~Frank's POV~
I groaned as I felt myself begin to come into consciousness. My head hurt. I stretched out my arms, wherever I was laying, and felt something warm next to me.
Wait a minute.
That was too big and not fuzzy to be Sweet Pea.
I forced my eyes open. I was greeted by Jamia, sleeping next to me. She was only in her bra and panties. I looked down at my own body. I was down to my boxers.
"Oh fuck..." I let out the breath of air, beginning to panic. What had happened last night? The last thing I could remember was being outside... Then Jamia...
I looked around the room I was in. It wasn't home. It was a room at my grandmother's house.
"Ew, fuck..." I shook my head, reaching up to grab my hair.
What had I done? I couldn't of cheated on Gerard... I didn't sleep with her... Did I?.. I looked down at the floor, hoping to find something to truly confirm or deny the events of the previous night.
"Fuck..." My voice came out cracked this time. I shouldn't of drank. Why was I so stupid?.. I was the disappointment that everyone said I was... I couldn't even stay faithful when alcohol touched my lips.
"I couldn't of slept with her..." I shook my head, spinning where I stood as I struggled to find evidence in the dark. I felt like I could be sick.
"What are you doing?.." I heard a soft voice mumble behind me. I turned again and saw Jamia rubbing her eye tiredly.
"What did we do?" I asked.
"Nothing fun, you lightweight." She rolled her eyes and turned away from me.
I walked over to the bed and into her view sight.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned, my heart racing.
"We were making out." She said, rather angrily. "We were gunna do more but you fell asleep..."
I shook my head, pushing my fingers through my hair. "I have a boyfriend!" I exclaimed, my heart continuing to race.
She just made a scoftful noise. "You said it was weird with him."
"No!" I shook my head, "No, I said the sexuality thing because... Because I don't know where I fall!"
Jamia sat up and tilted her head at me. "I didn't even sway you a lil?.." She asked softly, beginning to trail her fingers up my bare torso.
I swiped her hand away and stepped back. "Don't touch me..." I said, still trying to clarify last night in my mind. "I TOLD YOU."
She stood up from the bed. Her lips were pursed together and her eyes reflected only anger.
"You didn't say no." She shot at me, "You're the one that brought me into the room! I'm soooo sorry you're feeling sorry for yourself, you fucking cheater." She spun on her heel and began digging into the bedding, pulling out her clothes.
"I did tell you." I argued back, "I was fucking drunk!"
"And so was I!" She hissed, spinning back to look at me while she angrily slid her shirt over her head. "The laws favor me. Keep it up and I'll call the cops."
I looked at the dark haired girl in an angry confusion. She had seemed so sweet before... Now she was threatening me with the cops? She had pushed her face against mine...but I didn't pull away... But I couldn't...
"You just stay away from me, Iero." She hissed, turning away to slide her skirt on.
"Likewise." I said angrily. I saw my own clothes on the ground and bent down to get them as I began walking to the door of the room.
"Where are you going?" She demanded.
"Fuck off!" I replied, throwing the door open.
"Since you couldn't finish the job!" I heard her yell as I walked down the hall.
I put on my pants as I walked to the front door of my grandmother's house, not even bothering to button them as I hurried out the front door. I didn't start putting on my shirt until I was down the driveway and partially down the street. I shivered from the cold as I thought over everything.
I failed the one person I never wanted to let down. I made a stupid mistake that was just proving my family's points about me.
I sat myself down on a random curb and buried my face in my hands. How could I drink myself into this all over again?.. I thought I could handle it... Fuck up Frank strikes again.
I shook my head, looking at my surroundings. I was somewhere between home and the place I just left. I didn't know what to do. It was still dark. It was so cold...
I shakily reached into my pocket and grabbed my cellphone. I hit the power button and saw that it was almost three am. I also saw a message from Gerard.
I love you
G
I grabbed my hair with the hand that wasn't holding my phone. No you won't, Gerard. You're going to hate me. You put so much trust in me and I fucked everything up again.
I held back a cry and exited out of his message. I instead went into my contacts and clicked call. I only had to wait a few rings.
"Ray's roadkill café, you kill it, weeee griiiill it, how may I hel-"
"Ray?.." I cut off one of his favorite answering phrases with a shakey voice.
"Frank? Oh is frank, GUYS SHHH IT'S MY BUDDY!" Ray slurred as, from what it sounded like, he addressed a roomful of people.
"Ray? Are you at a party?" I asked softly.
"Youuuuu gotta talk louder!" Ray insisted, "Mikey is doing DJ crap in lingerie an it's real weird?"
"Ray..." I wiped away a tear that was threatening to spill from my eye, "I-I need help... I fucked up..."
"Oh, pretty mama shhhh phooone! I'll call you." Ray giggled as he addressed someone in the room he was currently partying in.
"C-can I just call you later?" I asked, pushing my palm against my forehead.
"PETE IS SO SMALL HE'S CROWDSURFING THISIS NUUUTS! W-wut Frank? There's a lot of distractions..."
"Later. Call." I said shortly before I hung up the phone. Ray couldn't help me right now like old times... He couldn't just magically pull me out of the fires this time.
I fucked up...
"Did you get a passing grade, Frank?"
"No mommy, I'm sorry..."
"What's the point in having a child that will be too stupid to take care of you?"
"MOTHER! Don't speak like that around my son!"
"You mean your failure."
I scrunched my eyes shut at the memory that ran through my head.
Nothing but a failure
I hid my face in my hands again, letting my phone drop to the sidewalk beside me. Why didn't I tell my mom I wouldn't come? I could of avoided all of this... It's not like I had really interacted with the old bitter woman... I had just proved her points from my whole life...
I shook my head, grabbing my phone and rising shakily to my feet.
The one person who thought I wasn't a failure... Of course I let him down... Of fucking course...
I slowly started off in the direction of my mother's house. I had nowhere else to go at the moment...
"I can't believe I fucked this up!.." I muttered to myself, tugging at my hair. I didn't want to repeat my highschool self. I was supposed to grow up. I was supposed to get past drunk experiences like this...
I shook my head, throwing my arm down to my side. I looked down at the ground as I walked. After all those thoughts, a single one began to haunt me.
How was I going to tell Gerard?..