This is sad. Just letting you know. I wrote this a long time ago so please be excuse the worse then usual writing.
I rush through the airport with tears still streaming down my face. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe the first time I come to visit him, it's under these circumstances. I can't believe that he didn't tell me. He didn't tell anyone. No one except his family had any clue of the pain he hid.
~Flash back~
I scroll through my feed on Twitter and notice a very concerning message from one of my followers.
@Markiplier did you know about @jacksepticeyes condition before?! How long have you known?!
I furrow my eyebrows in concern before clicking over to jacks channel to see what was going on. What condition? I didn't know about any condition?
I clicked the video titled. Bad news |vlog|
"Whhpisss! Top o the mornin' to ya laddies! My name is jacksepticeye and welcome to the vlog! I have some pretty serious updates for you guys and I don't really know where to start." His expression was not nearly as cheerful as usual and he had massive bags under his eyes. "First of all, I want to thank you all for 10 million subscribers! That is insane and I couldn't be more grateful! But as thankful as I am, I'm not making this video for that. That will come out soon but not right now." He Started to cough into his elbow but tried hard to hide it. "Eh badgers. Anyway, I've always tried to be pretty upfront with you guys but there is something I've been hiding for a while now." He looked down and his eyes became glossy with the beginnings of tears. "About a year ago, I was having some really serious pain and I couldn't tell why so I went to the doctor. Long story short, they ended up doing a full body scan." I gulp. That can't be good. Doctors usually won't do a full body scan unless they found something. Something bad that they didn't want spreading. "They found it first in my lungs." He says and a few tears slip out of both of our eyes. This can't be happening! Jack can't be sick! He can't be! "It didn't stay there long. I don't want to go into specifics of what it is but it's a rare form of..." He pauses for a second to take a deep breath before looking back up at the camera. "It's a rare form of cancer."
My heart dropped. How is this possible? He can't have ca... Can.... I couldn't even bring myself to think the word. "I just wanted to let you guys know because it's not really getting better. In fact..." He put his hand up to his hair. He had kept it green even after it would have been back to normal. He had always said he just liked the color. "There's more then one reason I so willingly changed my hairstyle. It was a good excuse because I would have to do it anyway." He barley pushed on his green locks and they moved with his hand. Like, moved away from his scalp completely. He then brought his thumb to his lips and licked it before wiping at his eyebrow. Make up was washed away to show pail skin underneath. I had aways wondered why he had shaved his face all of a sudden. I had always loved his stubble. "Chemo is rough." He says and my heart breaks even further. I had always seen him as a picture of health. That's the way he always portrayed himself. "I'm not quitting YouTube just yet. And I'm not doing this as some publicity stunt to get more attention. I've specifically avoided attention for as long as I could but it's not getting any easer." He coughed again but quit much faster then last time. "Anyway... I just... I wanted to keep everyone updated. I'm sorry for not telling anyone sooner. There will still be videos coming out and I have something big planned for the milestone!" He smiled wide but the pain shone through like a sunburn. "Anyway. Thank you guys so much for watching this video. If you liked it (which I doubt) punch the like button in the face like a b...-" he was cut off by another coughing fit. He didn't scream his outro like usual. He didn't put any effort into the act. How sick is he really? How much was he hiding? "Sorry, punch the like button like a boss and see you all in the next video." He clicked off without even saying his full outro.
~back to the main event~
That video went out three days ago. There hasn't been any since.
I walk through the airport and call Jacks phone again.
"Hello?" His sister answers. I called him right after I saw the video but he hadn't picked up. I called him over and over and he never answered until this morning. But it wasn't him that picked up.
"Hey, I'm here. Where should I go?"
"We're at the hospital right now." She said sadly.
"H-how is he?" I asked. I don't know whether or not it was a question I wanted answered.
"He's asleep. He's... He's still breathing." She said, holding back a sob.
"I'll be right there." I whispered and called a taxi over.
After a good hour of leg shaking and avoiding conversation with the cabbie, I finally arrived at the hospital. A woman with jacks old hair color and his same blue eyes recognizes me and walks over to where I stand.
"Janet." She says and sticks out her hand.
"Mark, are you his sister?"
"Yeah. Follow me. He should be up by now." I followed her down a few hallways before coming to a closed door with no window. I was let in as a doctor left and the sight before me left me almost sobbing.
Jack, the man I had come to know so well, lay in a bed with wires coming out of him in every which way. His wig nowhere to be found. "His wig fell off at home as he was calling and everyone was too occupied to grab it." His sister said as she left the room and closed the door behind her.
His chest rose and fell in a pattern but his eyes stayed closed. I walked over to a chair beside his bed and took his hand. I don't care if it's weird to hold your friends hand. That is the least of my worries right now.
His eyes fluttered open slowly and he looked at me confused for a second. "Mark?"
"Wh-why didn't you tell me ya doof?" I ask as tears run down my face. "I would have been here sooner. I-I would have visited and..." I was cut off by my own sob as I looked away from his crystalline eyes.
"I didn't want to worry you." He says weakly.
"Didn't want to worry me?! Sean I'm terrified! I'm losing my best friend and I didn't even know it until it was so late in the game."
"You're not losin' me just yet." He said and brought his hand to my cheek. "It's amazing to see you again Mark."
I cupped my hand over his and let out a small smile as well. "It's great to see you too. I wish it were under better circumstances but you know."
"Don't ya worry bout lil ol me. You can come visit again when I'm out of the hospital and back to normal jackaboy."
Is he really in that much denial? Or is he just playing it off for my sake?
"It's ok to not be ok." I say softly. "I won't judge you for it. I'm here for you, not the other way around."
He looked at me for a second before the tears started to fall. I stood up and held him to my chest as he sobbed. "It hurts. I hurts so f***ing much." He sobbed. I just held him close and let out my own silent cries. I had to be strong. This was his moment to be weak, not mine. I sat on his hospital bed beside him and he curled into a ball at my side. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close as I could, feeling him shake beneath me. This would be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I had to do it.
~
After a little while, Jack tiered himself out enough to fall asleep and I decided to go get him something from the cafeteria. I stood up and wrapped the thin sheet around his small frame. He had already lost so much weight. I stepped out of the room to be greeted by another woman that looked like a much older version of his sister.
"You must be Mark." She said and wrapped me in a tight hug. I hugged back just as tight.
"Yes I am. I'm sorry to be a bother but I just had to see him."
"A bother?" She pulled away with a small smile on her face. "Not at all young man. You are exactly what the doctor ordered for my son. He thinks so highly of you and speaks of you often."
"W-what does he say?" I ask.
"Oh he talks about how generous you are towards him and others. I'll tell ya, I've never seen him happier then when he comes back from one of those gaming trips."
I smiled softly. "That's very sweet. I adore spending time with him. Out of curiosity, how did you know who I was? Did your daughter tell you I was coming?"
"No, Janet hasn't spoken much through all this. Most of us haven't. No I knew you from Sean's description. He listed every aspect of your appearance. I would know what you looked like in any crowd."
I blushed. Why would he describe me so fervently? I don't understand it.
"Where's his girlfriend?" I ask
"Oh they split many months ago. She's come to visit him once but they aren't on the best of terms. Jack left her so that she wouldn't have to deal with all this." She gestured to the surroundings. "She wasn't thrilled about it but I think he made the right choice."
"As do I." It's hard to be suffering. It's also hard to have to suffer because someone else was suffering. Keep as many people away so when you go, you leave less destruction. "I was gonna go grab him something to eat. Would you like anything?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "No but that's very sweet." She smiled. "I know he'll appreciate it."
I nod and head down to the cafeteria. I smile as I see a cookie display and grab a few. I pay for them and head back to the room. When I arrive, Jack was still asleep. I walk back to his bed and slip in with him. I wrap myself around him and feel him shift. "Where'd you go?" He asks.
"I brought cookies." I say with a smile. He smiled back but doesn't reach for one. "You want one?" I ask. He shakes his head and nuzzles into my chest. I bite my lip. This can't be real. None of it. He's just normal Jack. Normal, fun loving, loud mouthed, cookie eating, Jack. He's going to be fine. Everything is fine.
"Mark?" He asks worriedly. I notice that I had been sobbing. I bring my hand to wipe the tears.
Don't cry. Don't cry. You'll just make it worse. Don't cry
"Mark. It's ok." He says. I shake my head and pull him as close as possible.
"I-is it ok for me to say something stupid?" I ask.
"It always has been." He tries to joke.
"I love you. I love everything about you. I love how much you care. I love that you were trying so hard to protect everyone else. I love that no matter how much pain you're in, it's still not your number one concern. But I also hate it. I hate that you care so much. I hate that you feel the need to protect everyone. I hate that you won't just care about yourself for once. And this all would be so much easier if I could just hate you. If I hated you then I wouldn't have to feel this drowning feeling in my gut. I wouldn't have to pretend that I'm strong. I wouldn't have to be so scared."
"Then why don't you?" He asks all to calmly for what I had just said.
"Because there is nothing in this world that could make me hate you. Because I love you more then I've ever loved anyone. Because all this pain and fear is worth it if it means I get to spend mere moments with you. I love you Sean."
I felt hot tears against my shirt and I knew he felt the same even if he couldn't say it. "I love you too Markimoo. You're an idiot." He says almost angrily.
"I know. But if being an idiot leads me here then I'm ok with it." He cried for a long time before he finally spoke again.
"C-can you sing to me Mark?"
"What should I sing?"
"Anything." He says weakly. I felt my heart break as the realization hit me.
"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy, when sky's are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."
He hums contently. "Again." He whispers.
"Y-you are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy, when sky's are grey. You'll never know dear..." I had to pause as I held back a sob. "how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."
"Again please." He whispered weakly as the heart monitor began to slow.
"You are my sunshine."
Beep...
"My only sunshine."
...beep...
"You make me happy,"
......beep...
"when sky's are grey."
.........beep...
"You'll never know dear,"
............beep...
"how much I love you."
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
"Goodbye Sunshine." I whispered.