18 February 2011, Friday
For a change, I went to school today by Mom's bike instead of Dad's car, because it had actually stopped raining. Yeah, I was amazed. Unluckily, I didn't run into anyone that I wanted to encounter.
Part four of the anti-bullying campaign (AGAIN) today. Luckily, the 9th graders got to go to the auditorium in the basement and watch a video. The 7th and 8th graders had already watched it before, during last semester, I think.
Our class arrived relatively early, but we couldn't go in because there were still people missing. We ended up telling the teacher we were all there, even though we really weren't.
Class 910, very unusually, sat somewhere in front of us. Usually, they're much slower than us, but this time, because we got held up, I could see him to the left if I craned my neck. I tried to pay attention to the anti-bullying video (shot in America, some of it by junior high/high school students), of course, and I mostly succeeded. Darn it, the fact that he's not going to night study anymore is STILL bugging me. I guess I haven't lost any friends voluntarily (except for Debbie, but that wasn't my fault, not the way this is. We just, somehow, drifted apart. Martin helped, of course, but now Debbie's mostly on good terms with two other girls, all of the studying-ridiculously-hard type. Their grades are all very good. I know I could be as good as, if not better, than them if I apply myself, but I'm not that hard-working. And I seem to lack the willpower) before, and I don't know how to cope. The least I'm doing is not going to pieces.
I have to say this again: all the anti-bullying campaigns by the school aren't going to help the victims of real bullying. When you can't correct the maliciousness of the bully, nothing is going to help. Everyone knows, of course, that bullying is wrong, but the people who are going to make other's lives a living hell aren't going to let the small fact that it is illegal stop them, and the ones who aren't going to bully anyone, well, just won't. Look at me. I have never been bullied in my life (only ignored, and not even deliberately, more's the pity), and I will never ever bully anyone if I can help it. I've known it all this time; I don't need the school to tell me.
The singular good thing about assembly on Fridays (which are only one period long, as opposed to the ones on Tuesday, which are twice the length. Thankfully, the 9th graders only have to go to assembly during Fridays, because the morning's when we have our morning test), is that they almost always eat into the first period. Of course, the more class time eaten up, the better. Most anything is better than sitting in the classroom hour after hour, day after day, week after week, until the blasted BCs are over and we can finally relax.
Then everything starts again the same way until we're taking our university entrance test.
Chinese was the first period. After that was Science, boring as per usual.
During the twenty-minute break, I was abducted by Leah to go with her to the main gate. She'd forgotten to bring her cell phone and her dad was going to bring it to school for her (So good! When I last begged Mom to take me something I'd forgotten, she'd told me crossly that it would be the last time. I haven't dared ask her again since, and I am currently trying very hard not to forget things).
Of course, I quizzed her on History, which was up next, during the long trek from our classroom to the main gate. It was drizzling slightly, but the basketball court was still full of people.
Leah saw her dad across the road at the carwash, so she asked the guard to let her out for three minutes to get something from her dad, who'd apparently forgotten. She managed it without incident, while I stood there watching her with much amusement.
In History, we had to take two quizzes, one of the "Cultural Development of the 20th Century" and another on the "Time between the Worlds Wars". We didn't pass the first one, strangely enough, even though it was really easy. Of course, Ms. Yang was furious with us, and told us that we'd have to take it again tomorrow. No problem. I had got full marks on it.
Because the tests took too much time, we didn't get a break. I was only able to go see Alice and Yvonne at lunch.
The nap today was Yvonne's scheduled meeting with Mdm. Lin. We all trooped upstairs to the Guidance Office when the twelve-thirty bell rung.
To put it baldly, I had no idea that her situation was this bad. Yvonne started crying/sniffling a bit halfway through. I remember how I felt when I was just ignored in my class (and, as I said, not purposely. No one would actively invite me to join their group, and I usually just sat there with my head in a book when I'm in class. It's much the same now, except that I've learned to completely distance myself whenever anything involving groups surface). What she was feeling, being actively picked on, must be ten times worse.
It also turned out that Yvonne had had a dream around the time of the winter classes, covering a lot of things from the start of school to the end of the BCs (she did well). It is freaking almost exactly the same as her current situation! She's had dreams like this before, and they all turned out to be mostly right!
She is PSYCHIC!
Okay, I don't know for sure, but it seems like certain things that happen in her dreams have happened in real life. A lot of times. I, personally, think that's it's an acute possibility she's psychic, and I don't even believe in these things!
Mdm. Lin told her that one way to deal with this was to look at everything like it was happening to someone else. She said that a student of hers used to cope with his bullying by turning everything into an action novel.
Exactly like what I'm doing now. Hey, it is my own idea, and I'm terribly proud of it, too (just look at how many words I've spouted!)!
Anyway, Yvonne said that most of the things Mdm. Lin said to her were almost exactly the same as what her mom told her. I suppose adults do think alike.
Mdm. Lin had to write out passes for Yvonne and I, for we talked too long, until class had started. Yvonne, being truly unlucky, had History. Needless to say, no one likes going in to History late, because Ms. Yang is too scary. She has a way of filling you with guilt if you did something that other teachers would simply shrug off, like coming in to class late, but with a pass.
At least I'm not afraid of our Chinese teacher, Miss Liang, who is Yvonne's form teacher as well. Yvonne was quite adamant about not telling her teacher. Alice and I agree; it almost never works whenever a teacher has to intervene. Just look at Victor. He's still being bullied, ain't he?
Second period in the afternoon was Health, which is taught by our Biology teacher (form teacher for 914). As a consequence, half of the health lessons are actually spent on Biology, because Health does not need nearly that much time.
English came after that. Even though there was a very loud and continuous humming noise coming from somewhere outside, from the courtyard in the basement, I think, I still managed to doze through most of the lesson. Not taking a nap does make a difference, after all.
For some reason, I did horrible on the after Earth Science test－75. Whatever. Mocks are next Tuesday; what more can I do about it (yeah, I'm not too keen about studying right about now)?
When the bell signaled the end of the day, I hurried to go meet Alice and Yvonne. When I reached the staircase, Pan came over to me, and we walked and chatted for a bit until we parted ways at the basketball courts (he's one of the few people in class that I actually like, mostly because he's ridiculously nice to everyone. I've never known him to get upset. He's conceited in a very funny way, but then, most of the boys in 913 are. Intentionally, I would hope). There were no free courts, so I guess Pan and his fellow boys would have to join someone else's game. Because they'd seem ridiculous if they lost right away, he said, they never go join a 9th grade game, cowards that they are. I suppose they usually go for the 7th or 8th graders' games.
When I continued on my own merry way, I saw a guy with a bright orange backpack and a blue lunch bag. Yes, Christopher. I didn't manage to catch up with him, even though I ran after him when he decided to cross the street with only twenty-something seconds left (it usually takes me at least forty seconds using normal speed to cross it). I don't know if he even saw me.
I saw Yvonne waiting there, but there was no sign of Alice. While we waited there, Christopher stood there talking for a bit with another boy. Yvonne barely acknowledged his existence; probably because she's currently not too fond of anyone in her class. Even though he talked for quite a while, he had gone by the time Alice arrived. I was a bit irritable because of that (note: I didn't manage to see him on Saturday, where everyone still has to go to school because they postponed the start of school from last Friday to this Monday. I'm really disappointed. Gods know when I'll see him again, let alone talk to him. Why? Why am I cursed with such abominable bad luck?), of course.
Alice said that she'd fallen asleep sometime before four thirty, woke up around four forty-five, and of course, frantically got out of there. At least we caught her. Yvonne and I were very close to just going home.
I guess Alice doesn't know I haven't really gotten over Christopher yet. Heck, this is me we're talking about, and I can be just as stubborn as her about matters of importance to me! We haven't had enough time to really talk it out. I still feel horrible, and a bit hollow inside, when I think that I'll probably have no chance to talk with him so much again. And I thought I had it bad about Martin. Looking back on it, I got over it much better. Maybe because I wasn't on as good terms with him, or I hadn't been outright rejected? Yes, that must be it. It didn't make much of a difference, for we'd been drifting apart since the 7th grade anyway.
Gosh, I'm so pathetic. I've never, ever, liked someone who actually liked me back.
One interesting thing I've discovered is that when liking someone in my class, I'd know a lot of things about the guy, but necessarily straight from him. Thus, I get to see him interact with loads of people all the time and a lot of the silly/embarrassing things that happens to him. On the other hand, I don't get to observe someone from another class as closely, and don't see him as frequently. The upside is that most no one in class will know about it. But I actually prefer it when my crush is in my class; I get to see him a lot more.
This is why I think I won't go to an all-girls high school (apart from there only being three, and their required marks are all quite high). I need something to obsess over. Okay, not really, but on the whole, girls are more likely to wage psychological battles, or cold wars, or whatever psychological crap with you. Most boys, on the other hand, are really simpler, and they are not that prone to that kind of thing. This I say from my experience observing the males in my family and at school. And I also get on with guys better, currently, at least.
Anyway, I was feeling pretty bad when I went home today. It didn't help that I had piano class today and I had to cycle there by myself even though it was raining.
Worst of all, there is still school tomorrow.
The only good thing was, I managed to smuggle the laptop into my room, and I finished three entries in a row, because both Mom and Dad have gone to the 9th graders' parent-teacher conference for the night. However, I know that I will be about as conscious as a zombie tomorrow.