Ceri (Photo of Aello Aleksy)
I crouched and blew on the fire gently, inciting it to grow
I whispered with eagerness: "Come on, little flame"
I grinned when the flame flickered and climbed the couple pieces of wood and started feeding on them
"Good girl!"
I pulled out the small pouch and opened it. I stared at the red powder and sighed: " Now, send your fumes to the sky. Let him see you, little flame"
Before I could pour the powder over the flames, my arm was yanked back and the red powder spilled all over the ground
"WHAT THE HELL, CERI!!!!"
"D-Drita??"
Damn it... what did I do now?
"Yes, DRITA! The one you're lying to!!"
My eyes widened in fear: "I-I didn't lie to you-"
"You left our territory!!!"
I gathered my thoughts, trying but failing to find error in my deeds: "Y-yes," I smiled hesitantly as I continued, "I was on a mission! I had to deliver a message to the-"
"You did not even tell me or wait for me to take you!!"
She hasn't spoken to me since the reunion with my father. And now she's angry out of nowhere? M-maybe she's just worried about me???
I shook my head: "You were out hunting-"
"That doesn't allow you to leave without MY PERMISSION!"
I stared at her in confusion, and as her grip tightened on my arm, I still failed to understand the reason behind her glares
"Drita, it's alright! I-I didn't get lost, I swear!" Well, I met Aleksy in the forest
"That's not the only problem, Ceri! Just because you have a father now, you think you can do as you please! DO NOT THINK FOR A SECOND THAT YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT PROTECTION!!
"I... Drita, please... I don't know what I did wrong?"
"You went behind my back!!!"
"No! Halina knew! And-and Leader Sosanbra allowed-"
She pulled me to stand and sneered at my face: "I don't give a damn about Halina and I am certainly not interested in that child's decisions!!!"
This time I just gasped and didn't know what to say.
She...... she just called Sosanbra a child! The... the Leader!!!!!
"Ceri? Are you alright?"
My head whipped to see Moina approaching us, looking at Drita worriedly. When Drita didn't even acknowledge her presence, she called to her: "Drita, is there a reason for you to scold Ceri?"
Drita narrowed her eyes at me for a moment, making me unable to even answer Moina. Maybe my silence made her anger dissolve a little, because her hand slowly eased the grip on my arm, and she pushed me back. I stumbled and almost fell on my ass. Drita glared at me a bit longer before leaving.
"My my, I wonder what has gotten into her lately"
"Sorry..."
"It's not your fault, dear"
I was really grateful at her kind words. Moina was always nice to me. She never hit me or scolded me. She even allowed me to play with her children from time to time. I still remember the way she spoke for me when Rhonwen accused me of stealing and dragged me to the Leader.
"Thank you, Aella Moina"
She shook her head slowly and lowered her voice: "I never liked Drita anyway"
We both chuckled and I looked down at the red powder
"Did she do this?" she asked, motioning for the red powder scattered on the ground
"No, I was clumsy"
I crouched and used my hands to try and gather as much as I could of the powder.
"I'll help you"
"It's alright! Please, don't soil your pretty dress"
"You sure?"
I nodded and smiled up at her.
"Well, I hope this signal thing works for you, Ceri. Remember though, you need to be patient"
I nodded: "Thank you"
"And Halina said you should stay away from the cliff"
"I will"
She walked back to her children, and I resumed gathering the powder. It was already stuck to the ground. Once alone, a bile started forming in my throat.
After I came back from the Aellos' territory earlier, I told our Leader and the Aellas of what Leader Cailyn said. They were all so happy with me, and they looked excited and started chatting about the presents that will be gifted to them in about a week. I let them laugh and talk, and approached our Leader. She pulled me aside, which allowed me to talk more easily, and I asked her to allow me to send the message to Alev. She seemed a bit reluctant at first, but when I informed her that Cailyn was ok with it, she gave me the small pouch and agreed as long as I don't cause confusion to the Aellos.
I stayed a little with Epona and little Vreis who demanded to hear about their father. Then I sneaked here and started making the fire. As long as I made it late in the afternoon, I won't risk confusing the Aellos and make them think it was a message for them.
But......... now the sun was setting. I should've started the fire immediately after I came back!
And the powder...
I tried my best not to cry over this, Ithel wouldn't want that.
My hands and knees were now all covered in red, as I carefully took the small amount that I could salvage and threw it slowly over the fire. The flames flickered more wildly and the red powder burned and transformed into red fumes. I blew more on the flames and added more wood, before standing close to the southern edge of our mountain and waiting.
I gazed at the distance in eagerness. I couldn't really see Saeva like the Leader Cailyn told me, but I hoped...
Dilara... please help me... Tell my father to look at the sky... Tell me he's alive
A bit later, I started gathering some of the red powder again. What I got was too small, but enough to make the fumes red once more. I ignored the heat and clapped my hands over the fire to drop the powder that stuck to them but it didn't do much.
Once again, I stood at the edge and waited.
"Did it work?"
I looked behind me to see Siena, an Aella that was about a year younger than myself. I was too shocked that she was talking to me because she hasn't done that in over five or seven years.
She walked closer, her steps never making any sound on the ground, and her fingers pulled a lock of her long red hair to play with.
I had my hands and knees all soiled with the redness of the powder, and it made me feel embarrassed how dirty and childish I looked. I looked around us, but we were alone as the other Aellas were on the other side.
She chuckled and bit her lower lip, still working her finger around a lock of her hair. As much as her hair looked beautiful and soft, its sight always puts me on guard. And that was simply because she got her hair from her mother, hunter Aella Rhonwen.
"So?"
I frowned slightly in confusion. She laughed and came closer: "Your signal, Ceri. Did it work?"
"Oh... no it didn't"
I looked back at the distant sea. It was getting slightly darker because of the sunset, and my chances of getting a signal back were narrowing quickly.
I know it was a slight chance for him to see the red fumes. Besides, the Leaders Sosanbra and Cailyn both asked me to be patient. But I couldn't help the fear inside me that something bad might have happened to him!
That would be so, so unfair! I just got him back! We spoke for only a minute and he was taken away to Saeva!! What if......
Siena held my arm closer to her as she stood beside me: "Don't worry, dear. My mother tells me Alev is a very strong Aello. She has no doubt he'll survive and come back to you"
I took half a step away from her, and without noticing, closer to the edge. She was staring at me, her eyes held feelings I couldn't remember an Aella looking at me like that before
"Thank you"
She smiled, and stepped closer again: "My mother also tells me that once Aello Alev is back, you'll be leaving us. Is that true?"
Of course, Aella Rhonwen wanted my father to claim me so I'd be gone from here. I wasn't sure though if that was mostly because she hated me, or just because of her love to my aunt Halina.
I went with a nod, since it felt difficult for me to talk. I was actually feeling very uncomfortable. I always wished the Aellas my age would be my friends and they'd talk to me and include me in their lives like they did to each other. But I guess I'm too old for that now, because frankly, this closeness was anything by comfortable
She tilted her head down, and then her eyes looked up at me: "Well, we'll miss you around here"
"R-Really?"
"Definitely. I know I will"
I don't even know what face I made, but it certainly showed that I didn't believe her
"Don't misunderstand me, Ceri. I... I really like you. I just wasn't allowed to talk to you"
Of course. Because I was fatherless. Without identity, I was no one. Not worth even talking to. And the older Aellas made sure their daughters wouldn't have their honor tarnished by knowing me.
I would never know where I had the courage to express myself at that moment: "I haven't changed, Aella. I'm still the same me"
She smiled, leaning slightly forward so her hair fell on my shoulder, and her finger touched my chest slightly: "No you're not. Now you're an Aello now. Which means, my mother can't tell me not to talk to you anymore. And...... I'm free"
She winked at me making me try to pull back.
It wasn't that she was ugly or anything. Actually, she was really beautiful and acting sweet. It's just that I wasn't at all used to this behavior and............ it got me thinking
By the name of the kind spirits, please don't let her ever meet Ithel
"Free?"
She giggled: "Yes, free to choose you for my next Agape. Actually, I'm not the only one thinking it, but I will do my best to seduce you better than any other Aella and win you, Aello. And hey, no worries, I know you're not used to living in the forest. So I won't ask for much, only kindness and love. I promise we'll have a good time, and my father will help us if we ever needed anything"
I just froze, unable to answer her eager eyes. Is... is this what Ithel was afraid of???
Siena giggled again and pulled me away from the edge, and I just realized how close I was to falling in the cliff: "I'll take care of you, Ceri. We're both young, both charming. The spirits will grant us a beautiful, healthy baby"
"B-b-b-b-baby!!!??"
She nodded and traced her fingers down my chest. She kept talking, but I didn't register her words anymore.
A baby, she said. ME??? Is she serious????? I am yet to have my own father teach me how to catch a fish or a squirrel, and she wants to give me a baby!!!
I can't take care of myself outside the Aellas" territory, nor inside, by the way. And I'll be given a small helpless creature to nurture and protect in the FOREST!!!!!!
I was mentally panicking and remembering how Aleksy was so happy and eager to have a baby, while I needed Aleksy to avoid getting lost on my own island
Ithel... where are you?
I want my Ithel...
"SIENA!!"
I practically jumped away from the young Aella when her mother's voice startled me. Siena didn't seem affected at all. She looked back at Rhonwen who was waiting for her and glaring at me. Then she walked towards me again. She held my hand near her face, and used my index finger to trace her lips. The red powder slowly drawing an alluring color on her lips, making me think if I should get my hand on some powder and make my own lips look like that for Ithel. Would my Ithel like that?
"How about..." she said seductively when she finished painting her lips vivid red, "tomorrow, I will get you some more red powder, so you'd try signaling your father again"
"Really??? You can do that!"
She smiled and nodded: "I can do many things. So, would you want me to come here tomorrow too? With the red powder?"
"Yes, please! Th-thank you!!"
She winked at me, and retreated to leave with her mother, who I didn't even dare to look in the eye.
~~~~~~
I sighed.
I was sad because I couldn't see Saeva or have a response to my signal. But the possibility of trying again tomorrow made me hopeful. I gathered the scattered burnt pieces of wood, and put them away. And then went to go back to the cave where Halina and the children would be by now.
On my way there, I remembered how dirty I was, so I decided to go clean myself instead. I headed to the stream of water. It was dark already, so the spring of water was all mine. Like Halina taught me, I pulled a cloth around it as usual, before I removed my clothes and rubbed my body with the cold water.
It took longer, much longer than usual to clean myself because of the powder that became very sticky once it touched the water. When I finished, I knew I had to rub myself well the next day too, because my nails, palms and soles were still reddish.
I dried my body the best I could and put my clothes on again. They weren't really clean, but I had forgotten to bring clean ones with me.
Just as I pulled the cloth that covered the cleaning area, I yelped and took a generous step back
"D-d-drita!"
She looked down at my clothes, probably noticing the little red spots as she commented: "You got yourself into a red mess"
She didn't sound angry, so maybe she was just teasing me.
"Sorry..."
"I saw you talking to Siena. What did she want with you?"
I just shrugged. It didn't seem to please her because she stepped closer and repeated, insistently: "WHAT. did you talk about?"
"Euuuh... B-babies?"
Ok, I knew that was a wrong answer as soon as her eyes darkened with a frown
Damn it, why did I talk!!! The priceless rule that kept me alive all these years, was to never open my stupid mouth!!!! No words are ever better than silence!!!
"Why the hell would Siena talk to you about babies!!!"
I raised my hands in surrender: "E-E-E-Epona and-and Vreis!! We-we spoke about E-Epona and Vreis!"
Her hands grabbed my sides and pulled me closer. She just kept staring at me, and I didn't know what I could do for her to just let me go in peace
"Sorry..."
Her features softened and she tilted her head: "I forgive you Ceri. If I didn't forgive, I would've punished you already. But don't leave the mountain again without my permission, you got me?"
I nodded.
"Not Halina's, not Sosanbra's, MINE"
I nodded again, and she finally smiled: "I don't mean to scare you Ceri. You know how important you are to me. But now that you have many friends, you seem to forget the people who truly love"
"Drita... You've been a real friend to me. I'll never forget that when no one wanted me around, you would come talk to me. And the times you came back to check on me when I was here alone and everyone were on their Agape... I'll never forget that. I never meant to make you mad"
"I know. That is why I didn't punish you."
I smiled as I felt my whole body relax. I wasn't getting a punishment. That was very good news.
She slowly pulled me into a hug, making me unsure what I should do
"I'll take care of you, Ceri. Even when you go to the Aellos, if you're tired of their harsh lives, you can come back here. I will take care of you, I will protect you"
I didn't really understand why would she think I'd be tired of living with the amazing Aellos, but at least now, I knew better than to voice those thoughts
"Thank you"
She hugged me tighter and ran her hand up and down my back. I couldn't help but fear soiling her clothes and making her mad at me, but I chose silence again and just waited.
She didn't let me go though. She was getting so close, that I had to take half a step back, only to have her step forward again. She was now breathing in my neck with her hands groping my sides and lower back. I was sincerely confused. I barely had space to breathe and didn't know what to do. But I wasn't so stupid as to not understand that this wasn't supposed to be like this. And as soon as I remembered last year, when she started touching me and getting too close, my heart started pounding in my chest.
Last year when I pushed her away, then yelled no at her and ran, it didn't go well for me after that at all. I was punished so many times before she forgave me and let it go. I.... I don't want to live that again!!!
When her lips latched on my neck, and gasped and tried to push her: "D-D-Drita..."
My voice held so much fear, but she didn't seem to even hear me. She started kissing my neck, just like Ithel did on my agape!!!!
I couldn't take another kiss from her that felt creepy and so wrong! So I dared to push her back. When she stared at me, I dreaded her punishment, so I hurried to give an excuse
"I-I need to go back to the cave. H-Halina is waiting for me"
I pleaded with my eyes for her to just let me go. After a moment, she smiled and I almost dropped on the ground from relief.
She patted my cheek, a bit too strongly even, making me wonder if it was a sign of endearment or a threat: "You can go, Ceri. We still have plenty of time. Just remember, I have everything planned to protect you. All you need is to continue trusting me like you always did. You can do that, right?"
I nodded, knowing that she'd definitely want me to agree. She patted my cheek a couple of times again while mumbling: "Good. You're a good Aella"
Aello, I wanted to say. I didn't deserve it, but for some reason I definitely wanted the title that Cailyn gave me. It never bothered me when Ithel called me an Aella, but with Drita... I want her to see me as strong and independent, not the pathetic boy who needed protection
I'm an Aello
"You remain a good Aella until the next Agape, and I promise you won't face any troubles, Ceri. You just need to do as I say"
I attempted to pull away, and this time she let me. I hurried to start walking, but she called me again and whipped my head around, afraid of what she might say or do
"Tomorrow I'm coming home early. How about I get you some fruits?"
It took everything in me to put a smile on my face. She smiled back and motioned for me to go.
And that was exactly what I did.
For the next few months, I did my best to avoid being alone with her,
wishing for nothing but the sight of my father,
and the embrace of my Ithel