I'm watching some reruns of The Big Bang Theory and chewing on the reasons why I'm so upset that Lucas was with another girl.
It's not his responsibility to entertain. I should not be upset.
God! They were probably having sex, and I interrupted them!
"Please, kill me now!" I groan, rolling my eyes as I stuff my mouth with popcorn.
I need to make some friends around here, get out more. But, damn, when was the last time I even ventured going out alone?
"That would be never!" I murmur before passing out on the sofa.
When I wake up, I realize it's already ten in the morning. My whole body aches and my mouth tastes like mothballs; not that I know what they taste like, but you know what I mean.
Well, I guess a night of popcorn, cheap wine, and a bad sofa will do that to you.
Putting some coffee to brew, I head to the shower, and after spending about twenty minutes under the hot water, I feel somehow human again.
I'm on my second cup when I call Mark to see if I can get my car. "Mark's Auto Shop, how can I help you?" I hear him saying.
"Hey Mark, it's Alexia, Lucas's neighbor. I'm calling to see if my car is ready?"
"Hi, Alexia. Yeah, your car is ready, but Lucas has already taken it home for you. He got here earlier today..."
"Oh! Well, that's weird. He didn't mention anything... Did he pay for your services?" I lower my voice, I have no idea why.
"Everything is taken care of, Alexia." He chuckles.
"Oh! Well, thanks, I guess. I'll see you around."
"You're welcome. See you around."
Frowning, I head to Lucas' apartment, and the moment I knock, I realize Clare may have spent the night.
Well, what can I do? I need my keys back.
"Good Morning, neighbor," he says with a smile, and I thank God he is wearing a shirt today.
"Why did you bring my car back?" I ask.
"Again, we need to work on your social skills, Alexia." He touches my hand and my heart races. What the hell?
"You need a haircut," I blurt, trying to focus on anything but his touch.
Because seriously! This guy is too good looking!
"You spend a lot of time paying attention to my face, don't you?" He grins, and I sigh, annoyed with myself because... because, well, he is right.
"My keys, Lucas?" I ask, avoiding his beautiful eyes.
"Jesus, can't you even say thanks when someone does something nice for you?" He shakes his head and goes inside.
After some time he comes back with the keys. "Here," he says, and I take the keys from his hands, looking down.
"I'm sorry. You're right. It just-" I say and shake my head. "Thanks. I just couldn't understand why you would do that for me. We've just known each other for two minutes." I force myself to look at him."
"Maybe I like you."
"Oh! Oh! I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to be liked. I mean romantically. You know..." I feel my cheeks are on fire.
Dear Lord, when did I become this hot mess around cute guys?
He looks at me for a second and bursts out laughing. "Damn, I needed that!" he says, rubbing his eyes.
"Alexia, you're... refreshing!" he continuous. "What I mean is I like you as a person, a friend. I'm too fucked up in the romantic department to want something with someone like you."
"Someone like me?" I frown, his comment hitting just too close.
"You have 'innocent' written all over your face. I bet you want to be married and have two and a half kids before you hit your thirties." He crosses his arms and leans by the door.
"And what's wrong with wanting that?" I raise my chin because that's what I had planned with Greg until some weeks ago.
That's exactly what I want or wanted... I'm not even sure anymore.
"Nothing, really! I didn't mean it as an insult. It's just that it's not in the cards for me." He shrugs, and I wonder if there's more to him than his easy smiles.
"How do you know? Maybe you just didn't find the right girl."
"Why, is that an offer?" He lowers his voice in a way that makes my entire body shiver.
"Don't be a jerk." I head to my door, but I don't have time to open it, because what he says next stops me right in my tracks.
"I did. I found the right girl. But I lost her... so not in the cards. I don't believe there's another one in this world for me. "
Surprised, I turn to him and he meets my gaze, only his eyes are so sad my heart hurts for him. "I'm sorry," I whisper, with a sudden urge to hold him.
"Yeah, she died five years ago and my only focus now is on raising our son," he says, frowning as if surprised to be saying so much about him.
"You have a son?" I ask, once again taken aback. He seems young, around twenty-five or twenty-six years old, just a couple of years older than me.
"Yeah. Nate. He's six..." He smiles and for the first time since I met him, I think I see a genuine smile on his face.
"What about Clare?" I blurt the question without thinking.
Yeah! Maybe she bothers me more than I'm ready to admit to myself.
"What about her? She knows what to expect from me, I know what to expect from her... " He says.
"Isn't it bad for your son to see you changing from woman to woman?" I keep vomiting the words.
"I don't go from woman to woman. Clare and I have a deal, so don't go thinking I'm hurting her feelings and stuff," he says, his eyes so hard I look away.
"I see..." I whisper, not knowing what else to say. This guy is totally different from any other guy I've met.
"Alexia..." He starts, but I interrupt him.
"Well, I'll get going then. Thanks for getting my car. I feel bad you paid for it when I was also responsible for the accident. I'd like to pay-"
"Alexia," he says, walking towards me, "it doesn't mean I don't know how to be a good friend. You're new to the city... I- I could show you around..." He lets out a short puff of air, his eyes searching mine.
"Thanks, I don't need your pity." I don't know why I say that, but every time I think I have him figured out, he shows me a side of him I don't know how to deal with.
Or maybe I am the one not understanding my own feelings here.
"God, who said anything about pity, woman?" he says, his head shaking as he stares at me for a moment. "Have you had breakfast?"
"What?" I ask.
"Breakfast? That meal you have in the morning?"
"I had some coffee."
"So it's settled! Come on, I'm cooking for you." He offers his hand.
"Uh. How did we go from hook-ups to sons to breakfast?"
"Jesus! it's just breakfast, I'm not asking you to marry me." He chuckles as he opens his door wide for me.
"Uh..." I bite my lips to hide my silly smile, not knowing how what to do here.
"Just breakfast, Alexia."
"Okay, fine! I just hope you can cook well!"
"Oh, you'll just have to wait and see," he says, mimicking my words from the day we met.
His apartment is similar to mine but bigger and more manly. I have to say I'm impressed to see how neat he is. I don't know what I expected, but this is far from a place where I'd see a twenty-something single dad living.
"Nice place," I say, making my way to the living room, checking for spread toys and a little mess, only to find none.
"Thanks." He rubs his neck, that trace of red appearing on his cheeks again.
"So, what about that breakfast?" I say as we move to the kitchen.
"Right, how about eggs, bacon, and pancakes?" he asks as he opens the fridge.
"Wow, do you have some orange juice too?"
"Of course." He pretends to be offended.
"Well, I'm waiting."
"Stubborn and bossy..." He laughs as he cooks. "Make yourself comfortable. It won't take long."
As I sit by the breakfast bar and watch him cook, I'm surprised he seems to know his way around the kitchen. The opposite of me and Greg, who couldn't even boil water together.
Though we did talk about taking some cooking classes together before getting married...
Damn, I promised myself I wouldn't think about him anymore, but it's just hard. Sometimes even small little things remind me of him and of how entwined our lives were.
"Hey." He waves his hand in front of my face. "Where did you go?"
"Sorry, you were saying something?"
"I- no. " He searches my eyes. "Here..." He offers me a piece of pancake.
"Oh my God! Hmm... This is delicious!"
He looks intensely at me and clears his throat. "I'm glad you like it," he says, turning to the oven to prepare our plates.
After offering me one, he sits by my side. "Seriously, Lucas. I'm in heaven," I say, my mouth full of the best pancakes I've ever had.
"If I'd known the way to make you relax was food, I'd have offered to cook something for you sooner." He nudges my arm.
"Not just food. Amazing food." I point my fork at him. "So, about the car-"
"It's taken care of. You don't need to pay me back."
"Are you sure? I don't feel comfortable with you paying for everything now that I know my brake lights were not working well."
"It was nothing. I'm just glad nothing serious happened. Think about it as a housewarming gift." He shrugs, making me chuckle.
"Well, thanks again, then."
We eat in comfortable silence, and when we are done, he cleans the table.
"No, let me clean it, you cooked," I offer, resting my head in my hands. "Wow! I'm so full."
"Will you be able to go back home?" He smiles.
"Maybe." I chuckle.
"Do you have any plans for today?" he asks.
"Well, if you consider watching TV all day a plan.... then yes." I grin at him.
"Sounds perfect! Come on, we can watch some TV now and I can clean this mess later." He stands up, leaving the dishes behind.
"Sounds nice," I say, making my way to the couch.
Lucas makes no motion to turn on the TV, and for a moment he just looks at me while I make myself comfortable on his couch. I raise my eyebrows and look back at him, but he just shakes his head and sits on the other side of the couch.
"So, Alexia, what's your story?"
"My story?" I give him a shy smile. "I'm very boring. Tell me about your son, where is he now?" I look around the place and rest my arm on the back of the sofa.
"He is with my parents right now. My sister and her husband are on a sort of second honeymoon, or something like that, and my nephew is staying with my parents this week. I just can't seem to be able to drag Nate away from that house." He smiles at me, and his eyes light up again at the mention of his son.
"What about his mom's parents?"
"Well... His mother passed away five years ago, he was just one, so, yeah, I raise him by myself, with the help of my family. Monica's parents- They- They are not around much." He looks down for a second.
I want to ask more, but I'm apprehensive about the sudden mood change. It's obviously hard to lose someone, especially the mother of your children, but I sense there's more to his story than he is telling me.
"I'm sorry," I say and touch his hand, but he pulls it away. I don't know what else to say, so after a moment of awkward silence I get up. "I'm going to get going. Do you want me to do the dishes for you?"
"Hey," he says, touching my hand. "Please don't go." He looks at our joined hands for a moment and I feel a strong need to comfort him.
"It's just... hard for me to acknowledge Monica is gone, you know?" He pulls his hand away.
"I really don't know." I give him a small smile and sit back. "I've never lost someone I loved, so I have no idea how you feel... I'm sorry you have to live through it."
"Thanks. I know I have to move on, but I don't want to. I don't want to find another woman to start over, you know?" He searches my eyes. "We loved each other so much. We were young, but what we had was so real... so strong, and then I lost it. And then... the sense of emptiness was so brutal, I just... I never want to feel that again."
"But you didn't, you know? You didn't die, you are still here, something is making you go on." I turn my body toward him. "Maybe a little angel..." I smile.
"Yeah. My son. He is the one I work so hard for." He turns his attention to me. "He can be a little pest, but he is my life."
"Oh, don't tell me. I'll be teaching a first-grade class this year."
"Wow, You're a teacher?! I wouldn't have guessed." He raises his eyebrows, his eyes shining with humor again.
"Why not? Of course, it's my first proper job as a teacher, but I bet I can be a great one." I try to sound confident, but, deep down, I am freaking out with this new stage of my life.
"I'm sure you will, but judging for your lack of social skills and since you love to argue... I'd say you were a lawyer or something like that."
"Hell no! I'm too competitive to be a lawyer." I laugh.
"So, why did you decide to start your career here?" he asks.
"Well, I'm from a small town about six hours away, but after college, I applied for as many schools as possible, so... Here I am now," I say, not wanting to mention the part where I got dumped by the boyfriend who was supposed to be moving in here with me.
"I sense there is more to your story." He studies me.
"Don't we always have?" I raise my eyebrows.
"Touché." He smiles.
_____
A/N: Touché all right!!! ;)
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