In many ways, Krystal was grateful for Victoria's leaving rumors in late May. It helped to solidify Victoria's stance with SM so that there were no concerns about her leaving the company. It helped to renew Victoria's relationship with f(x), which had become a little distant with Victoria's activities in China. And it also helped to make Sulli's leaving rumors in late June easier for Krystal to stomach.
About a month after Victoria's rumors were laid to rest, a new rumor appeared claiming that Sulli was planning to halt her idol activities to pursue acting full-time. The idea that Sulli, Krystal's best friend and soul mate, would be leaving f(x) had caused a panic within f(x)'s youngest member.
But Krystal remembered the situation with Victoria and how easy it was for false news to be spread and for misunderstanding to occur. Krystal was able to keep calm (somewhat) and wait for Sulli's response. And upon hearing Sulli's assertion that the rumors were untrue and that she was still planning to return for the group's upcoming 4th album, which they had already begun to record in bits and pieces, Krystal felt reassured.
f(x) was able to overcome two crises in two months time. But as July and the upcoming SMTOWN Tokyo concerts loomed on the horizon, a new challenge appeared for f(x).
"Vic-unnie needs leg surgery?" Krystal asked, her eyes wide with concern. Seated next to her at the brief f(x) team meeting were Amber and Luna, whose expressions mirrored Krystal's concern upon hearing the news from their managers.
"It's not serious, but she'll be undergoing a procedure soon and she won't recover in time for the concerts," Lee Wongyun, their manager, told them.
"But Vic-unnie is scared of pain," Luna said, tearing up a little at the thought of their leader needing a medical procedure. "Will she be OK?"
"She'll be fine," Amber said confidently, patting Luna on the head. "Let's call her later and check up on her."
"She'd like that," manager Lee Hojoon agreed. "But regarding the concerts..."
"We're two people short," Krystal realized with a start. This was the first time in f(x)'s nearly six years of activity that the group was down two members at the same time. "Are we still going to be able to perform?"
f(x) had never performed a song intended for five people with only three members before. Missing members weren't as much of an issue for bigger groups like Super Junior, Girls' Generation, or EXO, but for a currently 4-member group like f(x), a missing member was cause for concern.
Luna dropped her head onto the table looking quite dejected. "We're becoming like TVXQ..." She looked at Krystal and Amber bitterly. "Which of you wants to sit out next?"
"Hey, hey," Amber said, shaking Luna's shoulders playfully and pulling the sullen girl back up. "This lineup change is only temporarily, we'll make it work."
"Maybe shadow dancers?" Krystal wondered, looking to their manager-oppas. SHINee had used shadow dancers in the past, like when EXO's Lay had filled in for an injured Jonghyun prior to Lay's debut. Perhaps the same could be done for f(x).
Wongyun nodded at Krystal's suggestion. "We've already lined up two dancers to join you for practice tomorrow."
"[Two] dancers?" Luna asked, perking up. Krystal was a little surprised as well since she had been expecting only one shadow dancer to fill in for Victoria.
Their managers smiled at the girls. "Of course. f(x) is a five member group, isn't it?"
With wide smiles, Amber, Luna, and Krystal nodded in agreement.
"You'll need to make a lot of choreography changes even though it'll be a five-person performance," Hojoon warned. "The three of you will need to be at the front of the dance formations more often instead of the shadow dancers.
"Will we have enough time to learn the changes?" Krystal worried. Today was July 1st and the SMTOWN Tokyo concerts were on July 5th and 6th. That didn't leave f(3) with much time to make the choreography changes and practice.
"We have to make it work," Amber told Krystal gently, full of determination. "We have to promote f(x) diligently so that Vic-unnie doesn't worry about us while she's away."
Krystal smiled at Amber, who seemed to be trying to look more confident now that she was the acting leader in Victoria's place. The maknae knew that Amber was right and that f(3) had no choice but to make the Tokyo performances shine. On top of being strong for Victoria's sake, f(x) was also planning to release a special CD/DVD in Japan later this month. The SMTOWN Tokyo concerts were f(x)'s first chances to promote themselves in Japan before the release, so they had to work hard.
Amber smiled at Krystal and then at Luna and held out her finger for their cheer. The two younger girls smiled and held out their fingers as well.
"Let's work hard," Luna agreed, and Krystal nodded.
"1-2-3," Amber counted, and then all three of them joined in. "f(x)!"
The following day, after many hours of choreography changes, practice performances, and repeated re-tweaking of the choreography changes, Krystal couldn't help but think of the days before f(x)'s debut. The five of them had worked so hard to prepare for their first LA chA TA stage that they would dance for 10 solid hours to complete 100 performances of the same song until they collapsed from exhaustion.
Without a word of complaint for their current practice, Krystal fell to the floor after what felt like their 100th run-through of the modified "Red Light" choreography. She was too drained to dance another step, not without a few minutes to recharge her body and mind. Amber, Luna, the shadow dancers, and their choreographer had not made plans to take a break after this run-through, but no one moved to restart the music after the song ended. The others sat down and silently agreed to take a break.
Heavy breathing filled the room and nobody spoke for several minutes until the dancers and choreographer finally stood and excused themselves for a while. Dazed, Krystal stared at the lights in the ceiling and reached up to idly grab at the brightness.
She heard a shuffling behind her, and then a hand gently grabbed hers. Krystal looked up to find Luna staring down at her with a smile.
"Do you remember when we used to practice as hard as this?" Luna wondered, coming to kneel beside the younger girl. "Back before we debuted?"
Krystal rolled over onto her stomach, still keeping a hold of Luna's hand. Luna lay down on her stomach across from Krystal and the two of them looked at each other with fond smiles. "I remember a certain bossy unnie demanding that we practice until we reached 100 performances and no one was allowed to leave a moment sooner," Krystal recalled with a smirk, causing Luna to look back at her sheepishly. "I was just thinking about that before you came over."
"Do you remember how that certain person used to cry harder than any of us during those extreme practices even though she was the one who demanded that we practice like that?" Amber said with a smile, coming over to where Krystal and Luna lay. The older girl gently draped herself across Krystal's back and smiled at Luna. "It feels like a lifetime ago."
"It feels like just yesterday," Krystal said softly, closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth of Amber across her back and Luna's hand firmly holding hers. "I can still remember all the suffering and the feeling of just wanting to quit and run home to my mom like it was yesterday."
"I'm sorry," Luna said contritely. Krystal opened her eyes and found a very apologetic Luna staring back at her. "I was too greedy back then, too eager to push us straight to the top. Looking back at how I behaved, it's a miracle that the four of you accepted me all these years."
"We all understood your feelings back then." Amber reached out and placed her hand on top of Krystal's and Luna's and the three of them held on to each other. "We were young and greedy, too. It wasn't just you."
"Honestly unnie, it's true." Krystal nodded below Amber, shaking the older girl on top of her and making Amber smile. Luna's sullen face brightened a bit at their antics, but she remained apologetic.
"I should have been more understanding of your feelings back then," Luna admitted, dropping her gaze, ashamed. "I was too focused on myself when I should have put you guys first. I didn't cherish you guys enough back then."
"You cherished us a lot, unnie," Krystal said. She squeezed Luna's hand and tugged on it until Luna looked back up at her. "You pushed us that hard because you wanted us to succeed. You wanted f(x) to be together forever, and it worked. Are we not successful now? Are we not still together?"
Luna smiled back at Krystal, touched by the younger girl's understanding. "Thank you, Soojung-ah. You too, Amber-unnie. I really am glad that we're still together as f(x). But..."
"But Vic-unnie?" Amber guessed, causing Luna to nod.
"And Sulli-ah..." Luna clarified softly. "It's been so long since the five of us performed together on stage. I've almost forgotten what it feels like."
"Would it have been easier to ask Sulli to return now and keep our four member choreography instead of redoing this as three?" Krystal wondered aloud. It was too late to ask the question now that the choreography changes were set, but Krystal couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if she had brought up this idea yesterday.
Krystal noticed Luna furrowing her brows toward Amber, who still lay on top of her. The youngest girl could not see Amber's expression, but Krystal assumed, based on Luna's reaction, that Amber had something to say about Sulli.
"What's up?" Krystal asked, nudging Amber with a shake of her shoulder. The older girl finally rolled off her back and lay on the ground nearby Luna. There was a hint of guilt in Amber's expression and it piqued Krystal's interest. "Talk," she demanded.
"I called Sulli yesterday and asked her to fill in for Vic-unnie during SMTOWN Tokyo," Amber admitted. Luna and Krystal's eyes widened in surprise.
"What did she say?" Luna asked eagerly, although Krystal felt that Sulli's absence at their practice made the answer obvious.
"She said she didn't think she could learn the choreography changes quickly enough, especially since she's been out of practice for the last year."
Krystal was a little disappointed even though the response was as expected. But as much as she wanted Sulli to return to f(x) early, Krystal didn't want to force Sulli to do something that she wasn't ready for.
"SM wouldn't have let Sulli come back early anyway," Luna reasoned softly, sadly. "Having only the three of us perform this time is for the best."
Krystal nodded at Luna's attempt at optimism, not having much of a choice. Negativity wouldn't have helped the situation anyway. The choreographer and dancers returned, ending the deep conversation that the three active f(x) members were sharing. Luna jumped to her feet while Krystal continued to lay there with Amber trying to assess her mood.
"What would make you feel better right now?" Amber wondered, murmuring softly into Krystal's ear while everyone prepared to resume the practice.
Krystal thought for a moment and decided that having Victoria and Sulli back would make her happy. But since that was an impossible wish, Krystal decided to go with something easier.
"Let's take a group picture to let our fans know that we're working hard to prepare for the concerts," Krystal suggested. "I bet news of Vic-unnie's injury has spread already and fans are anxious about whether we'll appear or not. Let's clarify it on our own and put their hearts at ease."
The older girl placed a hand on Krystal's shoulder gently, touched by her concern for their fans. "That's a really sweet idea, Soojung-ah. Where's your phone? I'll take the picture."
"No, do it with your own phone and put it on your own Instagram."
Amber cocked a confused eyebrow at Krystal. "Why not post on your own Instagram? It was your idea."
"We currently don't fit the aesthetics of my Instagram," Krystal replied coyly, pointing out their ragged practice clothing. The response made Amber laugh and thereby made Krystal laugh as well.
Krystal and Amber posed on the floor together nearby their choreographer while Luna posed in the back with a bright smile on her face. Amber took the silly picture, capturing the efforts of the team for their fans to enjoy. f(x) would tout its smallest group lineup ever during the next performance, but it would not be at its weakest. Amber, Luna, and Krystal would try their best and see to it that f(x) still shined in Tokyo.