Chapter 6. Feeling.
"Instead of describing a 'ghost' as a dead person permitted to communicate with the living, let us define it as a manifestation of a persistent energy." ~ Fred Myers.
"Mom...what?" Callie began, unsure of the sight before her. The woman, sitting in the small, bare, unattended to room was like the empty shell version of what used to be her mother. Her dark brunette hair hung in her face dully, covering all parts of her face that her long, thin fingers didn't.
"Mom, what's wrong?" Callie spoke out loud; knowing full and well that people couldn't see and interact with her. She looked over at her mom's hands that cupped her small face and noticed that her wedding ring was no longer there. Not even the slightest hint of a tan line. There was no trace that the delicate piece of jewelry had ever even existed.
Across the room on one of her old dressers was every framed picture of Callie that they had. Callie walked towards them with a hollow feeling in her chest. It was like a shrine to her. There were even candles lit around the pictures. She hesitantly looked back over to her mother's weeping form.
This can't be happening. This can't be happening! This can't be real!
Callie screamed as loudly as she could. The pictures and the candles and her mother, it was all too damn much for her. Twenty-four hours ago she was a semi-normal angsty girl who was pissed at the world. Because she was too stupid to listen to her mother and go to school for one day, she lost her life and everything she loved.
Callie screamed again, her fingers entwined in her short messy hair hair out of frustration. Tears unwittingly spilled down her face. "No! This isn't real!" she cried out in agony. "I don't believe it. No!" She slowly slumped down on the floor now, gently raising her hands to cradle her face beside her mom, mirroring the heartbroken women.
"Callie?"
Callie looked up in surprise at the sound of Kalen's voice calling out to her from the staircase. She wiped at her face frantically.
"Callie," he called again just as desperately, now in the room with her and kneeling beside her gently. "Are you okay?" His eyes pleaded sorrowfully as he took notice to the shrine of her, and then the sight of her mother across the room. He tentatively reached out towards her, then decided against it and let his arm go limp at his side.
"Yeah," she sighed, attempting to calm herself. "Yes. I-I'm fine. I'm good." She tried to stand, but reluctantly found that she needed him for support.
"Really?" he questioned with noticeable doubt. Though the pair weren't exactly amicable, he felt empathy for the poor girl, and wanted nothing more than to help ease her pain. After all, who else in this world could relate more to her pain at this very moment?
"Come on, Callie," Kalen grabbed at her arm and tried pulling her out of the room. She rocked back on her heels in resistance. "This isn't good for you! You should probably get out of here." The fight was futile, and Kalen retracted his hand and released the distraught redhead.
"Look, I'm really okay. Really." She fixed her hair and swiped at the wetness under her pale blue eyes. "I can't leave. Not yet." She looked back at Kalen and, upon seeing the strange, pained look in his puppy dog eyes, she felt a small smile tug at her lips. She reached out, despite the bitter, scared feeling in her gut, and gave his shoulder a slight squeeze as a thank you.
"If you need anything..." He drifted off awkwardly.
"Thank you. Do you think you could give us some time? I just... I want to say goodbye." Callie's eyes landed back onto her mother, whose quiet sobs could still be heard. Callie swallowed a hard lump in her throat and momentarily closed her tired eyes.
"Yeah. Of course. I'll just be downstairs, I guess." He slowly took a step back, his eyes never leaving Callie's depressed, palled face.
"Okay."
As Kalen made his way back to the staircase, Callie could hear a faint whimpering noise escape from her mother's throat that distracted her from all of her many pessimistic thoughts swarming through her mind. Immediately, she ran to her side and knelt down beside her, wishing in vain there was something she could do in an attempt to provide any sort of comfort.
"I didn't..." She trailed off, crying out painfully. Callie hugged her tightly, only to be completely ignored. She pulled back and stared into her mom's lifeless eyes. "I didn't..." she repeated again through her tears.
"You didn't what?" Callie pleaded.
"I didn't even get up to hug her g-goodbye... My own daughter... I didn't..." She kept repeating without fail, each time her words became more unclear.
"Mom, please, it's okay." Callie whined slightly, trying very hard to be strong.
"Oh.." Her mother whispered to no one in particular, sounding ready to begin sobbing again any moment now. Callie leaned in a bit closer to hear more of what she was saying clearly. But, she said no more. Instead, Mrs. Tyler pulled herself to her feet gently, holding onto the footboard of Callie's old, rickety bed. She wiped her face with the backs of her hands, leaving fresh mascara streaks under her cloudy blue eyes.
"Wait, don't go," Callie lifted her arm in her mom's direction, but the effort was useless. She let it drop numbly to her side as her mom strolled out, sighing to herself. She scrambled to her feet, trying to get a grip on what was happening. Walking to the doorway, she stopped, lightly running her fingertips down the white, wooden frame. She vividly remembered the last time she had the opportunity to walk through it. Hanging her head, she trudged back towards the top of the staircase, dragging her feet as she faintly heard the soft sound of her mom humming a tune she knew all too well.
Almost mechanically, Callie began to hum along, becoming louder and louder with every step down the wooden stairs she took. She raised her fingers to her hair and tried to adjust herself, trying to look at least halfway presentable when she found Kalen again. She began humming louder, trying to regain her composure.
"You make me happ-y," she softly sang, her voice quietly breaking on the last syllable. "When skies are gray."
She took another step. "You'll never know, dear, how much...I love you." Then another. "Please...don't take my sunshine...away." Callie croaked as she reached the bottom step, not bothering to look back as she made her way to Kalen, who seemed to have kept busy in their living room during this entire ordeal. He didn't appear to have heard her enter the room, so she abruptly broke the silence.
"You, um, ready to go?" She asked, avoiding eye contact with Kalen as she felt him slowly study her. Callie shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, but didn't say anything.
"Yeah, alright. You sure?" Kalen questioned, not knowing exactly what to say or do. He knew that going upstairs to find her mother was going to be traumatic, for lack of a better word, but he wasn't going to pry. Maybe she'd tell him what happened eventually, but Kalen knew from the very moment he met Callie that she wasn't going to trust him or let him in any time soon, if ever.
Callie shrugged and turned, heading for the door. Kalen silently followed suit, keeping a few steps behind the troubled girl. "So, where to now?"
"I don't know, what about your place?" Callie suggested, not feeling all too pleased with herself, or the universe for that matter.
"No, no. I'd rather not," Kalen dismissed, not giving it another thought. "No way."
"Why not? Don't you want to visit your parents?"
"I just don't want to. That's all." He didn't mean for the words to come out as harshly as they did, but the mere thought of going back to that hell hole made him anxious. This caused him to receive a slightly irritated glare from Callie's direction. "Besides, it's just my mom, and she's almost never home."
Callie raised a quizzical brow. "Wouldn't that make it even an even more ideal place to crash? Just for a little while, at least."
Kalen grimaced. "I don't think it's a very good idea. Can we just drop it already?"
"Well, then where do you suggest we go? I am open to suggestions. I know, how about we just sit here out in the streets for the next two weeks?" Callie hissed, taking a few steps closer to the frustrated boy.
"It doesn't matter, anyway. I mean, we're dead. Outside or inside, in a mansion or in the sewers, it's all the same! What does it even matter? If you care so much, how about we just stay at your house for the next few weeks?" Kalen took one step towards Callie, almost completely closing the gap between the two. Kalen's eyes narrowed as Callie's hands clenched into fists.
"This is so stupid," Callie sighed finally, still angry. She took a step back unwillingly, opting for peace even though she knew that all she wanted to do was sucker punch the stubborn boy. Kalen's facial expressions relaxed and his eyes softened, feeling the sharp pang of remorse residing deep in his chest. He, too, became aware of their close proximity and stumbled a few steps backwards.
"I'm sorry. Look, okay, fine. We'll go to my house. Just... Don't have any high expectations." Callie's eyebrows rose, then knitted together questioningly at the suddenly emotionless boy's retreating figure. She didn't say a word, though, as she ran to catch up. She tried to match his quick strides, quietly, trying to think of words to calm him. She looked up at his face; his tanned, tired, sullen face, then arched her head back up to the dark clouds in the sky. Perhaps silence was the best option for the time being.
Callie dug her hands inside of her jean pockets and tried to distract herself with her thoughts throughout the journey to Kalen's home. After backtracking their way to the cross section where this whole catastrophic mess had begun, it wasn't too long before they made it to apartments where Kalen used to live. She had never travelled to this side of town before, she didn't even know that this area existed. For good reason, she figured.
"Huh," she breathed without thinking, and Kalen shot her an irritated glare. She couldn't help but feel surprised. She figured he lived in some sort of palace-like house. She would have never in a million years pictured Kalen to live in a place like this. It was a good thing she was already dead, because if not, she may have been a little frightened for her life right about now.
Kalen noticed Callie looking around, mouth agape, with a hint of surprise and worry playing across her features. He felt the edges of his mouth rise slightly, but the almost smile vanished just as quickly as it appeared as they strolled through the opened doors of the old building, which looked like a lawsuit waiting to happen. He rolled his eyes and tried to breathe only to find himself rolling his eyes again after realizing how pointless the act was.
Callie noted that there was a small construction site in the corner of the room across from them with a door way covered in a plastic tarp, a few miscellaneous piles of bricks and unused wood and paint. She feared that a few coats of paint and a rebuilt door way may not be enough to save this condemned living space.
"So, uh... Nice place?" Callie smirked at how obviously uncomfortable Kalen was becoming. Kalen snorted.
"Fourth floor," was all he said in reply.
"Jeez. Sorr-y," Callie drew out every syllable of the word sarcastically. She flipped a handful of red hair out of her face as she tried making her way towards the elevators, ready to make another smart remark before Kalen interrupted her train of thought.
"Let's just take the stairs. They'd be quicker and easier," Kalen interjected, blocking Callie's pathway.
"No, I hate stairs," she whined stubbornly, planting both feet firmly on the ground. "Too much work."
"Uh, you do realize you can't actually feel tired, right?" Kalen's eyebrows raised in shock at just how unmotivated the girl was. He found it amusing in a way, but more irritating than anything at the moment. He just wanted to get the Grand Tour over with.
"C'mon, just go on the elevator. We could've been there by now!"
"No, Callie. This is ridiculous! We can't even physically do it; not with so many people around. People would see the door open, but there would be no one there to actually press the button. It'd be weird and too hard to explain."
"You're ridiculous. What are you, scared?"
"Reverse psychology, very original. Sheesh," Kalen commented, just about ready to punch a hole through a wall. "We'd have no way of getting on it, anyway," he added dryly. They weren't technically alive, yet he felt as if being with Callie for so long was aging him severely.
Callie rubbed her temples with fervor. "Is this what we're going to be doing for the rest of time? Fighting? Just kill me now then and get it over with." She turned away from the boy dramatically.
"No, I'm not trying to fight with you, Callie," Kalen bit, albeit somewhat argumentatively.
"Well you're doing a hell of a job then, Kalen," she growled in response. She turned back to him now.
"You're not helping the situation. If you would just listen to me for once. I didn't even want to come here in the first place!"
"I know, because you remind me every ten fricking seconds-" Callie responded in their now full out screaming match. Her words were interrupted as a jagged piece of plywood from the construction site shakily lifted off the ground and soared between the small gap between the two.
It picked up momentum as it flew through the air, ultimately impaling itself into the wall on the opposite side of the lobby. The pair were dumbstruck, momentarily putting an end to their quarrel as screams of terror filled the air. They slowly turned their heads to glance back at each other quizzically. Their hearts raced as adrenaline coursed through their veins.
Callie spoke first. "Was that... us?" She asked slowly, a little scared of the answer.
"I'm not sure," Kalen chose his words carefully, still attempting to catch his breath. At that very moment he felt very human, and very much alive. "This doesn't make any sense..."
"I thought you said we couldn't feel anything?" She quoted Kalen as if he had all of the answers.
"Well, I'm obviously not an expert on this kind of situation, Callie. I know about as much as you do." He sighed and let his shoulders slacken as he took a step away from the girl.
Callie bit her lip. Right. Why would she think he would be able to tell her anything different? "Yeah, that was a dumb question," she admitted quietly.
"I guess we're going to have to be more careful from now on, until we can get our emotions a little more in check." Kalen reached out and offered his hand to the still shaken up girl in front of him. "Truce?"
Callie studied him thoughtfully, then reached up her hand and shook his once.
"Truce," she agreed with a grimace. Her arm then reached up and idly caressed her forearm, which was suddenly throbbing. Looking down, she noticed a slight tear of her teal long sleeved shirt.
"What the..." She trailed off, not knowing exactly what to think or say.
"You're hurt," Kalen reached out to the injured area out of reflex. Callie, feeling overwhelmed as she tried to comprehend what all just happened, allowed him to do this without realizing. Her arm stung where Kalen's fingers lightly traced, and she retracted it quickly.
"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth. "It just broke the skin I think."
"Callie," he began.
"I said I was fine, okay?" He eyed her wearily, but let the subject drop.
"Okay."
"You would think Mr. All High and Mighty would've told us about this little detail," she spoke absently, looking down to regard her torn sleeve one last time.
"I don't get it. This whole thing just doesn't make any sense at all." Kalen began to pace, the wheels of his mind spinning rapidly.
"We just need to regroup. We'll be better off if we have some sort of confined space to figure things out in. Somewhere without a shit ton of objects that could potentially decapitate us around preferably."
Kalen stopped pacing momentarily and simply nodded at Callie, realizing that was the best thing they could do for now. "Alright. Let's go, then." His tone was defeated.
"But, wait. We just established that we can feel stuff now," Callie called out, stopping him mid-stride.
"Yeah?"
"So, the elevators are right there... And the stairs are so long..."
"No elevators!"
"Eh, it was worth one last shot." Callie begrudgingly stomped past him to the staircase, giving him a light shove as she strode past him. Kalen took a moment to study Callie's retreating figure, mentally evaluating her.
"Crazy. Yep. Definitely, one hundred percent, out-of-her-mind insane."