah, blah. i know short and boring. I've been having bad writers block for this story lately, so bare with me. i might extend this story to ten more chapters. so, who knows. :/