***
That feeling of regret
when time passes
and you realize you let
the wrong person go.
***
K I A R A
I was pacing about my room nervous and worried.
Today was the day. The great day I would officially be an adult, the day I would be finally welcomed into the pack.
I had written a letter to my mother a few days ago, telling her about my new home, my meeting with the Moon Goddess and my strange gifts. The letter would probably reach her today and I hoped she would be happy with the decision I had taken.
"It will all go well." Bella reassured me as she stepped into my room with the gown I was supposed to wear for the ceremony.
I tried not to appear too constipated as she approached.
"I hope so too." I inhale deeply, trying to settle my overwrought nerves.
I had been nervous and panicky since the past hour. Zara had been trying her best to reassure me too, but to no avail. Over the last few days, I had trained everyday. I had been preparing myself both physically and mentally. Yet, as the moment drew close, I was still jittery.
"Lets get you dressed now. The ceremony starts in a while. You must look your best today." She said.
I nodded, standing up.
There was dead silence as got she helped me get ready. In fact I was so tense, that I kept my eyes averted from the mirror most of the time. I didn't have the courage to look my reflection, fearing it would me freak out.
"You can look now." Bella said after an hour and I could figure the amusement in her voice.
I never wore make up or gowns and was totally new to all this. I'd choose jeans over gowns any day, if it were up to me.
Slowly, opened my eyes and hesitantly faced the mirror.
I blinked at the woman in front of me. She blinked back.
I blinked again.
Was the woman in the mirror really me?
I looked so different from my usual self that it was even hard believing that the person staring back was indeed me.
"I look so different." I murmured, still refusing to take my eyes of the mirror. "Almost unrecognisable."
It was now that I really understood how the Ugly Duckling felt when he realized he had transformed into a swan...
Bella laughed behind me, "Not just different, you look exceedingly gorgeous too."
"Thank you," I said sincerely, clasping her hand in mine. "I mean it. You have done more for me than my own family would. How can I possibly repay you?"
She had always been my rock. As a sister from another mother, as a friend, as a confidant.
Her smile was unwavering. "You are part of our family now and you will always have my support in whatever you do."
* * *
I stood behind the rows of people who were seated waiting for the ceremony to commence. My eyes searched for Ashton as I waited. I hadn't seen him since breakfast where he had just given me a smile and a reassuring hug.
Once our feelings for each other was out in the open, he no longer avoided me. In fact, everyone had come to accept us as a couple now.
"You look beautiful, Ki." A husky voice spoke in my ear which caused me to blush deep red instantly.
It was annoying how the simplest compliments from him would make me blush now.
"You clean up well too." I said cheekily, turning around to face him. "Not bad. Not bad at all."
He pouted. Not bad? Is that a synonym you use for dashing and handsome?"
I laughed. Egoistic as ever.
He was actually anything but 'not bad'. To be honest, I was having a hard time not drooling over how handsome he looked in a tux.
But me being me, I could never let him go without puncturing his ego a bit. What should I say? old habits die hard...
"Oh well," I pretend to sigh, "If you really need an ego boost that badly, then I suppose a few fake compliments would help." My fingers tug at his collar as I draw him closer. "Or should I just show you instead of using words?"
The look on his face was worth - everything.
The tips of his ears reddened.
"I am not so desperate for a compliment." He huffed, "In fact you have no idea of the number of girls swooning over me right now."
My eyes automatically swivelled towards Claire, who stood a few feet away from us. She was indeed staring at Ashton and passed me a stiff smile when she saw me look at her. I smiled back, containing my jealousy.
Don't judge me, it is really difficult restraining yourself when someone cast such longing looks on your boyfriend.
"Clearly they are blind." I joked, turning back to him, "Or else they suffer from insanity."
Ashton rolled his eyes. "Says my girlfriend who has a hopeless crush on me."
I blushed profusely, refusing to meet his eyes. Unfortunately, he had me here.
"You are lucky." I mumbled. "I don't give my heart away to many."
He stepped forward which made my heart skip a beat. "What—" I stuttered.
"Shh, ca down." He placed a finger on my lips. "I know I am." He cupped my face with his hands making me look into his warm brown eyes which held so much warmth, I would melt in his arms.
My eyes fluttered shut as he closed the gap between us and I was suddenly acutely aware that his lips were just inches away from mine. My heart was racing and my breathing hitched at our closeness.
"Ki?" he whispered and the unspoken question lingered between us. I nodded my head not willing to open my eyes.
His lips softly brushed against mine and I smiled savoring the precious moment between us.
His touch was soft and gentle yet so affectionate. A simple gesture, yet it spoke a thousand words. It didn't matter to me what the future held for me, all that mattered to me now was that I felt loved again.
* * *
I clutched the folds of my gown as I waited nervously for Ashton to finish his speech.
Any second now, and I would be called on stage for the welcoming ritual.
Don't panic, I told myself. Just breathe in, breathe out... Breathe in, breath...
My palms were beginning to sweat.
"—So let us invite Kiara Evergreen, who has chosen to join our pack and become a part of our family." I immediately felt a multitude of faces turn towards me.
Covering the bubbling anxiety with a gracious smile, I put my foot forward.
I can do this. I will do this. I hyped myself I walked past the hundreds of people. I kept my gaze fixed on the only person dear to me now and my confidence grew with the encouragement in gaze.
I took in a deep breath as Ashton took my hand in his and lead me to the stage.
This is it, Kiara, no turning back now.
"Do you Kiara Evergreen, agree to be a member of the Blood Hound Pack?
"I do." I answered with conviction.
"Do you swear to be loyal to the Pack, and treat each one as your own family?"
"I do."
"And do you promise to leave behind your past and look forward to your future with us?"
I felt a sting in my chest. Like an invisible pull was tugging me backward.
"Yes, I do."
A sudden image of Aden flashed before my eyes that made me halt. Gritting me teeth, I shove it in the deepest recesses of my mind. What the fuck is going on?
Ashton was saying something, but his words felt like water in my ears.
I had put enough distance between us. Aden should no longer be able to affect me. Is this because I'm cutting of the pack link?
Ashton was waiting for me, gaze expectant.
"I—I d..." I tried.
Something didn't feel right. The sting in my chest was unceasing, grappling, almost like a frantic pulse.
"Kiara?"
I was vaguely aware of the mutterings from the audience.
Was I choosing the right thing? Would I regret my decisions in the end? Did I really want to do this?
"Kiara, are you okay?" His voice seemed anxious and the mutterings of the crowd began to grow louder.
I had a responsibility towards this pack. The moon goddess had a plan for me. I was supposed to be here. I deserved to be here. I deserved to be happy.
And just like that the fog in my mind cleared.
My eyes opened. "I do." I whispered.
A sudden pain shot through my heart as Ashton's hand touched mine. I could feel the old ties breaking away, and new bonds forming. Somewhere in my head, Aden's memories seemed to fade away which left me feeling hollow. The void brought an unexpected sense of calm. This is what I wanted. This is what I dreamed of having ever since I was made an outcast.
I looked up at Ashton hoping to see his steady reassuring smile but saw him staring dubiously.
The mark on my arm glowed blue and then faded again.
And it was done. Finally over. I was a member of the Blood Hound Pack.
* * *